Being Selective

People in general have to do a better job at being selective.

— Lissa Marie (@lissamaries) October 22, 2014

Today's blog message is about selectivity. If you're looking for a job, then you've read the description as to what the employer is looking for. If you're experience & skills are a match, you apply and are called for an interview. The interview is where you showcase what you can do for the company. Whether people want to admit it or not, everyone is selective. Selective when it comes to choosing a mate, car, school, etc. Being selective can be a blessing because you're forced to be very detailed in what you're looking for. You're not looking at the surface, but you're looking at the supporting details that will make up your decision. I don't know about anyone, but I can't afford NOT to be selective. If I'm choosing a mate, I expect her to be detailed as to why she feels I'm the one, and vice versa. Relationships are not to be played with, because a person can make or break you.

If people were more selective, there wouldn't be divorce. I read many articles about couples who used to be on good terms, but they had a falling-out. One person wasn't who (s)he thought, and so on. You can get married with the best intentions, but you truly don't know a person. Couples don't tell each other every thing, some stuff is kept under lock & key. Friends turned enemies, same thing. Gotta be selective in who you call a friend, because some so-called friends are lurking, waiting to turn on you. It takes a lot for me to call someone a friend. I have to feel very comfortable around someone, and we have to vibe in order for me to consider them a friend. Too many people throw the term friend around loosely, when that should not be. "Such and such is my friend," "I've known this person and that person for years," etc. So much pain can be avoided if more people practiced the art of being selective. 

Bearing Fruit

The Bible says you're known by the fruits you bear. The problem is that some women wear tight-fitting attire so you can see ALL their fruit.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) October 24, 2014

Some women complain that men don't respect them. How can a man respect a woman if she has her goodies on display for all to see? You know what I'm talking about: Tight-fitting clothing so you can see her curves. If she's not wearing tight clothing, she's probably wearing revealing attire. If some women don't want to be catcalled, perhaps they should cover up. At the same time, you do have freedom of expression so one should be able to dress as (s)he sees fit, without judgment. Most women will reply with: If he's not buying my attire, it's none of his business what I wear. That's true in theory, but society is relatively judgmental. Judgments are being made every second, from what someone wears to how they act. The only safeguard from judgment is to crawl under a rock, but you'll eventually have to come out sometime. Whether a woman likes it or not, she will be judged on her appearance.

When it comes to "bearing fruit", church women are no better. I've never seen some church women show blatant disrespect for God's house. Yes, God wants us to come as we are, but even that has limits. I was raised NOT to come to church dressed any kind of way: If the young men aren't sagging, then the young women are rocking tight-fitting clothes so you can see all their blessings. Common sense tells you that you're not supposed to have all your stuff on display. You don't know who you may know at church that could work with you, and if they see a woman dressed like she turned up at the club last night, she's going to get a side eye from that visitor. People are watching believers. What they see determines whether they're going to come to Christ or not. If a woman chooses to bear fruit, she should make sure she's bearing the RIGHT kind of fruit. Bearing the wrong kind of fruit could do more harm than good.

Positive Friday: 10/24

The Bible says you're known by the fruits you bear. The problem is that some women wear tight-fitting attire so you can see ALL their fruit.
— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) October 24, 2014

People in general have to do a better job at being selective.
— Lissa Marie (@lissamaries) October 22, 2014

Playing defense without offense is a lost cause.
— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) October 22, 2014

It's best not to go by your emotions & feelings, because they will lead you astray.
— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) October 22, 2014

Don't ever be afraid to show who you really are, because as long as you are happy with yourself, no one else's opinion matters.
— Life Facts By Lemon (@lifeandlemon) October 21, 2014

You have to have an expectancy that something good is going to happen. Not next week, not next month—this could be the day.
— Joel Osteen (@JoelOsteen) October 21, 2014

Not everybody will celebrate the favor and blessing on your life. But you have to be wise enough to not lose sleep over it.

— Joel Osteen (@JoelOsteen) October 20, 2014

God loves you and He has a great plan for your life. Trust that He's in control and will work things out for your good.

— Tina Townsend (@TTownsend4969) October 19, 2014

Lesser Of Two Evils

Every year around election time, candidates go all out for votes. They tell voters what they're going to do, and once voters get behind them & the candidate gets in office, (s)he pulls a switcheroo. This happens far too often that voters are tired of being played. Honestly, you can't trust politicians nowadays because they say one thing, then do another once they get in office. Someone said that politics is a game, and they weren't lying. If you have a group of candidates all vying for top office, expect backbiting. Candidates are going to pull out all stops to get elected, even if it means smear campaigns. If you've been paying attention to these campaign ads, it's the same thing: Such & such person can't be trusted; 600,000 jobs lost under this person, and so on. The thing is, those who work closely with the Governor, President, etc. know the truth. There's some stuff that can't be disclosed, because it could put the city or nation at risk.

