Appreciating Women For Who They Are

One of the common complaints women seem to have about men is that men don't know how to appreciate them for who they are. Usually there's some truth to that because some men will try to change the essence of who a woman is so she can be right for him. I could see if asking a woman to change is going to benefit her long term but abandoning the core of who you are as a person is not the move. Either accept a woman for who she is or bounce. That's why it's important for men to do their due dilligence because he doesn't want to get with the wrong woman only to find out she's not what he wants or expects her to be. Most men are worried about how big her booty is instead of getting to know her. A woman wants a man to appreciate her understanding, passionate side, point of view and the emotions that make up who she is. I don't think that's unreasonable at all because most men want the same from a woman. Most men appreciate women for who they are, but if she doesn't fit an ideal fantasy then they might as well not exist. In my view, some women can be irrational and mysterious at times but I have sense enough to know you can't change someone into who you want them to be. Either she's right for me or not. Men and Women should already be working on themselves so if any changes need to be made, that man or woman can make them solo; they won't have to depend on someone else to bring to their attention changes that need to be made. I've noticed a lot of men wanting women to think like men. If you've seen the movie Think Like A Man, this concept is discussed in detail. The premise behind thinking like a man is women understanding how a man approaches relationships. It also goes on to state how some men play on the mistakes women make when pursuing a mate. If women want men to appreciate them for who they are, it would behoove them to understand relationships from a man's point of view. Finding out how men approach relationships is how a woman gets to know her man. There isn't anything wrong with women being compassionate, sensitive, loving , passionate, clingy or needing space at times...... that's what men expect out of women, but just because the environment evokes certain things in a woman doesn't mean that a woman should turn her negative emotions towards her man or continuously be contrary, contradictory, neisty (nice & nasty), sarcastic, and argumentative with her man. That's tantamount to attacking him with a bludgeon. It's not that women will never think like a man, they CHOOSE not to. Let's make that clear. If you can't accept a woman for who she is, you don't need to be with her. When a man gets involved with his lady, he should do his due diligence to see if he can handle her complexity. That means seeing her at her best, worst and everything in between. It goes double for women as well; if you can't handle your man at his best and worst, hit the bricks and find someone you can tolerate. Men And Women have issues they need to fix. A man can receive correction and he won't fly off the handle because you know why? Men are used to getting their butts handed to them. We make the appropriate changes and move on. Society has babied women for too long that they've become spoiled. You can't tell them nothing because they'll get fighting mad and swing the rod of deflection. It seems like women receive correction better from a woman than a man & even then they may still have issue receiving it from their own kind (I've noticed that on these threads). Some women don't know how to keep it real with each other and instead co-sign sucker stuff. If I said the sky is blue and a woman said it's black, she'd get an entourage of other women co-signing even though I would be right. That's that bull right there. Whenever a woman says she'll change in her own time, fellas need to beware because that almost always means she has no intention of changing. Again, it goes back to my previous statement...Be careful who you choose as a mate; make sure they receive correction because it's no sense in you being about something and your mate don't want better for themselves. Any real man would appreciate the softer side of a woman, it's foolish not to. What man wants a woman to be a clone of himself? Not Richard. The issue is women want men to accept them with ALLLLLLLL their craziness but would women be able to accept a man's good & bad? Negative. Many women aren't strong enough to handle a man at his worst but expect him to take the good & bad of her. If you have a character flaw that is detrimental to the relationship and your man points that out, it would behoove you to make the adjustment. If he didn't care about you, he would leave you to your own demise. These are two of women's favorite sayings: If You Can't Handle Me At My Worst, You Don't Deserve Me At My Best and the other (this is their favorite): Take Me As I Am Or Watch Me Go. Those two ideologies are exactly why men and women will never be able to have a satisfying relationship. Men approach relationships from a linear/logical aspect...If I'm this, I want to attract this kind of woman and so on. If something's out of whack, he addresses it and the rest is on her. Make the adjustment or get gone. Women need to STOP trying to get men to be in touch with their emotional side. Men are not emotional, never have been and never will be.

