People First, Things Second

Question From A Friend: I have a question. Several men from facebook have asked when am I coming to see them, a couple offered to send me tickets. None have been my type. For one, my type wouldn't ask. He would come to me. Anyway, I haven't expressed that sort of interest, and I don't catty myself like that online. What gives?

MY RESPONSE: Simple. They want to enjoy your company. Doesn't matter if they're not your type, you never turn down free tickets, especially if they're paying. On to my sermon. I hear many people say People First, Things Second. What does that statement mean to me? To me, that means you value people over posessions, which is how it should be. Posessions will fade away, but people will remain forever, in most cases. Let me speak on People First, Things Second from a relationship standpoint. When two people are getting to know each other, they engage in small talk, along with probing questions. The probing questions are designed to gauge his/her outlook on life, their beginning, and how that has shaped the way they view the world, etc. An established (wo)man seeks a likeminded person, but also wants to be a husband/wife, and eventually have children. When family comes into the picture, a man's priorities change. It's not about going out with the fellas every night, it's about being there for your family so you can provide them with guidance through life's turbulent waters. A man's identity is tied with being a provider. Even the Bible states that a man who doesn't provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever. Many men don't understand that provision isn't necessarily about finances, but providing time, affection, and guidance to those under you. Once you (the man) are gone, your family is left to carry on your legacy. A man can leave a good or bad legacy for his family. A bad legacy involves a man putting his job ahead of his family; he's so focused on trying to move up the ladder, that his family is put on the backburner. The wife gets lonely, and may resort to adultery (which I don't condone, but I see why it happens). The kids wonder why dad's never home, and start doubting his love for them. Over time, the children become accustomed to their father being a workaholic, that they could care less whether he's there or not. A good legacy involves a man being there for his family, even at the expense of his job. He has the choice of missing his daughter's school play or son's football game in lieu of a big work project, that carries major implications: Big promotion with a 30% raise, with an appearance in Who's Who Magazine For Executives. The father puts his children first, even if he may not get that big raise by taking on that project. For him, seeing his children smile is far more important. It boils down to priorities: What a person values, goes into how they conduct their lives.

Respect Yourself

 

I approve this message 100%. If a woman doesn't respect herself, she can't expect a man to respect her. Respect will always be a 2-way street. The respect factor goes double for a couple in a committed relationship. What woman wants to spend her life with a man who doesn't respect her? No Bueno. Then again, some women have low self-esteem that they will tolerate disrespect from her man, so she won't have to be alone. Usually, these women are tired of being alone so they settle for a no-good man. I feel like this: A disrespectful woman DOES NOT deserve respect from anyone, let alone a man. Look at her ratchet conduct, and tell me you would respect a woman who's acting out of character. I have a hard time respecting women WHO don't behave in a worthy manner. It's very simple: To get respect, you have to earn it. There are some women who believe ALL women deserve respect, regardless of how ratchet she is. I have a hard time following logic like this. I appreciate the loyalty of some women, but the stand-up women can easily become tainted by the unruly ones. There's a saying that I go by, and it fits: The majority dictates the whole. Simply put, if the majority of people are foul, then the entire population is foul, even if a select few don't partake in foolishness. Stand-up women who condone disrespectful women are not a good look; What fellowship does light have with darkness? NONE. If you're condoning the actions of disrespectful women, then that means you support ratchet behavior; most likely you partake of such behavior yourself. In case some people forget the text in the picture, I will repeat myself: It's a man's job to respect a woman, BUT it's a woman's job to give him something to respect. Then again, I steer clear of nonsense, so that's why I don't have the conundrums of most people. I respect those who respect me; that will never change. Flipping the script, some women respect themselves and those around them, and many stand-up women STILL get disrespected by some men aka clowns. It's a Catch 22.

 

 

Socialite vs. Homebody, Can It Work?

