Tell, Tell, Tell

Living my life this way has kept me out of so much trouble. I will never understand how some people are so open with strangers they've just met. You don't know these people so why are you singing like a song? That's crazy. I understand knowing someone for a while and sharing confidential information,  because you've built a rapport with them. I would hope that you feel comfortable enough to open up to people you've known for years. You can't trust anyone (except Jesus) nowadays. Everyone's motives aren't pure, so it's important to watch the person you open up to. Some people come in your life as spies; they have very little verbal contact with you, but they're sitting in the cut observing how you get down. Their mission is to gather Intel on you to use against you at a later date. You can't get upset with these people because you decided to be open with everyone you meet. Upon first meeting someone, get a feel for them before you go telling all your business.

Once upon a time, you could confide in "insiders", but sadly, you even have to watch those around you. Those people who claim to be for you, you really can't trust them because you never know when the opportunity will arise for them to double-cross you. Look at some of these marriages: You get married with the intention of growing with that person. Years go by until you discover they've been creeping with another (wo)man. This is someone you've given your all to. After the shock wears off, you don't know what to do because you never thought they'd hurt you. There's an old saying that rings true: Those closest to you can hurt you the worst. You'all have invested into each other's lives. Some people unknowingly hurt you, and are remorseful. They try their best NOT to hurt you again because they followed their apology with repentance. Other so-called "insiders" hurt you intentionally, and feel no remorse. In fact, they let you know it by their non-chalant attitude. 

When an "insider" violates, they should no longer be in your inner circle. They should be treated as an outsider. The good times you may have had with that person, quickly went south when (s)he decided to do what they did.

You're My Frenemy

Friends, how many of us have them? I'm not talking about your video game or drinking buddy, I'm referring to people you've grown up with; you know each other inside & out. That's the definition of a friend to me, someone who has your back in the good & bad. They also tell you the truth and don't care if you're slighted. They want the best for you and vice versa. Nowadays, friends come in enemy form, which breeds the term frenemy. A frenemy acts like your friend, but they're really your enemy. To an extent, it's hard to recognize frenemies because they're very convincing. They portray themselves as lifelong friends, but the minute there's an issue, they show their true colors. This is why you feel people out before you become friends.  You never know who's for or against you. I posted a Facebook status that went like this: If you have a falling out with your best friend, and they tell your business, they weren't your friend from the beginning. 

No matter what, friends should never spill confidential information. I don't care if you have something on your friend that could destroy them, that's foul. Just cut then off & keep it moving. Life is too short for the tit-for-tat garbage. Discernment is key to recognizing frenemies. If you have good discernment, no one will try you because you know their angle. Foolishness will not enter your circle because you have no time for it. I understand that best friends have disagreements, and say hurtful things. In most cases, the friendship will never be the same. If I don't like someone, I'm

not going to be phony with them. No, I'm going to have little dealings with them. To me, being a frenemy is the same as being two-faced, because you can't stand a person, but you smile in their face like nothing's wrong. People better stop being flaw, and start being real. You're not obligated to like everyone, and that's ok. 

I Have Something To Say

1. People love to talk about keeping it 100, but even the $100 bill has changed.

2. You'll see a lot by living a little.

3. What comes out of your mouth was in your heart all along. It took a fight to show your true colors.

4. If you and your best friend have a falling out, and you'all tell each other's business, you'all were frenemies. A frenemy is an enemy that disguises themself as a friend.

5. Some people act like they've never struggled in their lives, then want to criticize someone for what they're going through.

6. You're born alone, you'll live and die alone. Very few people are meant to be in your life forever.

7. Some women boast about being independent like it's a badge of honor. I would hope as an adult, you can care for yourself.

8. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

9. When you have trust, it's easier to love. You can't love someone you don't trust.

10. Shacking up has become the new marriage, minus the legal documentation.

11. Do what you have to do, so you can do what you want to do.

12. Everybody wants a testimony without a test.

13. People have money for turning up and labels, but cry broke when a tangible opportunity presents itself. 

14. An apology party? Where they do that at? 

15. Don't act it, if you can't back it.

Black Love

Anyone who follows hip-hop knows about Rev Run (Joseph Simmons). Rev Run started his hip-hop career with the famed Run DMC. He's been around since I was little, so I know about him. He still does music, but his focus is fatherhood. Rev Run & wife Justine did Run's House, a reality show about the Simmons clan. Miley was adopted into the family because the other children are leading their own lives. Russy is the only Simmons child still living at home, the others have moved out. When I see Rev Run showing his woman love, I can tell he really loves Justine. They interact constantly, and he makes her laugh (even if she wants to smack him sometimes for being too silly). That's the kind of black love that should be shown on TV. There aren't too many good examples of black love in the media, other than the Cosby Show, Fresh Prince, & Family Matters. Is it the media's responsibility to show positive examples of black love? 

Yes, and No. Yes because the media is a powerful tool. What's distributed by the media is what people believe.  No, because the media is going to show what gets ratings. Unfortunately, showing dismal examples of black love is what gets people talking. The minute positive examples are shown, forget it. Ratings drop, and the show is canceled. Kudos to Joseph & Justine Simmons for being a shining example of black love. I wish them continued marital bliss.

