New Breeds

I could never bring myself to gossip about another man behind his back. People aren't that important to gossip about.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 16, 2015

Today's message is New Breeds, and I'm not talking about the infamous Chicago criminal organization. New Breeds is a term that I've come up with to describe men who take on feminine characteristics. It should be understood that men don't gossip about another man behind his back. If a man has something to say, he says it to that man's face. It seems like today's new breed of men aren't like old-school brothers. Old-school men weren't about shooting their mouths off like rockets about other men. Whatever issue a man had with another, that man took his issue to the offender and they handled it. That's not the case today because you have men threatened by other men for whatever reason, and they want to drag his name through the mud, scandalize his name in the streets. Every time that man comes around, other men huddle together and start gossiping about that man. 

Two things happen with these New Breeds: 1. They play it cool like he's not the object of their discussion (the target knows better) and 2. They'll get online and gossip about whatever man they have a problem with. It's one thing for men to gossip about another man, but it's another when those same gossipy dudes have the nerve to call themselves men. I'm indirectly discussing real men etiquette, so I've got to say this: REAL MEN don't gossip. Men understand that gossiping is unmanly and should be dealt with. I feel if a man's comfortable enough to gossip about another man, he should be comfortable to say what he said to that man's face. These New Breeds don't understand that because many of these dudes have been raised around women. They heard their mama gossip, so he exhibits that same behavior. It's not that guy's fault because he doesn't know any better. He's been raised around women, so that's all he knows is gossiping.
These New Breed of men are something else. It's like the New Breeds have destroyed all manhood protocol, and they decide to get beside themselves and start shooting off at the mouth towards other men. Even worse is these men are ok with telling about the next man. Like my tweet states: I could never bring myself to gossip about another man behind his back. People aren't that important to gossip about.

Before: By Lotus (How To Be A Woman)

Ladies,

Before you talk about how he didn't stay, make sure you talk about what you did to make him go. Before you talk about how he never treated you like a lady, make sure you talk about how you never made him feel like a man. Before you talk about how he stopped bringing home the bacon, don't neglect to speak about how you stopped cooking it before he did. Before you talk about how he wasn't man enough to lead, please talk about how you weren't woman enough to be led. Remember, that when you're laying down blame, you must pick up some accountability as well. Because only a fool believes that when there are clearly two people in a relationship, all of the blame should only be owned by one.

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I've gotten away from promoting various writings of How To Be A Woman, but I'm going to start showcasing more of their material, because it's good. Today's message is going to be a highlight of this article. Everyone knows (or should know) that relationships take two to be successful; both (wo)man have to have the all-or-nothing mindset to make a relationship work or else, it's doomed. One person can't or shouldn't be doing all the work, but because some people have an entitled mindset, they feel one person should do all the giving and receiving. I'm glad those types exist because they teach me the type of person I don't want. I'm giving 100%, she's giving 100%, period. Whenever a relationship ends, SOME women get ghost and want to exempt themselves from their share of responsibility for the relationship failing. It took two to enter, right? Right. By that same logic, it takes two to make a relationship work.

Affiliates, Acquaintances and Friends

As you grow older, you realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.

— Life Facts By Lemon (@lifeandlemon) January 14, 2015

I've never understood why some people would rather have many friends than a few solid ones. It's crazy because everyone you're calling your friend, really isn't a friend. Some of them are affiliates, others are acquaintances and only a select few are true friends. Affiliates are groups a person is associated with for a purpose. Affiliates carry out the group's activity, but they're not full members. For example, if I'm hanging with President Obama, I would be considered his affiliate because I'm around him for important matters, and I would get to go where he goes. People look at me and say to themselves "He's rolling with President Obama, so he gets to go where the President goes". Acquaintances are people you chat with (in)frequently; you may have a lot or little in common. With acquaintances, they have the potential for friendship, but you're testing them to see if they'll make the cut. Some acquaintances pass, others fail so it's important to pre-screen everyone that comes into your life. Last but not least, you have your friends: These are people you've known for years, who've seen you at your best & worst, and they're still by your side. They give you tough love, but they're still by your side because they want the best for you. A lot of people say it's hard to find friends & they're right. Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to be a friend. It's important to group people accordingly. It's easy to have a clique of people you hang with here and there, but how many people in that so-called clique can you count on for encouragement & support? Probably none. I've never been concerned with having many friends, just knowing I have 3-5 solid friends is good enough for me. I don't need a clique, posse or crew surrounding me. When I see folks in groups, it makes me think they can't stand alone, that they need back-up. You also have frenemies, those characters who act like your friend, but they're your enemy. I'll venture to guess that most people (if they're honest) will say they have more affiliates & acquaintances rather than friends, and that's ok. Friendship takes time to develop.

Strong Women Attract Strong Men?

If strong women intimidate weak men, then why can't strong women attract strong men? I'll Wait.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 12, 2015

It should go without saying that a strong woman attracts a strong man, right? That's not always true. The Facebook meme "Strong Women Intimidate Weak Men" was posted in one of my Facebook groups, and that sparked a big debate. My writing style is diverse: I can take tweets and turn them into topics, and the same goes for Facebook memes and just regular thoughts others post. My question is: If strong women intimidate weak men, why can't strong women attract strong men? The reality is that strong women are drawn to weak men because she can control him. If you can control a weak person, you can get them to do your bidding with no resistance. A strong man doesn't go for a so-called strong woman's attitude/nonsense. If she can't get right, she will get left. A strong man knows his worth just like a strong woman does. You'd think both strong (wo)men are good for each other (which is true in many cases), but that's not always the case.

