State Of The U

The U Has Failed to Attract Recruits From Miami http://t.co/dkaX1fTYCp via @miaminewtimes

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 30, 2015

My thoughts on The U are shared by many fellow Canes fans, DISMAL. First off, what was The U thinking hiring Al Golden as head coach? He's too conservative in his coaching style, he doesn't let the players play. Former Canes coaches Butch Davis, Jimmy Johnson, Larry Coker all had one thing in common: They let their players PLAY. Who cares if the players were "hood"? The Canes' hood ways were what brought 5 National Championships to Miami. Teams were scared to play the Canes because athletes had a warrior mindset. They won by any means necessary, and that's what I respected about The U. I remember when The U dominated the 80's & 90's, and they had epic battles with fellow Florida squad Florida State Seminoles. Whenever FSU and Miami played, it was a game. Neither team was willing to let up and oftentimes, games went into overtime. The U was snatching recruits left & right, and even on National Signing Day, players would commit to The U at the last minute; that's how good The U was in football.

The U didn't just attract recruits from Miami high schools, but they also attracted recruits nationwide. If you were a high school star player, you grew up watching Hurricanes football and wanted to play for The U. Ray Lewis, Warren Sapp, Michael Irvin, Edgerrin James, Jeremy Shockey, Santana & Sinorice Moss, Willis McGahee and countless others came through The U. The U has produced more NFL talent than any other Division 1 school. That was then, and this is now: Since Al Golden was hired as head coach, he hasn't gotten the job done. Consecutive losses to beatable teams, dismal regular season records of 6-6 or 7-5. Canes fans are already sick of Al Golden, yet Al's not going anywhere. Here's my biggest issue with Golden: Golden already had a solid foundation laid for him, and all he had to do was carry on what the previous coaches have done. If I'm Al Golden, I'd stick to the proven formula for success, and wouldn't deviate. The downside of coaching is that each new coach has their own vision for the team and players, so they aren't trying to stick to the old formula, even if it's been successful.

Because of The U's fall from glory, they're losing recruits left & right. Players that used to want to play for The U are now going to other schools, and rightfully so. What talented athlete wants to play for a losing team? I wouldn't. I like to win, so I surround myself with winners. The U is suffering from brain drain, where talented high school football players from Miami-area high schools are leaving for other schools. Sure, The U is lucky to snag a few local talent, but nothing like they used to do back in the 90s. In conclusion, the State Of The U is not good, but it can turn around if Al Golden leaves, because he's done enough damage to the Canes football program.

The Field: Miami

I received this video on my Facebook wall from a friend, and I must say it's a well-done documentary on the REAL Miami. Anyone from Miami understands that Miami isn't just South Beach, but the real Miami has the hoods, poverty, violence and drugs. Each neighborhood profiled shows aspiring rappers telling their story through their music. Watch the video:

I Want A Promotion

When someone gets a job, hopefully they don't want to stay in the same spot 5 or 10 years from now. Many people should want to move up in the company, because that shows you're willing to stretch out of your professional comfort zone. It's fine to want a promotion, but if it comes at the expense of your peace of mind, you might want to scale back a bit. Every job I may have in the future, yes I want to advance in the company, but if I'm going to be stressed everyday, forget it. I would rather make the same money and have peace of mind, than land a promotion and have headaches everyday. I don't have time for that. As much as I've gone through in my life, I'm trying to keep my life stress-free as much as I can. That involves using my discernment to know that if I'm presented with an opportunity to get ahead, I'm gonna pray about it and request a week to weigh the pros and cons. If the pros outweigh the cons, I move forward. If the cons outweigh the pros, I'm falling back.

Promotions bring out the worst in people, because so much is at stake. You get a big pay increase, challenging projects, you get to network with higher-ups, and you're closer to the executive ranks. If a supervisor told their staff "Whoever has the best proposal for this project is in line for a promotion", the backstabbing is sure to fly. There will be people who will get ahead by any means necessary, even if they have to step on others to win. I couldn't go out like that. I get ahead the right way, because I want to sleep at night. One fact people learn about getting promotions: The higher up you go in the company, the more responsibility you'll have. Some people can handle the responsibility of a promotion, others can't, and that's ok. When it comes to promotions, make sure you know what you're getting into.

