Why is Apologizing So Difficult?

One mark of maturity is apologizing for the mistakes you've made. By apologizing for wrongdoing, you don't deflect, tell the hurt person to "get over it", or say "I'm sorry, but..." NO. Either you take full responsibility for your transgressions (or your part of the offense) or don't apologize at all. I would rather someone NOT apologize to me for offending me than give me a half-hearted apology. They could've kept their weak apology to themself. You have some callous people that will tell a hurt person to "get over it", like the hurt person doesn't have a right to be upset at the offender. The hurt person has every right to be upset because 9 times out of 10, they did nothing to warrant that mistreatment from another person. Unlike most people, I can't sleep well knowing I've mistreated a person. 

I always make it right with those I've hurt, and I'm through. If they choose NOT to accept my apology, that's on them. At least I can sleep well knowing I've tried to make it right. Apologizing is a trait that all parents should have taught their adult children; If you offend someone, make it right with that person you've hurt. Don't justify the act or deflect, own your offenses and keep it moving. A lot of folks find apologizing difficult because of pride: Their pride won't allow them to fess up because they would be seen as weak. Nobody likes to be vulnerable, but too bad. Most people should have been taught in childhood to apologize when you hurt someone, but they haven't. I guess apologizing for wrongdoing is too much like right for some people.

Goon Music: Fast Track to Fame & Fortune

 "Catch you suckers hanging
In the hood on the porches
Chopper like raid
Spraying on you cockroaches"-Project Pat

I could be a multi-platinum selling rapper if I rapped about getting
money, shooting enemies with assault weapons, and other nonsense that's
so prevalent in mainstream music. I don't have to be about that life, just sing about goon activity and I'm a multi-millionaire. That formula works for most mainstream rappers and look at them, they're shining. A lot of people don't realize that rappers portray themselves as ruthless gangsters because that's what label executives want. Label execs know sex, money & mayhem sells, so that's what they want their artists singing about. Here's the catch: Many artists have never sold coke, shot an assault weapon or thugged a day in their lives, so why rap about a life you've never lived? REAL gangsters know the deal. They know the downside of street life: Paranoia from wondering if today's going to be their last day; they're into it with a rival and they always have to tote a weapon just in case their enemy catches them off guard, or if their enemy can't get them, they go after loved ones to send a message. Because it's difficult to find a job with a record, a lot of street guys get into hustling. 

Once their business takes off, they have to deal with rivals trying to take over their turf. Anytime a drug dealer is making money on a hot block, there will be competition especially if his rival is in close proximity and they're struggling. You'd think the inner-city gangster life is glamorous with the way mainstream rappers make it seem: Getting money, shopping sprees and carousing with women, but it's not. Once the feds shut down the operation, they're taking that money. What's worse is that young people are influenced by gangster rap so they emulate the lyrics. Just because a rapper says "I'm riding by your spot and shooting up your home" doesn't give you the green light to do it. No, you're going to prison while the artist is making millions living in the suburbs. You have some artists who live their lyrics because they're trying to "keep it real", and end up behind bars. Personally, if you're blessed enough to make it out of the ghetto through music, embrace that. Talk about what you've been through, what you've seen and leave it there. Rappers should not be trying to relive their hood glory days.

What's worse is that some rappers have admitted they don't do the gangster activity they talk about in their music, but they rap about it because it sells. A lot of people are weakminded so they aren't able to separate reality from entertainment, so they emulate their favorite rapper's lyrics and end up catching a case. Is that rapper going to bail them out of prison? No. The only rappers I respect are those who used to be in the streets, but got out of the hood making music. They used rap as their ticket out of the ghetto, and their music is all about what they've been through and seen. These rappers use their music as a teaching tool to steer youth away from the streets, because they've been there. Losing loved ones to violence, having a record, police run-ins, etc. Label executives don't look at the big picture when they're having artists push sex, money & murder in their music, all the execs are looking at is dollar signs; how much money they can make through this artist and a lot of rappers fall for it every time.

