Strawberry Letter | He No Longer Wants to Come to Bed

You don't say? A woman shows her man how to treat her by how she sees herself. If she dogs herself, he's going to pick up on that. She said she's not the best looking, she picked up some weight, etc. From what I heard, she's an awesome wife and it's shameful her husband verbally abuses her. Maybe he's not happy with her, and doesn't know how to express that. After all, they haven't sexed in over a year. Think about it, she's affectionate and loving towards her husband and ANY man in his right mind would reciprocate. Worst case scenario: He's cheating. Any man that dogs his wife & withholds affection has to be cheating. This reminds me of Why Did I Get Married, when Sheila (Jill Scott) was grossly disrespected by her husband. He wouldn't touch her, but he was good at putting her down. Once she found herself, she left her ex-husband and married Troy (Lamman Rucker). Now, the ex was trying to get his woman back, but she wasn't having it. In short, she told her ex to get lost. I hope this woman can love herself enough to do one of two things: Demand her husband love & respect her, or leave. It's just a matter of time before verbal abuse turns into physical abuse. There are men that are dying to have a good woman to love on, and she lets this clown disrespect her. This letter is sad, but it's what many couples face in their relationships. People treat you how you allow. She's scared to stand up to her husband because she doesn't want him going upside her head, so she figures she deserves the verbal abuse. I guess he knows how to hurt his woman by withholding affection from her. After all, women love affection from their husbands.

It's None Of My Business

1. You look fresh to death, but your child(ren) looking rough; that's none of my business.

2. The disconnect between black men & women will forever be an issue. Just read some of the statements in Facebook relationship groups. That's none of my business.

3. Some women want men to tolerate their issues, but they won't work with a man on his shortcomings. That's none of my business.

4. There isn't THAT much going on in your city to where you have to be out all the time. Learn how to have several seats. That's none of my business.

5. I really think some of Steve Harvey's Strawberry Letters are for shock value. No one can be THAT screwed up. It's none of my business.

6. Some (wo)men sleep around, then have the nerve to come home to each other like nothing happened; that's none of my business.

7. A wife makes more than her husband, but the man has the nerve to call himself the head? That's none of my business.

8. Stubborn & combative people call themselves strong; that's none of my business.

9. Men who gossip about other men have woman tendencies, but that's none of my business.

10. Men who compromise manhood for women's approval are simps, but that's none of my business.

11. Fathers who weren't around for their child(ren) while they were young, then come around when their children are successful; they are the epitome of flaw. Again, that's none of my business.

No Children=Selfish?

Why do people still have ancient thoughts that you can't enjoy life without kids? You look around and see families everywhere: Husband & Wife, and children. Just because some people have children, doesn't mean everyone has to follow suit. Not everyone wants children, and that's ok. I see children with deadbeat parents, and I wonder why they even had children. If you're not going to properly care for your child(ren), put them up for adoption. There are parents waiting to adopt children into a loving & supportive environment. Let's be honest, having children is a major responsibility. You're talking about raising someone from birth to 18. Once that child becomes of age to where (s)he can do for self, they move out on their own. Even though a parent has raised children, adult children still need their parents for guidance. Here's a thought: Some people don't want kids, and they're within their right.

If you don't want children, you're assumed to be selfish because of societal pressure. Everybody seems to be getting married nowadays. Never mind that some people are on their 2nd or 3rd marriage, but I digress. If you're selfish, that's a good enough reason not to have children. Once children come into the picture, it's about them. Everything a parent does has to be done with their child(ren) in mind. Your child(ren) need new school clothes, but you have $5000 saved up for a cruise. If you're committed to your children, you'll sacrifice the cruise so your children can have new clothes for the upcoming school year. "Me" becomes "We" as soon as children come into the picture. That selfishness should fly out the window. In some religions, it's considered sinful to not procreate. For example: The Muslim religion states that it's a man's duty to find a wife to bare children with.

Some people may be genuinely selfish. Those people have no business having children because they're just going to put their children aside while they "turn up". If someone's not ready to be a parent, the children suffer. Why do you think there are so many deadbeat parents? Because they weren't ready to sacrifice "me" for "we {the child(ren)}".