I'm Not A Virgin, But My Lady Has To Be One

Some men want their lady to be a virgin when he's slept with half the female population. Where They Do That At? #ThickerThanWater.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 27, 2015

I'm watching last night's Thicker Than Water when Cyrene and her boyfriend were chilling at the pool. They discuss sex when her boyfriend reveals that he's not a virgin. He asks Cyrene if she's a virgin and Cyrene says yes. That's good, right? Right, except for one problem: Her boyfriend has the nerve to say that he doesn't want a girl that's been with other guys sexually. Let me get this straight: Some men want their lady to be pure while he defiled himself with other women? I need to do some research to figure out where they do that at. If a man is promiscuous, he cannot expect his woman to be a virgin. No woman who's a virgin would want an experienced man because he's going to want to test drive her. He might as well get an experienced woman who would be comparable to him. Cyrene's virginity is very important to her, and she shouldn't allow her boyfriend to make her feel bad for it. Put it this way: If a man wants a virgin woman, he should be a virgin. If a man wants an experienced woman, he should be experienced as well. A couple must be compatible on all fronts in order for their relationship to work. I just think it's hilarious that some men believe they're entitled to a virgin woman when some of them have slept with everything walking. But hey, there's nothing wrong with wanting a higher caliber woman, right? Some men just need to make sure that before they demand their woman be a virgin, he's also pure himself. There's nothing worse than a non-virgin man and a virgin woman. 

Bull's Eye

The Bible was spot on when it said the enemy has a Bull's Eye on God's people. Whenever Satan targets God's children, it's for a reason: The devil doesn't like the anointing that's on someone's life, and Satan will come with everything he's got to ensure he derails a child of God from their calling. My heart goes out to all pastors and their wives for being willing to stand in the gap and be leaders to their congregation. It takes a strong (wo)man to shoulder the burden of leading their congregation to God. Ultimately, God can bring someone to him on his own, but pastors' responsibility is to point people to Christ. Pastors have burdens their congregation will never understand, because many pastors won't be open about their struggles. The reason is that the congregation looks to their pastor for spiritual guidance, and if the pastor can't keep it together, what does that mean for the rest of the congregation? Pastors are human just like everyone else, and it takes a brave soul to tell his congregation "I'm your pastor, but I'm human. I struggle just like you guys, but I know someone who has your back." It's important for Christians to keep their pastors in prayer, because pastors are fighting battles that their congregation may never know about. Pastors & spiritual leaders have taken on the charge of leading their congregation to God, and anytime someone's called into ministry, they can expect the enemy to come at them hardcore.

R.I.P? Only If You're Right With God.

Death should be nothing to cry over. That's passage to heaven (if your loved one was right with God).

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 20, 2015

Death is something we all experience: Some experience death earlier than others, but eventually everyone will have to come to terms with their pending demise. The best way to live is to the fullest because life has no rewind button. You can't go back and redo the opportunities you've passed on, the chances you had to tell that person how you feel about them, etc. If & when the time presents to do something, do it or you'll have that would've, could've & should've moment on your deathbed. Nobody wants to be on their deathbed with regrets. Most people (if they're honest) want to go to their deathbed saying they came, they saw & conquered all life had in store for them. In any event, should a Christian mourn at the loss of a loved one? That depends on their salvation. There's nothing wrong with Christians mourning over their loved one's demise. (S)he meant a lot to them, so mourning is natural. I do have a little issue with grieving over the loss of a saved loved one. Why should a Christian grieve over the loss of a saved loved one? They should celebrate that person's passing because (s)he's no longer suffering. They've completed their course and they've been promoted to Heaven. I could not see myself crying because God took my loved one home. If they were saved, I'm rejoicing with them because they're going to a much better place. God is calling his people home at a rapid pace, so folks might as well stay ready.

The only possible reason I would probably shed tears is if my loved one died without getting right with God. Sure, I'd do my part to tell him/her about Christ, but the acceptance decision is on them. Christians can't force people to come to Christ, all they can do is tell them and God will do the rest. If you're right with God, you shouldn't fear death because the way I see it, God's calling you to his presence. The only people who should fear death are those who don't have a relationship with God. The good news is that it's not too late to introduce yourselves to Christ.