Shout Out to Jeannine Carswell for this topic. If there's any definition of opposites, it's the Socialite/Homebody relationship. A socialite someone who participates in social activities and spends a significant amount of time entertaining, and being entertained at fashionable events attended by others of similar standing. Socialites are often in the top 1-2% income bracket, so in a sense, they can afford to participate in social events. A homebody is a person who prefers home-based activities; they're a stay-at-home person. If there's a good example of opposites, it's the socialite/homebody relationship. Socialites like to be out & about, whereas homebodies prefer home activities. Homebodies aren't concerned with being seen, although their relationships center around those of similar standing. Can a homebody and socialite work? Yes & No. Yes, because if they have a common goal, and are willing to work towards that purpose; they should be able to have a successful relationship. No, because the homebody may want to spend time with a socialite (wo)man, and if (s)he has to compete for time, that poses a problem. Socialites have many demands on their time, that I'm willing to guess many of them are unmarried. Homebodies have periods where they are out & about, but much of their time is spent at home. A homebody's best bet is to seek out a likeminded person. They can spend all their time in the confines of their home. There is someone for everyone, let's make that clear. Just like socialites are better suited for socialites because fellow socialites understand time committments, the same applies for homebodies. Only in extreme cases can socialites and homebodies work, because both parties take time to understand each other's lifestyles. It takes a lot of understanding on both sides, and many people don't have the patience for it.

Justice For All? I Can't Tell

 

Anyone who has recited the Pledge Of Allegiance, knows the last sentence: One Nation Under God, With Liberty, & Justice For All. In a perfect world, there would be Justice For All, but we live in a flawed society so you do the math. When I think of Justice For All, I envision JUSTICE FOR ALL. That's what the statement is supposed to mean, right? Wrong. As evidenced in the Trayvon Martin trial, the facts can be in your favor and you still get no justice. What are you supposed to do then? Keep fighting for justice. Trayvon Martin's parents have filed a civil suit against Zimmerman, and they should. Don't let this slide; Not Guilty doesn't mean the case is over. When it comes to your family, you can't let things slide. You have to fight for your family because no one else will. Trayvon Martin's parents are in my prayers, that they will get some kind of justice for their son. Even though the criminal justice system failed them, they still have some hope. Only this time, I hope things work out for the Martins. People are expected to have faith in a flawed criminal justice system, because IT'S THE LAW. Well, how can one have faith in something that's proven to favor a select few? Let me explain: Two people commit the same crime (one black, and working class; one is white and in the top 1% of incomes.) They are charged with 1st degree murder, let's say the black killed someone in self-defense (similar to the way Zimmerman did Trayvon). The evidence clearly shows the black man killed in self-defense, whereas the white man deliberately shot someone. Who do you think is going to get off? The white person, because he will be able to afford top-notch legal representation. It's true that with the right amount of money, you can buy the best of anything, including legal representation. Sorry, but the black person will be charged with 1st degree murder, even though he has a strong case, and all evidence points to him shooting in self-defense. I can seriously understand why some blacks have little to no faith in the criminal justice system, because it has been slighted towards African-Americans for the longest. It's mess like this that's why I don't want to bring children in this world. I do NOT want my kid(s) subjected to wanton foolishness, and unfairness. I just pray that no other parent has to endure what Trayvon Martin's parents are going through.

R.I.P. Trayvon Martin

Trayvon Martin was destined for greatness, until he was snuffed out by George Zimmerman.

 

Patricia Grundy Vann

This is a poem I penned when Trayvon was first slain. R.I.P...

No justice

Gunned down like a dog
Not even a threat
The street where he walked
Now bloody and wet

Could be my son or your son
Does anyone care?!
This cross of injustice
We ALL have to bear

Shout from the hilltop
Scream in the valley
Our babies are hunted
Too many to tally!

Not bangin' or slangin'
Not harassing nobody
Please hear our cries
Acknowledge our plea!

Stand up and be counted
Someone has to act
to another life lost
We are forced to subtract.

We don't understand
We can't comprehend
They slaughter and attack us
When will it end?

This hunter, this killer,
This murderer walks free!
The same as the days
They would lynch us from a tree!

We cry till we're hoarse
And Weep til we're dry
Goodnight our sweet angel
We'll see you on high.



