Leaf, Branch Or Root?

Tyler Perry periodically sends me inspirational e-mails so I will post a few here & there, this was too good NOT to share: WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU?


I said this in a play once as Madea... LOL. But I thought I'd revisit it as Tyler for those of you who may not have heard it :-)


I have this tree analogy when I think of people in my life, be it friends, family, acquaintances, employees, co-workers, whomever...They are all placed inside what I call my tree test. It goes like this:


LEAF PEOPLE
Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can't depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade. Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or a wind blows in your life they are gone. You can't be angry at them, it's just who they are.



BRANCH PEOPLE
There are some people who come into your life and they are like branches on a tree. They are stronger than leaves, but you have to be careful with them. They will stick around through most seasons, but if you go through a storm or two in your life it's possible that you could lose them. Most times they break away when it's tough. Although they are stronger than leaves, you have to test them out before you run out there and put all your weight on them. In most cases they can't handle too much weight. But again, you can't be mad with them, it's just who they are.



ROOT PEOPLE
If you can find some people in your life who are like the roots of a tree then you have found something special. Like the roots of a tree, they are hard to find because they are not trying to be seen. Their only job is to hold you up and help you live a strong and healthy life. If you thrive, they are happy. They stay low key and don't let the world know that they are there. And if you go through an awful storm they will hold you up. Their job is to hold you up, come what may, and to nourish you, feed you and water you.



Just as a tree has many limbs and many leaves, there are few roots. Look at your own life. How many leaves, branches and roots do you have? What are you in other people's lives?

Paraphrase: Reading this has helped me better understand what role people play in my life. Some people are meant for a season and some are meant for a lifetime. It's important to figure out which people fall into what category and treat them accordingly. If someone walks out of your life through no fault of your own, don't be upset because they fulfilled their purpose for that time. Not all relationships are meant to be close. It's the root people you want to keep on your team because they have been & will continue being there for you through it all. Branch people can only tolerate so much until they break. When that happens, you make a decision whether you want to help them develop into roots or cut ties with them. The choice is yours. I would rather have roots on my team than leafs or branches but again, reading this letter has helped me understand why some relationships last and others don't.

Settling Down

There comes a time where every man & woman decides to settle down. Some people catch on sooner than others but I think eventually everyone wants to settle down with that one person who gives us that motivation. Playing the field becomes tiring after a while because you're ripping & running with different people trying to find Mr(s) Right. No matter how long you play the field, people will never be satisfied because they're always looking for more. In their mind, this person provides what the others may lack. Some people never get tired of playing the field and that's fine; to each his/her own. I get bored real easy so if I was into playing the field, I would quickly outgrow it because I would desire someone that could hold me down through thick & thin (good & bad). This is why I think marriage is the answer to promiscuity because you can play the field for so long until you realize you want to settle down with that one man or woman. This person motivates you to change for the better so it's easier to settle down. Let's be real, if someone's not worth it there's no incentive to settle down, right? Right. A FB friend asked me the following question regarding my status: Do you think it's more in the timing that the person is ready to settle down & then find the one or is it both? I replied with both because you have to be ready to settle down before you start looking for the right one. Once you find Mr(s) Right, it's confirmation of your decision to settle down. Everybody has the capacity to settle down, it's a matter of the right person coming along to help them realize that. What it boils down to is this: Why play the field? If you have no intention of being in a relationship, by all means remain single because to me, ripping and running with different people signals some people have deeper issues that need to be dealt with.

Hit & Run

There was a time when people GOT TO KNOW each other before they slept together. In today's society, people are quick to sleep together before they take time to feel each other out. Where do they do that at? I mean really. People must be THAT hard up for physical affection that they give themselves to anything breathing. When the relationship fails (and it almost always will), both people are stuck looking crazy like why or how did the relationship fail? It should be obvious because a relationship that's built on lust won't last. There has to be a concrete foundation before the couple takes it to the next level. I must be the only man alive that would rather get to know a woman before deciding to sleep with her. Should I sleep with her, it will be within marriage confines because we would have discussed our expectations early on. Besides, giving yourself to the RIGHT person makes it much more enjoyable than giving it to everything with a pulse. Whenever two people sleep together, a child will always come into the picture because nobody had sense enough to use protection. It's one thing to bring a child into this world, but it's another to do it with someone you may not stay with long-term. He/She's Good Enough to Sleep With, But Not Good Enough to Have A Child By? That's craziness. People don't take relationships seriously anymore, it's bonk first and then get to know somebody. After a child is born, the parents realize they aren't compatible and split up. The child is split between two homes so they grow up not understanding the dynamics of a healthy relationship. Let me wrap my head around this: You and him/her slept & had a child together, THEN realize you two aren't compatible? REALLY? That's backwards thinking and it's that mindset that's why so many children are born out of wedlock. This is what separates me from most people: If a woman's not wife material, I'm not sleeping with her, period. Should I choose to have a child, it will be brought into the RIGHT environment where it can blossom. I've been asked on several occasions if I have children and I say "No." Some people are shocked at my answer but it's the truth. I guess they're so used to hearing about people my age with a kid or two that it blows their mind when someone's 31 with no child. I've got too much going on to THINK about having kids. Should I decide to go that route, my graduate education will be complete, business career off the ground, own a couple internet businesses and debt-free (which I already am). I don't want my children to struggle for NOTHING, which is why I'm doing it my way. This goes for men & women: Keep Your Legs Closed. If You're Not Going To Marry Him/Her, Don't Sleep With Them.

