A Tragic Situation

This is today's Strawberry Letter from the Steve Harvey Morning Show:

 

Letter: Hi Steve and the Morning Show: I am in a tragic situation, and I don't know what to do about it. I am engaged to be married in a few months, and I am sleeping with a married man. I love my fiance with all my heart, but I'm falling in love with this married man. Granted, I do tell my fiance what bothers me and what makes me unhappy, but he's so busy it goes through one ear and out the other. When I am with this man, he makes me feel like I am the only person in the world. Something my fiance is lacking because he is busy all the time. I am realistic though because I don't want him to leave his wife, nor am i going to leave my fiance. I know that what I am doing is dead wrong, but it feels so right. Honestly, I want to tell him so we can work through our issues, because I don't want to go into my marriage with this lie. One lie leads to many more. I suggest that we go to counseling, and put God in our relationship. It kills me everyday to look at him and know what I am doing. The worst part is he has no clue because I always keep it cool. The big question is will he be able to forgive me for what I have done. It's a big mess. I have always asked God for a good man, then I finally get one and this is what I do. Believe me, I know if the roles were switched, there would not be anything he could say for me to forgive him so I know how he is going to feel. I just don't want my fiance to be hurt. I am willing to do anything to fix this, and make this right but I don't know where to start.

 

My Response: She doesn't want her fiance to be hurt? Really? Too late for that, because he already is. For her sake, she better hope he doesn't find out because if so, she might wind up on First 48. Just because he's busy gives her no right to be a loose heifer and sleep with another man, A MARRIED MAN at that. Unfortunately, sorry women like her usually end up with good men, and the good men become jaded from being done wrong, so they take it out on good women. This chick kills me calling this a tragic situation. Leave the married man alone, and seek counseling anyway, then tell your fiance how you feel. I can't tell his investment because she was too busy trying to justify what she was doing. Also, God should have been in this relationship from the beginning, not just months away from getting married. He could be busy all the time because he's trying to make extra money to pay for the wedding. Did she think about that? Probably not. Most women are focused on their man not being there for her, when there's a good reason why. Between work & extracurricular activities, most couples are lucky to get a few hours to themselves. She wants a pass for her transgression, but if he cheated on her behind her back, she would dump him and not turn back. It's going to be a tragic situation for her if he finds out; there's no telling what he will do. Some women DO NOT deserve a good man, because it's obvious many of them don't know what to do with a good one.



ABSENTEE FATHER: "Dead Beat Dad or Sorry Mother"

The following commentary from Jai Duval is brutally honest & contains profanity, so excuse the cuss words. This needs to be told straight, no chaser.

 

 

 

I am just about TIRED of the EXCUSES that WEAK, NO BACKBONE, PATHETIC single and married males ALLOW females to use due to THEIR irresponsible and inappropriate SEXUAL behavior. Why is the MAJORITY afraid to simply tell it like it is?

By the way, THE LOVING MOTHER posted her child's face on the internet and I decided to hide the identity. As usual, here is ANOTHER FEMALE that will even USE HER CHILD to get back at a man for HER irresponsible actions.

[DISCLAIMER]

This DOES NOT APPLY to mentally retarded females that are incapable of making rational decisions.

This DOES NOT APPLY to females who have been forcibly ABDUCTED, continuously RAPED until she conceives and gets pregnant, KEPT CAPTIVE until child birth and then the male simply ABANDONS her and the child or children.

This DOES NOT APPLY to females with a child or children who's father is not present due to unfortunate and uncontrollable circumstances (criminals incarcerated or died due to their activity does not count)

This DOES APPLY to every other female regardless of race, color, creed, religion, education or economic status that the above does not apply to.

[END OF DISCLAIMER]

Anyone that knows me know that I have a GENUINE concern for decent people be it adult or child. I am especially concerned about a child's development such that they grow up with a positive attitude thus becoming a respectful and productive member of society.

[EXCERPT FROM ANOTHER POST]

Oprah Winfrey’s recent series, "Life Class - Fatherless Sons".

Sadly, the United States leads the world in fatherless families, with one-third of American children growing up without their biological father. Nearly 40 percent of children in father-absent homes have not seen their dad during the past year, and more than half of all fatherless children have never been in their dad's presence or home.

If you had the opportunity to view Oprah’s "Fatherless Sons" episode, you would have witnessed the deep anger, hurt and emptiness that was so evident on the faces of the 150 men in her audience.

[MATURE QUESTIONS]

1. ARE WE GOING TO SIMPLY SAY THAT FEMALES ARE INCAPABLE OF MAKING MATURE and RESPONSIBLE DECISIONS? I can go along with that IF she publicly states, "I am incapable of making responsible decisions when it comes to sexual behavior and therefore I can't be blamed for getting knocked up by some dead beat that just want some pussy".

