Spilling The Beans: Angel In Disguise

This was too good NOT to share. Read On:

 

I'm sorry ladies, but I have to spill the beans again. This is not an attack on any one person, but just my observations. If this isn't you, just move on. If this is you, I hope to invoke deep thought.

After reading through some responses from my last post, something spoke to me and said to provide a logical reason why SOME black women feel that we are the most loyal women.

Here's the scoop.

Usually if the man is the bread winner, you will hear words like "Leader", "Head of Household" or "Submission.

Conversely, it is more likely for a woman to ENFORCE a sense of role equality, if she is the bread winner.

When I say equal. I mean equal in roles. This is not the same as equal in value. I think that it's fair to say that men who value being the leader also view their women equal in value.

Black men who are the bread winners in their homes, generally, will never go for equal roles. This doesn't mean that they don't respect their wives or that her opinion doesn't matter. In fact, healthy relationships often thrives when each partner strengths are put to work.

Because of what I noted above, some women who have good jobs work better with men who aren't as accomplished as them. This isn't necassarily a bad thing. I would never judge the merits of this type of relationship because what works in these homes, works for them.

I do take issue, however, with the women (just as well as men) who PURPOSELY seek out less established men for the wrong reasons.

Why? Because those relationships often ends in a disaster and perpetuates this vicious cycle of children being born OOW (Out Of Wedlock) or single mother homes.

The ugly truth is, some women who have good jobs only seek men who aren't as accomplished as them, and more often than not, those relationships fail because these women have bad intentions. When I say that they seek these men, I don't necessarily mean that they flat out tell themselves that they only want less established men. It is done more subtly by avoiding or by not going for the well established men. These women are intimidated by well established men, because he seems cocky or they view themselves as being out of his league.

Their bad intentions are often realized later on though, and their men will not place themselves beneath their woman regardless if she makes more than him or not, unless he feels like he drastically needs her. If he is able to get himself more established, he will move on.

Heck even if he doesn't get more established, he will move on to a woman that will let him be the leader.

Then, instead of realizing this, when the man moves on, these women will only blame the men.

That's why (logically) SOME black women feel that they are the most loyal, because unlike many white women, black women don't mind getting a man who isn't as established as her because in her mind she can call ALL of the shots.

 

My View: Many men don't mind if their woman makes more, he wants to know that she won't lord that over his head. Men are looking for a woman to help him build. What Angel wrote ties into a previous blog. What are the intentions of a woman who gets a less-established man? Some women want to help their man make it, others want to help him come up, but as soon as the relationship turns sour, she can say "I made you, you wouldn't be nothing without me."



Question

If President Obama signed a marriage bill eliminating divorce; the bill stated you could get married once, would you support?

 

I welcome this idea, because it would force people to choose their mate carefully. People would actually have to focus on someone's inner rather than outer beauty. It's ridiculous that it would take a bill being signed to get people to think beyond the outer, but if that's what it takes, I'm for it. Relationships are a hot topic for many people, and all you have to do is go on social media and read some people's comments. Some people require the world of someone, but aren't willing to offer in return. I've said this before, and I'll say it again: You can't require what you aren't giving. If you're not on point, how can you expect someone else to be on point? The more I read about relationships, the more I believe it would be great if President Obama signed a marriage bill eliminating divorce. People wouldn't divorce for stupid reasons, and some folks would put thought into who they decide to marry. Faith would be restored in the institution of marriage.
I can see why some people would be against it. It doesn't give abused (wo)men a way out. They would be forced to endure hell in their relationships. Victims could try another way of escape, but if their efforts were unsuccessful, they're stuck. I think this should apply to women, since they're the primary initiators of divorce. Let's be honest, some women see marriage as a business contract, what they can get out of it. Also, marriages could drop if people knew they couldn't escape. After careful thought, some people would realize they aren't cut out for marriage. The premise behind this is to get people to think long & hard about marriage; question your motives behind tying the knot. Is it for companionship, or benefits?
 

Unemployment Rate, 6.3? Yea, Right.