I'm Cutting You Off

When someone who can't do anything for me says they're going to cut me off, I look at them like they're stupid and say "Ask me if I care". 😎

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) September 1, 2015

Seriously, I could care less if someone cuts me off who can't do anything for me. Are they footing my expenses? No. Cooking my meals? Negative. So if they're not feeding or financing me, why would I care about them cutting me off? I don't. I understand not everyone is like me, and I respect that. Some people want to be liked by everybody that they can't stand the thought of someone cutting them off through no fault of his/her own. They figure, "If I haven't mistreated them, they shouldn't cut me off". That's not how life works. You can be a generous & respectful person to all you come across, and you may build a rapport with someone at first, but as time goes on, you two grow apart. Out of the blue, you're cut off for no reason, let alone receive no explanation. When someone who can't do anything for me says they're going to cut me off, I look at them like they're stupid and say "Ask Me If I Care". To me, that's confidence in knowing your worth whether others realize it or not. Some people come in your life for a season or lifetime; very few people ride with you to the end because it's not meant for you to have lots of lifetimers in your life. God sees fit to keep some people in your life, others he has to remove because they can't go where you're going. I will never understand why some people get in their feelings when a nobody cuts them off. They should be glad, because the person who cut him/her off is doing a huge favor. Many times, you don't have to take the trash out because the trash takes care of itself.

ICYMI: Wife Is Controlling and Does Not Listen | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

ICYMI: Wife Is Controlling and Does Not Listen | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

How old is this man? 26. A grown man should NOT have a curfew, that's crazy. It's bad enough he married a controlling woman, but the curfew she's got him on is ridiculous. With that said, let's get into this letter. It's hard for me to empathize with this man because he had to know about his wife's controlling nature. In knowing how controlling his wife is, why did he marry her? I'll tell you why: She's a good woman, this, that and the third. Nothing's good about being controlling, I'm just saying. Everything you say and do is scrutinized to the T. This woman monitors his workout time, which is crazy to me. What if he decides to put in some extra gym time? She's going to have a problem with that. This man needs to get some gumption and do 1 of 2 things: Stand up to his wife or 2. Leave. 

I'm going with #2 because I couldn't be with a controlling woman where I have to check in with her for everything I'm about to say or do. As long as I'm not doing anything I have no business doing, she should fall back. I'm having a difficult time feeling sorry for this man because he has allowed his wife to run the relationship. This letter makes me think one thing: She wears the pants & the panties in the relationship. She has no respect for him because he lets her have her way. I bet if he put her in her place, she wouldn't move because she'd know he means business. Now he wants his wife to be submissive; good luck with that because I don't see her changing anytime soon. If he wanted a submissive woman, he should have married a submissive wife because this one isn't it.

ICYMI: I'm Missing My Queen | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

ICYMI: I'm Missing My Queen | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

This man had a good woman, but he couldn't handle her making more money than him so he mistreats her. She decides to give him a second chance, but she doesn't make it easy for him (nor should she). As she gives him another chance, she tells him what she will (not) put up with, and how he shouldn't be threatened by her having a Master's Degree. She worked hard for that degree, and she should be proud. From what I read, she hasn't thrown her education or money in his face, so why is he threatened? I touched on this in a previous blog, but I'll reiterate it again: Many men say they don't mind their woman making more than them until they meet a woman who does. If he's not direct about his displeasure with his woman making more money than him, he'll throw subliminal shade towards her until she wants the truth as to why he's so bothered by her making more than him. Maybe his ex could have made more money than him and she threw it in his face (some folks are petty like that). Not everyone is ok with their spouse making more money than them. Some people seek out mates of lesser financial status so they can take care of them. The downside is that if the couple splits, the breadwinner in the relationship would be responsible for alimony because they've gotten that person accustomed to that lifestyle. As far as I'm concerned, this man has done it now. He may not have a chance of winning her back, especially after she told him what time it was before. He has no one to blame but himself.

