Everybody Has A Story To Tell

Throughout life, you'll meet people that leave such a mark on you, that they confide in you like they don't with anyone else. This comes with time. You're not supposed to confide in this & that person, because not everyone has your best interest in mind (and you may not have theirs in mind either, let's be real). Anyway, a friend & I were getting to know each other and we discuss family. I give her a little history about my family, and she shares hers. When I mention to her that my family and I are close (even though we go at it from time to time), she tells me she wishes it was like that with hers. She goes into detail about how her family has hurt her extremely bad, and she doesn't speak to her siblings and parents. I replied, "You're at a point where you must erase toxic people out of your life, family included." You can love some people from a distance. Nowhere does it mention you have to keep toxic people in your life. What benefit does allowing a person to hurt you over and over again serve? There is no benefit; all that does is drain you of your joy, and with all the craziness in society, people gravitate to what brings them peace. When I hear the phrase "Everyone Has A Story To Tell", I think of a person revealing personal details to a close friend. Everyone (even the most private person) wants someone to listen to our story. That's why when some people volunteer in nursing homes, they're able to listen to those elders pour their hearts out. Listening to the elderly tell their lives is a wonderful experience, because they've gone the route you're going. They're able to show you what does(n't) work. When I write commentaries daily, that's my way of telling my story. My story is much deeper than these blog commentaries, and at some point I'm going to get personal in my writing, because I believe I can reach more people that way. Everyone likes a good story, especially if it leads to victory. No matter what you're going, have been, or about to go through, that's your story. Don't be afraid to tell your story. Better yet, don't let anyone tell your story because nobody can tell your story like you. 

Thanksgiving

On Thursday, November 28th is Thanksgiving; another time for family & friends to get together over food. For many, Thanksgiving is a joyous occasion. For others, it's a painful reminder of loved ones who no longer grace their presence. What does Thanksgiving mean to me? To me, Thanksgiving is a time for reflection; a time to reflect on my blessings and be with family. The time will come when your family leaves this world, and then what? Some people are going to regret not spending more time with their family over the holidays. I'm thankful for a lot: Being in my right mind-Some people struggle with mental illness. Good health-I have a health club membership that I make the MOST of: I do 4x a week in the gym: 2 days of legs & chest, and abs/obliques, inner things, the other 2 days consist of back & shoulder training, and arms. When my health is right, every area in my life falls in order. My nieces-My nieces keep me grounded, and they teach me not to sweat the small stuff. There's not too much I'm not thankful for, but the above is the gist. I stated earlier that Thanksgiving is a painful reminder for some people of loved ones who are no longer with them. When some people get together for Thanksgiving, those grief feelings resurface because they miss their loved ones. Some people have such an impact on you, that it's normal. In most cases, you never recover from that person's death. Yes, they wouldn't want you stuck; if they truly meant a lot to you, they would want you to keep it moving. I don't know about anyone, but I've come to terms that one day, my parents will leave this earth. Any future Thanksgivings will be a somber moment because I will remember the times where I helped make Thanksgiving & Christmas dinner. I will remember the times of going shopping for Christmas gifts on Black Friday. It won't be the same without them. Be thankful you have the opportunity to be with your family this Thanksgiving, because one day, they won't be around. Depending on the person, that could be good or bad.

Gangster For Jesus

If you've watched Preachers of L.A., you've heard of Bishop Ron Gibson. He started off as a gangster, then turned preacher. He was told he would never be a good preacher, but look at him now. He's doing very well for himself, and I'm happy for him. I like to see people go from prison to the palace. On a recent episode, he goes into his old neighborhood to minister to two gang members (one a Piru Blood and the other a Crip). He cleaned up their image, and took them to church where they accepted Christ. What I like about Bishop Ron Gibson is he stays true to who he is. He doesn't hide his gangster mentality even though he's a minister. Some of the most influential Biblical leaders had unlovely qualities and God used them regardless. Just because you get saved, doesn't mean you have to become a cookie-cutter Christian. In Bishop Ron's case, he's from the hood so he's able to relate to the gangsters. He's been where they are, so that's why he's so effective in his inner-city outreach ministry. Think about it: If you've never lived the thug life, how can you witness to inner-city youth about the dangers of gang life? You can't. Those young brothers will look at you crazy because everything you're talking, goes in one ear & out the other. "What is this dude talking about? He's never lived our life, so I don't want to hear nothing he has to say". Bishop Ron is what I call a gangster preacher: He uses his background to spread the word. He talks about his Rolex, how much his suit cost, his car, house, etc.; which can be excessive at times, but that's who he is. At least Ron is staying true to himself. Most preachers hide their true selves to be accepted among their peers. I remember a recent episode where Ron was giving a message before the Board of a religious organization he wants to move up in. He preached his message, but stayed true to himself. This is my problem with Christianity: Some people think you have to be "proper" to spread the gospel. By proper, I mean: eloquent in speech & appearance. Back in Biblical times, Jesus and his followers weren't what most people would call "proper", but they made an impact. Just because someone came from the hood, doesn't mean they can't reach people for Christ. Look at Bishop Ron Gibson, I'd say he's more than making a difference in people's lives. I salute you Bishop Ron Gibson! Keep on keeping on brother.