My question is: If you're presented with two candidates, and you know both of them won't do what they promised, who do you vote for? You want to vote, but both candidates aren't working with anything. If you've critically looked at both candidates, and discover that neither one is going to do what they've promised, then don't vote. Of course, you'll get those who say "If you don't vote, you can't complain." They have a point, IF....one candidate is clearly the better choice. However, if one feels neither candidate is qualified for office, (s)he has the right not to vote. Sometimes, you can't go with the masses all the time because the masses can be wrong. I used to vote according to party affiliation, and while both sides have their good & bad, honestly, I'm going to start looking at each candidate with a critical eye. Biblically, you have candidates who stand for things that are contrary to God's word, and as a Christian I'm obligated to stand behind those who are for righteousness.

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

When you cheat on someone, they are within their right to give you another chance, or leave you. If your spouse takes you back, it's because (s)he feels you're worthy of a second chance. The worst thing you can do is violate your second chance, because that person may not give you another one. In marriage, cheating is grounds for divorce. I've never understood how some spouses continually take back their cheating (wo)man. It's as if they don't respect themselves enough to put their happiness first. If God sees fit to bless me with a good woman, I'm not going to disrespect her or myself by messing up a good thing. The kids are going to suffer without their dad because mom is going to have to explain to the children why daddy isn't coming home. If she's honest, she'll tell her kids the truth: Mom cheated on dad, and he left. She'll teach her kid(s) not to make the same mistakes she did.

The children are going to be without a father, unless custody arrangements are made.

The husband was right to leave his wife for infidelity. No second chances should be given for infidelity because you don't know if the person's sorry for the act, or sorry they got caught. Many people are sorry they were caught for cheating, otherwise they would've continued to be unfaithful. The more I read these types of letters, the more turned off I become from relationships because I'm thinking to myself, "Can't ANYONE be faithful to their spouse? It seems like everyone is cheating on each other." You don't know who's who anymore. If God sees fit to bless me with a good woman, I'm going to do right by her. Doing right by her means being faithful, and I expect the same in return. Now, this woman is looking crazy because her man left her. I feel sorry for the children, because their dad isn't in the home. I don't feel sorry for the woman because she had to have known what would happen. When you make your bed, you have to lie in it.

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

The title of this Strawberry Letter is Secrecy. There's a saying that continues to ring true: If you go looking for something, you probably won't like what you find. This woman and her husband were on good terms when all of a sudden, she discovers that he's been texting another woman while she was asleep. She goes into his phone and prints out the texts, and shows them to him. After showing him these texts, she proceeds to go snap off on him. I want to feel sorry for her, but I can't because her gut feeling should have told her something wasn't right in her relationship. Anytime someone is texting another person in secret, they don't want their (wo)man to know they've got someone else on the side. It's just a matter of time before (s)he leaves their current relationship for another one. Privacy doesn't go out the window once a couple gets married. If anything, privacy should be that much stronger because some things your spouse may not be able to handle. Then again, if your spouse is being secretive, then maybe (s)he is cheating, and doesn't want you to know. This is why I say that you really don't know someone like you think. People aren't going to tell their partner everything, just the parts that sound good. In marriage, couples should expect that their partner won't tell them every little thing. There needs to be some level of privacy, even in marriage. At the same time, couples should be comfortable enough with each other to tell everything, even the ugly details.

Does Kissing Lead To Sex?

 I was having a conversation with a Facebook friend when the following question was asked: Do I think Kissing Is Ok or should you wait until marriage: Kissing is a gray area because it's an intimate act reserved for married couples as a way of showing love. If you're married, there's nothing wrong with kissing your spouse. That's what couples SHOULD do if they love each other. If a couple is saved but unmarried, kissing can lead to sexual activity. Let's keep it real: You're spending time with your (wo)man, and they're looking right. You've been together for a year and you two enjoy each other's company. One day, (s)he invites you over to their place for a movie. Popcorn and soda is ready, and as you two are watching the movie, someone's going to make a move. What starts out as a peck on the cheek can turn into full-blown sexing between a saved couple. To avoid fornication, set boundaries for spending time together. 

My friend's pastor said he believes there should be no deep kissing to avoid sex, and he's right. The Bible says to not give off the appearance of evil, and deep kissing is doing just that. You can get by with a kiss on the cheek; a peck is ok, but nothing further. Most people aren't content with a peck on the cheek, they get to full-blown tongue because they have such a strong desire for each other. Before you know it, hands start roaming and clothes disappear. After that, the saved couple ends up between the sheets, and you know the rest. You want to lay hands on your mate, but not in a Godly manner. Having said all that, do I believe that kissing leads to sex? Absolutely. With fornication being so rampant in society, it seems like couples would sex each other first before getting to know each other.