Only God Can Judge Me

This phrase needs to be retired, along with a host of others. Ever since Tupac uttered these very words, most blacks (and people in general) have ate this quip up like nobody's business. Only God Can Judge Me has become nothing more than an excuse to rip & run with no remorse about your actions. Nobody can tell you nothing because you're quick to say "Only God Can Judge Me". When you're about to go down the wrong path and someone tries to tell you the right way to go, you're quick to say "Only God Can Judge Me." Yes, God is the final judge but many people fail to realize that God uses people to get our attention in hopes we get back on track. Martin Luther King Jr. said it best "I have a dream that one day I will be judged for the content of my character, rather than the color of my skin." You know what made MLK a cut above the rest? He embraced judgment! He WELCOMED judgment based on his character. Like it or not, all of us are judgmental (some more and worse than others). When you apply for a job with your resume & cover letter, the company judges your qualifications to see if you are a good fit for the company. If you want to go into the military, the recruiter judges you based on the information you give to see if you would like to enlist. That Only God Can Judge Me stuff needs to stop because all some blacks do is throw that statement around so they won't have to check themselves. This statement is used by arrogant people who think they're above reproach, rebuke & correction. On the flip side, the intended use for this quip is that no matter what people say/think, God has the final say.

Cheaper To Keep Him/Her

It's common knowledge that it's easier to catch a man/woman than it is to keep them. Simply put, what you did to get that prized man or woman, you have to do the same in order to keep them. This is where the problem lies because once a person finds their mate, they think the work is done. Actually, the work has just begun because you have to constantly remind yourself of the work it took to find Mr. or Mrs. Right. Many relationships have fallen by the wayside because the couple is too lazy to maintain that relationship. They don't try as hard as they used to and why should they? They've arrived. A relationship is essentially doomed if the couple gets to a point where they don't have to work at it anymore. Couples need to have a sports mindset in regards to relationships: What I don't/won't do, another will. There are plenty of back-ups waiting for playing time.

Marriage

Marriage is lovely. There's nothing like meeting the right person and making a commitment to them for life. Marriage can be bliss if you meet the right person, but it can also be hell if you meet the Devil's Dad or Satan's Mistress. There are articles highlighting couples that have been married in excess of 70+ years. That puts a smile on my face because only God can keep two people together that long. There's a black North Carolina couple that holds the longest marriage record to date; the man is 104 and the woman is 101. They've been married for 86 years! Other couples have made the news for being married 70+ years. Those couples give me hope because they can school most people on what it takes to have a successful marriage. Why wouldn't anyone want to take advice from a married couple that's been married 80 years or more? Matter of fact, when or if I get married, granted it will be with the PERFECT woman but I'll seek out wise counsel from marriage veterans. Nowadays, marriage is a joke (yes I said it) for the simple fact that people get divorce over BS. Your man/woman pissed you off so you're going to leave them. Granted, there should be clear-cut boundaries of what both parties won't accept in a marriage but to split up over miniscule matters just shows the couple didn't think it through careful enough. Either couples get married for the wrong reasons or they get married for "love." Sorry, but it takes a lot more than love to have a successful marriage. You have to accept your man/woman saying and/or doing things to upset you. If you're not willing to weather life's storms together, what's the point of getting married? Really. Some people aren't cut out for marriage because they aren't willing to do the work. If I'm going to get married, I'm in it to win it. I want to be down for my wife to the very end and hopefully she'll have my back just the same. Otherwise, I'll remain single and continue getting myself together, working on my goals (which I'm well on my way to achieving) so I can be on point for my mate, whoever she is. If I'm bringing 100%, she better be willing to do the same.

Pro Wrestling

I've grown up on pro wrestling. I've been watching wrestling since I was a little boy. Wrestling legends like Hulk Hogan, Andre The Giant, Ric Flair, Ron Simmons, Booker T made the sport what it is today. I've recorded tons of footage over the years and periodically I go down memory lane to relive some classic matches. As good as wrestling is on TV, it's better in person. When WWE used to slide through Tallahassee regularly, me and my brother made it a point to be there. WWE doesn't come through Tallahassee often but when it does, it's always a huge turnout and I'm all in there, solo or with my brother. I remember the Monday Night Wars between Raw and Nitro. Both were hugely popular shows at their peak and I had to constantly flip between the two on Monday nights. Wrestling really started to pick up around 2000-2004 because you had The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin, who were/are my two favorite wrestlers of all time because they were popular and they put on great matches. Just recently, I started back watching wrestling again because a few months ago, it started to get lame. Garbage storylines, athletes getting pushes that aren't ready for a title reign, etc and pushing the same superstars over and over again.  The wrestling industry has changed from when it first started. My dad's cousin used to be an amateur wrestler on the independent circuit.

