Keeping It Real: When You Do What I Want, When I Want & How I Want

Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY likes to parade themselves as being so real. Keeping it real has become so cliche in society that you can almost guarantee that the person who is supposedly keeping it real has skeletons showing otherwise. Look, if you are real like you claim then you don't have to broadcast it. It would show in your conduct, character and you wouldn't have to prove to anyone how real you are. Actions will always trump cliches every time. I'm tired of people saying how real they are, yet turn out to be fake. It's pretty easy to spot the true REAL people and those who are faking it until they make it. If you have to broadcast how real you are, 9 times out of 10 you're not. Being real is acting the same whether eyes are on you or not. Being real is practicing what you preach and lastly, being real is NOT catching feelings when someone doesn't do what you want. It's funny that if you do what people ask of you, you're considered real in their eyes but if you start saying no, they get upset and run you down. So I'm flaw because I won't do as you asked? That's your problem & not mine. If my realness is questioned because I won't move like you want on your timeframe then I guess I'm not real. Let me tell you something about being real. Real is being down for someone through sickness & health and for better or worse. Keeping It Real is not folding under pressure when odds are stacked against you and last but not least, keeping it real DOES NOT entail stipulations that if you don't do this, that and the third for me then you're fake. THAT is what keeping it real is all about. If it's one phrase that needs to be retired is Keeping It Real. Yes, do away with that phrase altogether because it's been abused beyond recognition. Who's really REAL in society? What I mean by that is who is truly real that doesn't feel the need to broadcast their realness to the world? I'll tell you....NOBODY.

Memorial Day

Let me take this time out to say thanks to all military men & women who have served, are serving and our fallen soldiers. You guys have much respect from me because of the highest sacrifice you have made in fighting for our country. You are the real stars in my view. The original intent of Memorial Day was to honor our fallen soldiers and military men & women who have served or are serving in the Marines, Navy, Army, Air Force & Coast Guard. I salute you. Memorial Day has been desecrated into nothing more than an excuse for people to have cookouts (BBQ) and have a day off from work. Since when did cookouts become a staple for Memorial Day? To my knowledge, cookouts were never a staple in Memorial Day history. At most, people packed a picnic and paid homage to fallen heroes. Now, Memorial Day is nothing more than a 3-day weekend of cookouts and a day off from work. Most people don't bother remembering the sacrifices our military men and women have made, let alone those of our fallen soldiers. I'm one of the few people that honors Memorial Day like it was intended; to pay homage to those in uniform. You can have cookouts any time of the year but Memorial Day should be the one day where you honor those who have went before you. I have family on both parents side that have served/are serving in the military and I thank them every chance I get for their sacrifice. I'll remember touring a military base in Norfolk, VA for the rest of my life because until then, I've never seen a live military base. I got to meet several personnel, see a barrack that my uncle and aunt stayed in when they were serving and I saw a lot of combat planes and ships that are used in battle. People have forgotten about the significance of Memorial Day and that's sad. Most don't care or bother to learn but yet you can throw hotdogs and burgers on the grill for Memorial Day. This article explains how Memorial Day SHOULD be commemorated:
http://baltimore.about.com/b/2010/05/31/the-true-meaning-of-memorial-day.htm

Showing The Goodies For Christ?