Guard Your Heart & Mind

GUARD YOUR HEART AND MIND: By Tyler Perry
 If you can get this, this will change your life. I was out taking my morning run. I love how still it is when I’m running. I can hear clearly and really commune with God. I wanted to share this with you. It’s a lesson I had to learn.

One of the keys to success is to be able to guard your heart. Now, usually when someone says guard your heart they are talking about keeping yourself from heartbreak. Although that is important (as long as you don’t go overboard... but that’s another conversation) that isn’t what I’m talking about. When we are born into this world we enter with such a pure heart but as we grow older situations, circumstances and people tend to make us change. Now I know it is nearly impossible to keep a childlike innocence in our hearts all of our lives, especially after people have betrayed, lied, mistreated and downright been the devil. Trust me when I tell you, I have seen it all. I have been there big time. If you’re like me you’ve been there too. But if this is your situation I want you to know two very important things about those moments of heartbreak. Number one, learn the lesson in it. See how it will work together for your good, because it will. Once you do, it’s easier to forgive and move on. Secondly, and this is just as important as the first one, you must not let that person or people change your heart. What do I mean by that? Well, if you are a giver and someone you have given to misuses your gift, don’t stop giving… just give to someone else. If you are a person that loves people and someone you love hates you, don’t stop loving… love someone else. Eventually, you will find people who appreciate your kindness and your love. Remember this, lots of people have been conditioned to not be able to accept purity of heart. They can’t take it in. Most times it’s not even their fault. It’s just what has happened to them on their journey in life. But don’t let them turn you into one of them. There will be a lot of people in your life who will not appreciate your pureness of heart. If they hurt you don’t stop being you, just be you with someone else.

Why is this so important? Because God blesses you according to what is in your heart. If you are being kind, giving, loving and sharing because it is in your heart and you are not looking for anything in return, then that is a heart that God wants to bless. If you change who you are because you’ve been hurt, then you’ve changed the thing that God wants to bless you according to, and that is your heart. The people who hurt you are not worth that. You can lose everything that you have, but don’t let anybody change your heart.

 

My theory: When I read this message, it was on point. One of the hardest things to do is stay true to yourself in spite of life's disappointments. It takes more strength to be yourself even if you have reason to change who you are because of unfortunate circumstances. I like what Tyler said about continuing to be loving regardless of people hurting you. It's true, just because one person hurts you, show love to someone else. The RIGHT people will appreciate you for YOU, not because of what you give them.



Bill Clinton full DNC Speech 2012

THIS is what you call a powerful speech! I'm listening to this right now and I'm tuned in. If there's anyone who can help Obama get this country back on track it's former President Clinton. Think about it, when Clinton was in office the economy was prospering. It's only when Bush got into office the economy tanked. When President Obama got into office, he inherited Bush's mess so you can't expect Obama to undo in 4 years what Bush created in 8. Obama's first term was spent cleaning up Bush's mess and hopefully he'll get another term (which I'm sure he will) so Obama will be able to put his plans into action. This speech gives me another reason to vote for President Obama. Being endorsed by President Clinton (greatest president in American history) will give any candidate an edge.

Christians In The Club

A Christian that's into nightclubs raises a red flag because last time I checked, Christians don't belong in nightclubs or strip joints for that matter. What business could a Christian man or woman have being the club? For me, sinful desires are elevated 30 fold being in a nightclub environment because there's always the temptation to indulge in something you have no business partaking of. Men and women grinding on each other and everybody knows how excited men get when an attractive woman grinds on them. It starts with grinding and will graduate to sexual activity. Last weekend I was doing research on this subject and came up on http://www.gotquestions.org/Christian-clubbing.html?fb_action_ids=4657473801596&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_ref=.UEJlmaFp7oA.like&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582. The aforementioned link explained Christian clubbing in great detail. In short, clubs aren't places for Christians because they provide a place to give oneself over to sinful desires. Combine drinks & grinding and something's bound to go down. To put it bluntly, nightclubs are part of the world which is controlled by Satan. They are designed for the purpose of giving oneself over to sinful desires. Nightclubs exist primarily for two purposes: drinking alcohol and meeting members of the opposite sex, most often with sexual activity in mind. Yes, there is music and dancing, but primarily singles in particular go clubbing to drink and meet someone. Nightclubs are of the world, and while Christians are to be in the world, we are not to be of it. Being of the world means to be interested in and desiring those things that appeal to the sinful nature. Now I know many Christians will argue "A Christian can go to the club just to have a good time" Therein lies the problem because you may start off having a good time in the club and then go back to their place for extracurricular activity. I've never been into clubs because they've gotten such a bad rep with shootings & murders. Every club someone has been to has at least a dozen fights, shootings & murders under it's belt. Why put yourself in that kind of environment? It's not only hood clubs that attract negativity but upscale establishments have been attracting negative attention for much the same things going on at hood clubs. There should be other ways Christians can have fun than by dropping it like it's hot and picking it back up in the club. Christians are held to a higher standard than the world and if a Christian is in the club acting just as bad, if not worse as an unbeliever, what incentive does the unbeliever have to come to Christ? NONE. Christians are an extension of God himself so it's important to represent Jesus. For me, the only clubs I'll go to are jazz/blues and lounges. Those are real chill spots you can listen to live music and still meet someone. They don't have the shoot-'em'-up ghetto thuggery of hip-hop clubs. At the same time, even if a Christian goes to a club to have a good time, just being there raises suspicion in unbelievers' eyes because unbelievers are saying "How can they call themselves a Christian and they're at the club doing the same thing we are doing, if not worse?" If I'm witnessing to someone and they see me in the club, that's going to raise suspicion & rightfully so. I can't look crazy talking one thing and doing another.

