First off, I don't know of ANY MAN that has an issue with independent women. According to Facebooker Deanna Butler, she feels men have issues with independent women. First off, men don't have issues with independent women, it's the arrogance & attitude that comes with it. Here's a few comments from the debate (over 200 comments and counting)
"It just seems like they want a woman who is down on her luck or something. I just don't know any more."-Lovely Day
"It's been my experience that men are wired to be needed and wanted. So if a woman is independent where she hasn't saved room for him besides in her bed, what's the point. I think most men appreciate a woman whose well rounded and can hold it down. They just don't like the attitude some "independent" women have. But I'm not a man and I'm single so what do I know...."-Twanna Gill
Michael Garrett: Not all men have a problem with this, what I do have a problem with is a woman trying to be the Alpha male in our household!
Richard Hudson (myself): 😴It's the attitude that comes with being independent. Some women like to scream they don't need a man (which may be true), soooo...why are you looking for what you don't need?
Swoll Heffner: We don't have issues with independent woman at all. What we have issues with are the women who uses her status as a token to prove over achievements in their education and careers. We're proud of those accomplishments, but it's the women that becomes shallow in those feats that we don't like or appreciate.... Deanna Butler
Darnell Cooper's comment was spot on: After someone defines "being independent" as not being an insufferable bitch,.. the convo will start.
Harsh to say it that way,.. but I had run into enough "independent women" who believes "Independent" = "Having it her way" up to and including Spending his money, burning his time, scheduling stuff that doesn't inconvenience her.
I don't feel any pity for those women who see independence this way and complain that men don't accept it,.. life is too short.
C Rob Jones: Its not that she's independent.... Its the fact that most self proclaimed independent have this level of arrogance that turn men off. Its great that you are doing your thing ... very great.. need more like ya.. however SOME are just too much and too independent
Ranata Denise: They wanna play captain save a hoe. Lbs. I don't know why a woman can't be proud about being a success. So men can be arrogant but not women? I see men throw around their success left and right. And I don't think women say they don't need a man cuz they are independent. They say it cuz they are fed up, like most women, with men. That's my take on it. Of course we need a man, but we're not hurting without one is all that means.
Michael Moultrie: I am being honest with you. I will put this on my deceased father and uncle. I have never ever heard in my circle of friends or family about them feeling any type of way that a woman is doing good financially better than them. That has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life. If somebody really thinks about it, how dumb does that shit sound. Most men got problems with that fake attitude that comes with it. If you don't need anybody spiritually, financially, or physically then you need to stay single. I am not dating anybody that doesn't serve me any purpose or I don't need them in some type of form or fashion.
Twanna Gill: I feel like if you are with a man you can't trust to lead the relationship he's simply the wrong guy for you. Doesn't necessarily reflect badly on either person.
Lovely Day: I believe in being capable or having the funds to get it done, single or in a relationship. I won't be alpha but I can't be so dependent either.
Robin Butler: I'm old school and I like the traditional household. That's always been my dream. My mother work but she doesn't have to. If she walked in a quit my dad wouldn't say a word. My grandparents were the same way. The men always took care of the woman and she took care of the house. So I guess its embedded. I can handle my own don't get me wrong but I do respect having a mam around the house.
Richard Hudson: Lovely Day, my approach to relationships is simple: There can only be one chief in the relationship. If she refuses to submit even after I've shown myself worthy of following, I can't, and choose not to deal with her any further.
Neathra Stanberry: I don't think its that "men" have an issues with the woman being successful or independent. I think its the attitude that comes with "what most men assume" women with this type of success will portray. As soon as I say what my profession or where i live the very first thing i hear is "oh you like to be in control". I think most of us assume.
From these comments, you have a balanced view. Some believe men don't have a problem with independent women, others do, and according to their old-school upbringing, they feel like the man should lead. I'm all for a man leading, but there are areas where the wife may be better in, so he would be wise to defer to her strengths. The man has a different perspective than his lady, so he can see things a little more clear. There are times where the man leads, and times where he has to defer to his lady.