I got a good laugh off this picture this morning. I got the idea for this blog topic from my dude Jerome Bolden who shared this on his facebook page. How can a woman expect a man to wife her if she's showing her goods for the world to see? As I was reading the comments, another person pointed out that she shows her goods in order to bring men to Christ. I've seen a lot of crazy comments on FB but that one took the cake. Really? Getting naked for Facebook and want to get wifed up? That's not going to happen because the first thing people are going to think is you're a stripper. If you want to lead people to Christ, that's not the way. You have to show genuine concern for others well-being and exemplify Christ in your daily conduct; doesn't mean you won't miss the mark (you will) but you should have consistent progress. I don't know what's worse..her comment or she ACTUALLY believed what she said. The truth of the matter is that no real man is going to respond to a woman getting naked for the Lord unless he has ulterior motives. At best, she will attract pervert attention and someone with bad intentions may try to do harm to her. The whole time she's showing her goodies, she's demanding respect but...how can a woman expect a man to respect her if she doesn't respect herself? That's like asking a thief to stop stealing but you make it so easy for him/her. If a woman wants respect from the opposite sex, she has to conduct herself in a worthy manner because a REAL man wants a respectful woman that he can take home to meet his parents, someone he wants to build a life with and someone that will have his back through thick & thin. I want to say the woman that shows her goodies for Christ was joking but honestly, she may be dead serious. If that's the case, then God help us all. The last thing a man is thinking about is Jesus when he sees female flesh, come on somebody.

Original Gangsters

Original Gangster is an elder gangster, someone who has made his mark in the streets mostly through criminality. This title usually describes someone who has lived the thug life since their teens or tweens. Many inner-city kids are raised by single moms that are already struggling to work full-time & go to school so they can better themselves and their child(ren). The only role models they see are the original gangsters. An original gangster is the highest ranking in the street/gang life. He's committed all kinds of criminal offenses ranging from drug trafficking to violent crime. Inner-city children see no wrong from him because he buys groceries, school clothes & pays the rent & transportation for the child(ren)'s mother. He's a father figure because he tells the children to respect their elders and parent(s) but at the same time, he's into the street life. I've watched many Gangland documentaries about legendary gangsters who have won fame & fortune from their city's ghetto criminal element and they share one commonality: In their later years, they regret that life because they realize the damage they inflicted on their community: the destruction they caused by the senseless violence and the Fallujah-like atmosphere they created in their 'hood. I respect OG's that quit the gangster life and want to do right by their community but at the same time, the damage is already done. The younger gangsters have no respect for the code & ethics that were laid down by those who came before them. Now, it's shoot first and ask questions later. Here's an example: Larry Hoover, the founder of the Chicago-based Gangster Disciples was well-known nationwide & in Chicago for his calculated, yet ruthless leadership style. Since he's been locked up, he's changed (hopefully the change was/is sincere) and the younger gangsters didn't appreciate it because they feel he's gotten soft. They wanted the old-school, shoot-em-up, calculating Larry Hoover and when he refused to go back to his old ways, they shot him. Since when did wanting to change your life become a crime? The original gangster that realized the error of his ways wants to right his wrong. If anything, he can teach these young brothers there is a better way and you don't have to make the same mistakes I did. Many ex-gang leaders are now mentoring at-risk teens so they don't go through what they (original gangster) did coming up. I think it's interesting how OG's are revered by inner-city youth for the flashy cars & clothes, the lovely lady on their arm and how they provide money for struggling mothers in the ghetto in exchange for overlooking their criminal activity.

Living Through Your Children

One thing that irks me is parents that try to live their dreams through their children. That's crazy because your child(ren) may have their own ambition and parents are going to hold their kids back so THEY (the parents) can relive their glory days? I hate that mess. You have fathers that push their sons hard in sports and want them to excel because deep down, he didn't excel like he wanted to in his youth so his son is his last shot of making it to the pros. Or how about mothers who enter their daughters in modeling and similar pageants so she can get rich & famous off her little girl's success. That mess gets my goat. If the time comes for me to have a child, I will push him or her according to their desire(s). I may give suggestions on what path they should take but ultimately it's on them. My advice is they will pursue their passion with all their might and most of all, they enjoy the hustle. Just because a parent couldn't cut it in high school does not give them the right to dictate their child(ren)'s lives. Those children will grow up someday & leave the nest. Once your children have left the nest, you can no longer dictate your path for your children because they will resist (and rightfully so). It's not a good look telling grown children what to do. They are married with their own family so parents need to cut the cord. Parents are always saying how they won't be with their children always and they need to stand on their own but when your kids get of age to where they can do for self, you don't want to let go. I know parents want the best for their children, that they don't want their children going through what they did at their age but there comes a point where you have to be secure in knowing you raised your children right and send them into the world to make their mark. That's what I plan on doing, should I have children.

