Absent For The Struggle, Present For The Blessing

Success is nothing without someone to share it with. Therein lies the problem, the person showing interest in you is with you because you're doing well for yourself but take away the fame & fortune, also the perks and watch those so-called friends and your so-called s/o scatter like roaches. Everybody should want someone who has drive but don't check for somebody who's already made it just so you can get half of everything THEY slaved for when you weren't there during the struggle. Some men and women are good for that, absent for the struggle but want to share in the blessings. She wants to commandeer the ship when she didn't help build the ark.  Not long ago,  I came across a Facebook status that went something to this effect: A husband & wife are married and the husband has a successful business that the wife helped build. Should she get half if they divorce? My response was that if she helped him become successful in his business, yes she deserves half. She played a part in his blessing so by right, he should give her half. If he was already established in his business and she came on board asking for half, then she shouldn't get one dime. If you have someone that has been with you since Day 1, you keep that person on your team because it's hard to find REAL friends. Everybody's checking for you when the bottles are popping and everything's sweet, but when you hit a rough patch that's when you find out who your true friends are. It's amazing that people can be THAT flaw to ignore you when you're struggling but when you become successful, they flock to you like nothing happened. This is why successful people should keep their circle small because not everyone who comes into your life is for you. I know where I'm going in life and each day I pray that God will put the right people in my life to help me reach my dream(s). Having the right people in my corner ensures they aren't there for celebration, but they truly want to see me shine. THOSE are the people I cherish and will keep on my team. A successful future is in the works and I'm so close to making it, I can taste it. In making it, I will watch the people in my corner. You have to because there are wolves in sheep's clothing.

Who You Are vs. Who You Become

People say love me and accept me as I am. BUT what if what you are isn't what you could be? What if they want to love you up to your potential? Are you going to turn that down? Shouldn't a person love who you could be also? I think real love encompasses who you are now AND what you could be with changes that benefit everyone. Yes, a person should love you for who you are but if they see greatness in you, you would be cheating yourself and him/her but refusing to allow that person to love you. I understand loving somebody for who they are based on personality & core values but if you're like many people, you want someone that will help you grow into the person you're called to be. People want someone that will be an asset and not a liability. Being an asset involves pushing someone toward their destiny, being an asset is correcting your spouse in love because you care enough about their well-being to want the best for them and vice versa. If I'm with a woman, my desire is to be the best man I can be for myself and my woman. This can't happen if I refuse her correction. Even if many people never admit it, everyone wants a real man or woman on their team. Somebody that will admonish, yet continue showing them love as they evolve into the (wo)man they're supposed to be. If someone refuses to let you love them based on who they could become, you need to rid yourself of them for they showed you their true colors. They showed you they aren't committed to growth, even if it's for their benefit. Who wants someone like that? Not me and other likeminded folks. Growing up, our parents used to admonish us not only for wrongdoing but because they wanted the best for us. When you were little and your parents corrected you, you thought they were being mean but now that you're older, you see their wisdom. Your parents have been down the same road you're traveling so what's new to you isn't a surprise to them. I will cherish those in my life who love me enough to admonish me to my potential. By loving & accepting someone as they are up to their potential, you take pride in knowing they have evolved into the person they were meant to be. They have you to thank for it.

Baby Boy Prayer

Dear Lord,

Please forgive us for all our sins we have brought upon us. And look down upon us with forgiveness for all our sins we will have in the future. I know you understand that brothers ain’t perfect, but we try Lord. We try to keep our heads up in bad times. This is a bad time. Show us the way. And if you can’t show us the way, then forgive us for being lost.

This prayer was from the movie Baby Boy starring Tyrese Gibson and Omar Gooding. I think it's a great prayer because it's asking for forgiveness before you sin. When you look deeper, this prayer can also mean you want forgiveness for deliberate sin (the kind you have no remorse for and commit just because). If you sin with no remorse, then I don't know if you should pray this kind of prayer. God knows our intentions long before we act on them so in a sense, asking him to look down on us for forgiveness for the sins we will have in the future is kind of a protective covering because God won't be surprised when you foul up; after all, he made us. It's almost like the Fall Of Man, God knew Adam & Eve would eat the forbidden fruit and already had a backup plan just in case: Sending Jesus to die on the cross for us. That's what I got from the Baby Boy prayer, a prayer of advance forgiveness.

Lame Is...