Soft Parents

This commentary is going to upset many people, but I don't care who slighted. Today's parents are soft because of the following reason: Their child is bullying another kid, and when you bring it to their attention, the parents are like: Boys will be boys. Wth? Boys will be boys my foot. If a parent checks another parent about their child(ren)'s bullying, the guilty parent needs to come down on THEIR child. Right is right. Oh no, you can't tell another parent how to raise their child(ren). So, I'm supposed to let your heathen child bully my kid, I call you on it and you do nothing? I have something for that. Since you won't check your child, I'll go over your head. Gone are the days where elders in the community could discipline your child(ren) if they did wrong. Nowadays, parents have the nerve to get upset at you if you try to discipline their child(ren). Well, if you did your job as a parent, there would be no need for someone else to. Too many parents want to be their child's friend, instead of parent. I'm all for parents being close with their children, but they shouldn't forget their ultimate responsibility: To train their child(ren) to be a responsible citizen. I can see why parents are soft nowadays, because the government won't allow parents to discipline their children when they get out of line. You can't spank your child(ren), because it's considered child abuse. I'm not saying beat your children like they stole something, but light spankings on the backside will do the trick. This is one of the reasons why I'm reluctant to have children, because if another child does something to put my or someone else's child in danger, I will check the parents and dare them to try it. You can be screened for everything else, why not screen potential parents? This way, people who are determined to be unfit parents won't produce ratchet children. Looking at some of these children, one can't help but feel as though some people have no business having children.

What Drives Me?

What Drives Me? For starters, I'm about making my own way in life with(our) support. As I formulate my vision, I take everything into consideration: Obstacles, strategy, support system, etc. Unless you're well-connected, there's no way you'll NOT encounter obstacles on your road to success. The only way is to learn from others mistakes, but even that's no guarantee. Come what may, I will get where I need to be because I've got the motivation and God. With God on my side, all I do is win. From time to time, cable networks will show biographies of influential people. Hearing their testimonies of how they've overcome unspeakable tragedy to become successful, shoots synapses of motivation into me and that's what drives me. If they can do it, what's my excuse? Take suicide for example: I'm driven NOT to commit suicide because I think about my loved ones reaction: How would THEY feel? My nieces love me to death. They're always asking about their uncle, so I have to think of them in the moves I make. Understand this, suicide will not be an option for me because I have extreme mental toughness. I can go through something, and won't stop until I minimize the issue or destroy it altogether. Another one: Financial Independence. I'm motivated by financial independence because I look at some people in so much debt, that I don't want to end up like them. I want to be able to have freedom to do this & that with no worries of how I will afford it. That's the beauty of being debt free; your pay goes into savings or you can ball every pay period. What also drives me is having one life to live: I only get one shot in life, so I have to make the most of every day. I don't want to be on my deathbed with any regrets. I want to go out in style knowing I've touched the lives of those God sent to me. Anything & anyone who doesn't enrich my life is gone, no questions asked. Some people are scared to cut people loose who don't fit their vision. They figure because I've known them all my life; they get a free pass. That may be true for some men (and with me to an extent), but not me. I see my life as VIP, where only privileged people are granted access. That empowers me because I have the right to disqualify people from being in my life if they don't enrich me. I understand others' right to do the same with me (as I should). Why should anyone want to keep me around if I'm not a benefit to them? That's crazy. I'm driven by many factors, but I felt like sharing my top 3.

Negative Thinking

Ever hear of the term, Think Positive? According to this article, positive thinking has health benefits. Click on the link for full article:

 

