Don't Lay Up, If You Can't Pay Up

Unless you've been living under a rock, 70% or more children are born out of wedlock. That statistic is dismal, because it shows that some people don't respect natural order. The natural order is education/career, marriage, then children. That's how it was done back in the day. Having children is expensive, because you have to raise them for 18 years minimum. Buying school clothes, life & health insurance, college fund, senior fees, etc. All of that takes money. My question is this: If you don't see yourself long-term with someone, why have their child(ren)? It's not fair for the child, because they are split between two homes. Studies show that children growing up in a two-parent are more likely to be successful, because their parents gave them proper guidance. Of course, there are instances which children are better off with one parent; abuse and absenteeism to name a few. You have parents who are physically there, but not there emotionally. Some parents know nothing about their child(ren), and vice versa. That's where this topic comes from, because how can parents bring children into this world, and not invest in them? You might as well give the child up for adoption, or get an abortion (worst case scenario). Being that I'm against abortion (except for rape, because I feel a woman should not be forced to carry a rapist's child. In that manner, I'm for abortion), the best route for unwanted children is adoption. You have couples who would give unwanted children a loving environment. It's lazy for parents to have children, and not take care of them. Young parents push their child(ren) on the parents, while they rip & run the streets. Many times, some young parents let their parents raise THEIR child, because they want to have fun. Sorry, but if you lay up, be ready to pay up. Paying Up means you sacrifice fun for your child(ren). Instead of going out with the fellas, you're home taking care of your child(ren).

Sleeping With A Married Man

This Strawberry Letter is from June 13th Steve Harvey Morning Show, and it's titled: Sleeping With A Married Man. Here's the letter:

I am sleeping with a married man. A little background: Over ten years ago, I met this man while I was in college. We hit it off good; we were more than friends, but never defined our relationship. I left to come back home. We keep in touch because we did consider each other as someone we really wanted in each others' lives. I ended up getting married. We still kept in contact. Fastfowarding three years ago, me and my husband separated. My old friend started opening up about how he felt about me, and I fell for him hard, because i felt the same. After my divorce, we started meeting up because we do not stay in the same town. I was thinking about trying to make a long distance relationship work, and go all in. One night, I decided to check records regarding if he was married or not. I remember it being mentioned some years back, but I was told it never happened. Well it did after finding this information out, I was crushed he kept this from me for over six years. It made me question if we really was friends or not. If he told me from the beginning, I don't think I would be sleeping with him now, but my feelings were too deep. I was thinking I could make something of this flame. I did address the issue with him, and tried to walk away. He told me he didn't want to tell me because he knew I wouldn't be down for it, and he really wanted me in his life. After a month or two, He pulled me back in with sweet nothings of he really needs & loves me, and how our relationship is special. I asked him to think about what we're doing; would he be ready for the consequences? He never gives me an answer. And for some reason, we can't seem to let go of each other, well at least I can't find a way to cut my string from him. Please, what can I do to get out of this situation, and can we still be friends without lovers?

 

My $.02: I know Steve Harvey & his staff have to crack up at some of these strawberry letters. Some of these letters are so obvious as to what people should do, but some people make situations so difficult. First off, what is she doing sleeping with a married man? Common sense tells you to leave another woman's man alone. It's bad enough married couples don't respect their marriage vows, it's worse when an outsider infringes on your union. Besides, what makes some women THINK a married man is going to leave his wife? It's not going to happen; the sooner some women learn this, the better. The fact is, she's a jumpoff. He loves her body, not her as a person. That's usually the case with jumpoffs, they are focused on getting theirs; forget the wife. Forget about that wife who thinks her husband is coming home to her, when he's getting some from another woman. Some people will say "If he's not getting at home, he will look for it elsewhere. What married man that's sleeping with another woman is going to admit he's married? IT DOESN'T HAPPEN. The husband sees this woman as a piece of meat. He's going to go home to his wife, and carry on like nothing happened. The husband isn't off the hook, because he should respect his wife. When I read scenarios like this, I have to wonder why get married? Why marry someone, if you want side loving? If you're going to cheat on your (wo)man, DON'T GET MARRIED. I say this often on Facebook relationship discussions, people don't respect marriage. I want to know how this turns out, and hopefully they will get exposed. What's Done In The Dark, Will Come To The Light. Someone should have had some sense to pump the brakes; Wait...that's too much like right.



I Want What You Have

What you take for granted, someone is praying for. Some people don't realize how blessed they really are. I look at people suffering with disabilities, and those who have perfect health; I know in the back of a disabled person's mind, they envy the person with perfect health. What comes naturally for most people, others struggle with. I can't stand people who take their blessings for granted. Those are the first ones to bellyache when something goes wrong. Sometimes, God will take away your good fortune to let you know there are those who are less fortunate, that will appreciate YOUR good health, talent(s), or social status. If I had the ability, I would make every ungrateful person walk a mile in the shoes of someone who's less fortunate; see how that turns out. I bet you those ungrateful people will straighten up REAL fast. No one wants to go back to struggling, especially if they remember what it took to get where they're at. Those are the people I admire, because they are humble. Humility goes a long way, remember that. You have some people who complain, no matter how great things are going. I want to say, "What are you bellyaching about? You have everything going for you, and then some, and you're crying? There are people that have to work harder than you to get the same opportunities. If anything, THOSE people have reason to bellyache." I will say this, to those who had a good start in life: BE GRATEFUL! Appreciate your good fortune, because there's others with the odds stacked against them, that try to catch a break, only to have doors repeatedly slammed in their face. When I start being ungrateful, I check myself because there's always someone worse off than me. I don't glorify anyone's suffering (I pray for their deliverance), but I am grateful that I don't have worse struggles than some people.