Silent No More

It used to be taboo for black men to complain about anything (women included), now social media has given them a tool to voice their issues.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 21, 2015

In the past, black men didn't have a voice. Black men were expected to remain silent while black women threw them under the bus. The reason is that men complaining about anything was considered a feminine trait. What do you do when you try to complain, but don't want to be seen as weak? You remain silent. The issue is that being silent can be deadly because all that frustration is building up to a dangerous level. When you let loose, everyone feels it. Because many black men didn't want to be seen as weak, they had no choice but to keep calm and say nothing. This allowed black women to run reckless with their mouths because they weren't going to be accountable for their reckless mouths. When you have free reign, you're going to milk it. Here's one problem: Times have changed. Since social media was introduced, this gave brothers a voice they never had, and as a result, black men are standing up to these reckless black women with a fury they've never seen. Because some black women aren't used to an equally vocal black man, they resort to shaming tactics such as: Men don't argue with women. Last time I checked, there's no universal law that states that men aren't to argue with women. If a man wants to argue with a woman, he has that right. Anytime a woman resorts to shaming tactics, she's already lost the argument. She has no ammunition so she resorts to what she knows: shaming tactics. Even those are starting to wear thin among black men because every black man's heard it all: He's gay, he hates women, men don't argue with women, this, that and the other. Social media has been a blessing for many black men because they aren't afraid to let black women know what they think. Those shaming tactics are no longer silencing black men because they're used to hearing the same ones repeatedly. It's a new day, and some black women are no longer able to silence the voices of many black men. My suggestion is they (black women) get used to it because their time is up. Black men are no longer silenced by many black women's shaming tactics.

Family Friction

Folks, I want to talk to you about family friction. In a perfect world, there would be no family conflict because everyone would be on the same page. Families walk & talk alike, think alike, etc. Wouldn't that be great? Yes, but here's the problem: We don't live in a perfect world and unfortunately, families fight. Most families fight and get over it, other families fight and don't speak to each other. Sides are taken, and you're either Team this or that. I was watching Sunday's episode of Thicker Than Water when the Tankard sisters were at odds. Jewel and Junice feel some kind of way about each other, so they're going at it. Hurtful things have been said by each sister and apparently the Tankard sister beef is so deep that they've pretty much stopped speaking to each other. Being the leader, Ben decides to try and mediate by getting to the root of their issues, so some ground was made. My hope is the Tankard sisters can work through their issues, and go back being close. I think they'll get through their issues during the season. 

Unfortunately, many families battle so much that they stop speaking to each other. There's a code that you don't break: Never air your family drama. Whatever issues you have with a family member, you work it out in secret or part ways, but you don't put your family out on Front St. I don't respect that. No matter what issues I may have with my family, I will never put them on blast. I look at these tabloids with these "Tell-All" stories and I shake my head because the enemy (Satan) is wreaking havoc on families, and people are too blind to see it. I'm for family reconciliation, but a person can only do so much (prayer, talking to them, etc) until they feel it's no use. You can't reason with the unreasonable. If a family member refuses to respect your feelings and continues to mistreat and abuse you, it's time to cut that family member loose. It may hurt at first, but you'll understand it's for the best. Sometimes, you have to cut toxic people in your life, and that includes family. I'm blessed to have a cool family, but I feel for those who aren't as blessed to have decent family members.

Come To The Hood

If blacks want businesses in their hoods, get rid of the violent crime and businesses will want to invest. #Simple.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 11, 2015

An entrepreneur comes to me looking for an investment in his company. I've been watching Shark Tank long enough to know the kinds of questions to ask: I'm going to ask about location, my return on investment, and I'll gauge how much knowledge and connections I have about their product and make my decision. I'm a successful businessman looking to open another business in a thriving area of the big city. I'm looking at location, proximity to attractions and most of all safety. I hate to say this, but I wouldn't put a business in the hood because of safety concerns. I'm constantly worried about my business being vandalized or burglarized, my customers would have to worry about being victims of crime because of thuggery. Some inner-city people don't want to work for theirs, so they turn to robbing someone else. Not everyone in the ghetto is criminally-inclined, but the criminal element does outweigh the law-abiding citizens.

If I pay for heavy police protection, that could alleviate some of my customers' concerns, as well as my own. It's like this: A lot of blacks complain about lack of investment in their hoods, but look at Ferguson, South Los Angeles, and any other black neighborhood that's suffered from disturbances; the rioters burned down and looted their own businesses. No one's going to invest in your community if you don't take care of it. That means standing up to the criminal element and working with the police to rid your hood of violent crime. I'm growing tired of some blacks complaining about the lack of investment in their communities when all some of them do is burn their own down if a cop shoots down an unarmed black guy. If I compare black neighborhoods to white neighborhoods, I'm likely to make more money in the white communities because of low crime risk, location and because whites are pro-business. They're quick to support up-and-coming business because it makes their community look good, and it does.