A Good Man Leaves An Inheritance

What is a good man? Depending on who you ask, you'll get several different answers. Some will say a good man does right by his woman & family; Some will base it on financial posession. For every person in this world, you'll get different answers as to what a good man is. A good man is a man who leaves an inheritance for his family. Long after he's gone, his presence is still felt because he had such an impact that his lessons still live on through his child(ren). A good man leaves a financial inheritance for his children; he's been toiling for years just to make sure his family is straight, should something happen to him. He doesn't put his family in jeopardy of losing everything they've worked hard to attain because of taking out loans on vehicles that were already paid for. Tell me, if someone gives you $7000 to pay off your vehicle, why would you take out a loan on an already paid for vehicle? That's dumb.

From a financial standpoint, a good man leaves his family with such a financial inheritance that they will be taken care of long after he's gone from this world. I don't know about you, but if God sees fit for me to be married, then I'll definitely move heaven & earth to ensure that my family is taken care of. What do I look like leaving my family with my debt? They shouldn't suffer because of my financial irresponsibility so that's why I'm disciplined with how I spend my money. If I can't pay cash for it, I don't buy it. If I use a credit card, I pay the entire balance at once so I can get back to 0. I can't understand how a so-called "head of household" man could rack up so much debt that his family is going to be left with his bills, on top of what they already have.

A good man leaves a strong moral foundation. His family will carry on his legacy so it's important a man sets the right example of how to conduct himself in a corrupt, godless society. When he hurts someone, he's man enough to apologize. Children learn more from what a parent does, rather than what they say. If a man disrespects his wife in front of the children, what is he teaching his son? He's teaching his son that it's ok to mistreat women. If he has a daughter, he's teaching her that it's ok to be mistreated. When a family doesn't see their father reading the Bible, they're learning that he doesn't need God to help him guide his family; he can guide his family on his own.

God Will Never Give You Someone Else's Blessing: By Tyrese Gibson

Tyrese brought a word with this video:

God Will Never Give You Someone Else's Blessing

Money Train

Tyler Perry & Steve Harvey are great friends. Collectively, they tell women what they want to hear and they gobble it up by showing support for Tyler Perry plays & films, Steve Harvey films, etc. The moral of the story is: Get women behind you, and the money train will grow. Because women support Steve Harvey and Tyler Perry, those two are among the most successful & wealthy black men. I'm proud of those brothers because they've come a long way, and they deserve their success. Let's be honest; if TP & Steve Harvey started telling it like it is, their fan base would cease to exist. Many men aren't too fond of Steve Harvey & Tyler Perry as is, so with women making up their fan base, I guess Steve & Tyler Perry have to continue catering to women. The sad part is, many of them don't realize they're being sold a dream.

Tell a woman what she wants to hear, and you win every time. Sounds good doesn't it? At the same time, some women will say she needs a real man, a strong man. For all this wisdom they impart (I will admit, they do have useful information), you'd think adjustments would've been made in gender relations dynamics, and yet there's more of the same relationship outcomes. What works against women is their unwillingness to listen, learn and adjust. Men know this and use their bullheaded nature against them to our advantage. There are some well-versed women that don't subscribe to Steve Harvey's 'Think Like A Man" mantra, but that's because their fathers and other men in their lives have already schooled them. From this blog, I've learned one thing: Tell a woman what she wants to hear, a man is revered. If you keep it real, she could hate you.