Celebrating Wrongdoing

I'm piggybacking off  my August 30 entry titled "State Of Society Address". The more I go through life, the more disgusted at society I become because what was considered unacceptable back in the day is now acceptable. Forget about calling out foolishness because some people will call you narrowminded, intolerant for standing against wrongdoing. A FB friend posted the following status and it was on point: "This isn't going to be popular, but I really don't care! I don't think the problem with today's society is the "judging" of others, I think the problem is we've become too accepting of CELEBRATING sin/wrong doing! I'm really amazed at some of the behaviors people accept, celebrate, and pass onto future generations as, "the RIGHT things to do." Call it for what it is: evil is evil and good is good. I'm paraphrasing what the Bible says in regards to this blog: Woe is the world we live in where evil is considered good and good is evil. That speaks volumes to society's state. Don't speak out against foolishness or you'll get ostracized. That's the problem, many people lack a spine and co-sign immorality for fear of being disliked. I used to be this way but as I got older, I got to the point where if I lose so-called friends for speaking the truth, so be it. They won't be missed because a friend stands by you as you speak the truth, they will not co-sign sucker mess because they are your friend, family member, etc. Someone is even called judgmental if they speak against the things society accepts! So if I see something foul, I shouldn't speak up? Then when the situation gets out of hand, people want to know why nobody said something. When the right has become wrong and wrong become right you're looking at the current problem amongst our generation. Even in 2012 it's not ok to get drunk, gamble your savings away, fornicate, prostitute, deceive others, lie, cheat, steal, kill, be jealous of, hate on, commit adultery, commit idolatry, be selfish, mark your body up with tattoos, be homosexual, or anything else the Bible calls sin. Doing right is too much like work so in some people's minds, doing wrong is easier. It's all about temporary gratification but what many people don't realize is that the gratification is just that, TEMPORARY. When you make a deal with the devil, he will collect his payment. Now I'm not perfect by a long shot but I know right from wrong. That's enough to keep me from going down the wrong road. Obviously I must be living under a rock because I've never heard of divorce parties until I read a post where people were celebrating divorce. "Sometimes people fall out of love" False. People don't fall out of love, they weren't compatible from the start. When you get married, you are making vows to God and your spouse: For Better or Worse, Til Death Do Us Part, etc. People forget about that part. If you can't get through the good & bad times with your spouse, DON'T GET MARRIED. Falling out of love is an unacceptable reason to get a divorce. I'm not surprised at the craziness going on because we are living in the last days, so wickedness is turned all the way up.

State Of Society Address

With the state of society, I see why many parents choose to homeschool their children. You have the Radical Homosexual Agenda trying to push their filthy lifestyle on school children. No child should be exposed to that garbage. Real Talk. It seems like children have to be ready for war nowadays because of bullies, immoral ideologies that they may not understand, nor have the desire to. I'm understanding more & more why I'm reluctant to bring a child into this sorry world. What was taboo back in the day has become normal. Back in the day, everybody got jobs fresh out of high school and now you have unemployment (the rate is higher for black men). Some people have been unemployed for a year or more. You have people with Master's Degrees & Ph.D's that can't find jobs so what does that tell you? Something is seriously wrong. What's the use of going to school all those years and you can't get a job in your field? That defeats the purpose *shrug*. Greedy corporate executives, 1 in 88 children with autism, black on black murders, etc. I wish God would wipe us off the map and start over because this mess doesn't make no sense. If I had the power, NONE of the aforementioned issues with exist; forget this "real world" garbage. This so-called "real world" is the reason why society's in the shape it's in because what was taboo back in the day has become normal. The reality is that life was intended to be sweet but when Adam & Eve disobeyed God, THEIR disobedience caused all this craziness we hear & read about. Don't get me started on the divorce epidemic. Back in the day when something was broke, it was fixed. Men & Women understood COMMITTMENT. They married somebody based on who they were compatible with & not for their $$$ or good looks. Nowadays, most people aren't relationship material so it's better off they stay single for life because it's no sense in you being a great catch and attracting someone who's not about nothing. If you can't handle your spouse when all hell is breaking loose, YOU SHOULD NOT GET MARRIED. Simple As That. I understand what many elders are saying when they say things should be like they used to (minus the racial prejudice). At times I'm called narrowminded because I don't co-sign foolishness others support. Well, I'd rather live in the proverbial bubble than get infected by the disease of stupidity.



Judgement

People judge, that's a fact of life. No matter what you say or do, someone will have something to say. You can do something with pure intention and some fool(s) will take offense to it. Just because you don't care what people think doesn't stop them from judging you. The best thing you can do is be yourself and remember this: What others think is none of your business. It took me a while to reach that point, but I'm so glad I did. If I lived my life trying to please people, I would be in bad shape because everyone has different expectations. One person may be easy to please and the next one has a list of stipulations showing you how to gain their approval. The only person I'm trying to please is Jesus and by my progress, I'd say he's well pleased with me so that's all that matters. As long as you treat people respectfully, whether they like you or not is irrelevant. Some people aren't going to like you even if you haven't offended them; that's their problem and not yours. I've always prided myself on marching to the beat of MY own drum. I've never been one to follow what everyone else is doing, I like to stand out because in my opinion, the world is looking for individuals and not clones. I have to be real and mention that everyone to a certain extent cares what others think of them. Even God cares about how his people that are called by his name are represented. If people didn't care about what other people thought you wouldn't look appropriate for a job interview or when you go to church or a formal environment. For an interview, you're supposed to care what the hiring manager thinks by dressing appropriately because (s)he's the one that can hire or reject you. You want to put your best foot forward during the interview, but even then you should be yourself. You're not supposed to interview looking a hot mess, that's not a good look AT ALL. I think everyone would appreciate people judging them positively, it's when they are judged negatively that causes them not to care what someone else thinks. Someone's life is theirs, they can live how they see fit. If they ask me for wisdom, I'll probably share but let them know they can't get upset if I tell them what they need (not want) to hear. Even if they don't like what I have to say, I will still offer wisdom if requested. I like what someone posted on facebook in regards to a thread: You can't control what others think of you, any attempt at doing so is futile. For me personally, as long as I'm not endangering myself or others, it's none of anyone's business how I live my life. At the same time, I'm open to constructive criticism to help me become better.

