I Can Be Everything You Need

Shout out to one of my Facebook lovelies Teresa Marie for this topic. Let's get into the subject: Anytime someone is trying to get to know someone on an intimate level, they're quick to say "I can be everything you need" It sounds good coming out of one's mouth, but can someone REALLY be everything a person needs/wants? Doubtful. I say it's doubtful because people are flawed & will disappoint you from time to time, even your (wo)man. They don't mean any harm, but we live in a sinful world and because of that, there will be times where your (wo)man will hurt you (un)intentionally. This topic reminds me of the 80/20 rule: You're going to get 80% of what you want in a relationship. If you're getting 80% of what you want, you're doing very well. The other 20% is where you and/or your mate fall short. Let's say you CAN be everything someone needs; how many of us would hold onto those kinds of people?

Even if a prospective mate could be everything a person needs, who's to say the other person would hold onto them? Most people end up taking their (wo)man for granted, and when the other person has had enough, all of a sudden (s)he has a change of heart and promises to do better by their mate. By that time, it may be too late because everyone has their breaking point, that moment where they wash their hands of their spouse and leave. A lot of people like to play hard and say "I don't care if (s)he leaves, let them go", but if they're honest, they'll regret letting someone special go. True love is rare to come by, and those who find it are blessed.

Is It Ok?

Is it ok for your significant other to flirt sexually with their Facebook friends? My answer is no for one reason: It's a matter of time before it leads to physicality. It starts off as harmless flirting and once the conversation is flowing, both people get to talking sexually and make plans to meet each other in person. Once your significant other meets his/her Facebook friends in person, that's when things get interesting. I'm starting to understand why some people say social media is one of the top causes for infidelity in relationships because of the anonymity involved. How many couples are on social media together as a couple? Very few, although I think that number is growing. A lot of couples have met through social media and hit it off. Usually, it's one person or both people who have a social media account. If both people have a social media account, they don't advertise their relationship because they believe in privacy, or so they say. Sometimes, some couples don't advertise their relationship on social media because they have nothing to prove; they know they're in a loving relationship so why put their business online? Then you have couples in relationships where one person is active on social media for the sole purpose of double dipping. I feel like this: The only person one should be flirting with is their significant other. Out of respect for your mate and the relationship, flirting with Facebook friends is a negative and can lead to serious issues.

Random Thoughts: Week of 7/12

YOLO is leading folks to an early grave. Just because you only live once, doesn't mean you should be reckless.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) July 12, 2015

When the blind leads the blind, both fall into a ditch.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) July 12, 2015

Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer.

— Law of Attraction (@TheLOAWorld) July 11, 2015

Second Florida State player charged with assault on a woman even though he defended himself. Note To Athletes: Stay Away From Women.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) July 11, 2015

You can't cry over your losses if you refuse to fight for what you want.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) July 9, 2015

If you grab your (wo)man phone, and they fight you, give it back because they're cheating.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) July 8, 2015

Stop, Drop & Roll doesn't work in hell.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) July 6, 2015

Chicago Gang Wars: Roseland

Chicago's violence has gotten a lot of media attention, from several documentaries explaining the violence crisis to Spike Lee's debut documentary: Chiraq. The brother in this video explains how it's not safe for kids to play outside because of street wars.

Chicago Violence: Roseland

Giving Up Social Media For A Committed Relationship

The craziest thing I've read on Facebook was some people saying they would give up social media to make their (wo)man feel better. Man, that's stupid because if you have to shut down social media because your partner is insecure, there's bigger issues to deal with. I don't care what other couples do, but I'm not shutting down social media to have a rewarding relationship with my lady. I've been on social media long before my woman came into my life, so it's crazy for me to give up social media. I use social media to reconnect with folks I've lost touch with over the years, meet new people from across the nation and world, promote my blog website and post encouragement. If she can't trust me to be faithful to her while on social media, then that's her issue and not mine. I understand everyone's different, so couples need to do what's best for them, but there should be some level of trust. If you can get your mate to deactivate their FB/Twitter account, then there's no telling what else you can get them to do. At the very least, I'll cut back on my social media presence, but closing my Facebook & Twitter accounts is a no-no. Trust is everything in a relationship. Without trust, you have nothing.

Athletes, Leave Women Alone

Second Florida State player charged with assault on a woman even though he defended himself. Note To Athletes: Stay Away From Women.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) July 11, 2015

Story 1: De'Andre Jordan got into it with a woman at a Tallahassee bar. She calls him a nigger and swings on him. He defends himself, but he gets charged with assault even though she started it. Jimbo Fisher kicks him off the team, and he may be expelled from FSU. Story 2:  Same situation involving Dalvin Cook. Punched a woman several times in a Tallahassee bar last month, HE also gets kicked off the team and may face explusion from the university. That's two talented FSU players that have thrown their football careers away because of assault on a woman. Yes, the two women involved were at fault because they threw the first lick, but as athletes, there's a target on their backs. Everything they do is scrutinized because they're representing their university. I feel like this: College athletes need to stay away from women. Yes, I said it: College football players need to leave women alone because it's obvious some women provoke them to assault. This is why it pays to live low-key because you avoid mess like this. Some women have NOTHING to lose, and will do anything to bring a successful man down. Some of these college athletes don't think about that; all they're thinking about is getting her into bed, and when she doesn't respond the way he wants, he gets in his feelings and puts his hands on her. There goes his future because she presses charges. This is just me: If I'm a star athlete, I'm living low-key. After watching too many athletes catch cases, socking a woman dead in her mouth for hitting me is not worth throwing away my collegiate career. Even if I'm right for defending myself, the courts won't see it that way. They're going to look at her as the victim, and me as the aggressor. That's something I can't risk, so I don't put myself in those situations. 

The State Of The Streets

The way the "streets" are now, it's not like it was growing up in the 50's and 60's. You had loyalty and camraderie among your partners you ran with. If someone in your crew was caught, he did his time and had his homeboys look out for his family. Fast forward to 2015, you have young boys telling on each other. Well, I'm gonna tell on this person, that person, this person and that person. When the investigator gets you alone and offers you a cup of coffee and a cigarette, folks mouths' start flowing like the Mississippi, just telling everything from Day 1. A lot of the reason is because some of these dudes want to get back to one of these broads, so they get their boys to take the fall. I don't condone getting involved in the thug/street life, but if you're going to be "about that life" do your dirt alone, because at least you won't tell on yourself. You can't trust your partners you run with because when the law put pressure on you, little by little you or they're going to fold. The police, DA and the Feds know how to get a confession out of you. I've followed some of the biggest criminal cases to know how this goes: How do you think the Feds are able to take down some of the biggest organized criminal groups in the nation? They have informants that are feeding them information about that group and once the Feds have enough information, they move in and shut everything down.