A man asks a woman on a date, but she doesn't have the funds to pay for a babysitter. Her date knows this, and offers to pay for a sitter. Should she accept? Here's my take: It's a nice gesture that would earn him brownie points, but he is not obligated to pay for her a sitter; that's her responsibility. If she knew she wouldn't be able to afford a babysitter, maybe she shouldn't go out. She could have family or friends watch her child(ren) while she's out. Let me explain why it would be a nice gesture: A man who asks a woman out is trying to make a good first impression. If there's a child involved, what better way to get bonus points by offering to pay for a sitter for her child(ren)? Any woman would appreciate that kind gesture because he didn't have to pay for a sitter, he did it out of love. At the same time, she would be indebted to him because he paid for her sitter. Not too many men would offer to pay for a sitter without expecting payment. Depending on the child(ren)'s age(s), the kid could watch themselves. A favor today, becomes a duty tomorrow. If he's willing to pay for a babysitter, there's no telling what else he's willing to do. Sorry, but this goes into simp territory. Nowadays, many women are opportunists. They're looking for an easy mark, and if they can get a man to pay for a sitter for her child, she can get him to do anything. He's trying to land her, so he's going to do whatever it takes to get her, even at the expense of his dignity. If a woman readily accepts a man paying for a babysitter, she's going to continue expecting that and MORE. Depending on the woman, a man paying for her child's sitter may be considered an insult. The woman will think he wants something in return because he paid someone to watch her child. It's more acceptable to pay for a date, than for a babysitter. I'm looking at this from a single mother's perspective: He would be in a class of his own, but the child would be introduced before their time. A lot of single mothers frown upon introducing their child so early in a relationship. There will come a time where she may not be able to find a sitter or he won't have the funds to pay, and she won't want to see him. That's what men need to look at: What am I getting out of this? There's no guarantee that the date will be a success, so men should be very careful what they're willing to do for a woman in order to win her heart. Too many men give the world for a woman that may not be interested in him, he becomes jaded & the next thing you know, he's on Relationship Talk whining about how all women aren't squat because of a nice gesture gone wrong. You cannot do for everyone all the time, because some people see you as an easy mark. A wise man said: "If you're not willing to play the game, sit on the sidelines and watch the other players." The Game has definitely changed, for the worse.
The way I see it is he shouldnt even offer such a thing bc it could be misleading. One if she not the right kind of woman she indeed may see it as an opportunity to get more out of him or he may feel she owes something she not willing to give. Way I see if you a single mom dating you should be able to afford your own babysitter and food if necessary otherwise you dont need to be dating.
ReplyDeletePreach & Proceed Mondronyca. I see why people say The Game Has Changed, because the players are different. People are doing outlandish things to get closer to the opposite sex.
DeleteThe game surely has changed a in a horrible way.
ReplyDeleteYou aren't lying. I shake my head at it all.
DeleteThe dating game sure has changed. I'm sure dating isn't easy for single mother who doesn't have a network of family and friends who would be willing to watch her children for a couple of hours. If that poses a problem, then yes, perhaps a woman might want to put off dating for a while, at least until her children are older. Men sometimes set themselves up to look like "simps" because their own motives for why they do things for women are sometimes not genuine or sincere. When you want to play the game, you must understand that sometimes you will lose. Then as you said, they are on Relationship Talk whining about how he got played for a simp and women are no good when they lose the game. Don't hate the player, hate the game!
ReplyDeleteAmber Traylor hit the nail on the head when she said "paying for a babysitter is stepping into simp territory". It's more acceptable for a man to pay for a date, than to pay for a sitter. If he's willing to come out of pocket for a sitter, what else is he willing to do? Men do set themselves up for the okie doke by going all out for women who aren't checking for them. Children require a lot of time & attention, and if you can't balance dating and child rearing, remain single.
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