If You Play, You Pay

 

In every game, there's established rules of how the game is played. You have two or more players and as with all games, someone is bound to lose. How can you play the game and catch feelings when you lose? That's stupid.

Nojma Reflects

I remember a conversation I had with a coworker years ago. She was interested in a brother, and after maybe three weeks of knowing him, she didn't understand why he didn't want to sleep with her. He told her that he wanted to get to know her mind. She took that as rejection and decided that she was going to deliberately seduce him, so she did and they had sex. Afterwards, she was feeling proud of herself, and the next day her calls went unanswered. She didn't understand why. The Brother texted her and told her to stop calling him, he told her, she should be happy because SHE got what SHE wanted, but it was to bad that she couldn't be who HE wanted her to be.
So then she started dogging the brother out,and I said well he's correct. You wanted to sleep with him, so he slept with you. He told you that he wanted to probe your mind, but you feel that your value was in him probing your body. You offered yourself to him and you can't be upset that he took you up on YOUR offer.
I said the real issue is why do you see it as rejection if a man tells you that he isn't rushing to sleep with you, because he wants to get to know you better? That's the real question.
Sisters, it makes no sense to think that your womb is a way to a man's heart. Look at the human body. The heart is located ABOVE the waist, so how can you secure his heart by going PAST it?
Sisters your back is NOT the foundation upon which your relationship should be built on!

 

My View: She laid down with him and has the nerve to get upset because he didn't call her back? What you expect? He got what he wanted out of her and he's probably long gone. No reason for him to stay because he already got his. She tried to play the game and got caught up like Usher; she has the nerve to feel slighted? Some people need to learn that when you play, you pay.



Jason Castro-Only A Mountain Lyrics

 

Unless you have been living under a rock, you know this song is blowing up airwaves. I love this song because it puts life in perspective. Yes, you will have mountains but they're just that, MOUNTAINS. Just this moment, I played this song 5x because it's that good. Just a little bit of faith can change it all, yes. It's having faith that when you ask God for help in time of need, He will move that mountain. Whatever you ask, you shall receive, it says in the Bible. So if I ask God to help me with this mountain of trouble I am facing, I can have faith that God will help me and that those mountains will fall in Jesus' name. Tell them to fall, it'll fall. I will make it a point to play this song whenever I feel down.

Captain Save A Hoe

 

Ok, I'm all for defending a woman when necessary but some of these men take it too far. Some men fight tooth & nail to defend a woman's right to be ratchet. I'm thinking to myself  "Are you serious? You know her conduct is foul and you're co-signing her? I wonder what she's giving you in return for your defense" No man defends a woman's right to be ratchet unless she's giving him something in return, and I think we all know what that is. The thing is, most women aren't attracted to Superhero type men, a lot of them openly admit this. They're playing him for her benefit. That's exactly who these women attract, men who are like themselves, deflective, defensive and attitudinal, they don't want logical/objective and strong men that lead and set agendas. IT UNDERMINES THEM WANTING TO BE IN CONTROL. That's why they fight tooth & nail to maintain their interest. The man taking a stand is an affront to them. But you know what? These women can have the simps. If that's what they want, let's give 'em what they want. All the strong men can go elsewhere where the woman respects his authority as the head and WANTS him to lead. Ladies, you can do no wrong! Whatever issue you have, I promise you, it is NOT your fault. It's on the man! He caused you grave pain and I'm here to save you from accountability, truth, shame and responsibility! *Cue superhero music*

 

The Road Of Least Resistance

 

It's a given there will be SOME resistance in a relationship but how much is too much? According to some women, a man is supposed to love her at her worst, when she's not returning the favor. Nobody has time for that! If one person is doing all the giving and receiving, there's a problem.

I Don't Know Why Some Women Think That A Man Will Put up with any kind of nonsense. The average man operates on a 3 strike rule. The woman gets out of order 3 times before he leaves. I, on the other hand have zero tolerance when it comes to relationships. If I see a woman is about drama upon first encounter, she will be left behind. What do I look like wasting her & my time. No ma'am. My peace of mind is far more valuable than loving a woman at her worst. This isn't like back in the day, where old-school couples understood COMMITTMENT. In today's world, people are quick to toss you over miniscule reasons, and you can't blame them. Everyone's tolerance level is different. Some people have a high and low tolerance for attitude, agression & hostility. Ladies must remember it's the guy who asks the question, NOT YOU! Unless you want to pop the question yourselves; In that case, have at it. Get back to me with a report of how it worked out for you. A man will always travel the road of least resistance. I know for me, this picture is a no-brainer. I'm going with the woman who will play her position and I play mine. I'm about building a legacy and you can't do that with someone that's not on the same page. THAT PART!