All In The Family

I have gotten myself involved in a love triangle, and I desperately need to get out of it. A few weeks back, my wife came to me and told me she had spoken to her mother and the mother said her father has ED (erectile dysfunction). My wife told me her mother wanted to stay with him, but she has natural needs that she needs fulfilled. Right about this same time, my mother-in-law started hitting on me. I was totally forthcoming with my wife about her mother’s inappropriate verbal comments, like “I bet you have a monster down there!” My wife excused it by saying her mother is just sexually frustrated. I rebuffed her mom’s advances, but they kind of peaked my interest. My wife said she spoke to her mom and her mother told her that she wanted to have sex with me. She told my wife that we could help “save the family.” My wife told me that she wanted me to consider helping her mother out, but I was completely thrown back. I made a vow to my wife and to God to be faithful to my wife! My wife felt that saving our family was more important and since her mom sacrificed a lot to raise her, so this was just a small thing to ask for in return. I did not feel this way. I am a church boy and my wife was my first. After a few weeks of being pressured by my wife and mother in law and with my wife’s blessing, I slept with my mother in law and OMG!!! As I said, my wife is the extent of my sexual experience and my wife’s sexual experiences were limited as well… But her mother has opened my eyes to a whole new world of sexual exploits and I love it! I feel so guilty because I want to have sex with my mother-in-law more than my wife, and it doesn’t help that she is an absolutely stunning woman, I mean she is bad! She and my wife look more like sisters than mother and daughter. She’s a mix between Angela Bassett and Halle Berry! I told my wife that I needed to end the arrangement with her mother because I did not feel comfortable anymore. My wife told me if I wanted her to learn new tricks, she would join her mother and I the next time, to “get some pointers.” Needless to say, her mother is teaching US well. My wife is now a beast in the sheets and she tells me her mother’s relationship with her father has improved greatly. I feel so guilty because I have a great relationship with my father-in-law, who is also the pastor at my church. I need to get out of this situation, but I do not want to destroy the family or my church.

Congratulations to this couple for bringing shame to their family. It's one thing for a man to sleep with his attractive mother-in-law, but when his wife co-signed, that's just foul. This is why I say that most couples don't respect marriage, because of mess like this. I wish I would even think of sleeping with my mother-in-law; it's not worth the embarrassment I'd feel if this got out. Truthfully, he's wanted to sleep with his mother-in-law from Day 1, and he needed confirmation from his wife. This strawberry letter reminds me of a Fresh Prince episode where Phillip's former college girlfriend Janice Robertson (Pam Grier) comes to visit Phillip, and old feelings resurface. By this time, Phillip is already married with a family of his own. Will is seeing her daughter and Janice becomes attracted to Will. Allegedly, Will and Janice sleep together and once word gets out, it causes a big mess. This guy sacrificed his character for mother-in-law good good.
Obviously the husband DOESN'T feel guilty because he's going back for seconds, thirds, etc. He did say his mother-in-law is a cross between Angela Bassett & Halle Berry. Regardless of how fine his mother-in-law is, that's no excuse for violating his marriage, even with his wife's "blessing". According to the Bible, blessings bring no sorrow with them. I can see why sex is supposedly viewed as an important part of marriage, because if you're not getting it from your spouse, you will look for it elsewhere. I can imagine how the father-in-law is going to feel once this love triangle gets out. Remember the 70's show All In The Family? They're definitely keeping it All In The Family with this love triangle. As the head, he's supposed to set the example. The husband should have put his foot down and said NO. Vows to God carry far more weight than "saving your family." I would feel some kind of way if my wife gave me her "blessing" to sleep with her attractive mother-in-law.
A SMALL thing? Asking your husband to sleep with your mother in law to save your marriage doesn't qualify as a "small" request. As the Bible states, what's done in the dark will come to the light. This is the kind of mess that destroyed Sodom & Gomorrah, gross perversion.

Ball Til You Fall

While I was on Facebook yesterday, I read an article about a woman who won $10 million & was broke within 5 years. Chances are, she did the following: Went on a shopping spree, took expensive vacations, hooked up so-called "family & friends", and the list goes on. To be honest, $10 million isn't a lot of money considering what's left after taxes. If you win $10 million dollars, you're left over with $5-$6 million after taxes. From there, so-called "family & friends" come out of the woodwork and you decide to break them off a little something, then you go on vacations and buy luxury clothes & cars. You're lucky to have $2 million left over, if that. If you're fiscally conservative like myself, I'm thinking of how to grow that $10 million. I may want to leave that money to my family should something happen to me, but I digress. Khrystle Nichole (a Facebook friend) posted a real quote (I'm paraphrasing): "If you want someone's true colors, give them liquor and a large sum of money". Then, wait for it...wait for it.

