Call & Response

Today's commentary is going to be a little different. From time to time I'll do call and response segments where I issue random call outs most people are likely to say and post my response. This should be fun so without further ado, let's go.

1. Woman: I want a Barack & Michelle relationship!

Me: You're a hoe, you'll never have a Barack & Michelle relationship because you'll always be viewed as a piece of meat to most men.

2. I Want The Truth

Me: Most people want the truth, until they get it and catch feelings because it wasn't watered down.

3. If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best

Me: Try that on someone with a GED because no discerned (wo)man is going for that.

4. I'm A Good Man/Woman

Me: Keep Telling Yourself That. That's what most people say when they want to compensate for their flaws.

5. I want a man/woman that will let me rip & run the streets, talk crazy to him/her and not control me.

Me: Basically you want a spineless mate because you can't handle someone that will put you in your place if you get out of order.

6. I'm A Queen

Me: Since when did queens become ratchet? Start acting belligerent. If that's a queen, then I don't want one.

7. Behind every good man is a good woman and behind every bad woman is a bad man

Me: Why is it that when a man is great, a great woman is behind him but when the man is foul, it's all on him?

8. Free My N***a (insert name here)

Me: What did he do? Response: Shot 12 people (all but 1 died) and raped 3 children in the hood. Oh...throw him UNDER the jail.

9. A sugarcoated truth is not the truth, it's a falsity.

Me: True Talk, people want to put their own truth on things instead of taking truth as it comes.

10. Not all people are this, that & the third

Me: When you have a majority who display contrary conduct, that's what you are judged on. It's not right, but that's what it is.

Prayer Changes Things?

 I hear "prayer changes things" and I see on facebook people asking for mass prayers for their families or situations. But if the situation doesn't work out the way you wanted to, does that mean the prayers didn't work? Or if the situation was meant to be then why ask for the prayers in the first place, and what does that say about prayers in general?

I've wondered this myself. If someone's living right and they're obedient, why wouldn't God respond favorably to their request? Doesn't make sense. The only answer I can come up with is this: There is a way to pray so that you know God hears you and has already answered your prayers. Intercessory Prayer can only work if it's in line with God's plans and his law. No is NEVER an option when it comes to getting your prayers answered by God; otherwise, what's the point of even praying? Doesn't make sense to pray and you don't get a favorable response. The only prayers that don't get answered are ones wishing harm on others (of course God wouldn't answer your prayers wishing harm on another). For example, you can't deliberately sin and expect God to answer your prayer. Naw chile it doesn't work like that. Sinful living short circuits answered prayer. It's not enough just to do the right things in the right order but you also have to make sure you're living right. Even if you foul up one time, that could have an effect.

One other thing, people need to see proof of God's healing power. If you've struggled with an illness or disability for years and you know it's God's will for you to be healed, you shouldn't have to wait until you get to heaven to be made whole. You get healed in this lifetime so people can see proof of God's healing power. Otherwise, it's futile to pray for a miracle or healing only to struggle with it for life, THEN you're made whole in heaven. By that logic, people have reason to doubt whether God heals (I don't doubt God's power, btw) because they didn't see real-time evidence.

JAMIE FOXX SNUBS DYING DAD - The National Enquirer

JAMIE FOXX SNUBS DYING DAD - The National Enquirer

Like the saying goes, hurt people hurt people. It's no excuse but that's the truth. According to the story, Jamie's parents abandoned him as a child and now that Jamie is doing well for himself, he snubs his dying father out of spite. Honestly, I couldn't see myself snubbing my dying father even if he did abandon me (which he didn't). If that were me, I'd give him a chance to explain himself. Who knows? Jamie's dad may regret his decision and wants to make it right. For Jamie not to give his pops a chance to explain himself is foul, especially if he's trying to make amends. Holding grudges is not the move, it does more harm to you than the other person because they're keeping it moving. They could care less if they hurt you (sad but true), they're going on with their lives while you're looking crazy holding onto past hurt. I don't know the details of Jamie and his father's relationship but it must've been bad for him to snub his dying father. Hopefully, Jamie can find it in his heart to forgive his father and move on. Nothing worse than refusing to patch things up with a dying loved one, only for them to leave this world. As time goes on, you have thoughts of should've, would've, and could've, but by then it's too late because (s)he is already gone. I've got prayers I want answered so I can't hold grudges against anyone, I let it go and put it in God's hands. From that point, it's on him. Besides, I've had a lot of hurtful things said and done to me, but I've let it go and by letting it go, it's not that serious to me. I live by the old adage, you reap what you sow. If you sow hurt towards others, you will reap it 10fold. If I was Jamie, I'd hear his father out and if he's really remorseful for what he did, great. We can build from there. That's what I would do, but I'm not Jamie so...he has to do what's best for him. I just think it would be said if his father died without them patching up their feud.

Watered Down Truth

The truth doesn't have to conform to us, we have to conform to the truth; no matter what form it comes. Truth is designed to open our eyes to another perspective, another way of life. The problem is when people try to put their own "truth" over what's already been established. When you sugarcoat the truth, you are taking away its effect because you think it may hurt. Yes, the truth hurts but that's what it's supposed to do: cut deep so you can get it together. The truth gets right to the point whereas constructive criticism is given to help you improve. There are times where constructive criticism is needed and there are times where you just need to tell it like it is (with respect and love, of course). When I was coming up, my parents cut no corners. They told me the truth and although it hurt at times, it was done from a place of love. This approach helped me become the man I am today and has saved me unnecessary turmoil. I'm starting to believe that truth is repulsive to many people; they want candycoated excursions instead of raw truth delivered with respect. Now, you can tell it like it is without being rude and by doing so, the other person is more apt to receive it better. If you're telling the truth and being a jerk in the process, that person will either turn a blind eye to you or retaliate. Nobody likes to be talked down to. Many times, people will lie to spare someone's feelings because they don't want to hurt that person. In a way, that's commendable BUT...they will be disappointed that someone didn't care enough to tell them the real. I will say this, some women feel that a man who tells the woman the truth about herself hates women, is gay or she comes up with insane deflection rhetoric to take the focus off of what she needs to fix. Some men deflect too, but not to the degree of women.

