Family doesn't have the same meaning it used to, and let me explain why: When a loved one is disabled, it's the immediate family that's affected because they have to alter their lives to care for their disabled loved one. When the person was healthy, they were the ones who went to see their family, but when that loved one is down, that loved one can't get any of their extended family to see about them. When the person dies, here come the fake tears about how (s)he was loved and so on. "I miss you, R.I.P., gone but never forgotten" Y'all know the fake tears shed at funerals. I'm over it. The only ones with the right to grieve are the Day 1's, those who stood by the sick loved one until (s)he took that final breath. Everyone else with the fake love, choke on it. If you weren't there for that person through their disability until they passed, you have no right to grieve.
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