I'm not saying that blacks won't support business because a lot of them will, but unfortunately, a lot of black communities have a very high crime risk so it wouldn't make good business sense to open a business in a black neighborhood. I wish that weren't true, but unfortunately it is. I'm all for investment coming into black communities because it's really needed, but there's too many barriers preventing investment from coming into black neighborhoods.

Enemies Turned Besties?

Nene and Phaedra are besties when not too long ago, Nene called Phaedra Fakedra. Have several seats. #RHOA

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 19, 2015

I could've sworn Nene and Phaedra were enemies, but after the last few episodes I guess they're besties. That's ironic because not too long ago, Nene called Phaedra Fakedra. Anyone who's followed RHOA long enough knows that Nene is the Queen of fakery. She'll be cool with you one minute, and throw shade the next. Cynthia and Nene used to be real cool on RHOA. They would go out together, share intimate details of their lives, etc. As soon as Cynthia started standing up for herself, Nene doesn't like it and decides to start mistreating Cynthia. Cynthia got some heart and decided to terminate her friendship with Nene. Back to Nene and Phaedra: They used to have some of the biggest battles on RHOA, Nene would hit below the belt on Phaedra and vice versa. When Kenya and Nene got into it, Phaedra co-signed Nene on everything and took part in the Kenya bash fest. Fast forward to Kenya vs. Phaedra: During the whole Phaedra/Apollo saga, Phaedra was talking all kinds of noise to Kenya about how she flirted with Apollo, gave him action, etc. Turns out, Kenya was telling the truth all along and Phaedra has yet to apologize to Kenya for the accusations. What's funny is that Nene co-signed Phaedra on the "Kenya's a ho" accusations. My thing is: You can't battle with someone, then be friends the next. That's phony to me because all that showed was that they became best friends under false pretenses, to disparage Kenya. It's going to be a matter of time before Nene gets into it with Porsha, they fall out and become besties once again under false pretenses.

Court My Child, You Better Be On Point

Being the son or daughter of an influential person means that anyone who wants to court him or her, has to be on point.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 16, 2015

It's one thing for regular parents to be skeptical of someone who shows interest in their son/daughter, but when that child(ren)'s parents are famous, that's another issue. Famous parents work hard to give their child(ren) the best life possible, so they're going to be 10x more skeptical of any (wo)man checking for their child. Depending on the humility level of the parents, they may be receptive to a regular (wo)man. Because famous parents reached a level of success, they want that for their child(ren). Anyone who's interested in courting their child(ren) has to be able to give them the kind of life their parents did. It takes a lot for parents to entrust their child(ren) into their spouse's care. Parents are trusting their son/daughter's fiancee to care for them the same way they did since Day 1. Let's give a few examples: Steve & Marjorie Harvey. I watched a touching video where Steve broke down at his children's birthday tribute to him. Steve's daughters are very shapely & attractive, and I know that any guy who wanted them, had to go through Steve. From what I know about Steve, he loves his daughters to death. He wants to know his daughters' husbands will provide for them the same way he did. President Obama and his daughters; I feel for the young men who are interested in Sasha and Malia because they'll have to get through Secret Service just to see Mr. President and introduce themselves. Influential parents are going to put every potential husband/wife through the ringer to make sure that (s)he can provide the same kind of life that their son or daughter has been afforded.

New Breeds

I could never bring myself to gossip about another man behind his back. People aren't that important to gossip about.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 16, 2015

Today's message is New Breeds, and I'm not talking about the infamous Chicago criminal organization. New Breeds is a term that I've come up with to describe men who take on feminine characteristics. It should be understood that men don't gossip about another man behind his back. If a man has something to say, he says it to that man's face. It seems like today's new breed of men aren't like old-school brothers. Old-school men weren't about shooting their mouths off like rockets about other men. Whatever issue a man had with another, that man took his issue to the offender and they handled it. That's not the case today because you have men threatened by other men for whatever reason, and they want to drag his name through the mud, scandalize his name in the streets. Every time that man comes around, other men huddle together and start gossiping about that man. 