All strong men aren't attracted to strong women. The reason is that some strong women use being strong as an excuse to show their behinds. You know the combative, belligerent, ghetto types who think a man is supposed to take whatever she dishes out. A strong woman knows her worth, but doesn't have to flex on others. She knows when to speak up, and when to remain silent. Above all else, a strong woman uses her strength to empower other women. To me, that's a strong woman. Maybe another reason strong women can't attract strong men is that she doesn't desire one. Not every strong woman needs a strong man by her side, and that's fine. Sometimes, a woman can be let down by men too many times that she doesn't want to deal with some men's craziness, so she chooses peace of mind over finding a strong man. Sometimes, you have to be strong for yourself & not others.

Restoration

My pastor brought forth a powerful word yesterday and his message was Restoration. If you're a believer (even unbelievers can relate to this message), you've walked with God long enough to know that we live in a fallen world. Because we live in a fallen world, unfair things will happen to us at some point. It seems like God's people get hit the worst because God's children made a pledge to walk with the Lord all the days of their lives. Part of walking with God means you'll go through drama, much of which is out of your control. Life happens to us all, and as much as I don't like it, I have to speak that harsh truth. I've said this before & I'll say it again: If Adam & Eve didn't disobey God, life would be better for everyone. There would be no famine, violence, prejudice, etc. God wouldn't have a reason to restore because there would be nothing to restore. You can't restore what's not broken.

Even the Bible states that everything has a season: A time to laugh & cry, a time to mourn & rejoice. Things happen in life that are out of our control; there's nothing you or I can do about it except be encouraged that God's in control. Because God's in control, he will restore to his children all the enemy has stolen. God knows I need more than my share of restoration, and after yesterday's message, I'm holding onto faith that God will give me double for my trouble; I just have to keep myself encouraged in God's word. When my pastor spoke on restoration, it reminded me of the phrase "double for trouble." Restoration involves God restoring twice what the enemy has taken. All of us could use restoration in our lives.

Praying For Your Enemies

Sometimes praying for your enemies is worthless because they've reached the point of no return. Once you get to that point, you're toast.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 3, 2015

I know God's word, so I know it says to love my enemies. I have no problem with loving my enemies because that's what God commands, even if I may not want to. The problem is that many Christians try to love their enemies in their own strength instead of relying on God's power to help them love their enemy. Some Christians get frustrated when it seems like their enemy is treating them worse each day. Some Christians may do good for a moment, but eventually it'll come crashing down. I'm a firm believer that only God can give his children the power to love those who wish evil upon them. In doing so, God will take vengeance on his enemies; when God metes out justice, it's far more serious than man's justice. No matter how tough praying for your enemies is, as a child of God it releases you for one reason: Your enemies don't know what they're in for, and they will continue on their road until they reach the point of no return. Once a person reaches the point of no return, they're toast. That's when God's judgment falls upon them and by then it's too late. The point of no return is that area where there's no hope of redemption. No one should want to reach that point because once you get there, it's a wrap. Well-meaning people can wish for a better outcome for the offender, but the offender put themselves there by their actions. They chose to continue in wickedness until they reached no-man's land. The only recourse is judgment.

Who Would You Be With?

The following question was posted in one of my FB groups: If you had a choice, would you? 

(A) Be with someone who loves you unconditionally, but you have very little in common with them.

(B) Someone who claims they love you and they're argumentative, but you two have a lot in common.

I'm choosing A because unconditional love can make up for the lack of things my lady & I have in common. As we're getting to know each other, we will find something in common. There's something that drew us together, so the challenge is finding out what it is and building on that. Folks should want peace in their relationship with their mate(s), and the last thing someone wants is Round 2 with their (wo)man. From the time one steps outside their door, they're faced with the day's challenges. If they've had a bad fight with their spouse prior to work, that may carry over into their job: They're irritable & they stay to themselves by focusing on their job. This keeps them from going off on colleagues. I don't care how much a woman may say she loves me; if we're having more arguments than good times, something's wrong. Forget about that nonsense that says: Arguing is healthy. There is nothing healthy about fussing. If she can't act right, she will get left.

I'm trying to figure out what's so healthy about arguing. Think about it, you and your spouse are always arguing and making up, fuss than act lovey dovey. Bump that because the way I'm set up, if we can't have a rational discussion without either of us getting in our feelings, maybe we don't need to be together. The only ground you will gain is if the arguing stops IMMEDIATELY. Relationships are for building, and I have little tolerance for arguing and snidy behavior. If I'm giving my all to make her happy, then she has no right to have attitude with me. Get yourself in order prior to coming home. Your (wo)man doesn't need to feel your wrath. Unfortunately, some people are so used to discord that they frown upon having a peaceful relationship. It's as if they feel like a relationship isn't healthy if there's some discord. They can have the discord, and I'll choose the unconditional love from a woman I may not have anything in common with. Knowing me, I'll find something we have in common.