Due Diligence

Nojma Reflects

When a man is looking at potential wife, he is interested in how she "works her mind" above anything else. While he understands that in her womb is where his legacy will be cultivated, he also understands that in her MIND is where his legacy will be conceived. A wise man would never trust his seed with a foolish woman, because he knows that to secure a studious woman is to secure his future. Brothers when you place your seed in the womb of an unqualified woman.....what you are really doing is condemning your legacy. Really study a woman before you allow her to carry your future.

My View: As usual, I agree with Nojma on this one. A real man looks deeper within a woman if he wants to build something with her. It takes a lot for a man to trust his woman but when he does, you know it's real. A wise man wouldn't trust his seed with a foul woman because you know why? Giving your best to the wrong person creates nothing but problems. This is why baby mamas are so prevalent in society because some men  are concerned with "hitting it" rather than spending time getting to know a woman. This is my approach for a relationship, get to KNOW her before going further. If I'm going to have children with her, I want to know she's going to be the best mother possible to my children. In order to do that, I must do my due diligence. If more men did their homework on the women they meet, there wouldn't be failed relationships and single parent families. It takes two parents in order to raise a productive, well-adjusted child.

Be A Woman: By Trina Rogers

Trina BabyTee Rogers

Wednesday

Woman came from man. Not the other way around. Women have always been the backbone of the man's struggle, in one way or another, positive or negative. She can mold his imagination, shape his strengths, enlighten his desires and illuminate his destiny. She can also dismantle his hope, eradicate his character, extinguish his passion and annihilate his future. What does it mean to be "HIS" woman? What is her part in this evolutionary journey that is "two becoming one"? It is complex in its simplicity and simple in its complexity. Meaning its hard if you make it that way!

THE SIMPLE--Women hold the key to life in their bodies, this is true. Yet the body is controlled by the mind. So in essence, the mind is what holds the key to life. Clear thinking, goal-oriented, positive attitudes and a servant-filled heart create the power in women to maintain healthy relationships, long-lasting marriages and well-educated, well-rounded future generations. Let the "MAN" be the man. He has been doing it longer than women have attempted to do it (on their own, don't need no man, etc.). And frankly, they are damn good at it! Love him for being a man to you, for you, because of you. He can and will take care of everything you want and need. LET HIM! He has been trained to do it since birth. ACKNOWLEDGE HIM! He wants to protect you, provide for you and profess his love for you! HONOR HIM! Giving him his rightful place in this world as your King can only benefit everyone around him, including you!

THE COMPLEX-Women refuse to stay in their place and act like women. Character is revealed not when others are around, but when you are alone. Being over-bearing, controlling, domineering, and abusive in public doesn't make you right or appealing to anyone. Especially men! Be alone with yourself once in a while and replay the behavior that was displayed when you were rejected by someone. How bad did it hurt? Tell the truth! Lying to yourself is worse than lying to someone you love. During a time of solitude, women need to examine themselves and learn who they are and what qualities they possess that they wouldn't be attracted to. Get rid of them! Be honest, loving, caring, humble, reassuring to yourself first. Allow the healing process from the past to subside completely and begin again. You weren't made to do it all. You can't! It's not a rewarding position to be in. Women were made to be loved by a man. Why would any man want to love you when you act more masculine than him? Behaving like the woman you are destined to be, one adored by a man, is the most exhilarating feeling in the universe. A man will recognize this as well. Let go of all the bad advice, girl-talk, male-bashing and derogatory and demeaning ideals you have been brain-washed with and do the simplest thing you can ever do. Shut up, sit down, cross your legs (for once), sit up straight, smile and simply be a woman! His woman!

My View: I have no words for this because it was that good. Everything written is synonymous with what I believe. Let's just say that some women need to print this out and paste it in their car, on the refrigerator and in their bedroom on the dresser; basically anywhere where they can read it so it can embed in their system.

One Size Fits All

Is the way men & women approach each other based on dress, appearance and the way she carries herself? Or do I feel men & women have a one size fits all mindset when it comes to getting to know the opposite sex? Men and women are different so what may work for one, won't work for another. You can't use the same approach for every person because you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Each person has a different set of expectations (as they should) for how they want to be treated. For example, a brother from the inner city of Miami could not approach Michelle Obama sideways; No, he would have to tailor his approach according to how she carries herself. If the woman looked like Nicki Minaj, he would get farther because he could identify with her background (grew up in the hood, hard life, etc.). Some men do have a one size fits all approach when it comes to women; they believe all women are the same. Women are the same according to gender but different in terms of personality, life experience, etc. Men tailor their approach according to the kind of woman they want. If he wants a freak, he'll talk dirty to her because that's what she responds to. If it's a high class woman like Michelle Obama, he comes at her in a different way. You can't use the same approach for all women. You can have a professional woman who has her stuff together and some men will come at her sideways; that's because some men don't respect themselves so it can't be expected for them to respect anyone else.