Negative Thinking

Marathon Marriage

When I think of a marathon marriage, I think of a marriage that has lasted 70+ years. Those are the cream of the crop marriages; those marriages have weathered storms that would wipe most couples off the map. What makes a marathon marriage is a couple that honors the vows they made to God, and each other. There aren't too many marriages that last 70+ years, and there aren't supposed to be. It's awesome that some couples are married for 50 years, 60 years even. It's another ball game when you remain married to the same person for 70+ years. Just like the top 1% of income earners control over 90% of current affairs, marathon marrieds are in a class of their own. Herbert & Zelmyra Fisher went down in history as holding the record for longest married couple. They were married for 86 years before Mr. Fisher passed in February at 104. He is survived by his wife Zelmyra, who is 101. I look at couples who have been married for 70+ years, and think of their undying committment to each other. No matter how much they pissed each other off, they handled that and got back on good terms. They didn't let small matters screw up their committment to each other. There are going to be more than enough rough patches in a couple who's been married for 70+ years, I know. What matters is the level of committment. I think when a person decides on marriage, they have to be able to overlook small stuff. They must accept that their partner will say & do things to piss them off (and vice versa), but if it can be worked through, by all means go for it. A lot goes into a marathon marriage. You can't marry anybody and expect to be married for 70 years, not unless you've done due diligence on that (wo)man. People show you their true colors over time, but they always show you their good side in the early relationship stages. Nobody wants to run off a great catch. For me, I would rather a woman be straight with me about her character. Tell me what your flaws are, and I'll decide if I can work with them. Everyone has the potential for a marathon marriage, but that requires discipline, committment, and compromise. Sadly, some people will never have a marathon marriage because they are too prideful to let the small stuff go. Look at the couples who have been married for 70 years or more...Only God can keep a marriage together for that length of time. You can't do that on your own.



Sacrifice

I want to talk to you today about Sacrifice. What is Sacrifice? My definition of sacrifice is putting yourself on the backburner for another person. Before we were born, our parents had ambitions of a better life. They had us, and had to sacrifice their dreams to take care of us. It takes a special person to sacrifice because you don't know when the time will come for them to sacrifice for you, or whether they will return the favor. As much as I hate saying this, I have to be honest: You're going to sacrifice at some point in life. At work, you have plans of hanging out with co-workers after your shift ends, but your boss mandates OT for the entire department because a deadline must be met by Monday at noon. Your boss has his staff work all weekend to meet the deadline. You can't refuse mandatory overtime or you'll face disciplinary action. In marriage, sacrifice is mandatory if kids come into the picture. Your days of having fun are long gone because raising children requires a lot of time. You're investing in your children so they grow up to be productive members of society. Gone are the days of staying out until midnight on a weekday, or until 2am on the weekends. A husband wants a new yacht, but his wife wants a luxury vacation to San Trope. 9 times out of 10, the husband has to sacrifice his yacht to take his wife on a vacation. No matter what, you're going to sacrifice in life. It's part of co-existing with your fellow man. The only way you won't sacrifice is if you live life as a loner, and even then you'll still sacrifice for the greater good. If you're in a relationship with someone and you're doing all the sacrifice, you need to re-evaluate that relationship. A relationship involves BOTH contributing 100%. There will be times when one person is giving more than the other, but if you're the one always sacrificing for your spouse, you need to evaluate what's in it for you. I'm all for sacrifice if it's for my greater good. If the sacrifice isn't benefitting me, then I won't do it. Even if I do sacrifice for the greater good, chances are I will expect sacrifice in return. It's the right thing to do.

Money=Immunity

Men with money get away with a lot more in a relationship than broke men. Think about it: A man with money can cheat on his lady, do all kinds of lowdown things to her and she'll take him back because women are looking for security. If a man is taking good care of his woman, she's going to overlook a lot she wouldn't normally overlook. Read what 3 facebookers had to say on this issue:

 

From Kala Brown: Expectations don't change but expectations are always met. With that being said, if your dude was financially set; Took care of you, would you overlook certain things that you normally wouldn't?

Twanna Gill Nope. Because taking care of me means taking care of all of me. So making deposits in my bank account & withdrawals from my heart isn't going to work for me.

 

Twanna Gill's response was spot on because she's an excellent example of how some women can't be bought. All the money and goodness a man lavishes won't cut it. Many women are making their own money, so they aren't phased by financially secure men. That may work on younger women, but not seasoned women like Twanna. Even if a man's broke & trifling, some women are so desperate for a man that she'll put up with anything if he's laying it down right. No matter how stand-up a woman may be, she's just as susceptible to having this kind of game ran on her. This is why discernment is key. Many men understand women are checking for established men, and some men play on this.

 

Richard Hudson Many women echo Twanna's sentiment, but sing a different tune with a few well-placed emotions. "Baby I'm sorry, I'll do better. Let me take you out tonight" Woman: Awww...ok hun, I forgive you.

