Speaking The Truth

Real Christians know they will be persecuted for speaking the truth. The Bible gives several instances where God's disciples faced persecution for standing up for righteousness. As God's Child, his people are called to stand for righteousness even if it means they will be called intolerant or lose popularity. If you are a friend of the world, you are an enemy of God because your loyalties are split between trying to please God and man. You can't please God and man because both will give contradictory demands. Christians have to decide who's more important: God, or the world. If a Christian is trying to please God, (s)he is called to uphold godly principles regardless of cost. That's the problem, some Christians are trying to fit in with the world because they are afraid of being unpopular. Get them behind closed doors and they talk a big game about standing for what's right, but when their beliefs are put to the test, they tuck tail and run because they can't take that opposition. While I want to be liked, I want to be liked for the right reasons but I'm aware that not everyone will like me and that's ok. It's a blessing some people don't like me because like the adage goes, "You are the company you keep". What does it profit if a man gains the world and loses his soul? It's easier said than done, but I'm encouraged when I'm persecuted for speaking truth because that lets me know I'm doing something right; I'm making devils uncomfortable. I care nothing about who's slighted! That's a mark of a great leader, someone who sticks to their guns even in the face of opposition. If Martin Luther King, Marcus Garvey, Barack Obama and other influential leaders cowered in opposition, this nation wouldn't be where it is today. Sometimes, you will lose popularity but if so, oh well. The right people will remain in your corner.

You Sure You Don't Need A Man To Raise Your Children?

Nojma Reflects

Friday

To all the women who say "I don't need a man to raise my children."

I say this: You needed a man to help MAKE the child right? So you need a man to help RAISE your child. I mean we have to get out what we think we don't "NEED", because like I stated we need each other to PROCREATE life, a sperm can't do anything without an egg and vice versa.

What message are you sending to your daughters if they hear their mother say she doesn't need a man to raise her children? So are you OK with your daughters being Baby Mama's? What message does that send to your son? If he grows up to be the type of man who abandons his seed, who gave him that initial thought? Ultimately, you are teaching your children regardless of the gender that a man is not a vital part of the family dynamic, which is not true.

Now if you feel that way because of a choice you made, and you are dealing with hurt and pain, then say that and we can work on healing. But don't be arrogant and say that you don't need a man to help raise your children when you needed him to make those children. What about what the children need? Don't their needs matter the MOST?

Why do some of us INSIST on wearing Single Motherhood like a badge of honor and pass this warped message to our daughters like it's their inheritance?

I saw a quote posted here on facebook that said the following: "Where there is a strong woman, there is a strong man or no man at all!"

Why is the "or no man at all" included? To promote this deluded image of strength. We are much stronger TOGETHER than we can ever be apart. If you think that being "strong" means that you can raise your child alone, then what you are really doing is exercising a major weakness in yourself. Let's redefine our definition of "strength" and build stronger families.

It never fails, some women scream about not needing a man to raise their children but who's the first one they call when the children are getting beside themselves? DAD. Who's the first one she calls when her kids need school clothes because she ran short on money for the month? DAD. Ok then, I rest my case. Men and women need each other. I'm aware that there are women who are doing it by themselves because of the father's lack of involvement (I salute all single mothers who through NO FAULT OF HER OWN are raising children solo). The body can't operate without a heart because the heart supplies the body with blood and oxygen so you can stay alive. Let the body tell the heart, "I don't need you" and see how that works out. Just like the body is stronger as a whole, men and women raising children together are stronger because if one is weak, the other is strong. The stronger one can be the extra set of eyes just in case something tries to sneak up on him.

Giving Your All

I'm divided on this one because while I somewhat agree with this caption, I also agree that you give your all to someone who's deserving. If someone's not deserving of your best, why would you keep giving them your all? In hopes that they will change? That may or may not work depending on the man. The only way I could see myself abiding by this statement is if she has proven herself worthy of such special treatment; otherwise we reciprocate: I do for her, she does for me and so on. There's nothing like taking turns blessing each other. If this holds true, then men could say a woman who asks for everything, should get nothing. It's just a thought. This reminds me of a disorder titled RED (Royal Entitlement Disorder) [coined by Hondo Solomon]. RED is a condition where some women come up with these sayings in order to justify a man doing for them while many don't have to reciprocate. Again, the only woman a man should go hard for is someone that WANTS to please him. If a man has a good woman that does right by him AND doesn't ask for much, then I can justify her deserving everything because she makes sure he's on point and the least he can do is show her appreciation. It's not everyday an angel comes into one's life. Usually, some women who utter captions like this pic have entitlement issues and those are the ones men need to be cautious of. To invest more in someone that's not reciprocating is called simping. Just like men can be simps, so can some women.