She's right. Alcohol & a large sum of money is truth serum. If you want to find out a lot about a person, give them a large monetary amount and alcohol and watch the truth flow like rivers of living water. I have a theory as to why some people ball til they fall: They're not used to having anything, so when they get a little change, it flows out just as fast as they got it. Going out and buying homes, luxury clothing and vehicles, etc; that's all crazy to me. From time to time, I comment on threads asking "What would you do if you won millions of dollars?" I always respond with: Tithe 20% to my church (10% off the top, the other 10% as an offering.), invest a portion, and set up a trust fund for my nieces. I don't need to take lavish vacations or buy luxury cars because those things don't define me. I will say this much: If God sees fit to bless me with multi-millions of dollars, I will bless those who God lays on my heart to bless. Those who I knew since day 1, they'll get a little something, but other than that, I wouldn't do anything different than what I do now.

This whole "Ball Til You Fall" mentality that people have when they win the lottery is exactly why many people end up broke within 5 years, and some sooner than that. They're not used to having money, they attract the wrong crowd, and they're overcompensating in some way because a lot of people who came into millions of dollars, have come from nothing. They're not trying to go back to poverty, so in some way I understand why they ball til they fall. They want to have fun, even if it's for a little time.

Punchanella: By Nojma Reflects

This one is for all the Punchanella women. You want to do everything a man can do? You believe you can do everything a man can do? Ok. Protect yourself. Secure yourself. Don't look for a man to assist you at all. Don't worry about chivalry and a man opening doors. You got it Babygirl...open your own door.

You're struggling with boxes or groceries? Figure it out on your own. Pay your own bills. You on a date? Pay for your own meal. Better yet..pay for HIS. Don't look for your neighbor to come take a look at a leak coming from your car. You got this! Tire blown out on the high way? Tell that Black Man that asks you if you need any help....no sir I have it handled. 

This foolishness comes from women. Talking about we are equal. Can a man give birth? That's an example of inequality right there. How many men do you hear say man I wish I could give birth. I want to know what a contraction feels like. The hypocrisy of it all is that if we heard a Brother say I want to be like a woman...we'd call him a punk. 

That's why I posted about femininity. Too many of us are trying to dabble in masculinity. Our voices are sounding all gruff and heavy. We have become very aggressive. We will actually try to run up on you and go toe to toe with you like we're men. We don't understand how to be soft and delicate. We want to be so hardcore. That's automatic man repellent! 

We are so busy trying to be men that we are missing out on the essence of our womanhood. We want to race and beat you to the finish line. Hell, our enemy already gave us a head start. Instead of holding hands and running together we'd rather mock you and cross that line by ourselves. Talking about we won. Lies! We are LOSING! Us and our faux victories. Majority of our households ran by Single Mothers. ..does that sound like a bunch of winners to you? Our Boys left behind and are failing academically. ..does that sound like winning to you?

Wait. What am I thinking? Yall ain't playing for the home team. You're on the starting line up for our enemy...vying for the coveted title of MVP...Most Valuable PAWN.

Mother-In-Law Vs. Wife

Strawberry Letter: I would like some knowledge on how to handle this matter. The problem I am having is that is that my wife and my mother do NOT get along at this current time! I am African American and my wife is Caucasian. We also have two bi-racial children. There has been tension between my mother and wife since I returned back from overseas. When we were just dating, my mom would always call and check up on my wife, but after we got married it seemed that the relationship between the two started to spiral out of control. There has been two occasions. On the first occasion, I had a Re-integration meeting with my unit arriving from deployment and for some reason, my mother was in an ill mood over my wife choosing to sit in a different part of the room. My wife soon started to notice that there was a bad vibe at that time. Shortly thereafter, we headed back to our home along with my mother and sister. At a particular point they started to argue and name call so much it made me sick to my stomach and upset. For a while, they would not talk and my children could not see my side of the family because my wife refused to be around them at the time. After that storm blew over, they slowly started to make amends be respectful of one another. On the second occasion, we went to visit my mother on Easter Sunday and everything was going fine until my nephew got a scratch under his eye. My mother automatically blamed my wife of doing something to him, when it was clearly my daughter who had a toy she was waving around and accidentally hit my nephew in the face, in which I witnessed. My mom started to curse, yell and shout at my wife and at that time I told my wife that we were leaving, so we left. Later on, my wife told me that she did not want to be, nor the kids around my mom. This hurts me terribly because I love my mother. She raised all four of my siblings and myself on her own as a single parent and I respect her for that. But, I feel that my kids will suffer from most of this nonsense. They hardly ever get to see my side of the family as it is and they love it anytime they are around their cousins from my side of the family. I don’t know what to do sometimes and would like your opinion. Should I go against my wife’s wishes and take them to see my mother and family when she goes to work or should I just let it go and keep the distance and contribute to my kids not getting to see and know their family? I’m torn between the two, what should I do? 

