Strawberry Letter: Open Marriage

Dear Shirley Strawberry and Steve, 

I am a successful, mature, 24 year old woman with a very optimistic view on life. Some have used the words naive to describe my personality, however I disagree. I am open to the idea of having an open (minus the introduction of other men) marriage. We have rules set in place, no men, no sleepovers, no double takes, and we always protect ourselves. With all this said, is it naive of me to think that an open or sexually free relationship will work? I believe that it can, due to the fact that for some couples it can be a fun and exciting experience. For some, it may bring a couple closer together or give them the sexually satisfying life that they BOTH want and need. Help me to understand if what it is I am doing is wrong for others to disagree so much so with the decisions I have and will continue to make. Personally, I will not live my life based on others opinions but I would like the opinion of a neutral, third (and maybe fourth) party. Thank you for all your comments and advice. 

One thing about these Strawberry Letters is whenever the writers ask for advice, they always get what they ask for. This letter is no different, so with that said, here goes. Naive isn't the word I'd use to describe her desire for an open marriage, more like foolish. First, she's out of her ever-loving mind to think an open marriage is going to work. I say that because open marriages allow for infidelity to destroy a marriage. You and your spouse are sexing someone else, and feelings are bound to develop for someone else. When it comes to open marriages, there are no rules. It's easy to see what she's doing wrong; she's opening the door for infidelity. She obviously has no respect for her marriage if she's entertaining this foolishness. 

You can't say no (wo)men, no sleepovers, etc. because that defeats the purpose of an open marriage. If she's going to have an open marriage, throw all rules out the window. Marriage is ordained by God, a sacred bond between a man & woman to honor and cherish each other for life. I don't see how an open marriage could bring a couple closer together. On the contrary, open marriages would tear couples apart because one spouse may catch feelings for their sex partner and we know how that goes. Once is not enough, some folks want to keep pushing the envelope to see how far they can go.