Tough Guy Demeanor

I find it extremely funny that people are scared to approach a person because they look mean all the time. If you're one of those people who constantly smile, good for you. That hasn't been me, couldn't be me and never will be me. I intentionally look mean to repel people. If they can't overlook that and get to know ME, then they can get to stepping. Only the right people are allowed in my life. My mom told me someone wanted to talk to me for a while but couldn't gather the courage because of my facial expression. I explained to her that I will never be the happy-go-lucky kind of person and make no apologies for it. People need to quit being soft. Needless to say, I have nothing to say to the person who's supposedly scared to approach me. I can't respect flaw. It's a shame that society is so judgmental that instead of looking past someone's facial expression, all kinds of labels are thrown out. If someone's an introvert, they're antisocial/cocky. If someone's outgoing, they are assumed to be an attention junkie, etc. Maybe some people carry a tough exterior because they've been hurt in the past and they don't want to let anyone in because of past experience. I can respect that because why continually open yourself up to hurt & rejection? That takes its toll after a while. Or, some people carry themselves in a tough manner as a precautionary measure. I'm a little of both because while I'm approachable, I give people doses of me because many times, they can't handle the full essence. I come from the old school where we take care of business and then play. Granted, I know when to get loose and when to buckle down. I can't be all business and no fun; that wouldn't be a good look. I've always been the no-nonsense kind of person, always ready to get the job done at a moment's notice. I could lighten up a little bit...JUST A LITTLE BIT.

Men & Women As Friends

This blog was inspired from a chat I had with one of my FB friends. We were discussing whether men and women can be friends. The overall consensus was yes, men and women can be friends. It happens all the time. The greatest relationships start out as friends. There's something to be said for investing years in a person and watching that bond blossom into a beautiful relationship. The woman I meet (whoever she is) will be my friend first, then she will graduate to significant other and eventually wife. During the friendship, both the man and woman learn a lot about each other: They get to see each other at their best and worst. It's in that time they figure out whether they would make a great couple or if it's better off they remain friends. Many times, a man and woman mean so much to each other that if their relationship doesn't work out, they will call it quits and terminate the friendship; they are close beyond comprehension. I think friendships between men & women have to stand the test of time in order for gender to become irrelevant; many times men and women secretly want to nail each other but are scared to take it there for fear of feelings developing. I think the real problems start occurring when you and/or your friend gets involved (and vice versa) due to jealousy. The man and/or woman is so used to having him/her all to themselves that they can't bear the thought of him or her being with another person. It boils down to ulterior motives, whether the man and woman want to be friends for sexual reasons or they truly care enough about each other to form a close bond that may evolve into something meaningful.

The Good Die Young

Another celebrity has left this world. R.I.P. to Whitney Houston. She was one of, if not the greatest singer of all time. To hear numerous testimonials from celebrities just proves she was loved/respected by all. Speculations are running rampant as to how she died; with drug abuse being the most likely (I think toxicology reports will be consistent with my opinion) cause. If you have fame and fortune, why would you screw up your life with drugs and alcohol? That's stupid. If you have to do drugs and get drunk in order to have a good time, something's wrong. I hope Whitney's death will serve as a wake-up call to celebrities who do drugs & drink to get help before it's too late. Once you get hooked, it's HARD to quit. Drug addiction is like a magnet that sucks you in. Once you're addicted, you sink deeper & deeper to a point where you can't recover and if you do, the damage is too severe. If I had her fame & fortune, I WOULD NOT get hooked on drugs or addicted to alcohol because of the repercussions. I could lose everything I worked so hard for, and I would damage my loved ones and I can't have that. It seems to me that many music legends have died before their time, most of whom were in their prime.

Success

People say success is nothing without someone to share it with. Well therein lies the problem...You're with the person for their success but were nowhere to be found during the struggle. When a person finally gets their big break, everybody and their mama want to show love like they played a part in that person's success. I feel like this: If you weren't part of the struggle, you don't deserve to be part of the shine. Period. Case In Point and this happens far too often: A woman and man get together with the intent of building a life together. They're both goal oriented but the woman can't see past the man's current situation and assumes he'll always be content with mediocrity. Little does she realize that man is in the process of making a better life for himself, but she's too impatient to see that so she leaves him. He may or may not be hurt so he focuses on his goal(s). Years later, that same woman sees him doing well for himself and is checking for him now. He's not giving her the time of day just like she wasn't patient with him during the grind. He's justified in his response because if you can't support a person during the struggle, you don't deserve to celebrate their success. Success is in my future, but I don't think I want anyone to share it with because other than a few close friends and family, nobody had my back during the struggle so they don't deserve to celebrate in my prosperity. That's what got T.O. (Terrell Owens) in his current mess; he was taking care of TOO MANY people and didn't know how to say no. He had the wrong people in his corner when years earlier, many of those people were probably nowhere to be found but when T.O. started making millions playing pro ball, they started hanging around him. When you make it big, always...ALWAYS keep your team small because you don't know who's for you because you're doing well and who's for you because they really want to be in your life.

