Parenthood

Repost (Tera Carissa Hodges)

#Fathers if you love your children,

#1 choose mentally stable women as their mothers…preferably, they should be your wife first

#2 stay in your child’s life to be the healthy balance and adult advocate if need be. 

(Moms, the same goes for you, but I’m referencing a trending video right now). 

That video going viral of a mother #bullying her daughter, recording it, then cutting her hair is straight up child abuse.

It’s something she’ll never be able to live down because it’s out there now. 

The mother is so short sighted, did she consider the impact of such video if they girl ever applied for a #scholarship, a #job, etc.

I truly hope loved ones have intervened to have the girl removed and the mom investigated. 

This is one time, I would have supported the daughter standing up to her mother 

(read between the lines to get what I’m really saying and multiple times to defend herself.)

Enough is enough.

If you can’t get through to your child, perhaps there’s an issue YOU need to work on as a parent.

She’s accusing her daughter of being obsessed with looks but is recording herself with a beauty filter on. My guess is, #jealousy of a younger, prettier version of herself was also a motivating factor. 

And of course, the mother was substantially bigger physically than her daughter.

Rarely, do you see a parent picking on a child their equal or bigger than them. 

Abusers are not stupid. They pick on who they think they can win a fight with. 

We often hear of parents keeping a child in their place, but parents need to be kept in their place as well. 

It’s time out for parents trying to humiliate their kids and then wonder why they grow up to have low self-esteem, harm themselves, bully other people, stay in abusive romantic relationships or have nothing to do with them etc.

You reap what you sow.

I use to judge people who stayed in abusive romantic relationships until I began going through the process of becoming a therapist and realized so much of why people stay is rooted in what they were taught about love growing up…

“You know I’m only bullying you, hitting you, screaming at you, cursing you out, etc.” because I love you right?”

The video is an example of why I’m not quick to sympathy for older adults who complain about their adult children not coming around, not bringing their children/the parent’s grandkids around. 

If an adult is otherwise stable in other areas of their life (a functioning, healthy, productive adult) and they are avoiding their parent, there’s a reason why the parent is not telling. 

It’s also why I advocate, the first thing to do if you’re escaping a #toxicfamily dynamic is get your #money together.

The #1 thing that keeps people tied to abusive situations (including toxic relatives), is needing the abuser financially. 

Adding on to what she said, men need to read #1 because it would save them a lot of baby mama drama. If a man doesn't see a woman as a future mother, he shouldn't lay down with her. Then again, most men think with their second head instead of the one attached to their shoulders.