Men Wearing Pink

Since when did it become acceptable for men to wear pink? Pink has traditionally been a woman's color, always has and always will be. Under no circumstances should it be acceptable for a grown man to wear pink. I know a lot of women will say "A real man is secure enough in his manhood to wear pink and not care what others think or say" Yeah, right. Let's see how well it will go over when a guy comes to a woman wearing more pink than her. She would look at him like he's crazy and brush him off. Traditionally, men never wore pink so why all of a sudden is it the norm for men to wear pink? This is that craziness I see in society on the regular. I started this debate in one of the Facebook groups I participate in and it got pretty heated, which was the intent. You will NEVER, EVER catch Richard wearing pink under no circumstances. My mom asked me that question yesterday about why I don't wear pink and I told her straight up, pink is for women. There are traditional standards of manhood that men are to adhere to and wearing pink, in many man circles goes against manhood. I could care less what the next man does. If he wants to wear pink, that's on him but he can't get upset when other men clown him for it. It's ok to stand out but stand out for the right, not the wrong reason(s). I just feel it's sad how some men have forgotten manly principles/conduct and will wear any & everything with no regards. Men wearing pink has nothing to do with being secure to express themselves however one sees fit; it's about adhering to certain standards of conduct for men and women. Just like you wouldn't see men wearing handbags or hoop earrings (I hope not but you can never tell), men wearing pink should be outlawed.

Take It Or Leave It

We all have character/personality flaws, that's a given. I have them, you and everyone has them. Show me someone who's perfect (other than Jesus) and I'll show you a liar because none of us are perfect. Even though no one's perfect, that's no excuse for basking in your character/personality flaws. Some people take pride in the fact that they're mean/vindictive; you can call them on it until you're blue in the face and they'll still continue acting stupid. I look down on those kind of people and avoid them like the plague. There's nothing good about being difficult to get along with. If you have issues with everyone you meet, maybe the issue is YOU, not them. You need to work on yourself (I'm talking to myself just the same). Case in point, someone's ignorant and makes stereotypical statements with no remorse. They are called on their foolish statements but they  reply with "This is me, get over it." That's flaw and further shows your personality flaw. Thank goodness MOST people aren't foul like that. My view is that if you have a major personality/character flaw, fix it and keep moving. No sense in growing up to be an old fool. Some of these so-called adults need to grow up. Act your age and not your shoe size. The more people show their true colors, the more confirmation of my decision to stay to myself because I don't like flaw people. I guess that's why I prefer to hang with older people because older people have a lot more sense than people my age. Older folks have more life experience & wisdom that younger people don't have. I'm the last of a dying breed; meaning if someone gives me constructive criticism to help me improve, I make the adjustments. See how simple that was?

Friends & Associates

Most, if not all of us has a combination of friends and associates. We have people we've known all our lives and people that serve a specific purpose. I'm no different because while I have a select few friends, I have more associates. My associates are pretty much acquaintances, people that haven't made it to friend status but I do chat with here and there. I imagine it's like that for everyone because friendship takes time to develop; you have to invest time with someone in order for friendship to foster. Many people associate with others who are likeminded in thought, word, deed or goal. After the association has ran its course, the relationship dissolves. You have associations that turn into friendships because a group of people spend so much time together that it's almost natural for friendship to develop. My definition of a friend is someone who knows you inside & out, someone you can talk to about the ups and downs you're facing, a person that rejoices with you in your success and cries with you when you're going through rough times. An associate is someone you click up with for networking purposes; they can be influential in getting you where you want to go. Business associates are a good example of this because a rookie employee will click up with a vet in hopes the veteran will show him the ropes of the company so (s)he can work their way up. I think it's a given that we will have more associates than friends because it's not meant for one to have bookoo friends unless some people are just that good to where people are drawn to them. Of course, I believe that friendships can form from associations.

Prenuptial Agreements

Prenups are a popular topic in relationships. For some, prenups are a cushion just in case things go sour and others, prenuptial agreements conjure up feelings of anger & mistrust. I can see how prenups can bring up mistrust because couples don't trust each other to weather relationship storms together. Most people do not want to think about divorce and division of property before they even get married. However, with 41 percent of first marriages, 60 percent of second marriages and 73 percent of third marriages ending in divorce, it can be smart to have a prenuptial agreement. A prenuptial agreement outlines financial considerations in the event a marriage fails. Prenups often detail how assets will be divided, who is responsible for debts and whether a spouse will receive alimony. Prenups also force marrieds to discuss finances, which are among the top 3 for divorce. My take on prenups is pretty straightforward: Unless you're certain you and your s/o are going to be with each other for life, a prenup should never come into play but for couples who want a contingency plan, prenups would be in order. Prenups are a type of contract created by two people before entering into marriage. This contract could outline each party's responsibilities and property rights for the duration of the marriage. More commonly, prenuptial agreements outline terms and conditions associated with dividing up financial assets and responsibilities if the marriage dissolves. Prenuptial agreements have always been a very controversial topic for couples. Media portrayals of prenuptial agreements show them as devices that celebrities and other similar high net worth individuals use in order to cap the amount of wealth that an ex-spouse can claim. However, when carefully planned and used correctly, a prenuptial agreement can be a fair way of disbursing assets and responsibilities. I remember prenups were frowned upon in earlier times because they corrupted what marriage is supposed to stand for but as time passed, more people are wising up to the fact that in the best of marriages, you want to cover your bases. If your man/woman gets mad that you want them to sign a pre-nup, that's a red flag in my opinion and leaves the relationship a lot to be desired. 