2. WHY ARE THESE SONS FATHERLESS? Has anyone bothered to examine HER behavior and just maybe it was LEAVE or GET ARRESTED FOR BEATING HER TRIFLING and VIOLENT ASS?

3. WHY ISN'T HER POOR CHOICE IN A MAN THE REASON? The dead beat male (which there are many) seems to be the perfect EXCUSE to divert from her choice in him.

4. WHY ISN'T SHE BEING QUESTIONED REGARDING RESPONSIBLE SEXUAL BEHAVIOR? There are more than enough methods available to prevent pregnancy and there is the "Plan-B" pill to increase her chances of preventing conception.

[EXPECTATIONS]

I do EXPECT mature, responsible women (that are concerned about children) to realize that THEY DO have CONTROL over the types of males THEY WILLINGLY CHOOSE to engage in responsible or irresponsible sexual behavior with.

I do EXPECT scandalous, immature, irresponsible Ho's and Bitches (that don't give a shit about anyone but themselves) to argue with me therefore it would be a waste of time trying to make my point with them.

I do EXPECT the RETARDED females to MAYBE argue with me but I understand their lack of ability to comprehend fully therefore it would be a waste of time trying to make my point with them.

 

 My $.02: I co-sign & pay the full note with interest on this! It's funny how men are crucified for being deadbeats, but if some women don't take responsibility for their child(ren), she gets sympathy: She doesn't have the funds, where is the father, etc. It must be great to be a woman in today's society: You get immunity, and special treatment. You know something, getting some women to take responsibility for their poor choice in men is too much like right, and we all know women are Daddy's Little Girls, raised to feel as though they can do no wrong. Many women don't object to the favor shown them because they benefit. Why would you object to special treatment? That would be silly. In the end, it's the child who suffers because in cases with boys, a mother CANNOT teach a boy how to be a man. She can teach him aspects of manhood: Responsibility, loyalty, respect, and independence, but she will never be able to impart manly wisdom. Only a man can teach a boy about manhood, just like mothers can only teach daughters how to become women. Sadly, the United States leads the world in fatherless families, with one-third of American children growing up without their biological father. Nearly 40 percent of children in father-absent homes have not seen their dad during the past year, and more than half of all fatherless children have never been in their dad's presence or home. I feel like this: Just like men are expected to take responsibility for getting a woman pregnant, women should be held accountable the same way for letting him get up in her cooch.

 

Enough Is Enough

The following commentary is from Tee Wallbanger, who happens to be on my FB friend list. It was too good NOT to share. Here we go:

 

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
Please stop with all this king and queen nonsense! If you are not holding down the land that you own without paying government taxes on it, are not taking over ownership of other areas ( barren or occupied), if you have no riches of your own without relying on the government to pay you and not having the government's hand in your cash to take taxes out of it before or after it reaches your hands, if you have no respect, power or dominion over your own area or even within your own household or estate; if you have no legacy or estate to hand down to someone while your here or after your gone, you cannot be considered regal nor royalty.

Regalia must be "earned", not boastfully self-proclaimed without proof to back it up. Royalty does not have to be self-proclaimed. It is highly visible for all to see and open to everyone's respect and admiration.
If you wanna be regarded as KINGS and QUEENS, then PROVE IT WITH YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS!
* END TRANSMISSION*

 

My $.02: If someone refers to themselves as King/Queen, it must be true, right? I don't know of any other race that does this more than some blacks. Yes, some blacks may come from a line of kings & queens, but today's blacks act nothing like kings/queens. Last I checked, a king has his affairs together, and a queen carries herself with such grace. Today's black people have NO JUSTIFICATION to call themselves kings/queens, because if you look around, you'll see various instances of conduct contrary to being a king or queen. Whatever to make people feel good about themselves, that's what they'll adopt. You don't have to be a king/queen, but you can refer to yourself as one, and it's all good. If I'm going to refer to myself as royalty or a king, best believe I have something to show for it. THE END.

Question From A Friend

Do you think it's un-natural or abnormal for a man or woman, but ESP a man, to be alone when God says He made a helpmate suitable for him? So, if he hasn't found that helpmate, doesn't that mean he (the man) is disconnected from God in some way or is controlled by his own ego?

 

This was my response: Good question. Yes & No. Most men, like women want to spend the rest of their lives with that special person, so why would a man or woman reject the person God sends in their life? Especially if they help him/her be the best person possible. Then again, some people don't want a relationship & that's fine. Depending on their calling, it may be best if (s)he stays single, so they can devote their life to their calling. I don't think God will punish someone if they choose to stay single. Many men (like women) make a conscious decision to remain single, because most men have low tolerance for BS (same as women). Depending on the woman, some men will work with a woman to help her be her best. Most times, if she's not on point like he is (being on point varies for each person), it's game over.