Using Your Talent(s)

Everyone has at least one talent, something they're good at. Some people have multiple talents so for them, they have to devote equal time to each talent so it won't go to waste. What burns me up is people that have talents and DON'T USE THEM. How can anyone sit on their talent and not use it? That's silly to me. When God gives you gifts, you're supposed to use them for his glory. For example, my gift is writing so that's why I set up this blog website so I can give my stance on various issues. Ever since I built my blog website, it's 5300+ page views and counting and I've had it a year! The vision I have for my blog website is to market it for $$$ once I get my page views up to 10,000 or more. So far I'm well on my way to the 10,000 mark. If you don't use your talent, it will go to waste or it will be passed on to your child(ren) for them to utilize to the fullest. I understand that some people may not want to market their talent for $$$ and that's ok; some people use their talent as a hobby. Maybe some people don't use their talent because they're scared of rejection, others don't use their talent because they don't know how to effectively market their gift for profit, who knows. All I know is if I had multiple talents and didn't use them, I'm doing myself a disservice because I didn't tap into what God has blessed me with. I tell God periodically: When I stand before Him, I hope I don't have a single talent left because I used every ability for your glory. The people who don't use their talent(s) usually become envious of those who are using their talent(s) and profiting off their skill. Well, if they had the same confidence in their skills, they would be successful with their talent(s). Proverbs 18:16, NKJV- A man’s gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men.

Simping vs. Genuine Interest

There's no such thing as simping for a woman sometimes, there is no such thing as simping for the right woman. There's a big difference in doing things for your lady because she's doing for you, and simping. If you are disrespecting yourself as a man, it's simping. If you're investing more in her than she is in you, you are simping. If you treat her like she is your queen but you're not treated like her king, but a peasant, you're simping. I said it once, I'll say it again, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH TAKING CARE OF SOMEONE WHO TAKES CARE OF "YOU" You have to be stupid to want to get rid of a woman who actually wants to make you happy and that's real. And ladies you are equally stupid to want a man beneath you and got the nerve to call yourself a strong woman. A queen is NOTHING without her King. Why do some people go hard for those who aren't checking for them? That's silly to me. If I'm interested in a woman, don't you think it would make more sense to seek out someone who's equally interested? Most men don't think that way, they pull out all the stops on women that could care less about them and that's what leads some men into bitterness. As stated in a previous commentary, many women seek out men who offer them the world when she doesn't have a passport. That's their perogative but they wouldn't run that on discerned men because a discerned man will flip the script on a woman in a second. Someone who knows their worth will ALWAYS want to know what (s)he is bringing to the table. Some people forget that relationships go both ways, BOTH parties give & take. If one person is doing all the giving and taking, something's wrong. Some of these relationship mindsets confirm my belief that I won't be missing out if I don't want a relationship. Just like a prospective man has to prove himself worthy of a special lady, she has to prove herself worthy of queen treatment. Anything less is uncivilized.

Tighten Up Men, Pt. 2

Black American men have to get ourselves together. Black men becoming successful in many different arenas is the only thing black American women will submit to, just like every American woman. Black American women will sell their souls to the devil to be recognized for anything, even if it is for their sexuality or their ability to look like fools. It's a shame how desperate some Black American women are. Educated black men can run America if we stop putting all of our focus on Black American women's personal issues.

Tighten Up Men

If you're a man, but you are making excuses to do things that a man should do, then what you're going through should happen to you because you would rather exchange your position to think & be like a little boy. No man should never sacrifice his freedom to think, or his life to be a fool! I hate when men make excuses for why they can't do this or that so that is why I chose this route. What a clown! Do you not realize that when you chase a certain lifestyle, you are condemning yourself for the worst? Look at what it has done for you, think about where has it gotten so far. 1 Corinthians 13:11 says "When I was a child, I spoke and reasoned as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things" That verse should be a wake-up call to all men to put away childish antics. I can't stand to see a grown man acting like a child; really. If a man talks about another man behind his back, not only is that feminine but childish as well because a man will bring his beef directly to another man's face, not gossip like a female. He might as well go to the strip club and slide down a pole. If a man is making excuses for his behavior such as "she made me do it" or "everyone else is doing it" then he needs to check the company he's rolling with because as the old adage goes, "You are the company you keep" Even though a man may roll with foul people, he should have his own mind NOT to go along with what everyone else is doing. Like our parents used to say when they asked us why we did something and our response was "Everyone else is doing it": If everyone jumped off the cliff would you do it too? For men that have children, they should be extra careful because their children will follow his example, NOT  his words.