Paying For Your Parents Mistakes

No parent wants their child going through what they did; every parent wants the best for their child (I hope) because there's nothing more satisfying than sending your child into the world to make his/her mark. Every parent wants to know that when their children grow up & leave the nest, they did a great job when they see their child. Due to genetics,  parents sometimes make foolish choices that they require and end up passing those negative traits to their parents. It wasn't intentional but due to genetics, kids usually inherit the good & bad of each parent. Everything I do, it's to benefit my family (should I have one) because I want to leave a legacy for my kid(s) to follow. Parents don't realize how much influence they have. Parents shape the course for how their children end up? Do some parents allow their children to act all manner of crazy with no repercussions? Yes. I'm also aware of parents who don't play with their children; whatever they say goes. Honestly, I would hate for my family  (should I have one) to have to struggle long after I'm dead & gone so that's why it's important to set a good example for the little ones to follow. I think the reason why most children end up paying for their parents mistakes is because the parents are too busy trying to be their child(ren)'s friend. It's ok to be your child's friend, but you are a parent first and foremost. There will be times where a parent MUST lay the smack down in order for his/her children to grow up responsible, productive citizens of society. If children can learn from their parents mistakes, that looks good on the parent because (s)he saw what mom & dad went through and the child doesn't want to make the same mistakes their parents did. Wisdom is learning from others' mistakes. No child should be sentenced to suffering based on what their parents went through. I do believe children inherit consequences by being a product of their environment; however it doesn't have to be a life sentence. The children must persevere and break the spell. In the matter of rewards for successes, some children will always feel entitled.

It's Good To Be Selfish

I used to think being selfish was bad but as I got older, I realized everyone is selfish to a degree. Those who say they aren't selfish are lying because no one can be generous 24-7. There comes a time where you must put yourself first because if you aren't at your best, you can't give anyone your best. No one wants leftovers because leftovers signal scraps. The original person got the good stuff and they left you with their scraps. I'm as thoughtful as the next person but I won't be used. If I get the idea I'm being played, THE END. Selfishness is only bad if you go around thinking the world revolves around you. You don't care if your actions harm others, all you're worried about is getting yours. You have the power to help someone but you choose not to because you don't see that person as worthy of your assistance. Selfishness can be bad if you don't help someone in need. No one has gotten where they're at on their own. I'm selfish (make no apologies) when need be. I want to give the best to someone and if I need to save for myself, so be it. Otherwise, I'm of no use to myself or someone else who is dependent on me to be at the top of my game. What's funny is people get upset when you cut off the gift because you saw they were using you. That's their problem, not yours. Allowing yourself to be used is not the move. It's when you've been used long enough that you decide to be selfish and not care about anything/anyone around you. That's understandable but at the same time, there are genuine people that really need help so to turn your back on them is foul. Everyone is not above being selfish because when it comes down to you or another person, 9 times out of 10 you will do what's best for you and yours.

My Vision

Seems like yesterday I've just debuted The Chill Zone. Since the website's existence, it has grown rapidly. 2308 views and counting. I was supposed to debut this website in June but a good friend suggested I get it up faster and I listened. Since my website has been up, over 2300 people & counting have viewed my website. I'm not going to break that number down but best believe I average double-digit page views daily. My blog website is my way of discussing life from my perspective: what I've seen, been through, situations my loved ones have been through. I also discuss subjects I'm passionate about and as time goes on, I'll start discussing issues that hit home for many people as well as myself. I want to take my talent as far as possible. I stumbled upon blogtalkradio.com and I'm extending my blogging into the blog talk radio. Having my own blog radio show, I reach a wider audience and people put a voice with my writing; it's a win-win for everyone (myself included). The money will be a by-product of my passion for blogging. My following is pretty strong as evidenced by my page views. I'm working on a way to increase my comments because I want to be on all cylinders: Lots of page views, engaging dialogue with respondents, etc. When I was on MySpace, I used to write everyday. Sometimes, I would write twice a day if I had a lot to say. For the past couple weeks, I've written 5 days because I've had much to say on various issues so that's going to continue. I feel like 4 days isn't enough so that's why I give my viewers 5 days of commentary. Periodically, I'll solicit topic suggestions on facebook so I can have something to speak on because the best writers experience writer's block. Even the best writers go through a drought where they struggle to find content. I don't want that to happen so periodically I'll solicit topic suggestions. Also I'll do a series on various issues as well so I can get to the root of why people do what they do and so on. I'm excited about my vision and look forward to how far God's guiding my talent. I've been writing long before I started school and that talent was evident in how I did well on English essay exams. When you have a talent, it shines through in all areas of life. My inspiration for blog commentary is the world around me and my experiences because if someone can be inspired by what I've seen, that makes writing worth it.