Think Like A Man (Movie)

First off, it's good to get back into the blogging bit. I've been off for over a week and now I'm ready to do more blog commentary. There has been so much hype surrounding Think Like A Man that I had to go see it. The movie didn't disappoint as it came in #1 this weekend at $33 million. You had an All-Star cast in Michael Ealy, Terrence J, Kevin Hart, Taraji Henson and Steve Harvey. All of them did their thing. It's good to have a black comedy debut at #1 because it's not often that black romantic comedies come out on top. What I liked about the movie is that it was based on Steve Harvey's book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. You had the mama's boy, the overly independent, professional woman, single mother and the player. The funny thing is that many people can relate to the movie as many of the scenarios play out in most relationships. I liked how all the couples came together and squashed their differences. The concept was on point because in order for a woman to have a successful relationship with a man, she must be able to think like one. A woman has to get deep into a man's psyche and find out how he thinks, what he feels, what his outlook is, etc. Once she starts seeing the relationship from his eyes, she will have a better understanding of who he is as a person and will be able to better meet his requirements. Yes, the book is geared towards women but men can also benefit from it as well. I know how men think because I'm one. A woman gains insight about men from her father, uncles, brother(s), male cousins and her guy friends. Steve Harvey did pretty good for his first movie, I look forward to more movies from him especially if they're going to be blockbusters like this one was.

Where The Real Men At?

I was listening to a blog radio broadcast on Tuesday titled Independent Women: The Death Of Manhood. It was a wonderful broadcast as the ladies and fellas went back and forth on the subject. Both sides made great points. The broadcast got me thinking about that very topic. Are independent women the death of manhood? Have independent women killed manhood? The answers are as varied as human beings. Some say yes, others are on the fence and some will say no. I believe that an independent woman is an asset to a strong man because where he falls short, she's by his side and vice versa. Most men want an independent woman and why wouldn't they? She's got her own mind and is doing for herself. Back in the day, men were MEN. They were leaders/providers, protectors and they cherished the women in their lives. Nowadays, many men aren't doing their jobs so the woman has no choice except independence. No woman is going to sit back and watch the house go under if the man's not doing what he's supposed to do. She's going to step up to the plate. Real, thoroughbred men are the last of a dying breed because there's not too many of them around. If they are, the good women have sense enough to snatch them up. Coming from an emotional aspect, A man being real and open with his feelings is one who has found the right woman to open up to. A weak man is one that doesn't know how to pull his skirt up and expects the woman to fight for him and handle business that he should be taking care of. This is a common complaint among women, that there aren't enough thoroughbreds around. You have men dressing like women; sporting skinny jeans & leggings, rocking earrings like the crap isn't wrong. Back in the day that was frowned upon and now that garbage is seen as normal. My how standards have fallen. My theory is that a man has no right to call himself a real man if he's not acting as such. By that I mean, being a leader and taking responsibility.

Leaving The Church: A Hurt Perspective

Church should be the one place where you find love, encouragement & support. You would think that's the case (which it is for the most part) but some people end up permanently leaving the church due to an offense from a member. What the offense is remains to be seen but for one reason or another, people are leaving the church in droves. I find this sad because although church is for the flawed (Christians are not perfect, contrary to what the world will have you believe), Christians should be held to a higher standard and rightfully so. I couldn't live with myself knowing I was the cause of someone leaving the church. If I'm wrong, I'm man enough to admit it and keep moving. My heart goes out to everyone who left the church on bad terms due to a horrible childhood tragedy or some other offense. With all the hurting people in this world, church is to be the one place they can come to for emotional healing. One of my mom's closest friends has been out of church for years due to a fellow Christian saying something so hurtful she up and left. She still loves God but she doesn't feel a need to go to church because in her mind, she and God get along just fine. My mom continually tells her to get back in the church but she refuses to listen. I do believe if you have a relationship with God and you read the Word, pray and live accordingly to the best of your ability, then you have no use for the church. You can do independent Bible study, which is what many Christians that are no longer in the church do because they still want to remain close to God. We've all been hurt, are hurting now or will be hurt and church is no exemption. When you have baggage, you will unfairly take it out on the next person. You don't mean to but when you feel like the weight of the world is on you, you do whatever necessary to remove that weight and if it means unintentionally hurting someone, so be it. Who knows how many people could have came to God if they weren't hurt by someone in the church? Now that they've left, it's unknown. I hope everyone who has been hurt is able to heal and return to the church, realizing that church people are flawed just like everyone else.