Two things happen with these New Breeds: 1. They play it cool like he's not the object of their discussion (the target knows better) and 2. They'll get online and gossip about whatever man they have a problem with. It's one thing for men to gossip about another man, but it's another when those same gossipy dudes have the nerve to call themselves men. I'm indirectly discussing real men etiquette, so I've got to say this: REAL MEN don't gossip. Men understand that gossiping is unmanly and should be dealt with. I feel if a man's comfortable enough to gossip about another man, he should be comfortable to say what he said to that man's face. These New Breeds don't understand that because many of these dudes have been raised around women. They heard their mama gossip, so he exhibits that same behavior. It's not that guy's fault because he doesn't know any better. He's been raised around women, so that's all he knows is gossiping.
These New Breed of men are something else. It's like the New Breeds have destroyed all manhood protocol, and they decide to get beside themselves and start shooting off at the mouth towards other men. Even worse is these men are ok with telling about the next man. Like my tweet states: I could never bring myself to gossip about another man behind his back. People aren't that important to gossip about.

Before: By Lotus (How To Be A Woman)

Ladies,

Before you talk about how he didn't stay, make sure you talk about what you did to make him go. Before you talk about how he never treated you like a lady, make sure you talk about how you never made him feel like a man. Before you talk about how he stopped bringing home the bacon, don't neglect to speak about how you stopped cooking it before he did. Before you talk about how he wasn't man enough to lead, please talk about how you weren't woman enough to be led. Remember, that when you're laying down blame, you must pick up some accountability as well. Because only a fool believes that when there are clearly two people in a relationship, all of the blame should only be owned by one.

ℓσтυѕ

I've gotten away from promoting various writings of How To Be A Woman, but I'm going to start showcasing more of their material, because it's good. Today's message is going to be a highlight of this article. Everyone knows (or should know) that relationships take two to be successful; both (wo)man have to have the all-or-nothing mindset to make a relationship work or else, it's doomed. One person can't or shouldn't be doing all the work, but because some people have an entitled mindset, they feel one person should do all the giving and receiving. I'm glad those types exist because they teach me the type of person I don't want. I'm giving 100%, she's giving 100%, period. Whenever a relationship ends, SOME women get ghost and want to exempt themselves from their share of responsibility for the relationship failing. It took two to enter, right? Right. By that same logic, it takes two to make a relationship work.

Affiliates, Acquaintances and Friends

As you grow older, you realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.

— Life Facts By Lemon (@lifeandlemon) January 14, 2015

I've never understood why some people would rather have many friends than a few solid ones. It's crazy because everyone you're calling your friend, really isn't a friend. Some of them are affiliates, others are acquaintances and only a select few are true friends. Affiliates are groups a person is associated with for a purpose. Affiliates carry out the group's activity, but they're not full members. For example, if I'm hanging with President Obama, I would be considered his affiliate because I'm around him for important matters, and I would get to go where he goes. People look at me and say to themselves "He's rolling with President Obama, so he gets to go where the President goes". Acquaintances are people you chat with (in)frequently; you may have a lot or little in common. With acquaintances, they have the potential for friendship, but you're testing them to see if they'll make the cut. Some acquaintances pass, others fail so it's important to pre-screen everyone that comes into your life. Last but not least, you have your friends: These are people you've known for years, who've seen you at your best & worst, and they're still by your side. They give you tough love, but they're still by your side because they want the best for you. A lot of people say it's hard to find friends & they're right. Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to be a friend. It's important to group people accordingly. It's easy to have a clique of people you hang with here and there, but how many people in that so-called clique can you count on for encouragement & support? Probably none. I've never been concerned with having many friends, just knowing I have 3-5 solid friends is good enough for me. I don't need a clique, posse or crew surrounding me. When I see folks in groups, it makes me think they can't stand alone, that they need back-up. You also have frenemies, those characters who act like your friend, but they're your enemy. I'll venture to guess that most people (if they're honest) will say they have more affiliates & acquaintances rather than friends, and that's ok. Friendship takes time to develop.

Strong Women Attract Strong Men?

