This blog was inspired from a chat I had with one of my FB friends. We were discussing whether men and women can be friends. The overall consensus was yes, men and women can be friends. It happens all the time. The greatest relationships start out as friends. There's something to be said for investing years in a person and watching that bond blossom into a beautiful relationship. The woman I meet (whoever she is) will be my friend first, then she will graduate to significant other and eventually wife. During the friendship, both the man and woman learn a lot about each other: They get to see each other at their best and worst. It's in that time they figure out whether they would make a great couple or if it's better off they remain friends. Many times, a man and woman mean so much to each other that if their relationship doesn't work out, they will call it quits and terminate the friendship; they are close beyond comprehension. I think friendships between men & women have to stand the test of time in order for gender to become irrelevant; many times men and women secretly want to nail each other but are scared to take it there for fear of feelings developing. I think the real problems start occurring when you and/or your friend gets involved (and vice versa) due to jealousy. The man and/or woman is so used to having him/her all to themselves that they can't bear the thought of him or her being with another person. It boils down to ulterior motives, whether the man and woman want to be friends for sexual reasons or they truly care enough about each other to form a close bond that may evolve into something meaningful.
I had to think about this some before I responded. I think friendship is the perfect place to decide compatibility. Its a nice, neutral, safe zone where,if you decide that it wouldn't work, your heart isn't broken, you aren't disappointed but you still have that person you feel is valuable to your life. Friendships are great places to be to learn about the opposite sex with non of the drama. If your male or female friend cares, they will teach you the tricks of the trade when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex.
ReplyDeleteDitto. Plus, you're under no pressure to make the relationship work if you two are not compatible. Many times, people force relationships when it takes time to get to know someone in their entirety.
DeleteI have a few men that I am friends with and we've never seen one another as sexual. I honestly believe when you meet.you know at that point if they will be friends or possible relationship, at least I do. Every man I'm cool with I don't see as relationship, but you're right we must be friends first. I actually like the idea of people meeting on a dating site or FB because logistically sex is not possible as fast so you must court and get to know one another in a deeper level. I think relationship would be stronger and marriages last longer if sex was not the focus but friendships
ReplyDeleteGreat point. When physicality isn't the focus, you're forced to get to know someone on a deeper level. I think it's very special to see a man and woman be close friends. It's like they have that brother/sister relationship that can't be broken, even if they don't cut it as a couple. Most men and women are better off as friends.
Delete