Foreign-born drug lords vs. Black drug kingpins

I've noticed a few differences between foreign drug lords and black drug lords: Black drug lords don't have the business mind that kingpins like Pablo Escobar & Griselda Blanco had. Escobar and Blanco used their money for legit business ventures, and they had cops and politicians on their payroll, so they had to pay them off to have free reign. Plus, they were very careful who they let get close to them. Not all, but a lot of black drug lords will let Ray Ray & nem, and his boys in the crew, not knowing these dudes could be undercover rats. The #1 rule to the game is watch the people around you. What's the first thing a black hustler does when he gets money? He gets flashy. Foreign born drug lords are low-key, they don't like a lot of attention, so they have their goon squad do their dirty work for them. Foreign-born kingpins will rarely step in because they have a team of capable hit men ready at all costs. 

Black drug lords are more hands-on, they like to lead by example: Look at folks like Frank Lucas, Nicky Barnes, Freeway Rick Ross, those dudes weren't above getting down for theirs with their squad. I've also noticed that foreign-born drug kingpins had police and some

government officials on their payroll, so they had free reign. Black drug bosses, not so much. Black drug lords rely on residents in their hoods not to go to the police, and a lot of citizens don't, largely due to mistrust between the cops and inner-city residents. As crazy as this sounds, black drug lords do more for residents in their hoods by helping single moms with rent and food, they buy children school clothes, etc. The subsequent violence that follows in the drug world is what gets a lot of kingpins jammed up because 9 times out of 10, someone rats them out to authorities.

Movie Review: War Room

I'm going to review the Christian film War Room. War Room has been promoted among Christian circles for a few weeks leading up to Friday's movie release. I saw it Saturday morning and wasn't disappointed. The movie was 2 hours, but it was worth it. The theme of the movie is that prayer is a powerful weapon. Tony and Elizabeth Jordan have it all—great jobs, a beautiful daughter, and their dream house. Appearances can be deceiving; Tony and Elizabeth Jordan’s world is crumbling under the strain of a failing marriage. This couple was attacked on all fronts by Satan: The only communication Tony and Elizabeth Jordan had was when they were fighting. They both threw shade at each other, and at times they wouldn't say one word to each other even though they lived in the same house. Watching the movie, you can sense the friction between Tony & Elizabeth Jordan.

Their daughter senses the tension between them and as she's talking with her friend Jennifer, Elizabeth overhears her daughter wishing her parents could learn how to love each other again. Tony's not only treating his wife like an enemy, but he's acting distant towards his daughter. Kids know when their parents are acting funny towards each other: Less interaction than usual, one or both parents throwing shade at each other, or in worst cases, open warfare between each other. An older woman looks into buying another home and Elizabeth is her realtor. What starts off as a showcase, turns into a friendship between Elizabeth and this older woman. The older woman gets Elizabeth to open up about her marriage, and as soon as she starts venting about how bad her husband is, the elderly woman stops her dead in her tracks and asks her: What about you?

The elderly woman causes Elizabeth to work on herself instead of trying to fix her husband. Under the woman's guidance, Elizabeth does her fighting in prayer and as soon as she does, she starts seeing changes in herself and her husband. Elizabeth's daughter shares a prayer room with her mother, and there's a scene of them praying together in the prayer room. Tony Jordan gets real with God and confesses his sins. He goes on a dinner date with an attractive colleague, and as they're talking, Tony gets an uneasy feeling and goes to the bathroom to clear his head. He can't go through with cheating on his wife, so he cuts the relationship off. He comes home one evening and decides to confess to his wife that he almost slept with another woman, and breaks down during his confession. 

Once Elizabeth takes her hands off her husband, God begins to work on their marriage and at the end of the movie, the husband pampers his wife via a sundae and foot rub. Prayer changes things. I enjoyed War Room, and plan on seeing it again.