I'm Not A Virgin, But My Lady Has To Be One

Some men want their lady to be a virgin when he's slept with half the female population. Where They Do That At? #ThickerThanWater.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 27, 2015

I'm watching last night's Thicker Than Water when Cyrene and her boyfriend were chilling at the pool. They discuss sex when her boyfriend reveals that he's not a virgin. He asks Cyrene if she's a virgin and Cyrene says yes. That's good, right? Right, except for one problem: Her boyfriend has the nerve to say that he doesn't want a girl that's been with other guys sexually. Let me get this straight: Some men want their lady to be pure while he defiled himself with other women? I need to do some research to figure out where they do that at. If a man is promiscuous, he cannot expect his woman to be a virgin. No woman who's a virgin would want an experienced man because he's going to want to test drive her. He might as well get an experienced woman who would be comparable to him. Cyrene's virginity is very important to her, and she shouldn't allow her boyfriend to make her feel bad for it. Put it this way: If a man wants a virgin woman, he should be a virgin. If a man wants an experienced woman, he should be experienced as well. A couple must be compatible on all fronts in order for their relationship to work. I just think it's hilarious that some men believe they're entitled to a virgin woman when some of them have slept with everything walking. But hey, there's nothing wrong with wanting a higher caliber woman, right? Some men just need to make sure that before they demand their woman be a virgin, he's also pure himself. There's nothing worse than a non-virgin man and a virgin woman. 

Bull's Eye

The Bible was spot on when it said the enemy has a Bull's Eye on God's people. Whenever Satan targets God's children, it's for a reason: The devil doesn't like the anointing that's on someone's life, and Satan will come with everything he's got to ensure he derails a child of God from their calling. My heart goes out to all pastors and their wives for being willing to stand in the gap and be leaders to their congregation. It takes a strong (wo)man to shoulder the burden of leading their congregation to God. Ultimately, God can bring someone to him on his own, but pastors' responsibility is to point people to Christ. Pastors have burdens their congregation will never understand, because many pastors won't be open about their struggles. The reason is that the congregation looks to their pastor for spiritual guidance, and if the pastor can't keep it together, what does that mean for the rest of the congregation? Pastors are human just like everyone else, and it takes a brave soul to tell his congregation "I'm your pastor, but I'm human. I struggle just like you guys, but I know someone who has your back." It's important for Christians to keep their pastors in prayer, because pastors are fighting battles that their congregation may never know about. Pastors & spiritual leaders have taken on the charge of leading their congregation to God, and anytime someone's called into ministry, they can expect the enemy to come at them hardcore.

R.I.P? Only If You're Right With God.

Death should be nothing to cry over. That's passage to heaven (if your loved one was right with God).

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 20, 2015

Death is something we all experience: Some experience death earlier than others, but eventually everyone will have to come to terms with their pending demise. The best way to live is to the fullest because life has no rewind button. You can't go back and redo the opportunities you've passed on, the chances you had to tell that person how you feel about them, etc. If & when the time presents to do something, do it or you'll have that would've, could've & should've moment on your deathbed. Nobody wants to be on their deathbed with regrets. Most people (if they're honest) want to go to their deathbed saying they came, they saw & conquered all life had in store for them. In any event, should a Christian mourn at the loss of a loved one? That depends on their salvation. There's nothing wrong with Christians mourning over their loved one's demise. (S)he meant a lot to them, so mourning is natural. I do have a little issue with grieving over the loss of a saved loved one. Why should a Christian grieve over the loss of a saved loved one? They should celebrate that person's passing because (s)he's no longer suffering. They've completed their course and they've been promoted to Heaven. I could not see myself crying because God took my loved one home. If they were saved, I'm rejoicing with them because they're going to a much better place. God is calling his people home at a rapid pace, so folks might as well stay ready.

The only possible reason I would probably shed tears is if my loved one died without getting right with God. Sure, I'd do my part to tell him/her about Christ, but the acceptance decision is on them. Christians can't force people to come to Christ, all they can do is tell them and God will do the rest. If you're right with God, you shouldn't fear death because the way I see it, God's calling you to his presence. The only people who should fear death are those who don't have a relationship with God. The good news is that it's not too late to introduce yourselves to Christ.

Silent No More

It used to be taboo for black men to complain about anything (women included), now social media has given them a tool to voice their issues.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 21, 2015

In the past, black men didn't have a voice. Black men were expected to remain silent while black women threw them under the bus. The reason is that men complaining about anything was considered a feminine trait. What do you do when you try to complain, but don't want to be seen as weak? You remain silent. The issue is that being silent can be deadly because all that frustration is building up to a dangerous level. When you let loose, everyone feels it. Because many black men didn't want to be seen as weak, they had no choice but to keep calm and say nothing. This allowed black women to run reckless with their mouths because they weren't going to be accountable for their reckless mouths. When you have free reign, you're going to milk it. Here's one problem: Times have changed. Since social media was introduced, this gave brothers a voice they never had, and as a result, black men are standing up to these reckless black women with a fury they've never seen. Because some black women aren't used to an equally vocal black man, they resort to shaming tactics such as: Men don't argue with women. Last time I checked, there's no universal law that states that men aren't to argue with women. If a man wants to argue with a woman, he has that right. Anytime a woman resorts to shaming tactics, she's already lost the argument. She has no ammunition so she resorts to what she knows: shaming tactics. Even those are starting to wear thin among black men because every black man's heard it all: He's gay, he hates women, men don't argue with women, this, that and the other. Social media has been a blessing for many black men because they aren't afraid to let black women know what they think. Those shaming tactics are no longer silencing black men because they're used to hearing the same ones repeatedly. It's a new day, and some black women are no longer able to silence the voices of many black men. My suggestion is they (black women) get used to it because their time is up. Black men are no longer silenced by many black women's shaming tactics.