-Lame Is When a woman expects a man to do this, that and the third for her but she's not bringing anything to the table.
-Lame is when a man feels that just because he's bringing the money home, he can do what he wants with no accountability.
-Lame is when women get passes for living with their parents until 25 or 30 but it's frowned upon for a man to do the same (even if he's saving up for his own place)
-Lame is when you ask someone about their finances on the first date. Red flags all across the board. Asking about finances so soon signals you're checking for someone's pockets, NOT THEM.
-Lame is when a woman expects a man to deal with her attitude/baggage when she won't tolerate one iota of his nonsense.
-Lame is when you require someone to give you the world when you don't even have a passport.
-Lame is when a mother puts her man over her children. WTH? Your kids were there before him.
-Lame is when you're in a relationship and want to live like your single. Newsflash: You lose all freedom when you get into a relationship.
-Lame is wearing stripper shoes and expecting not to be judged.
-Lame is buying a new car every year when your car runs good AND IS PAID OFF.
-Lame is booty dancing in the club on Saturday night and in church the next morning praising God like the mess ain't wrong. Really? 
-Lame is when you ridicule someone for a disability. I don't play that AT ALL and will check it on the spot.
-Lame is ignoring someone back in school but when you see them successful, you're checking for them. Exit stage left (or right, but either way EXIT)
-Lame is a woman who can't, doesn't, won't or has no desire to learn how to cook. The old adage is true ladies, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
-Lame is when people expect Obama to fix in 4 years what Bush screwed up in 8. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Obama inherited a weak economy when he stepped in office. People think Romney/Ryan gonna go hard for the middle class and poor? Chile Please.
-Lame is thinking arguments are healthy in a relationship. They ARE NOT. Most people don't know how to argue without cussing & hollering, cheap shots, etc.
-Lame is women saying men are women haters, he's gay, hates his mother because a man has the courage to put a woman in her place, therefore he tells her in so many words she's full of crap.
-Lame is using deflective maneuvers to shift the focus off the intended target. 
-Lame is men who don't take care of their responsibilities.
-Lame is women who enable sorry men. I can understand helping a man get back on his feet but he should also be making moves on his own.
-Lame is when men and women complain about their no-good spouse but they knew or should have known they weren't compatible from the start.
-Lame is when you lay down with someone and have their child(ren), then say they're no good. WHAT DOES THAT MAKE YOU?
-Lame is when blacks ridicule black people who want to make something of themselves. The critical blacks take pride in being a goon.
-Lame is when women are attracted to thugs instead of stand-up brothers but get mad when a stand-up guy rejects her after leaving the thug who gone upside her head.
-Lame is men who all they look for in a woman is her big booty and cute face.
-Lame is rejecting the wisdom of your elders especially since they have been down the same road you're traveling. They can tell you what does & doesn't work.

Living For God vs. Satan

I don't care what kind of Christian you are, EVERY Christian has wondered if living for God is worth it. Those who say they haven't are lying. Everywhere you turn it seems like the wicked are doing better than God's people. Where they do that at? Christians are held to a higher standard but you would think that by living right, blessings would come down like rain (which they do) but some people have walked with God for years on end and have nothing to show for it. I read a tract that puts this into perspective: Working For God: The benefits & pay are low, but the retirement is out of this world. When I read that, I immediately confirmed my decision to stay close to God because although it seems like the wicked are prospering, they're not. The wicked are storing up their wealth for the righteous without realization, and they don't know it. Yes, life sucks but we live in a fallen world so that's to be expected. When you're living for Satan, he's already got you. When you're living for God, that's when you have a bull's-eye on you because the enemy will pull out all stops to get you to come over to his side. When you reject wisdom & correction constantly, you reach a point of no return which means you're on dangerous ground. I never want to reach the point of no return so that's why I have to stay soaked in the word. God's been too good to me for me to turn my back on him. Proverbs 2:22 says: Let the wicked be rooted out of the land. When you constantly reject correction & wisdom, you're considered wicked in God's eyes and will eventually be done away with.

All For One, One For All

I'm a firm believer that one person can mess it up for everyone. Read Genesis 3:1-24 for a good example. Adam and Eve were given dominion over the Garden Of Eden. They could eat of any tree except the forbidden fruit. God gave them STRICT instructions on what they could/could not enjoy and like many of us (myself included), they did the opposite. Adam & Eve's disobedience cost us a peaceful life. If Adam & Eve obeyed God, we would be living good right now. There wouldn't be disabilities, poverty, sickness & disease, unemployment, crime, etc. The Fall Of Man is a perfect example that one's decision affects everyone. Everyone likes to say "It's none of your business what I do" and that maybe true to a degree, but like it or not, everyone's decision(s) affects someone else, whether they like it or not. My mom used to tell me when I was younger when I would get upset because I couldn't get what I wanted. She said "It's not all about you". I can remember being in school and every time one kid messed up, the whole class suffered. At the time I didn't understand why but as I got older, I learned early on that when one kid does wrong, everyone gets punished based on that kid's transgression. I still think this way for the most part except for minor exceptions. It's not fair, but it's life. Maybe some people will think twice before they do crazy things. The business world works the same way: If an employee repeatedly violates HR, either HR will bring the hammer down or the supervisor makes a policy holding ALL his/her staff responsible for the action(s) of one or a few. This is to deter future offenses. Everything you say & do, affects someone else whether you like it or not.

Do For Self

Some men kill me when they say "I want a woman that'll take care of me" That woman existed in the 40's & 50's but today's modern woman isn't having it. A man should be able to take care himself and not be dependent on a woman to cook & clean for him. The older I get, the more I realize that a woman can't do anything for me I can't already do for myself. If I have laundry that needs to be done, I do it myself. If I'm hungry, I throw something together and keep it moving. Why depend on someone to do what you should be able to do for yourself? No one should be dependent on anyone for basic self-sufficiency. It never fails. What happened to men taking pride in being able to do for self? Now you have men that actually brag about how their woman takes care of them like his mother. As a man, yes I want a woman with some characteristics of my mother BUT she has to be her own person. I have one mother, I don't need another one. Honestly, I would be embarrassed to know that I was living with my wife and wasn't pulling my weight. Even if she says she doesn't mind, deep down she really does and it's just a matter of time before it comes out in a verbal boxing session. There's no honor in someone doing for you what you can do for yourself. Each person should bring their own unique personalities into a relationship so both parties can learn from each other. Equally ridiculous is women who say they want a man just like their father. WTW (What The What)? That sounds like incest to me for anyone who says they want their mate to be like their parents. True, their parents may show them what to look for in a mate (which I can understand) but to have a cookie-cutter version of your parents through your spouse is not the move, AT ALL. When two people are together, they should HELP each other, not TAKE care of each other. A better term would be to care for one another. One person isn't doing all the work but both parties are caring for one another. Being taken care of sounds like what our parents did when we were children/teens, but when you become an adult, you should know how to take care of yourself. I'm all for pampering my special lady (whoever she may be should I confirm I want a relationship) but I couldn't expect her to take care of me, nor should she expect me to do so & vice versa.