Use Your Head

Warning: Extreme realness so if you are slighted, that's your problem & not mine. I tell it like it is. Samson was one of, if not the most powerful Biblical figures in the Bible. He was a man of enormous strength and influence. The source of his strength was his hair which was woven in locks and as long as that remained intact, he was unstoppable. Delilah, a well-known HO in Biblical times (yes, ho's did exist in Jesus' day) was offered 1100 pieces of silver to find out the source of Samson's strength. Samson did well by refusing to tell the first 3 times but eventually he gave in, Delilah summoned the Philistines and they did a number on Samson, then threw him in prison after gouging out his eyes. This clown (Samson) had everything going for him: anointed by God as a warrior and he let a TRICK get him caught up. Samson should've known Delilah didn't care about him; she wanted the 1100 pieces of silver. She came, saw & conquered. I can't speak for other men but for me, if I'm a man of great influence & power, there's no way I would let some foul woman jam me up ESPECIALLY if she was known to be grimy. That's stupid, but then again so are some men in society. Why are some men so doggone stupid? See a shapely woman and some of these men lose their minds...The catcalls, whistles, goo-goo gagas, salivating, etc. It makes me shake my head at these lames because 9 times out of 10, she's not studying those clowns. Women know what they're doing by tempting these men and these dudes fall for it every time. Show some hip & thigh, sexy smile and boom, she has him right where she wants him. I do not feel sorry for any man who gets caught up because if men would use their brain, they could avoid well-known grimy women but noooo....most men focus on her T&A rather than her character. All the curves in the world mean nothing if your character is funky. All I have to do is shake my head at some people by how they allow what's called "feminine wiles" to jam them up, then they look crazy. Nobody can have THAT much power over you. They're grown just like you are. Again, I'm the last of a dying breed in that while I do find shapely women attractive, I'm not going to break my neck trying to get with one.

Being Patient or Wasting Your Time?

This is a question I've been rolling around in my head for a while. How do you know when you're wasting your time or patiently waiting? When do you take action and when do you let things flow? Sometimes you know off top you're wasting your time and others, it's not so easy due to many variables involved. For me, how I know when I'm wasting my time is if 6 months have passed and my situation isn't changing for the better; in that case I get my hustle on and make it happen because if you wait too long, life can & will pass you by. For example, if you want to be debt free in 5 years and your job doesn't pay enough, are you going to stay there or look for something better so you can get to working on your goal? The intelligent person would look for a better job (or take on a 2nd job) so s(he) can achieve that goal. In most cases, it's all about timing. Things have to come together in perfect harmony for optimal success. Wasting time is not being proactive & being patient is when you are actively engaged toward the end result without rushing things. Being patient can also mean you're seeing progress, just not at the rate you want. Rarely does progress happen on our time table. Most times, progress and patience go hand in hand. From a Christian standpoint, you have two options: 1. Wait for a promised blessing or 2. Move to where the blessing could be. It takes steadfast faith to know what to do. I'm getting to the point where if opportunity knocks, I'm kicking the door down because I'm a firm believer that if a solution presents itself, take it and move on. No sense in holding out when you don't have to. You're in a relationship with somebody that's not right for you but you're patient with them in hopes they will tighten up. A year passes, then two, then 5 years. You realize you two aren't meant to be. Would you be wrong for letting them go? No. Everyone desires to be involved with someone that's on the same page financially, emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc. If someone doesn't want what you want, cut them loose. They're good for someone, just not you. I have provided 3 scenarios that illustrate there are times to be patient and there are times to get moving. As with everything else in life, it's up to the person. If someone's impatient and used to getting things quickfast, having to wait for change can be annoying but if you have a person that is willing to be proactive while being patient, then for them...patience won't be a problem.