Family Friction

Folks, I want to talk to you about family friction. In a perfect world, there would be no family conflict because everyone would be on the same page. Families walk & talk alike, think alike, etc. Wouldn't that be great? Yes, but here's the problem: We don't live in a perfect world and unfortunately, families fight. Most families fight and get over it, other families fight and don't speak to each other. Sides are taken, and you're either Team this or that. I was watching Sunday's episode of Thicker Than Water when the Tankard sisters were at odds. Jewel and Junice feel some kind of way about each other, so they're going at it. Hurtful things have been said by each sister and apparently the Tankard sister beef is so deep that they've pretty much stopped speaking to each other. Being the leader, Ben decides to try and mediate by getting to the root of their issues, so some ground was made. My hope is the Tankard sisters can work through their issues, and go back being close. I think they'll get through their issues during the season. 

Unfortunately, many families battle so much that they stop speaking to each other. There's a code that you don't break: Never air your family drama. Whatever issues you have with a family member, you work it out in secret or part ways, but you don't put your family out on Front St. I don't respect that. No matter what issues I may have with my family, I will never put them on blast. I look at these tabloids with these "Tell-All" stories and I shake my head because the enemy (Satan) is wreaking havoc on families, and people are too blind to see it. I'm for family reconciliation, but a person can only do so much (prayer, talking to them, etc) until they feel it's no use. You can't reason with the unreasonable. If a family member refuses to respect your feelings and continues to mistreat and abuse you, it's time to cut that family member loose. It may hurt at first, but you'll understand it's for the best. Sometimes, you have to cut toxic people in your life, and that includes family. I'm blessed to have a cool family, but I feel for those who aren't as blessed to have decent family members.

Come To The Hood

If blacks want businesses in their hoods, get rid of the violent crime and businesses will want to invest. #Simple.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 11, 2015

An entrepreneur comes to me looking for an investment in his company. I've been watching Shark Tank long enough to know the kinds of questions to ask: I'm going to ask about location, my return on investment, and I'll gauge how much knowledge and connections I have about their product and make my decision. I'm a successful businessman looking to open another business in a thriving area of the big city. I'm looking at location, proximity to attractions and most of all safety. I hate to say this, but I wouldn't put a business in the hood because of safety concerns. I'm constantly worried about my business being vandalized or burglarized, my customers would have to worry about being victims of crime because of thuggery. Some inner-city people don't want to work for theirs, so they turn to robbing someone else. Not everyone in the ghetto is criminally-inclined, but the criminal element does outweigh the law-abiding citizens.

If I pay for heavy police protection, that could alleviate some of my customers' concerns, as well as my own. It's like this: A lot of blacks complain about lack of investment in their hoods, but look at Ferguson, South Los Angeles, and any other black neighborhood that's suffered from disturbances; the rioters burned down and looted their own businesses. No one's going to invest in your community if you don't take care of it. That means standing up to the criminal element and working with the police to rid your hood of violent crime. I'm growing tired of some blacks complaining about the lack of investment in their communities when all some of them do is burn their own down if a cop shoots down an unarmed black guy. If I compare black neighborhoods to white neighborhoods, I'm likely to make more money in the white communities because of low crime risk, location and because whites are pro-business. They're quick to support up-and-coming business because it makes their community look good, and it does.

I'm not saying that blacks won't support business because a lot of them will, but unfortunately, a lot of black communities have a very high crime risk so it wouldn't make good business sense to open a business in a black neighborhood. I wish that weren't true, but unfortunately it is. I'm all for investment coming into black communities because it's really needed, but there's too many barriers preventing investment from coming into black neighborhoods.

Enemies Turned Besties?

Nene and Phaedra are besties when not too long ago, Nene called Phaedra Fakedra. Have several seats. #RHOA

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 19, 2015

I could've sworn Nene and Phaedra were enemies, but after the last few episodes I guess they're besties. That's ironic because not too long ago, Nene called Phaedra Fakedra. Anyone who's followed RHOA long enough knows that Nene is the Queen of fakery. She'll be cool with you one minute, and throw shade the next. Cynthia and Nene used to be real cool on RHOA. They would go out together, share intimate details of their lives, etc. As soon as Cynthia started standing up for herself, Nene doesn't like it and decides to start mistreating Cynthia. Cynthia got some heart and decided to terminate her friendship with Nene. Back to Nene and Phaedra: They used to have some of the biggest battles on RHOA, Nene would hit below the belt on Phaedra and vice versa. When Kenya and Nene got into it, Phaedra co-signed Nene on everything and took part in the Kenya bash fest. Fast forward to Kenya vs. Phaedra: During the whole Phaedra/Apollo saga, Phaedra was talking all kinds of noise to Kenya about how she flirted with Apollo, gave him action, etc. Turns out, Kenya was telling the truth all along and Phaedra has yet to apologize to Kenya for the accusations. What's funny is that Nene co-signed Phaedra on the "Kenya's a ho" accusations. My thing is: You can't battle with someone, then be friends the next. That's phony to me because all that showed was that they became best friends under false pretenses, to disparage Kenya. It's going to be a matter of time before Nene gets into it with Porsha, they fall out and become besties once again under false pretenses.