If strong women intimidate weak men, then why can't strong women attract strong men? I'll Wait.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 12, 2015

It should go without saying that a strong woman attracts a strong man, right? That's not always true. The Facebook meme "Strong Women Intimidate Weak Men" was posted in one of my Facebook groups, and that sparked a big debate. My writing style is diverse: I can take tweets and turn them into topics, and the same goes for Facebook memes and just regular thoughts others post. My question is: If strong women intimidate weak men, why can't strong women attract strong men? The reality is that strong women are drawn to weak men because she can control him. If you can control a weak person, you can get them to do your bidding with no resistance. A strong man doesn't go for a so-called strong woman's attitude/nonsense. If she can't get right, she will get left. A strong man knows his worth just like a strong woman does. You'd think both strong (wo)men are good for each other (which is true in many cases), but that's not always the case.

All strong men aren't attracted to strong women. The reason is that some strong women use being strong as an excuse to show their behinds. You know the combative, belligerent, ghetto types who think a man is supposed to take whatever she dishes out. A strong woman knows her worth, but doesn't have to flex on others. She knows when to speak up, and when to remain silent. Above all else, a strong woman uses her strength to empower other women. To me, that's a strong woman. Maybe another reason strong women can't attract strong men is that she doesn't desire one. Not every strong woman needs a strong man by her side, and that's fine. Sometimes, a woman can be let down by men too many times that she doesn't want to deal with some men's craziness, so she chooses peace of mind over finding a strong man. Sometimes, you have to be strong for yourself & not others.

Restoration

My pastor brought forth a powerful word yesterday and his message was Restoration. If you're a believer (even unbelievers can relate to this message), you've walked with God long enough to know that we live in a fallen world. Because we live in a fallen world, unfair things will happen to us at some point. It seems like God's people get hit the worst because God's children made a pledge to walk with the Lord all the days of their lives. Part of walking with God means you'll go through drama, much of which is out of your control. Life happens to us all, and as much as I don't like it, I have to speak that harsh truth. I've said this before & I'll say it again: If Adam & Eve didn't disobey God, life would be better for everyone. There would be no famine, violence, prejudice, etc. God wouldn't have a reason to restore because there would be nothing to restore. You can't restore what's not broken.

Even the Bible states that everything has a season: A time to laugh & cry, a time to mourn & rejoice. Things happen in life that are out of our control; there's nothing you or I can do about it except be encouraged that God's in control. Because God's in control, he will restore to his children all the enemy has stolen. God knows I need more than my share of restoration, and after yesterday's message, I'm holding onto faith that God will give me double for my trouble; I just have to keep myself encouraged in God's word. When my pastor spoke on restoration, it reminded me of the phrase "double for trouble." Restoration involves God restoring twice what the enemy has taken. All of us could use restoration in our lives.

Praying For Your Enemies

Sometimes praying for your enemies is worthless because they've reached the point of no return. Once you get to that point, you're toast.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 3, 2015

I know God's word, so I know it says to love my enemies. I have no problem with loving my enemies because that's what God commands, even if I may not want to. The problem is that many Christians try to love their enemies in their own strength instead of relying on God's power to help them love their enemy. Some Christians get frustrated when it seems like their enemy is treating them worse each day. Some Christians may do good for a moment, but eventually it'll come crashing down. I'm a firm believer that only God can give his children the power to love those who wish evil upon them. In doing so, God will take vengeance on his enemies; when God metes out justice, it's far more serious than man's justice. No matter how tough praying for your enemies is, as a child of God it releases you for one reason: Your enemies don't know what they're in for, and they will continue on their road until they reach the point of no return. Once a person reaches the point of no return, they're toast. That's when God's judgment falls upon them and by then it's too late. The point of no return is that area where there's no hope of redemption. No one should want to reach that point because once you get there, it's a wrap. Well-meaning people can wish for a better outcome for the offender, but the offender put themselves there by their actions. They chose to continue in wickedness until they reached no-man's land. The only recourse is judgment.

Who Would You Be With?

The following question was posted in one of my FB groups: If you had a choice, would you? 

(A) Be with someone who loves you unconditionally, but you have very little in common with them.

(B) Someone who claims they love you and they're argumentative, but you two have a lot in common.

I'm choosing A because unconditional love can make up for the lack of things my lady & I have in common. As we're getting to know each other, we will find something in common. There's something that drew us together, so the challenge is finding out what it is and building on that. Folks should want peace in their relationship with their mate(s), and the last thing someone wants is Round 2 with their (wo)man. From the time one steps outside their door, they're faced with the day's challenges. If they've had a bad fight with their spouse prior to work, that may carry over into their job: They're irritable & they stay to themselves by focusing on their job. This keeps them from going off on colleagues. I don't care how much a woman may say she loves me; if we're having more arguments than good times, something's wrong. Forget about that nonsense that says: Arguing is healthy. There is nothing healthy about fussing. If she can't act right, she will get left.

