What Are You Worth?

Marvelous Marina Woods
WHAT ARE YOU WORTH?
Seeing that marriage is what dating Christians ultimately seek, why not make marriage the centerpiece of dating, without all the ties? In the Bible, exclusivity before marriage was granted with a price. When Jacob told Laban that he wanted to marry his daughter Rachel, they agreed on a price before she was set-aside for him. Today, with our boyfriend and girlfriend culture, exclusivity costs nothing and is given freely therefore it means next to nothing, especially to men. It is Biblical for a man to collect his savings, buy a diamond and offer it to a woman as a sacrifice and a promise to marry her. No matter what our society says, the Bible does NOT support the process of women setting themselves aside exclusively before a sacrificial offering has been made. Imagine Jacob asking Laban to marry Rachel without a sacrificial demonstration of his love. Jacob worked 7 years for the hand of Rachel. How much are you worth?

My View: Working 7 years to get your desired man/woman? Nobody has time for that. What people you know that are willing to put in that much work for someone who's probably not worth it? I rest my case. I could see putting in work for someone you're genuinely interested in but even that wears off fast. I understand you're supposed to take your time in relationships because we're talking about a lifetime committment; you're not supposed to rush into a relationship with the first person that has a pulse. As the old saying goes, all that glitters isn't gold. Most people focus on the external rather than the internal which is what gets people jammed up. Patience IS NOT a virtue for many folks, and in a way I can't blame them. Nobody should have to jump through hoops for someone, but at the same time you shouldn't rush into a relationship without doing your due diligence. You gotta find that balance between action and caution. If you have a good feeling about someone, full speed ahead. The slightest doubt you have about someone is for a reason, it's to let you know something's not right. Today, very few people are patient enough to take their time to get to know someone. If you told them how in the Bible, Jacob had to put in 7 years work before he could marry Rachel, most people would look at you with a screw face as to say: "7 years? You have to be kidding me. I'm not waiting that long. If (s)he can't recognize a good thing offtop, I'm not waiting around for them." Someone who knows their worth WILL NOT settle for the first person who comes along.

 

 



What You Don't/Won't Do

Nojma Reflects

22 hours ago

Keep saying what you don't do...at your own risk...

Keep saying:

"I don't submit"
"I don't support"
"I don't cook"
"I don't need you to do anything for me"
"I don't assist in building....you should already be fully built and operational when we meet"
"I don't________(fill in the blank)

I'm just saying.....the more you say "I don't".......it lessens your chance of saying "I do"....in regards to being a WIFE.

 

 

My View: Like I stated in a previous blog commentary, what you won't do, someone else will. True, you have the right to say what you won't do, but someone also has the right to keep it moving on you and find someone who will. Choosing wisely is key. If you know someone's not up to snuff, why are you going to choose them? That's silly. You're willingly throwing yourself into the lion's den when you choose someone that's blunt in telling you they won't do this, that and the third for you. It's hard for me to feel bad for those who find themselves in these kinds of relationships. They told you what they weren't going to do and you didn't take them at their words. I'm reminded of a quote by Maya Angelou: When someone tells/shows you who they are, believe them. She wasn't lying because people will tell you who they are by their conduct, and it's up to you to decide if you can overlook that and try to build something with them, or you need to serve them their walking papers. Me, if someone shows me who they are, I believe them. Why wouldn't I? They let me know offtop how grimy they are so why would I fool with them? They could do me dirty and when I check them, they can say "You knew how I was before you met me." And you know what, they would be right because they showed me their true colors and I didn't listen. For every I Don't, there's an I Will. Just something for people to think about.

I Can't Stand Women Who Can't Stand Other Women!!!!

 

I got this video from a friend's Facebook page. She gives her $.02 on women not liking other women. She speaks REAL TALK so it behooves my viewers to listen closely to the words she says. A few things she says that caught my attention are "I get along better with men." Yes, we all gel better with certain people and that's okay. Statistically, 2% of the population will not like you for any or no reason. That's okay because not everyone is meant to be in your life. It's true some women get along better with men but that's because they've gotten to know them. Some women grew up around men so they haven't been exposed to fellow women. To say you can't stand someone of your gender when you haven't gotten to know them is flaw, to me. True, women have sound reasons for not liking other women and many of the reasons make sense: Cattiness is a big reason for many women not liking each other. A woman can't stand to see another woman looking or doing better than her; the first thing she says is "Oh, look at that heffer, she thinks she all that." Some women do think like this too! I like what she said about a man on a mission: The most important women in a man's life are his mother, aunts & niece(s). If his woman can't get along with his mother or aunt, then she won't be a good wife. It boils down to commonality. If a woman has more in common with men, that's her perogative. Maybe she genuinely feels comfortable around men because let's be honest, if she's in a dangerous situation, her male friends have no hesitation protecting her. Flipping the script, if two women are out enjoying themselves and they find themselves in a volatile situation, chances are those women don't have the street smarts to handle themselves and unless a man steps in, it won't bode well. Sometimes, women have legit reasons not to like each other but most of the time, women not liking each other boils down to jealousy: One woman looks and dresses better than the next, assumptions, etc.