Black-On-Black Murder

Black-On-Black murder is an epidemic in the black community. Everywhere you turn, you hear about a black person being killed by someone of his own race. I shake my head at black-on-black murders because blacks are doing to each other what white supremacist groups did to blacks decades earlier. There's no need for white supremacist groups to exterminate blacks because we (blacks) are doing a good enough job ourselves. I think self-hate and low self-esteem are the cause because if you don't value yourself, you won't value someone else. When drugs were brought into black neighborhoods, it turned into a melee because it fostered competition between gangs and drug dealers who fought for economic supremacy. Regular young black men got into the drug industry because it enabled them to provide for their families. There was a time when black people came together for a common cause. In the civil rights era when blacks faced discrimination and prejudice, they grouped up and handled business. Blacks of old got along. Those days are long gone and that's pathetic. We need to go back in the day where blacks fought with their fists instead of guns. If you have to pick up a gun to win a fight, you're a coward. Other races can come to America and co-exist but blacks have been in this country for centuries and can't co-exist. Going further, black on black murder can result from a black person being envious of another's success.

Karma

This blog was inspired by Michael Baisden's status. He asked "If it's true what goes around comes around, why are bad people doing good?" I ask myself that question everyday. All the status comments were terrific. My response is you reap what you sow, more than you sow and sooner (or later) than you sow. Like my mom says: You can get by, but you won't get away. That's true because when you think you've gotten by and you're going on with your life, that's when karma will get you. When karma gets you, it will leave a mark when life starts breaking down. It's the law of reciprocity (or golden rule), do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you sow goodness, you will reap goodness. The same principle applies to negativity, you get back what you put in. Take the vilest person who is going on with life without a care in the world; they think they're getting by but when he/she least expects it, that's when karma strikes. I do the best I can everyday so good can happen in my life. I couldn't live with myself knowing I did someone wrong and didn't make it right. I'll take good over bad karma all day, everyday.

Blessing In Disguise

We've all heard the term "Blessing In Disguise". What does it mean? Blessing in disguise means misfortune turned into success. At first glance, you don't see the good in a bad situation but as time passes, you realize it was a blessing that loss happened when it did because it could've been detrimental to your overall well-being. Some losses are actually blessings. When things go wrong, our first instinct is to fix the problem and be on our merry way. Why wouldn't we want things to be smooth-sailing? After all, that's the ideal world for us (as it should be). Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. When we experience a loss, it's normal to feel sad, angry, hurt, denial,etc. because people have a hard time accepting loss. Some people will do everything in their power to regain that loss, not realizing that God takes something away to prepare you for something better. Yes, it hurts at first because it meant so much but if a better opportunity comes along, I would embrace the better and forget the previous. From a relationship aspect, a man & woman get together with the intent of being married. Things are going good at first but rough times come. All hell breaks loose in the relationship and while the couple do everything possible to make the relationship work; something happens to break them up. Depending on the strength of the couple's love, they may go one more round or they cut their losses. If they go one more round, things will get worse to a point where they call it quits for good. Yes, the man and woman will miss each other but once they truly find Mr. &/or Mrs. Right, they realize it was a blessing the previous relationship failed because each person found somebody that truly makes them happy. People shouldn't be so quick to write off misfortune without taking time to realize that better is around the corner. It won't seem like it at first but when things turn around for the better, hopefully some people will realize that their success was wrapped in misfortune.

Tax Season

Tax season is upon us yet again; the time of year where people file their taxes & act a fool with that refund check. I get my taxes done for free at the community center and I get a hefty amount back every year. Unlike some people, my refund goes straight to my account because I never know when I'll get in a bind and there's nothing worse than needing money and not having it. It seems like you can get money for just about any & everything: claiming your children, someone else's kid, tithing to your church, student loan interest, etc. What baffles me is the new hustle some parents have going on: They don't do anything for their children all year but when tax season rolls around, they claim their child(ren). I enjoy getting money back on my taxes because I pay so much in taxes that a refund is like a reward. If you get your taxes done just right, you won't owe money or get a refund.