I'm trying to figure out what's so healthy about arguing. Think about it, you and your spouse are always arguing and making up, fuss than act lovey dovey. Bump that because the way I'm set up, if we can't have a rational discussion without either of us getting in our feelings, maybe we don't need to be together. The only ground you will gain is if the arguing stops IMMEDIATELY. Relationships are for building, and I have little tolerance for arguing and snidy behavior. If I'm giving my all to make her happy, then she has no right to have attitude with me. Get yourself in order prior to coming home. Your (wo)man doesn't need to feel your wrath. Unfortunately, some people are so used to discord that they frown upon having a peaceful relationship. It's as if they feel like a relationship isn't healthy if there's some discord. They can have the discord, and I'll choose the unconditional love from a woman I may not have anything in common with. Knowing me, I'll find something we have in common.

Is She Wrong?

Question: An engaged man goes out a lot without his fiancee. She doesn't mind him going out as she has her own life & trusts him to behave. Her concern comes from him taking selfies with numerous women in compromising positions. He says he's not doing anything with these women, but the perception these pics present are over the top and this bothers her. Is she wrong for being upset?

Answer: No she's not. Respect your s/o feelings and not put her in a position where she has to defend your behavior to others. If everybody else isn't doing it, then he's probably doing too much. I'll never understand why some men feel the need to relieve their pimp days. When a man's engaged, he chose one woman to spend his life with. He saw something in her that attracted him to her, and he decided to get to know her. Now, he pulls this stunt and his woman is in a bind. People don't understand the seriousness of respecting your S/O's feelings. If he's doing this now and you're engaged, it won't stop after you are married. When people show you their true colors, believe them. She can be foolish if she wants to and ignore the signs. If he disregards her feelings now, it's going to get worse if they make it to marriage. It would be one thing if the pics were including men and women; that would make me think he was socializing, but to have just women when you have a fiance, and you aren't famous or a celebrity is just poor taste. 

Honestly Alert: In situations like this, women need to cut the ish and just say they don't like it. She may not tell him outright, but believe when they have an argument, this is going to be the first thing she brings up. Women know what they're doing. She has a right to be upset because there's no telling what he's doing with these women.

Thicker Than Water: Fix Your Hair, Jewel

#ThickerThanWater. The Tankards have all this money, and Jewel's hair always looks a mess on the show. pic.twitter.com/Xct9zsuxq0

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 5, 2015

I've been watching Thicker Than Water since it's Season 1 debut, and I enjoy watching the Tankards. I knew about Ben Tankard long before he got famous because he's a legend in the gospel music industry. He produced a lot of Yolanda Adams' earlier music, and grew up in the Tallahassee region. Thicker Than Water was the highest rated new show on Bravo, garnering millions of views so obviously people enjoy the show. Critics of the show state the Tankards are materialistic because their subject matter always seems to be about money, but I don't see it that way. I see them as a regular family that happened to be blessed with a good life. They've been very open about their struggles, so I don't see how folks could say they're all that. Everyone has no problem with unsaved folks being blessed, but as soon as a Christian is blessed, all hell breaks loose. Last time I checked, Christians have as much right to be blessed as unsaved folks.
I have a question: Why does Jewel's hair always look a mess on the show? You'd think with all the money the Tankards have, Jewel could afford a good hairstylist, but maybe I'm wrong. I don't know if she does her own hair before the show or maybe she wants to be seen as real, like she doesn't want to give off an "I'm better than you" vibe, who knows. All I know is when you're on national TV, image is everything. You have to be on point from head to toe. If you're hair is messed up for whatever reason, people are going to run with it. "Her hair looks crazy" "Who does her hair" yadda yadda. Brooklyn, Cyrene, Shanira and the other young Tankard women look slayed each episode, so what's Jewel's excuse? I've seen enough reality shows to know that hair is one of the first things people look at on a female reality star. Her clothing can be on point, but if her hair looks crazy, forget it.