2 Kinds Of Interest

Marvelous Marina Woods

women::: there are two kinds of interest from a man.
#1 simple interest - calling, texting, spending time, talking, dating, etc.
#2 special interest - may look just like simple interest in some cases, but special interest has a couple of additional components. a- sacrifice. a man with special interest may sacrifice his own free time to spend with you. he may sacrifice, and call you even though he is a self described "anti - talk on the phone person".

b- goal or principle. whereas a man with simple interest may continue to show you interest, a man with special interest demonstrates his interest with a goal in mind. he dates you with a goal of marriage as the stated end. simple interest men often date a woman and speak about marriage with the ol’ "maybe one day" line. the special interest man sees you as ‘A WIFE’ and uses contact with you to determine if you are ‘HIS WIFE’.

90% of ya’ll that are getting the simple interest man. His interest is copyable, and can be applied to any woman, anywhere. the simple interest guy IS NOT trying to sacrifice, and tailor his contact with you for your benefit. he says "why go through all of that, I can just pick someone else".

 

My View: This makes sense. The level of interest a man has in a woman determines how far he will go to make something happen. If a man really wants to be with a woman, he will move heaven & earth to make it happen, and she will respond in favor. If there's little or no interest, a man will come up with every excuse in the book not to spend time with the woman. In that case, she can't be upset because in so many words, he's telling her she's not worthy of his time. You can't force someone to be with you, they have to make that decision themselves. Let's be honest, a good man is hard to find. Even more difficult for a woman is to find a good man that will sacrifice his time to be with her. THOSE men aren't to be trifled with.

 



What Are You Worth?

Marvelous Marina Woods
WHAT ARE YOU WORTH?
Seeing that marriage is what dating Christians ultimately seek, why not make marriage the centerpiece of dating, without all the ties? In the Bible, exclusivity before marriage was granted with a price. When Jacob told Laban that he wanted to marry his daughter Rachel, they agreed on a price before she was set-aside for him. Today, with our boyfriend and girlfriend culture, exclusivity costs nothing and is given freely therefore it means next to nothing, especially to men. It is Biblical for a man to collect his savings, buy a diamond and offer it to a woman as a sacrifice and a promise to marry her. No matter what our society says, the Bible does NOT support the process of women setting themselves aside exclusively before a sacrificial offering has been made. Imagine Jacob asking Laban to marry Rachel without a sacrificial demonstration of his love. Jacob worked 7 years for the hand of Rachel. How much are you worth?

My View: Working 7 years to get your desired man/woman? Nobody has time for that. What people you know that are willing to put in that much work for someone who's probably not worth it? I rest my case. I could see putting in work for someone you're genuinely interested in but even that wears off fast. I understand you're supposed to take your time in relationships because we're talking about a lifetime committment; you're not supposed to rush into a relationship with the first person that has a pulse. As the old saying goes, all that glitters isn't gold. Most people focus on the external rather than the internal which is what gets people jammed up. Patience IS NOT a virtue for many folks, and in a way I can't blame them. Nobody should have to jump through hoops for someone, but at the same time you shouldn't rush into a relationship without doing your due diligence. You gotta find that balance between action and caution. If you have a good feeling about someone, full speed ahead. The slightest doubt you have about someone is for a reason, it's to let you know something's not right. Today, very few people are patient enough to take their time to get to know someone. If you told them how in the Bible, Jacob had to put in 7 years work before he could marry Rachel, most people would look at you with a screw face as to say: "7 years? You have to be kidding me. I'm not waiting that long. If (s)he can't recognize a good thing offtop, I'm not waiting around for them." Someone who knows their worth WILL NOT settle for the first person who comes along.

 

 



What You Don't/Won't Do

Nojma Reflects

22 hours ago

Keep saying what you don't do...at your own risk...

Keep saying:

"I don't submit"
"I don't support"
"I don't cook"
"I don't need you to do anything for me"
"I don't assist in building....you should already be fully built and operational when we meet"
"I don't________(fill in the blank)

I'm just saying.....the more you say "I don't".......it lessens your chance of saying "I do"....in regards to being a WIFE.

 

 

My View: Like I stated in a previous blog commentary, what you won't do, someone else will. True, you have the right to say what you won't do, but someone also has the right to keep it moving on you and find someone who will. Choosing wisely is key. If you know someone's not up to snuff, why are you going to choose them? That's silly. You're willingly throwing yourself into the lion's den when you choose someone that's blunt in telling you they won't do this, that and the third for you. It's hard for me to feel bad for those who find themselves in these kinds of relationships. They told you what they weren't going to do and you didn't take them at their words. I'm reminded of a quote by Maya Angelou: When someone tells/shows you who they are, believe them. She wasn't lying because people will tell you who they are by their conduct, and it's up to you to decide if you can overlook that and try to build something with them, or you need to serve them their walking papers. Me, if someone shows me who they are, I believe them. Why wouldn't I? They let me know offtop how grimy they are so why would I fool with them? They could do me dirty and when I check them, they can say "You knew how I was before you met me." And you know what, they would be right because they showed me their true colors and I didn't listen. For every I Don't, there's an I Will. Just something for people to think about.