Riding Solo

I have a soft spot for loners. To see people go through life on their own is sad to me. We were created for companionship, a basic need all humans have. There's nothing like feeling close to another person, being able to count on them in your of need and vice versa. The problem is letting the WRONG people into your life. When you let the wrong people into your life, you become jaded from being hurt repeatedly. You can choose to do soul-searching to figure out why you attract toxic people in your circle orrrr....you can write everyone off as sorry, it's up to you. Toxic people have no room in my circle so they can stay from around me. I want people that are going to push me towards my goals and overall, motivate me to be the best I can for myself. Not everyone is right to be in your life, I get that. I'm the first to say you should have a screening process in place to weed out the unqualified candidates. It's worked for me because I've been able to avoid unnecessary bitterness from creeping into my life by being jaded. That's not a good look for me. Many times, you don't have to weed people out of your life because they do it for you. I can't see how some people go through life solo, no friends & family, acquaintances, no support system, etc. It's like they're just existing. I admire self-made people who have gotten to where they are with no help from others. Those people have been told no countless times but they didn't let it stop them. Self-made people usually have very few, if any (other than family, and even family can be your biggest haters) people in their corner. Then again, some people are loners by choice. They enjoy their solitude so I can't fault them for that. Why place yourself around toxic people if you don't have to? I like being around people but most of the time I ride solo. You don't always need people in your corner to be happy in life. Sometimes, being a loner is a good thing.

Why God, Why?

If anyone says they've never questioned God, they're lying. All of us has questioned God whenever stuff goes wrong in our lives. It's natural because many times, situations happen that are out of our control and we want to know why God would allow this. The Bible mentions that God reigns on the just & unjust. It's not fair that one person can mess it up for everyone but that's what I gather from God raining on the just and unjust. Reminds me of my school days where one kid did wrong and the whole class got punished. You can be faithful & obedient, live by the word and still have to face the same wrath as a sinner. I can truly understand why most non-Christians don't want to come to Christ because if they see Christians going through worse situations than them, what's the point? It's not wrong to question God as long as it's to find your calling or ask why some people have a good start in life and others have the odds stacked against them. When you see someone who had a good start in life whereas you had to fight for everything you got, you're going to ask God why did they have everything handed to them and you had to hustle for yours? Some people go through so much in life (out of their control) they end up turning their back on God. Why live for Christ and you go through more as a Christian than in the world? Now I would NEVER turn my back on Christ but I have wondered the rationale of living for God when you're predestined to go through hell? Those same people you used to run with before you got saved aren't checking for you anymore because you tightened up. At the same time, I realize God is not required to explain himself to anyone, myself included about why he does what he does.

You Can't Be Pimped If You're Not Willing To Be The Ho

Some people make me sick to my stomach, they really do. I sometimes wonder if I'm the only person with my priorities in order because I don't run out to get every new product that hits the market. If I buy a product and it serves me well, why would I get the same product? True, the new product may have new & better features but if what I have is working for me, I'm keeping it. Take the IPhone 5 for example, $500+ retail price and you had folks standing in line for hours waiting for the release. Apple already has the IPhone 6 coming out at the turn of the year so I expect this madness to continue. Shakes Head. There used to be a time where people were content with their current position but every time a new product hits the market, people racing to get it. Most people get IPhones because of the name and not because the product meets a need; marketing pimping at its finest. Some people forefited their rent & car note for that IPhone 5; hope the IPhone was worth that eviction notice and repo notice. I like nice things but bills come first. Anything leftover is for play-play or I put that in savings. People that aren't used to nice things go buck wild when the latest gadget hits the market. Student loans are the same way; students take out thousands of dollars that have to be repaid and in this economy, many of them can't find jobs or they have to take jobs below them until they find a job in their field. Part of the blame is on the student because some students pick useless majors instead of picking fields with the strongest job growth. In order to be pimped, you have to be willing to be the ho. You have to bend over to be screwed or for monkeys to ride your back. How about employment? Most college graduates end up not working in their fields so what's the point of having a degree in Biology and you can't get a job in that area? Because of the economy, companies are cutting back so current employees are having to do more with less; some employees haven't gotten raises in 3-4 years. This is the "new" way of doing business. Veteran employees are being laid off in favor of younger workers who are willing to take less wages because they're desperate for experience. That's a form of pimping. Prostitution works especially well because a hooker solicits clients for services only to give the money to her pimp. She rarely, if ever gets a cut of the profits. It's shameful that people will virtually go broke trying to keep up with the latest fad.

Strength vs. Belligerence

Some women got the word strength mixed up. They feel they should be able to talk crazy to their man and he not speak up. Not going to work. A man will always chin-check anybody that tries him crazy. When a man is strong enough to tell a woman she's full of crap, she starts to attack his manhood, says he hates women, bla bla bla. That's her only defense because she knows deep down she was wrong for what she did. Make it so bad, this woman is supposed to love & care for her man and she acting stupid towards him. No wonder most men don't want a relationship because some women are not high caliber. When you love someone, YOU DO NOT drive him away under any circumstances, NO MATTER WHAT. I don't care if she's hurting, going through rough times, etc. That doesn't give her a pass to unfairly unload on her man. The funny thing is, some women love to respond with "you can't handle a strong woman bla bla bla" So, handling a strong woman entails loving her even if she's acting stupid? Try that on a man with a GED because it gets none over here. Thank goodness I'm single because with the quality of women diminishing daily, I'm not missing much by choosing not to date. Besides, I'm in a good place in life where things are falling in place and no woman is going to jeopardize that. I'm a strong man...I'm strong enough NOT to tolerate foolishness from any woman that's supposed to love and care for me. Some of these men disgust me with how they continually show love to their wife/girlfriend/fiancee even if she's not being lovable back to him. I'm like "Grow a pair man, seriously." No woman wants a man that will allow her to talk stupid to him. A person can  take so much craziness until they put you in your place. At the same time, if a man doesn't engage a belligerent woman then I have respect for him because he's smart enough not to play her silly game. Let her look stupid by herself; an argument requires two participants. If a man chooses to get involved with a belligerent woman who challenges him on every front, he should have known how she was. He loses all rights to complain because he did not use the discernment to cut her loose.