Athletes Better Wake Up

She's At It Again: Wade's Ex Sues For $1 Million

 

If memory serves me correctly, Siohvaughn (Wade's ex) cheated on Wade first, and tried to keep him from his children. Wade files a lawsuit, and is granted FULL custody. As time goes on, she's still seeking more money from Wade. Whenever money's involved, you figure out someone's true colors real fast: Who your true friends are, who's hanging with you for fame & fortune, etc. If I'm ever in a position of influence, I'm keeping my circle extra small, because I don't want NOBODY on my team for ulterior motives. These athletes better wake up! They get fame & fortune, and lose their senses; marrying the first woman they see, because she's attractive. Forget what her body's like, he better figure out what her character is like. I guess it's true that when a woman is scorned, she will do everything in her power to make your life hell. This is more reason for me to be thankful of my singleness, so I can avoid these issues. Wade and Gabrielle Union are happy (so far), but should things go sour between them, who's to say Gabby won't pull a similar stunt? You don't know. Wade's ex sounds greedy, I'm just saying. What happened to the money she received from the last settlement? She probably spent it on lavish items, and expensive vacations. If a rich athlete is going to marry, he needs to use extra caution in who he wants to spend his life with. There are some women who are after a man's pockets. She doesn't have to work, because he's making millions of dollars. They divorce, and she gets half. Oh, asking athletes to use wisdom before they marry the first woman they see is too much like right. Before the fame & fortune, many pro athletes weren't given the time of day by women. As soon as the fame & fortune, every woman within a 50 mile radius wants him. Here's the catch: He married a woman who was supporting him when his family didn't. She and her family took him in when he was in need, before all the money. This is just one of those situations where he decided afterward, that he wanted something (or someone else) and now he will have to deal with the consequences. I do believe if someone's family have supported your dreams, then once you blow up, they should share in your success. I do remember Wade's humble beginnings on Chicago's Southside, where he was homeless. I respect Wade's rags to riches story, and he deserves his success. I do think the ex-wife needs to pull herself together and move on. As long as he does right by their kids, that is all she can really ask for now. She being his friend, wife and mother of his children allowed him to pursue his dreams. I don't think any woman should get half, but there should be some kind of living compensation for him ending the marriage. My hope is they can be civil for their kids' sake, because the kids suffer in all of this.

Won't Know My Business!

Seems like everyone is coming out with a Tell-All book nowadays. A tell-all book is a story involving one or more people, and a celebrity. These people give details of their experiences with an influential person. This celebrity wines & dines him/her, they usually sleep together, etc. I don't know how some people can be so open. True, you should keep it real, but some things don't need to be disclosed. Some people are very foul, and when a disagreement arises, they use your information against you. Knowing this, KEEP YOUR BUSINESS TO YOURSELF. To me, a tell-all book is another money-maker for some people: If I sing like a song about what I did with this, that, and the third person, people will buy. After all, people like juicy details. I'm very private, so there's no way I'm airing my business on Front St. Think about it, people have access to my most private details of my life; there's no telling what their intentions are. If you want to test how foul some people are, here's a good way to do it: Tell someone your deepest secret(s), and trust them enough NOT to put you on blast. If they air you out, they're grimy and cannot be trusted. If a week or so goes by, and no one knows, they're legit. Some people can be trusted to keep secrets, others can't. Not everyone can be trusted; it's sad, but that's life. People Are People: They're going to lie, cheat, steal, mistreat you, etc. Through it all, you learn who's legit, and who's flaw. Many times, the motive behind tell all books is revenge. Someone was hurt, so they hold a grudge against the person for years, and all of a sudden: They write a tell all book, and people eat that up. The internet is notorious for this. Some people put their lives on Facebook, and they need to be careful. Do they realize something called identity theft? People steal your information and wreak havoc. I would never put my life story on Facebook, because I have sense enough to know some people have nothing better to do than blast you out, and I can't have that. If people want to know something about me, just ask. Just know, I have discretion in what I reveal about myself to people. Families warring with each other, putting their business on Twitter & Facebook, and people gobble the gossip up. That goes against everything I believe. Work out your issue(s) amongst yourselves, but don't blast each other out. That's not right, and it makes one look stupid. I could not see myself going on VH1 or BET, telling my business.