According to a CNN news report, the unemployment rate is 6.3, the lowest it's been in 5 years. Who do they think they're fooling? A lot goes into calculating the true unemployment rate because ALL groups have to be counted: Individuals with disabilities, those who stopped looking, unemployment benefit exhaustion, etc. If you count those groups, the ACTUAL unemployment rate will be higher than 6.3%. At first glance, there's room for celebration because people are finding jobs and stimulating the economy with their income. Looks can be deceiving so whenever I read these kind of reports, I dig deeper. The black unemployment rate is 11.4, which is down from 12.6 the previous month. The black unemployment rate alone is higher than the so-called unemployment rate. The media doesn't talk about that because it's not friendly to mainstream white viewers.

The statisticians that come up with these unemployment numbers are going to dress it up real nice so as to make people think Obama is doing a good job in reducing unemployment. Anyone with critical thinking skills would dig deeper to find the real truth, and wouldn't be easily led by the claim that unemployment is down. It would be nice if the actual unemployment rate was 6.3%, but I and other likeminded people know that's not true. People have to learn how NOT to take things at face value. Dig deeper for the truth, because it saves you the feeling of disappointment. If the numbers can be skewed to make people feel better about the economy, that's what will be done. I don't agree with it, because you're giving people false hope. Individuals with disabilities and those who stopped looking for work have unemployment rates twice the national average.

Persons with disabilities want to work, and many of them are just as qualified (if not more) as the next person. The problem is that employers are biased towards persons with disabilities; they can't look past the handicap and would rather hire a non-disabled person. If you take two qualified candidates & one of them has a disability, the non-disabled person will pretty much get the job every time. Here's the catch: The disabled person is a great fit for the company and job, but employers will give every reason as to why a non-disabled person was hired over the disabled person, and it will always have to do with bias.

Question & Answer

1. Why is there an attack on marriage?

Answer: Marriage is the foundation to a successful community. Husband & Wife, plus children. The husband & wife's job is to raise responsible children who will make their mark in society. If you can target the foundation, you can destroy the very existence.

2. What will it take for black men & women to be on the same page?

Answer: Drop these ridiculous ideologies that some black women have bought into, and realize that black men are black women's biggest ally and vice versa.

3. Why are some women more comfortable around men than other women?

Answer: Many women are petty and jealous, who wants to be around that? I applaud women for having the good sense to steer clear of toxic women. Women who say "a woman who can't co-exist with other women doesn't value her own gender" That's translation for "women should tolerate rampant pettiness from each other for the sake of unity." Bull.

4. Should a man who makes less than his woman still be considered the "head"?

Answer: No. Being the head involves being the primary breadwinner, so if the wife is making more money than her husband, he forefits the right to call himself the head.

5. What happened to good music?

Answer: Good music died after the 90's. Music said something back in the 50's and 60's. You had legendary groups like Temptations, Four Tops, Spinners who had meaning in their music. Now, music has degenerated into gun shooting and drug use & selling, plus sexing.

6. Was Porsha wrong for dragging Kenya across the floor on Atlanta Housewives Reunion?

Answer: I'm Team Kenya, but she provoked Porsha. You can poke the bear for too long, before that bear eats you. At the same time, Porsha should know that Bravo won't let fights escalate into all-out melees.



Hashtag Commentary

I'm starting each sentence off with a hashtag. The following sentences will be concise.

 

#JustBecause you're protected by free speech, doesn't mean you should run off at the mouth. You are subject to making yourself look crazy.

#JustBecause someone doesn't want marriage, doesn't mean something's wrong with them. It means they enjoy the freedom of being single.

#It'sEasy to become a successful rap star. All you have to do is sing about being on the block from sun up to sun down, blasting on snitches, and getting money.

#ThisGeneration wouldn't know good music if it smacked them in the face.

#OnceUponATime, black men and women used to be allies. Now, most are bitter enemies.

#SoManyTimes I hear men talking about going their own way, and not dealing with American women. That's their right, but there are stand-up American women who actually have good sense.

#I'mTired of reading these anti-black (wo)men rants from disgruntled (wo)men on Facebook. Where are you meeting these ratchets that you complain so much about?

#EmployersHaveNoRight to complain about not being able to find qualified employees when they're overly picky about what they want, then the pay isn't commenustrate with their required skillset.

#1993-2001 were good years. The economy was strong, unemployment low, gas prices were $2 and under. I long for those times.

#Today'sGasPrices resemble Magna Cum Laude GPA's. 3.75, 3.80?

