Mar 2, 2021

For Better Or Worse=How Worse?

For Better Or Worse seems to be the hallmark of marriage. When I hear that term, I think of weathering the fiery storms that are inevitable: Unemployment, sickness, loss/grief of a loved one, arguments, etc. My question is this: Is a spouse obligated to remain with their disabled spouse through mistreatment? Before one spouse became disabled, they showed their behinds with disrespect/mistreatment, physical/verbal abuse, poor financial mgmt., and so on. Everyone has their breaking point, and no one wants to be with someone they can't stand. Back to the question, is a spouse obligated to remain with their disabled spouse for the sake of vows? It depends on the person. Some people will stay long enough for their spouse to get healthy & leave, others will honor their vows and care for their spouse even if the spouse did dog them, some will leave without a second thought. For those who will honor their vows and care for their spouse even if their spouse didn't do right by them, I salute you because that takes a level of forgiveness that some people aren't capable of, even the most devout Christians. Your spouse has dogged you, been physically/verbally abusive, mishandled the household finances, and you still stand by them when they're down. Personally, the disabled person is paying for their sin because when you do wrong, wrong follows you in life. The people you mistreat could be the people you'll need later in life, so it's important to do right by everybody.

For those who would leave without a second thought, it's not my place to judge because everyone has different tolerance levels. Some people won't put up with nonsense (which is their right), others will. At the very least, these people would make arrangements for their disabled spouse to be put in assisted living before they move on with their lives. This wouldn't be wrong because at least the spouse would put things in place for their spouse before they move on without them. Some spouses who have been mistreated prior to their spouse becoming disabled would be upset to the point where they would no longer care about their spouse's welfare, they would leave and not look back.

Then there are those who would nurture their spouse back to health before they leave. This wouldn't be wrong because they stood by their spouse long enough for them to get healthy before they exit. Spouses who fit this category have done their duty and now they can move on without their toxic spouse because chances are, the toxic spouse hasn't realized the error of their ways so there's no point staying around hoping they'll change.

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