I've Got Stuff On My Mind

Public Service Announcement: Whenever someone points out an observation about a group or person, there's always folks who are quick to say "Not all are like that", "It's just the circle you hang with", "I don't know anyone like what you're describing, etc. Newsflash: The world doesn't revolve around you, although you may like it to. I don't like generalizations anymore than the next person, but generalizations are valid when you have consistent evidence that validates the observation, so I don't want to hear any of the aforementioned statements, because they're annoying. If I said the Southside Of Chicago is a warzone (even though some areas of South Chicago rival the Northside in terms of upscale neighborhoods), that generalization would be valid because all I would have to do is research YouTube, and other media outlets to read about the dozens of mass shootings & murders that have taken place there. If you're a teacher averaging 25-30 kids in each of 7 classes you teach, and more than half of your class is failing, no one's going to say "(s)he's a great teacher." Folks are gonna say "If half of her/his class is failing, something's wrong with her teaching style because the kids aren't grasping the material, or the students aren't doing the work. You can have some students that are doing well in his/her classes, but folks are going to gauge that teacher's effectiveness by how many students are passing or failing. That's the rationale behind standardized testing and other forms of evaluation, schools use the test data to gauge which schools are (not) doing well. A & B schools get the most money, C schools get some money, D-F schools get nothing. One more example: If a student is acting up in class, the teacher is within their right to punish the entire class based on that one student's offense. If the entire class gets punished because one student acts up, get mad at the student for messing it up for everyone else, not the teacher.

Shout out to some women who get in their feelings when they're lumped in with the ratchets, but won't speak against ratchet behavior. I'm not responsible for what another woman does, I don't associate with ratchets, this that & the third. That's all good, but you lose the right to complain about being unfairly generalized when you don't voice displeasure with ratchets. Whether some people like it or not, a few people can mess it up for everyone. Just because a percentage of (wo)men are stand-up, if the ratchets outnumber the stand-ups (which it seems like they do), and there's consistent evidence to validate the generalizations, then it is what it is. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. Don't get upset when someone calls out the entire gender based on the negative behavior of a few, because remember: One person can mess it up for everyone.

Content? Only When I Reach The Finish Line

Never be content until you get where you want to be.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) January 1, 2015

I'm all for contentment just as much as the next person, but I'm not content when I know I have goals to accomplish. That's crazy to me that some people would set goals for themselves, abandon them halfway and rest on their laurels. Maybe they can't take the heat, or maybe they're satisfied with their level of success and feel there's nothing left for them to accomplish. If they're satisfied with where they are in life, then that's their right to be content. Personally, I've got too much greatness in me to be content with mediocrity. If you're content with mediocrity, then you have no right to be envious of someone who's not. They're not satisfied with the status quo, they want it all and their work ethic shows it. Look at some of society's influential people: Do you think they got where they are by being content? No, they wanted it all and made it happen by any means necessary. I bet the most successful people will endorse this blog. I believe most jealousy comes from unfulfillment, which in turn leads to some people labeling others as "greedy" just because they're not content with mediocrity. MY definition of contentment is satisfaction with having achieved all goals I've set, and deciding it's time to stop. I have nothing left to prove because in my mind, I've done it all. When you've achieved every goal you've set for yourself, that's when it's time to be content. Enjoy your success.

New Year, Same You

New Year, New Me? More like, New Year, Same You.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) December 30, 2014

Today's message is timely because it's January 1, 2015. Around this time, you'll hear people on & offline saying New Year, New Me. The premise behind New Year, New Me is to get rid of the old and ring in a new year on a fresh note. Honestly, I've never felt the need to utter New Year, New Me because it's cliche. Some people utter that phrase because it sounds good, but some of them probably won't put any action behind it. Motivational tweets are fine & good, but if they don't have action behind them, then it's useless. I'm a work in progress all year, not just on January 1st (insert year). I live each day striving to do better, so that at the end of the year I'll have no regrets about what I should've, could've or would've done. Each new year is a chance to set new goals and implement the game plan. When I hear New Year, New Me it's like people making New Year's Resolutions. You have 3 types of NYR (New Year's Resolution) makers: 1. Those who make resolutions and see them through to the end. 2. People who make resolutions and abandon them within the first few weeks or months. 3. Those who make resolutions just to hear themselves. Most people will fall into one of these categories. I've noticed that some people don't have to say New Year, New Me because they have nothing to prove to anyone. They're too busy living that statement. In conclusion, if you're going to say New Year, New Me, please put some action behind that phrase. Otherwise, it's cliche. Be Blessed & Happy New Year.