 

 Follow-Up Question: That's ego though, isn't it? In other words when God presents the person, and our EGO says, he's not perfect, she's not perfect, aren't we using our selfish desires and thwarting our blessing? Aren't people making mate selection too hard?

 

My Response:

It is ego, but most men won't admit it. People require of others what they lack in themselves. If your man or woman was perfect, how would that work out?

I think some people make mate selection harder than necessary. Ask God for discernment in choosing the right mate, and he won't let you get jammed up with the wrong person.

Looking at today's world with divorce, domestic abuse, etc., many folks are like "forget this, if this is what relationships are like, I want no part of it."



Complain About Your Boss? You're Fired.

Man Fired After Facebook Post

 

Stories like this seem to be more commonplace: Man complains about his boss, and he gets fired. When will people learn? You cannot complain about your company and/or manager without repercussions. He complained on FACEBOOK, one of the top social networking sites on the web. He should've known there were spies. His so-called "friend" snitched to his boss, and this guy was terminated. Every company has a social networking presence: Company employees to senior executives all have Facebook accounts, so it behooves employees to watch what they post. Never post anything that could come back to haunt you. Don't people realize that many co-workers strategically send friend requests to co-workers in order to jam them up? A co-worker adds a few colleagues to their Facebook friend list, these "friends" rarely, if ever post on their wall, but they are sitting on the low waiting for you to slip up, so they can run to their manager about what you said about the company. Next thing you know, you're in the big boss's office looking crazy trying to explain yourself. I'm sorry, but I won't give anyone information to use against me. That's why I'm VERY CAREFUL about what I post online. If I can't stand behind what I say offline, I don't say it on the book. Matter of fact, co-workers SHOULD NOT be Facebook friends because you can't trust anybody. Co-workers who have each other on their friend lists get my goat. In my head, I'm thinking: How lame is that? You guys can't meet anyone outside of work so you resort to friending each other on Facebook.

 

 

 

Doing Right With No Compensation

The man in the picture is Charles Ramsey. He was in the news for rescuing 3 women who were kidnapped and forced into sexual exploitation for 10 YEARS. These women were raped multiple times and forced to do God knows what. I'm just glad these women made it out alive, although they may need psychological therapy to heal from this ordeal. I don't know of any woman who has gone through what these women did, and NOT underwent therapy. He was offered a reward and turned it down, because he wanted the reward money to go to the rescued women. His heart was in the right place, but here's a comment from Katina Person (Facebook friend) who, told it like it was:

 

"Everyone is praising this dude because he said to give the reward money to the girls. WHATEVER! If there is reward money and if he doesn't take it for himself, he's a fool. Those girls are going to get paid. Period. Look at that Dugard girl or whatever her name is. They found her. She was on People, giving interviews day and night. She got paid for ALL of that. They are going to get book deals, maybe a reality show, who knows? Depending on the agent they get, and how they play it. But what is he going to get? Talking about he has a job. That's for NOW. In this economy, we all know jobs are guaranteed. He's in OH too? I hope he has someone like me in his life, talking sense to him, lol."

 

I share her sentiment, because if you're offered reward money for a noble deed, YOU TAKE IT. Say thank you, and move on. His heart was in the right place, and I can respect that, but sometimes you need compensation for the good you do. I believe he just wanted to make sure that after all they had been through him getting a reward shouldn't be the focus. Often, our hearts are in the right place but our brain needs to get in the right place too!

 

 





Ride Or Die Woman By Kim Ward

Kim Ward (a Facebook friend) wrote a very powerful post in the No More Nonsense Facebook Group. It was so well-written, I had to share! Here It Is.

 

Men tell us that they want a ride-or-die chick. They want a woman that is committed and one that won't head for the hills when times get rough. We are critical of a woman that don't stand by their man- even after he has lost the third job in as many months or after he has been unemployed for the past 2...3...4 years. We tell her that times are hard. "Things are rough for a Black man." We guilt trip her and tell her that a lot of it is her fault and we tell her that men need a woman that is ride-or-die.
As a woman, you don't want to be one of "those" women. You know the type. The woman who talks too much. The nag. The type of woman your man hears his friends talk about in the barbershop. You have a "good" thing and you proudly ride shotgun as your man steers your relationship... over a cliff. You are ride-or-die.
At what point is it okay for your "ride" to end? Is it after you find out that he got Shanekanaynay pregnant? Or is it after you are tagged in a picture that shows your man "getting it in" at a party full of twerking women when you thought he was watching the game over his boy's house? Do you ride-or-die your way to the clinic for the third time this year because stuff down there is just not right?
Some women feel that ride-or-die means turning in their drivers license and giving up the right to plat their own course. That couldn't be any further from the truth. You should only be ride-or-die for a man that is willing to ride-or-die with you.