Baltimore Ravens: Super Bowl Champions

 

Congratulations to the Baltimore Ravens for their Super Bowl win. Not even a power outage could help the 49'ers. Baltimore wanted it more, that's all. I really thought the game would be a blow out because at half time, the Ravens were up by 3 TD's so there was no way San Francisco was able to come back. I believe Baltimore would've beaten San Francisco like they stole something had the power outage not happened. But, the outage revived the 49'ers as they were able to come back from 3 TD's, but fell short of a SB win. I guess, this makes the first time San Francisco has lost in the Super Bowl. Congratulations to the 49'ers for a successful season, they will be remembered for mounting a huge comeback and even though they fell short by a field goal, they still deserve congratulations. Ray Lewis was talking about retirement after this season and now he can retire on a high note. Ray Lewis is the leader of the Ravens so I know he will be missed by the organization. He's one of my favorite players and it won't be the same seeing him in uniform. He deserves to retire because he's won a couple rings, made lots of money so he needs to kick back and enjoy himself. This was one of the best Super Bowls I've watched in a long time because it was a storybook ending to Ray Lewis's great career. Now that football season is over, it's time for me to focus on basketball. The final score was 34-31, Baltimore over San Francisco. Again, congrats to the 49'ers for making it this far.

Real Man=Going To Prison?

 

Like the pic states, if the men above are real n****s because they're in prison, what does that say for the upstanding brothers below? Are they not real men because they're making an honest living? You see where the above men are at. Sadly, some women are attracted to locked up men because they're "bad boys" She can have all the bad boys she wants. Those guys at the bottom are the real productive black men because they're going places in life. They are enjoying the fruits of their labor and most of all, they're free. They can come & go as they please with no boundaries, they're not locked down 23 hours a day with only an hour for recreation. No ma'am. I'm not casting judgment on the above guys because none of us are perfect. Everybody has made bad choices in life, some bad choices are severe enough to land you behind bars, but that doesn't mean the above guys can't straighten up once they are released. I just think it's trifling that bad boys are celebrated over respectable men. When a woman's done wrong by one of the above guys, all of a sudden she wants a good man. The issue is that no good man will give her a shot because in his mind, he's thinking "Back then she didn't want me, now I'm doing good, she wants me". Who can blame them? I'm a stand-up brother who's going places in life and I refuse to do anything that would jeopardize my journey. Besides, once the above guys are released, they've got the odds stacked against them as they re-enter society.

Fast Food, Fast Women

Nojma Reflects

Yesterday

Sisters let look at the correlation between fast women and fast food.

-Both are easily accessible

-Both require little to no effort

-Both are open well after midnight....some are open 24 hours a day

-Neither is good for you physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually

-Both are very convenient ....all you have to do is "drive through"

-Both are quick and easy to get

-Neither one requires any discipline

A home cooked meal is something that requires preparation, and thought, the spices have to marinate, it has to simmer, it takes time, there is quality in it....after a man has a "home cooked" meal he will understand that one leaves him wanting while the other satisfies his soul.

So Sisters, you can either be viewed as a "quick convenience” or as a "long lasting companion"...the choice is yours!

Brothers......be mindful of who you allow to "feed" you!

My View: Another banger from Ms. Nojma. Every time I read her writing, it's always on point and then some. It's easier to go after something that requires little to no effort than put in work to get what you desire. Fast Food & Fast Women have one thing in common: Both provide temporary satisfaction but you're stuck wanting more and more.

The Reasons Why Men Don't/Won't Get Married

The following is a list of reasons men don't or won't get married according to Jeffrey Green:

A) He is having too much fun being single.

B) He doesn't Want to Be, Nor is he Trying to understand why he should be the provider for a woman who makes more money than Him..

C)First wife took him to the CLEANERS in the Divorce and he never is going to let that happen again, It's not that he is bitter, angry or hurt. Its because, to him its completely illogical and counterproductive in light of all the Things he had to do to recover himself emotionally and Financially to get his life back together, to ever put himself in that position again..

D) He Is 40+ and has his stuff together and he is Looking For a Woman that Matches his Vision for himself at this stage of life.

E)He realizes that a woman wants to and knows how to ride his back, But she can't/won't/don't really know how to guard his back.

F) He is older and accomplished. He likes solitude and views a wife as weakness

*Yah (God) did say it was good for some men not to marry*

My view: All of these are right on target. Some men, just like some women don't want to be married because they don't want to give up their freedom & independence for someone else. When you get married, there's an unwritten rule that states you give up the I's for Us's. That's what most people don't understand. You can't go into a marriage thinking it's all about you. You have to be able to give more than you're getting in return. Let's be real here, sometimes the man is going to give more and the woman is going to give more; no way around it. The problem lies when one person is doing all the giving & receiving; of course you'll have a lopsided relationship. I did a blog commentary on Due Diligence that went into great detail on how to select the right mate and this subject ties into that. If people did their due diligence, they would be able to snuff out those who come to them with their hands out, expecting to be pampered and not having to reciprocate. When a man's been cleaned out by his first wife, he would be stupid to jump blindly into another relationship without doing his homework. Otherwise, what's the point of going through that ordeal? Each failed relationship gives you a greater understanding of what you do & don't want. When one has been hurt by their ex and their relationship ends, it behooves him/her to take some time to work on self BEFORE jumping into another relationship. You don't want to bring old baggage into a new relationship. I say this when necessary: Don't bring your baggage to the terminal, get rid of your baggage before you board the flight.