Jul 2, 2012

Continual Forgiveness

Question from a Facebook status: How forgiving would you be if your boyfriend/girlfriend cheated on you? Would you forgive them and could you move on from that? What if you were married? I hope I never have to answer these questions should I get into a relationship because I will have clear-cut boundaries of what will & won't work. Should she leave because I enforce zero tolerance, that's her problem & not mine. If this happened to me, I would forgive her but I could never trust her again because trust is a sacred component in a relationship; once you break that trust, it can never be repaired and if so, it takes a LOT of work. Just because I would forgive her, doesn't mean I would take her back. I would have to release her because she couldn't respect our bond so why should I keep someone around that's going to suck the joy from my life? That's flaw. There are people that will forgive (as they should) and take a cheating person back. I know to each their own, but I think it's ridiculous to take a cheater back. By taking him/her back, you are sending a message that you accept their transgression and they have free will to hurt you again & again. Why give anyone that power? They showed their lack of committment to you via cheating so you have every right to cut them loose. It's no different in marriage. In marriage, you have for better or worse and while cheating counts as the "worse", it doesn't mean you have to excuse cheating behavior. I will never understand how some people can keep forgiving and taking back a cheating spouse. I would forgive a cheating spouse but the trust will never be the same. She would have to work doubly hard to regain my trust (if I took her back). It would depend on emotional level for me. Letting a person cheat on you shows your neediness & weakness because if you can overlook cheating, you will overlook what you need to confront. It's said that people entrust the other person with their heart when two people come together as one. Unlike some people, I take relationships very seriously. When I get with a woman, she will know off top that I only have eyes for HER. I could never cheat on my lady because of what it would do to her and me. This may be a little harsh but it needs to be said: If someone takes a cheater back, they deserve whatever further hurt the cheater is sure to unleash. The victim could've nipped it in the bud by forgiving him/her and then letting them loose.

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