Lebron James Returns To Cleveland

In 2010, Lebron James froze the NBA when they wanted to know if he would take his talents to South Beach or stay in Cleveland. Lebron decided to leave Cleveland because he got tired of carrying the team. He repeatedly went to Cavs management asking for a supporting cast, but they refused.  When Lebron left Cleveland for Miami, Cavs fans raised hell. They burned all his memorabilia. Fast forward 4 years later, Lebron re-signs with the very team that didn't give him the help he needed.  I understand he's from Cleveland, so I guess he missed home. Regardless, if I left my hometown then it's with the intention of not returning. If I'm prospering in a larger city, why would I return to the same dead-end environment I worked hard to leave? That's not logical. Sources say that Lebron did it for the money, and if that's true, Lebron proved what most people were saying all along: He's fickle. He won 2 rings with Miami, and had two other teammates that could help him on offense and defense. If I'm Lebron, I take the pay cut to get another star. My endorsements would make up for what I lost in pay.

My personal view is that Lebron wants to be the star wherever he goes, and he felt like he wasn't shining in Miami, because he had to co-exist with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh. There is no I in team. I just hope Lebron doesn't regret his decision. I guess he wants to make things right in Cleveland, so I can respect him for wanting to bring Cleveland a title. Cleveland isn't a championship sports city. The same city that crucified him is the same city that's gonna welcome him with open arms; that's flaw on all counts. The lesson in this is to go where you're celebrated, not tolerated. I'm loyal to whoever treats me the best. That doesn't mean there won't be rough times, but that I know they have my back and I have theirs. Lebron is a beast on the court, and that'll never change. It was good having him in Miami, and hopefully he can give his hometown a ring. If not, then the proof is in the pudding: Going back to Cleveland was a mistake.

Grown & Sexy Facebook Challenge

Tuesday, I posted the following status: Some of you need to stop with the Grown & Sexy Challenge because you look & act nowhere near grown. The Grown & Sexy Challenge is where grown (wo)men post pictures of them taking care of business: Going to work & school, taking care of children, cooking, etc. Some of the Facebook photos I've seen are hilarious, and others I can vibe with. I applaud (wo)men who are handling business, that's what they're supposed to do. In my opinion, advertising that you're doing what you're supposed to do is attention seeking. You're seeking a round of applause for doing what you're supposed to do, be responsible. However, a lot of people participating in the Grown & Sexy Challenge need to have several seats. True grown folks don't need validation, they fly under the radar; their actions speak louder than words. If they get noticed for taking care of business, great. If not, that's fine too. Their validation isn't dictated by how many likes or comments they get for participating in this Grown & Sexy Challenge. One thing about Facebook is you learn a lot about people, sometimes more than you want to know. Some people put their lives on Facebook, and get upset when people judge them. I'm a very private person, so I will never post personal drama on Facebook. When you put your business online, you open yourself up to judgment. I'm hoping this Grown & Sexy challenge is just a facade because some of the participants wouldn't qualify in a real event. If you claim to be grown & sexy, it shows in your character. Being Grown & Sexy is more than just looks, it's a way of life.

Men Are Afraid Of Committment

Women say men are afraid of committment, and it's true. Men are afraid of committing to a lifetime of aggravation. If a man sees a potential problem woman, he will cut her loose before she has a chance to poison him. By poison, I mean picking arguments for no reason. Think about it: From the time a man steps outside the door, the world is against him. He's got to deal with issues from his job, family, child(ren) (if he has any), etc. A man wakes up having to do battle, so the last thing a man wants is another fight with his woman. I mentioned this in a previous Facebook stat for women, but it applies to men: Home should be your one place of escape from all the craziness of society. If a man can't have peace in his own home, where can he have peace? A man has no problem committing to a good woman because he knows she will be his refuge. She will be the one getting him back on track if he slips, and she will admonish him in love if he starts acting foolish. The only woman a man won't commit to is a Jezebel.

Destiny Bennett-Whiteside Ok, if that's the case then why do some men waste his and the woman's time if they feel she is going to bring him a lifetime of aggravation?

My answer: Many men are too busy trying to save some of these reprobates. Most men are caught up in her curves and cute face, that they forget to look deeper. That involves observing her character. What's her heart like instead of what's her booty like? Men are visual creatures, it's in us to be drawn to a shapely woman. The difficulty for a lot of men is looking past her shapely figure and getting to know her. How does she treat loved ones? Do her colleagues speak higly of her? Does she have common sense? How's her relationship with her father? Just like a man's mother is the first woman in his life, a woman's father is the first man in her life. If her and dad aren't on good terms, that could be a problem because she won't know how to appreciate the man in her life. Her dad wasn't a good example of how a man should treat a woman, so she will repeat that in her relationship with her boo. She's going to make her man pay for how her father treated her growing up, and that's not right. Whenever a woman says "men are afraid of committment", always consider the source. Many times, she's coming from a place of hurt.