Random Thought

Have you ever noticed that people tend to act differently around those they think can do something for them — people who appear to have status, wealth or influence in life? I believe that the way we treat people is a test. At times, God will bring people across your path that may seem insignificant. They may not appear to be able to do anything for you, but in reality, they are divinely linked to your destiny. They hold the key to your promotion and increase. Will you treat them with respect and honor even if you think they can’t do anything for you? The truth is, the people that we’re playing up to or trying to win their favor may be the ones that will open a door for us. But, they don’t hold the key to your destiny. Promotion doesn’t come from them. Promotion comes from God. And God will use the most unlikely people to open doors of opportunity for you — a hotel bellman, a maid, an intern, or an unpopular kid at school. Let’s pass the test and treat everyone like Jesus put them in our path because He probably did. I have to keep this in mind with how I treat people, because I don't want to miss my blessing. The Bible does mention entertaining angels in disguise. People expect influential people to open doors for us, and God does use influential people to open doors; More times than not, God uses people that society deems insignificant to give us promotion & increase. Remember, God is watching and promotion comes from Him.

True Or False?

True Or False: If a woman doesn't trust her man when he's given her no reason to doubt him, she's not to be trusted.

 

Here are the responses to the question I posed on Facebook:

 

Lovely Day False- she hasn't healed from her past.

23 hours ago · Like · 5

Destiny Bennett-Whiteside False, false false !!!

23 hours ago via mobile · Like · 2

Lovely Day True- she might be doing dirt but transferring that dirt onto him.

23 hours ago · Unlike · 3

Lovely Day Depends on what kind of woman you are.

23 hours ago · Like · 2

Destiny Bennett-Whiteside Some people are insecure from past experiences or sometimes from watching the ones around them

23 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 4

Richard Hudson I say True and False. Think about it: A woman who suspects her man of doing dirt could be the one doing her own dirt. She doesn't want the heat on her so she does everything to deflect onto him. False, because even the most stand-up men & women are prone to infidelity.

23 hours ago · Like · 2

Maurice Wilkerson True with some women not all. some women might be hiding something and is afraid to tell but it depends on what it is.

23 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1

Twanna Gill False. Many peope bring past baggage to their current relationship

23 hours ago · Unlike · 3

Richard Hudson That's the thing: Leave your baggage at the terminal before boarding another relationship. Matter of fact, throw the baggage as far as east is from west.

22 hours ago · Like · 3

Nikki Bolden Neal False...like Lovely Day said, she may have been horribly hurt by someone else.

22 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 3

Twanna Gill sometimes you don't even realize you are carrying excess luggage Richard Hudson and then there is some stuff that will simply always be a part of you....

22 hours ago · Unlike · 3

Richard Hudson So she's going to make the next man pay for the sins of the ex? That's bonkers. It happens, but it's bonkers. I feel what everyone is saying though. We all have baggage to some degree.

22 hours ago · Like · 4

 

Twanna Gill yeah, I think we all do to a certain degree. There is a fine line between learning from your past and making someone else pay for it...

22 hours ago · Unlike · 4

 

Twanna Gill And then there are just those things that have forever changed you

22 hours ago · Unlike · 3

 

Kim Ward Of curse not! But I disagree that it means that she is dealing with baggage. While this may be the case, I think that some give trust too freely in relationships. Look at all the stories in the news in which we hear about a child being abused by a boyf...See More

22 hours ago · Unlike · 4

 

Destiny Bennett-Whiteside This applies to men that don't trust their woman for no reason too right ??

22 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 4

April McLemore That was my next question Destiny Bennett-Whiteside.....I learned why he was questioning me when I was traveling for business or if I didn't answer because there was no reception in the mall....lol cause his ass was doing dirt...smh

22 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 4

Richard Hudson Yes Destiny, it applies to both. Men are guilty of this just like women.

22 hours ago via mobile · Like · 2

Anthony Archie I feel since a woman base everything on what a man do, it do make men not trust them especially if they think he can't be trusted and she might not have a reason. Probably her own guilty conscious

21 hours ago · Edited · Unlike · 4

Cologne Jerry False

21 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1

James A. Jr Winslow That is how I see it. She is either insecure or not trust worthy herself.

21 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 6

Maurice Wilkerson if a woman feels that she cant trust me and i havent given her no reasons then go on are leave. i dont have the time for insecure women .come upfront or dont come at all.

21 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 4

Toni AdvocatingforJustice Whitley False: Trust, just like most things in life, have to be earned. There are going to be various levels of insecurities from both men and women. Just bc she does not trust you does not imply that she is cheating, there are other factors that have to be taken into consideration to make that determination.

21 hours ago · Unlike · 4

Thomas Stafford yea some people might not trust because trust all ready have been broking before you lets face it people get hurt and some time never grow from it

8 hours ago · Edited · Like · 3

 

Michael Moultrie True she is liable to believe anything that is said about you.

2 hours ago · Unlike · 1

Shai's Genjutsu She has issues then if she's giving him a hard time without a good reason. I wouldn't stay if I was him. No use in jumping through hoops when I'm not trusted anyways. I'd urge her to figure out what's going on with her and heal first before ever attempting another relationship.