Once upon a time, people got married and stayed married for life. Come what may, they were determined not to get a divorce. A couple could be going through the hellish of times but they were determined to stick it out. For marriage vets, they saw hard times as a test to see what their marriage was made of. If they made it through the rough times, they can deal with anything. My hat goes off to all the marriage veterans who have been married for 40+, 50+ and 60+ years. You have marriage legends who have been married for 70 years and up. I read an article about this black couple who has been married 85 YEARS! 85 years of marriage is awesome, it really is. Only God can keep a marriage together that long. The man and woman are in their low 100's. I think what was different with old-school couples and contemporary marriages is that old-school couples understood that marriage is a committment to love each other for better or worse, rich or poor, sickness and health, til death do they part. In today's world, most people give up too quick on their marriages. The first argument they have, one or both parties are ready to sign those papers. Everyone has limits (rightfully so) of what they won't deal with but to split up over minor issues (mostly misunderstandings that can be fixed with clarification) is not that serious. Going further, divorce wouldn't be an issue if couples took their time in getting to know each other. I think a couple should wait at least 3-5 years before they get married. In this manner, they have ample time to get to know one another and if they find out they're not compatible, they call it quits and move on. It doesn't make sense to get married and come to the realization that you two weren't meant to be.
That is so true. I find that many won't make the necessary adjustments to keep their marriage, especially when those adjustments are ones that need to be made anyway. I also don't believe in "meant to be." I believe in "you make it what you want it to be together." If two people want something so much, they will fight to have it and fight to keep it. People want things too quickly these days and they go by what they see too often. Patience is a virtue for a reason. Allow others to be themselves so that you see their true self come out. See them ugly, see them glamorous, see them have fun, see them during their sad times with the realization that no one is perfect and we can't expect perfection. That way you know if this person is worth the rest of your life. Once you both make that commitment to be together, don't break it. I just wonder why its so hard for some people to keep their commitment to each other and why is it so hard to make a commitment to another person?
ReplyDeleteCommitment is too much like work. Nobody wants to do the work required for successful relationships. You have to fight for your marriage even when you feel like giving up sometimes. It's easier said than done but remember that you may not be at your best always and you're going to want someone to stick with you through the good and bad.
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