It shouldn't be any surprise that black relationships are dismal at best. Black men and women dogging each other about how the other isn't worth squat; black men are trifling, black women are loud & ghetto, have babies by several different men and the list goes on from both sides. I can remember a time where black relationships were at an all-time high; both black men & women got along but as time went on, a divide & conquer mentality has crept into black relationships. Black women are dating outside the race more than ever before and black men have been dating outside their race for as long as I can remember. From a black man's standpoint, black women make their issues his issues, too argumentative, overly opinionated, ghetto, horrible attitude and the list goes on. From a black woman's standpoint, black men are dogs, jailbirds, thugs, mama's boys, have no direction in life, etc. Let me say that there are bad apples in every race. It's not a good look to base your judgment of people based on a few bad apples. That's like the entire class being punished for the actions of one student. At the same time, I'm aware that one person can mess it up for everyone. Black women are very loyal to their men, they will stick with him through thick & thin and I can respect that. We all want someone that will ride with us through the good & bad. If you want to date outside your race, by all means go ahead. Don't hide behind the "black men/women are foul" mantra because that's making you look bad. If black women are that bitter towards brothers and feel a man of another race can treat them better, be my guest. I could care less because that's less drama for me to deal with and at this point in my life, the less drama I have to deal with, the better off I'll be. The same can be said for black men who have given up on black women. No need to broadcast it, just do it and keep moving. Go get him/her, do right by him/her, make a family and live happily ever after. I'm not letting women off the hook to go ahead and continue their reckless behaviors but the good women hear this so much. Why not let these men be happy if they aren't going to be happy with black women? I was posed this question by a Facebook friend: How do you feel about this as a black man and what would be the repercussions among black men if this happened? My response would be to do what's best for you. If black men are so disappointed in sisters, they should find someone that makes them happy even if it is outside the race.
I really thought about this and I am just tired. During my time in chat rooms, the men throw up getting them a white woman all the time. To me, it feels like emotional manipulation. Those have become hated words to the black woman. But overuse becomes cliche. Overuse turns words into having apathetic contexts. So you think saying that is supposed to make us bow down? Seriously? Women are very flexible creatures- in some ways to our detriment and other ways, its definitely an advantage. Many of us (self-included) can and will get used to the fact that the possiblity of remaining single is very high. I say go right ahead and be happy. I am so past caring about that anymore. Stop griping and just go on.
ReplyDeleteAmen sister Sharen. If you're going to be happy with someone of another race, great. Just don't badmouth your own. Just don't badmouth your own kind in the process because that makes you look bitter & no one wants to be seen as having a chip on their shoulder. I've always said that some people are meant to be single and that's ok. I've been long past caring about a black woman wanting to date a white man. Big deal. Let him deal with your ghetto attitude.
DeleteI know I'm not meant to be single but let's face the facts here; many women who want that companionship and have requirements are not going to get what they want. I'm trying to accept this and still be happy.
DeleteNever settle for less than what you're offering, even if it means you may be single for life. The RIGHT person will come along in God's time. That's the problem with many men & women, they scared of being alone so they settle for anything that moves.
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