Daddy's Girl(s)? Have Several Seats.

Let it be known that I'm annoyed at some women who refer to themselves as Daddy's Girl(s). Really? That's a red flag because to me, that shows she can't think for herself. She has to run to Dad for everything. See, men wouldn't get down like this because it's expected for a man to be able to stand on his own. So why should women get a pass? Doesn't make sense. When I think of the term Daddy's Girl, I think of an attached woman that measures her future husband by her father. If he was a wonderful husband, she seeks that in her future husband. If he's sorry, well..you know the rest. Just like women frown upon mama's boys, men should frown upon women who refer to themselves as Daddy's Girl. Grow Up ladies, seriously. After a certain age, you should be able to choose for yourself the kind of man you want, INDEPENDENT of your father. Some women pride themselves on being independent, but you wouldn't know it since they refer to themselves as a Daddy's Girl. Should I meet a woman who refers to herself as Daddy's Girl, she WILL NOT receive further consideration from me. I understand if a woman had a wonderful father, but once she grows up, she should be able to discern for herself what a good man is. Some women are always saying how independent they are, well here's their chance to prove it: From here on out, a woman IS NOT to compare her future husband to her father, even if her pops was an excellent provider & parent. It's borderline incestuous to hear a woman paint herself as Daddy's Girl. To me, that signals some sexual activity going on (yes, dads and daughters do have sexual relationships in this sick world). Make it so bad, some women glorify being a Daddy's Girl. Ma'am, being a Daddy's Girl is not a good look for you or your future husband. That tells your man you aren't independent enough to choose a good man for yourself, so you need your father to be your measuring stick. If men are expected to leave father & mother, and cling to their wife, the same applies to women.

Keep It Classy: By Lotus (How To Be A Woman)

I like my women classy, not showing all the booty.

 

How to Be a Woman

KEEP IT CLASSY

Ladies,

Summertime is upon us, and the summer wardrobe is in effect. While we are dressing for the weather, we still need to be mindful to leave something to the imagination. We can't expect for men to approach us like the ladies that we are if we are portraying an image less than that. Ladies look like ladies. We can still be sexy and beautiful without showing everything God gave us. True enough, sometimes, you can't judge a book by its cover. But, if the cover of the book is a hot mess and shows him everything from the outside, why would he want to waste his time opening up the book to find out what's inside? Also, please dress appropriately for your body type, meaning the body you have NOW, not the body you want LATER. If you're not where you want to be physically, be encouraged, because hard work will get you there. What you look like in relation to your attire, is a direct indicator of how you feel about yourself on the inside. Some crave attention and dressing scantily is how they get it. But, all attention is not good attention. I have never understood how a woman can walk around half-naked and then get upset when a man steps to her disrespectfully. Respect yourself first. Ultimately, your style and attire is your decision. All I'm saying is, let's keep it classy. Because everything is not for everybody. S/N: Those that protest about this post, just might be the guilty ones.

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Getting Upset When It Rains: By Lotus (How To Be A Woman)

Introduction: Some women will blame the moon, stars, and the sun for some of their poor choices. It never ends. Excuses have excuses.

 

How to Be a Woman

***CAUTION: HARD HITTER AHEAD - PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK***

UNDERSTATEMENT

Ladies, 
 You can't create your own storm, and then get mad when it rains. Accountability is severely lacking. We have made choices that have led us to the sad, current state of affairs that we are in. It's always, "What about the men"? "Look what they're doing." "They are no good." I say, what about the women? Look what we are doing, or not doing? We make "no good" choices and then want to wash our hands of all responsibility. We should be ashamed. Women have no self-respect anymore. Some will do anything for a dollar. They share their body with the devil himself as they lay down their dignity, only to rise with disdain. They exit the house and face the world, looking like they just rolled out of bed, with head scarves and pajamas their choice of attire. They use their children as bargaining chips, and as a means to get a check. Instead of raising their standards and raising their children, they choose to decrease their value and diminish their worth. Ethics and morals seem to be a thing of the past. Partying takes precedence over being an active, responsible parent. Our little ones are more familiar with curse words than spelling words. I could go on, but I won't. I am truly saddened by what we have become, and I weep for our babies. A sad state of affairs? Please. That's the understatement of the year.

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Pledge Of Allegiance: Lotus (How To Be A Woman)

Introduction: As usual, the lovely ladies of How To Be A Woman drop another hit. This one is about loyalty. The reason why some women have issue with loyalty, is because they are loyal to the wrong men.

 

How to Be a Woman

PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE

Ladies,

Loyalty is everything. Dedication to your man creates an unbreakable bond. Relationships must be based on mutual devotion and respect. We are all familiar with what allegiance means. But, sometimes our loyalty is misplaced. We have loyalty to our careers and our girlfriends. Some of us have more loyalty to our hairstylists than we do to our own man. Constantly breaking up over minor issues is not a display of loyalty. Professing your love publicly but flirting in your inbox with other men is not dedication. If you feel like the man you are with is not worth your loyalty for whatever reason, it's time for a re-assessment of you. Could it be that you attracted someone not "worthy" of your loyalty, because your actions don't make you worthy of any either? Make that promise. Dedication to your man makes you all the more attractive. If you can't pledge your allegiance, you're a waste of each other's time.

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