#MaybeIt'sBetter that some people remain single. They can't make someone else jaded by their grim outlook on relationships. There's a difference between being jaded and realistic.



Donald Sterling Banned For Life

I want to give kudos to NBA Commissioner Adam Silver for his swift smackdown on Donald Sterling. Donald Sterling deserved his punishment because he had no right saying the craziness he did. If it wasn't for those black players and fans, he wouldn't have a team. It's good to know that the Clippers were ready to boycott if Sterling wasn't banned and rightfully so. I wouldn't want to play for a racist owner even if I was making good money. Well...I would continue playing, but I would request a trade because it would've been a matter of time before my money was looking funny. Sterling is protected by free speech, so he had the right to look stupid with his racist remarks. Make it so bad, he said it in private and STILL got caught up. The players could've raised hell, but they decided to be smart and let their rep speak on their behalf. Because of Adam Silver's quick action, he sent a message that racism will not be tolerated among NBA owners, and management.

I have no sympathy for Donald Sterling because he brought this on himself. If he would've kept his mouth shut, none of this would've happened. This situation proves one thing: Just because you have the right to say something, doesn't mean you should say it. You never know who's watching. In the corporate world, your comments will always come back to haunt you (for good or bad). Donald Sterling took a major loss: Lifetime ban from NBA (including any association with the league), possible mandatory sale of the Clippers, and a $2.5 million fine. The $2.5 million fine won't hurt him because he's a billionaire. I do hear he's facing millions in lawsuits from other issues. He's catching it from all sides, and Karma is running amok in his life. Donald Sterling has made racist comments all along, only this time he was caught. I wouldn't be surprised if further investigation was conducted on Sterling.

It's one thing to be prejudice, but to be a racist in authority is something else.



Father & Son

Steve Harvey Strawberry Letter: I met Richard at work. He was my boss, and we quickly developed a sexual relationship, but it wasn't just sex. It was my first grown-up relationship. I visited him at his home & spent the night. I had half my belongings in his house. We took trips together, holidays and celebrated birthdays together. It was an amazing relationship. Here is the problem, I was 22 when I met him, and he was 47. Even though he was a rich, gorgeous, and charming 47-year old, he was not the best in bed. I think this is where my interest began to develop for his 17 year old son, exactly 3 years into our relationship. I was getting bored; it was the same routine in bed. I thought to myself, I'm too young for this. Now keep in mind, I'm only 25 at the time and this 17 year old thought I was the sexiest most delicious thing that he has ever seen. Being Latina made that even more appealing to this kid. Long story short, one night it was just me and the kid. Both a little too intoxicated, and delved into our desires. Two years after that encounter, I'm stuck between a father and son who are at war with each other because they both claim to love me. I don't know what to do. I think I love them both.

 

This lady has earned a full scholarship to hell. She slept with an underage boy, and now she caused father & son friction. I don't understand what she sees in this kid. She should get someone her own age, and leave this kid alone. What could they possibly have in common other than having slept together? Oh I get it, he "loves" her. He loves her because he boned an older woman; this will score him big points with his friends for sexing an older woman. Aside from the legal issues, she caused a rift between a father & son. That was the drink talking because they were in the heat of the moment while making out. Liquid courage will bring out all kinds of emotions you never knew you had. That's all temporary because once that high wears off, you're back in reality. She had to know he sucked in bed prior to getting involved, and even then...given his age, he's not the same young stallion he was in his 20's and early 30's.

I know older (wo)men develop feelings for young (wo)men all the time, but that's acceptable if the couple is in adulthood. A 47-year old being attracted to a 32-year old is more acceptable than being 50 and dating a 19-year old, now that's just crazy. I doubt the father and son "love" her, they love sexing her; there's a difference. I'm looking at the mindset: A 47-year old and a 25-year old couldn't have anything in common because they're in two different stages in life. The 25-year old is still enjoying being young with no worries of later adulthood. The 47-year old has more wisdom from life experience, and is usually set in their ways. If kids are in the picture, the 25-year old will be forced into being a stepparent before their time. Not many 20-somethings are cool with being stepdad/mom so early in their lives.

She knows what to do, so she should stop playing stupid and keep it moving. This relationship is based on lust, not love. It's levels to this.