Preacher's Kids turned celebrities

The number of celebrities that grew up in the church is outstanding. You'd never know it because they rarely, if ever acknowledge God for their fame & fortune. Many music celebs got their start in the church: Snoop Dogg, K-Ci and Jojo, Jennifer Hudson, Toni Braxton and her sisters, etc. The most notable ones are Toni Braxton and her sisters because both of their parents were pastors and they frowned upon secular music. After a while, the Braxton sisters parents eventually let them do their thing and from what I can see, they haven't forgotten where they come from and I respect that. From time to time, they broke out some old-school church harmonies on Braxton Family Values. Many singers got their first start in their church choir and from that point on, God anointed them to sing and it was a wrap. You have celebrities that grew up in the church and go bonkers. I guess being raised in a strict religious household can cause one to rebel because the assumption is that your life has to be based around church; having a life is frowned upon.

Teacher/Administrator Sexual Abuse

In light of the incidents involving sexual abuse between male teachers and female students and female teachers with their underage male students, one thing .certain...Sexual abuse stretches across all genders and races. It's true the vast majority of sex abuse cases involve men and little girls but after watching a documentary on Channel 46 that profiled female teachers being charged with sexual relations with their underage male students, women are rapidly catching up to men. Why is there little to no outrage when sexual abuse takes place between older women and underage boys but people are quick to raise hell when a grown man sexes an underage girl? That's a little lop-sided to me. Sexual abuse is foul, no matter who does it. I will point out that most teenage boys have fantasies about being with an older woman and when it happens, they feel good so I guess that's why there's not as much outrage when a female teacher/administrator sexes an underage boy. Let it be the other way around and the man will be crucified. If you're going to be outraged over an incident, it should be all across the board. Women who sexually abuse underage boys SHOULD NOT get a pass because she's attractive. Men don't, so why should she? As the documentary was going on, the narrator brought up an interesting point: The more attractive the predator, the less stiffer sentence she receives. Wow...I guess looks will get you far in life. I read about a story where an attractive female teacher had sex with one of her underage male students; she sends him racy texts & pictures and they meet up one day and do the do. These two teenage boys were giving their $.02 cents and they confirmed a lot of the hypocrisy: Most underage boys dream about being with an older woman and when it happens, they keep it on the low because it was enjoyable mostly for the boy (although I don't doubt she got a kick out of the act). If kids aren't safe at school, where can children go to be safe? I see why many parents opt for homeschool or private school (the incident of sexual abuse is far lower in private schools than public schools).

Jealousy

Jealousy is not a good look. Most people who say they aren't jealous of someone are usually lying because when another person achieves success, some people start hating on him/her. Why be jealous of someone? It doesn't make sense to me. We all chart our life's course. You can be just as successful as another person if you make the right moves and keep the faith. Jealousy reflects poorly on the person than the object of his/her's envy. I'm not jealous of anyone, why would I be? I like to see others doing well because chances are, they had to go through a lot to get where they're at. Going further, seeing someone else make it inspires me to keep pushing forward and use some of their strategies to reach my goal(s) faster. I'm too busy on my grind to be envious of another person. Some people get so envious they scheme to bring him/her down because they can't stand to see someone doing better than them. We need to get it together people, really. Many people don't have anything worthwile to be jealous of so to be envious over the average Joe Schmoe is ridiculous. This is why I keep my team small. When I make it, I want to be around genuine people that will celebrate my success with me, not snakes (People who smile in your face but cut your throat in a minute). Life is too short for jealousy.

Relationship Accountability

Accountability is a part of life, whether we like it or not. We're accountable to God, above all else but we're also accountable to certain people in our lives. Employees are accountable to management, husbands accountable to wives and vice versa. As much as we'd like no accountability in this world, it wasn't designed that way. When you're in a relationship, you have to sacrifice a certain amount of freedom or otherwise the relationship won't succeed. The problem with relationships is that couples want the freedom to rip & run like there's no tomorrow. They don't want to settle down because that means having enough respect for their mate to cease detrimental behaviors. I understand not wanting a controlling man/woman but if you care for someone like you say, you will respect them enough to cease & desist on detrimental behaviors. If that person leaves you because you lay down the law, they did you a favor. They showed you their true colors so you're better off without them. Case in point: A husband comes home at 2am during the week and his wife interrogates him on his whereabouts: Is that her right? It depends on the reason. If he legitmately had to work, yes but he should call to inform the misses that he will be home late. This way, she won't worry. If he comes home at 2am during the week because he was hanging with the fellas, then yes she does have a right to question him. There's nothing for one to do in a city that warrants staying out into the wee hours of the morning. Relationships involve give & take. There are couples that don't check in with each other because they don't see a need. As long as they come home to each other, that's all that matters. Those kind of relationships are based on trust, which I can respect. If you trust your man/woman to come home to you then what's the point of checking in?