Appreciating Women For Who They Are

One of the common complaints women seem to have about men is that men don't know how to appreciate them for who they are. Usually there's some truth to that because some men will try to change the essence of who a woman is so she can be right for him. I could see if asking a woman to change is going to benefit her long term but abandoning the core of who you are as a person is not the move. Either accept a woman for who she is or bounce. That's why it's important for men to do their due dilligence because he doesn't want to get with the wrong woman only to find out she's not what he wants or expects her to be. Most men are worried about how big her booty is instead of getting to know her. A woman wants a man to appreciate her understanding, passionate side, point of view and the emotions that make up who she is. I don't think that's unreasonable at all because most men want the same from a woman. Most men appreciate women for who they are, but if she doesn't fit an ideal fantasy then they might as well not exist. In my view, some women can be irrational and mysterious at times but I have sense enough to know you can't change someone into who you want them to be. Either she's right for me or not. Men and Women should already be working on themselves so if any changes need to be made, that man or woman can make them solo; they won't have to depend on someone else to bring to their attention changes that need to be made. I've noticed a lot of men wanting women to think like men. If you've seen the movie Think Like A Man, this concept is discussed in detail. The premise behind thinking like a man is women understanding how a man approaches relationships. It also goes on to state how some men play on the mistakes women make when pursuing a mate. If women want men to appreciate them for who they are, it would behoove them to understand relationships from a man's point of view. Finding out how men approach relationships is how a woman gets to know her man. There isn't anything wrong with women being compassionate, sensitive, loving , passionate, clingy or needing space at times...... that's what men expect out of women, but just because the environment evokes certain things in a woman doesn't mean that a woman should turn her negative emotions towards her man or continuously be contrary, contradictory, neisty (nice & nasty), sarcastic, and argumentative with her man. That's tantamount to attacking him with a bludgeon. It's not that women will never think like a man, they CHOOSE not to. Let's make that clear. If you can't accept a woman for who she is, you don't need to be with her. When a man gets involved with his lady, he should do his due diligence to see if he can handle her complexity. That means seeing her at her best, worst and everything in between. It goes double for women as well; if you can't handle your man at his best and worst, hit the bricks and find someone you can tolerate. Men And Women have issues they need to fix. A man can receive correction and he won't fly off the handle because you know why? Men are used to getting their butts handed to them. We make the appropriate changes and move on. Society has babied women for too long that they've become spoiled. You can't tell them nothing because they'll get fighting mad and swing the rod of deflection. It seems like women receive correction better from a woman than a man & even then they may still have issue receiving it from their own kind (I've noticed that on these threads). Some women don't know how to keep it real with each other and instead co-sign sucker stuff. If I said the sky is blue and a woman said it's black, she'd get an entourage of other women co-signing even though I would be right. That's that bull right there. Whenever a woman says she'll change in her own time, fellas need to beware because that almost always means she has no intention of changing. Again, it goes back to my previous statement...Be careful who you choose as a mate; make sure they receive correction because it's no sense in you being about something and your mate don't want better for themselves. Any real man would appreciate the softer side of a woman, it's foolish not to. What man wants a woman to be a clone of himself? Not Richard. The issue is women want men to accept them with ALLLLLLLL their craziness but would women be able to accept a man's good & bad? Negative. Many women aren't strong enough to handle a man at his worst but expect him to take the good & bad of her. If you have a character flaw that is detrimental to the relationship and your man points that out, it would behoove you to make the adjustment. If he didn't care about you, he would leave you to your own demise. These are two of women's favorite sayings: If You Can't Handle Me At My Worst, You Don't Deserve Me At My Best and the other (this is their favorite): Take Me As I Am Or Watch Me Go. Those two ideologies are exactly why men and women will never be able to have a satisfying relationship. Men approach relationships from a linear/logical aspect...If I'm this, I want to attract this kind of woman and so on. If something's out of whack, he addresses it and the rest is on her. Make the adjustment or get gone. Women need to STOP trying to get men to be in touch with their emotional side. Men are not emotional, never have been and never will be.