She's kidding herself. These guys are telling her, but she's not listening.  They can not see spending their lives with her. She should reread what she wrote: 
"Each has professed their love for me and told me that they can see 
us spending the rest of our live together (my self and each of the 
respectively) the problem is the single dad doesn’t want us together 
cause he is afraid of hurting me and ruining the friendship,  and the 
navy man is afraid that we have changed to much to work now even  though
 we know we wold fit together."
They “professed” their love for her, but neither put into action.
“the single dad doesn’t want us together because he is afraid of 
hurting me and ruining the friendship” – that means he’s still a hoe.  
He doesn’t want her falling in love with him because he won't reciprocate.
“The military man who helps everybody” – guaranteed paycheck and 
military benefits.  He probably told her he sends money home, or in a
 passing conversation how he helped a family member or two pay a bill.  
He’s on active duty; traveling the world and he’s not going to limit 
himself to you when he can have his share of  women (or men) in every 
state drooling over him.  “The navy man is afraid” – no, he’s not.  This
 is not a dilemma for him, what does he have to be afraid of?   He’s not 
worrying about this.  
High school is the past, let the memories keep her heart smiling and
 be about her business with them as platonic friends.  Stop trying to 
make something be what it's not meant to be.  They have their lives and
 they’re fine WITHOUT her.  They’re not trying to be with her.
She's a good example of how some women have multiple kids by many 
men or trick males with twerk skills into marrying her.  And, the 
end result is hate. 
Being in the middle means they would’ve proposed WITH AN 
ENGAGEMENT RING, they would’ve incorporated her in their FUTURE (shared 
accounts), both would consistently be in contact with her, both would 
lavish her with unsolicited gifts, she’d have a direct line with their 
mother and immediate family members, etc. 
There’s nothing in the middle.
She should stop thinking she needs a  “man” to complete her or make her feel good about herself.  Re-evaluate her life and find out where you want to be in 5-15 years from now. She should love herself enough to have standards so she won't be duped by guys like this. 
They both gave her excuses & told her in a nice way to keep it moving.
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