For Better Or Worse Pt. 2

Yesterday I touched on the unfortunate scenario of a woman carrying a rapist's child and how it would affect not only her but the husband as well. The husband is pissed (and rightfully so) because he couldn't protect his woman from that horrible ordeal and she wants to keep the child, but he wants her to get an abortion. They don't believe in abortion but I understand why the husband would want his wife to get one. Carrying a scumbag's child would be a constant reminder of the incident and nobody wants to relive horrific memories. The husband INSISTS on his woman getting an abortion but his wife doesn't want to give up the child because she sees the child as a blessing even though it came into the world under horrible circumstances. This begins to drive a wedge in their marriage because both spouses will not budge. The mother needs to prepare for the possibility of single motherhood and honestly, I wouldn't blame the man for walking because for one thing his wife was attacked and two, she wants to keep the child. Here's the catch: The husband was unable to make a baby due to low sperm count or some other unforeseen circumstance. His woman was there for him so in a roundabout way, she's asking the same of him. She could have left her husband when he couldn't make children but she stood by him and he's unwilling to do the same for her. The husband has every right to feel as he does and as crazy as it sounds, so does the wife. God answered the woman's prayer for a child even if it came through rape; not what the husband had in mind but the child is a part of them. I can't help but think keeping a rapist's child is the rapist's way of rubbing it in her husband's face, like "I did what you couldn't do, which is give your woman a child". To suggest that God would allow this to happen is crazy because God would never willingly put his children through hellish circumstances. Some trials God spares us from and others he allows his people to go through knowing they will be for his glory and our benefit. I can honestly see how scenarios like this could make or break a marriage. In some states, if a woman is raped and gives birth to a rapist's child, the rapist does have parental rights.

For Better Or Worse

A woman is raped by two men and gets pregnant by one of the rapists, she views the child as a blessing from God but her husband feels otherwise. His first thought is to get revenge on the scumbags for violating his woman in that manner. She's wanted a child for a while but couldn't have one because her husband couldn't produce sperm. Does the wife have an abortion or carry the child to term? Keep in mind the couple doesn't believe in abortion. The husband is more upset at the fact he couldn't protect his woman than the pregnancy. He feels as though he shouldn't be made to take care of a child not biologically his but the wife has wanted a child forever and now they have one, he wants her to have an abortion because the child came into the world under horrible circumstances. This would not be an easy decision for me so me and my woman would have a long discussion about this because we need to be prepared for the worst. Should she want to keep the baby even though it came under terrible circumstances, it would take everything in me to support her decision even though I would have every reason to feel otherwise. Keep in mind, she was there for him when he couldn't produce sperm for a child and in a way, she's asking him to do the same for her. I hope I never have to go through this ordeal but if so, my belief system would be tested. Normally I don't go for abortion but in rape cases, I can understand why women get them because why bear a child under hellish circumstances? That's not right. Then again an abortion would be just as foul as rape itself so canceling a sin with another is moot. This is one of those situations where For Better Or Worse would be tested. Everyone has their own belief system but there comes a time where beliefs are tested. Do you stand on your belief(s) even under intense pressure or stand your ground in secret but not in public? Unfortunately, many people stand up for their beliefs in private but not in public. The greatest leaders in history have stood their ground regardless of unpopularity or approval. They didn't let popular opinion sway them and to me, that makes a great person. Conceiving a child from rape would be one of those "What the devil meant for evil, God meant for good" stories. Rape is a horrible ordeal and I would hate for any woman to be faced with the decision of aborting a rapist's child or raising the child as their own.

You're A Great Catch, Oh Really?

In relationships, people put their best foot forward in hopes of attracting Mr(s) Right. No one wants to paint themselves in a bad light so many people play up to their strengths in hopes of hooking their desired mate. Whenever I hear men & women talk about being a good catch, in my mind I'm thinking they're full of it because if you're a good catch, you don't broadcast it because you're too busy showing better than telling. I don't bother telling people I'm this or that because I prefer to show better than tell. Most people have gotten so used to tooting their own horn they actually believe the lies that come out of their mouth. People learn enough about you by your actions. If you say you're a Christian but you rip & run the streets with no impunity, then have the nerve to be in church Sunday morning praising God, that's flaw. A woman can have 5 children by 5 different men and think of herself as a good catch. Miss, YOU HAVE 5 CHILDREN BY 5 DIFFERENT MEN; how does that make you a good catch? It doesn't. No man wants someone's leftovers. Most men keep it real with themselves. It seems to me women paint themselves as something they're not; not cool. If a man or woman says they're a good catch and they match it in their conduct & character, I take their word because they don't say they're a good catch, they live it. Actions will always speak louder than words. Whenever a man or woman says they're a great catch, be careful because 9 times out of 10, they're lying. They're saying that to absolve themselves of having to back up what they say. Don't just say you're a great catch, SHOW how you're a good catch. Otherwise, you're just saying that to hear yourself talk and many people will be able to see right through you. I'm a little annoyed when people say they're great catches when they have nothing to bring to the table. If I meet a woman and she tells me what a great catch she is, I will ask her HOW is she a great catch, and how she answers that question will determine how far the relationship goes because I don't want someone that says they're a good catch but has nothing to show for it. I expect the same in return from her; it goes both ways.