My Response: It's sad when your mother and wife can't get along, and the kids are suffering through most of this garbage. The mother-in-law and wife are under no obligation to get along, but they can be civil for the children's sake. They think the children aren't paying attention, but they are. Kids are very perceptive; they know when something's not right. As the head of household, he needs to squash this since the mother and wife won't. It's always tough to see your mother and wife battling, but that's life. Situations like this will make someone choose between their wife and mother. A mother is a man's first example of a woman, so it's understandable if he sides with mom. Once a man takes a woman to be his wife, the wife becomes first priority. There's a reason why the mother doesn't like her son's wife, and it could be because of her race. Even though great strides have been made in race relations, we still have a ways to go before we reach equality. He doesn't have to have his wife's approval to take the children around his family, just do it. The kids deserve to see their father's side of the family; after all, the children do enjoy seeing their cousins from dad's side, so even if mom and wife can't co-exist, the kids don't have to suffer because the adults want to act stupid. He needs to tell his mother that although he loves and respects her, his first priority is to his wife. If she can't be civil to his wife, then she runs the risk of not seeing her grandchildren. Period. Sometimes, a man must put his foot down for his wife even if that means his relationship could be damaged with his mother or immediate family member.

You Picked Him!

Yesterday was Father's Day, a day set aside to honor fathers who have shaped their children's lives in remarkable ways. There has been an attack on fatherhood for quite some time. Bitter single mothers have gone so far as to demand recognition on Father's Day. You'll have some single mothers that acknowledge themselves on Father's Day, saying "I'm the mother and father to my child(ren) so I deserve recognition on Father's Day too." Unless she's a hermaphrodite, a mother can never play a father's role. Try as she may, but we all know the result of a single mother trying to raise a man. Children learn the most from what they're around on a daily basis. If a boy is raised around women, he's going to pick up feminine traits. Why do you think some of these young men are so fruity? Because they've been exposed to women all their lives. It's not the boy's fault. If the child's biological father refuses to be in his child(ren)'s life, the mother has no choice but to do what she needs to do. Still, there are father figures that a boy can learn manhood from.

Not all single mothers are single moms by choice. Sometimes, single mothers become as such through no fault of their own. If a father refuses to be involved in his child(ren)'s lives, that's his perogative. Just know that children are very smart. They know who's had their back from day 1. A mother has to do whatever's necessary to provide the best possible life for her child(ren), with or without him. What I can't stand is bitter single mothers who want recognition on Father's Day. I understand those single moms are upset at their child(ren)'s father, but she picked him! She should've known he was no good before she opened for business. So many women have babies by deadbeat men, and expect these men to take responsibility for that child. At some point, some women have to use better judgment in selecting a man to lay down with. If she can't see herself long term with him, why would she have his baby? A single mother cannot complain about her child(ren)'s father being a deadbeat. Why? BECAUSE SHE PICKED HIM.

But..

BUT is a powerful word in the deflector's arsenal. When (s)he is trying to explain their reasoning behind their action(s), they take the responsibility off themselves by inserting the word BUT. Here are some examples:

I was wrong for cheating on him/her, but...(s)he's never home...I got lonely, what else am I supposed to do?

I hit my (wo)man, but he shouldn't have pissed me off.

In these instance, the word but was used to deflect responsibility onto the victim, like as to say the victim is responsible for the outcome. When it comes to domestic abuse, the victim is never at fault, it's always the offender because (s)he (the offender) doesn't know how to control their anger. Domestic abuse could be a generational curse in some families, but at some point people need to ween themselves off of the word but. The word "but" negates everything said before, so I love when some people use that word, because they're showing how much of an adult they're not. Keep up the deflection, it looks good on you (sarcasm).

Do Men Respect Women Who Forgive Them For Cheating?

Do men respect their woman if she forgives him for cheating? That depends on the man. A good man respects his woman enough NOT to cheat on her, because he knows what that will do to her, and not too many women will let themselves get played over and over. She takes him back once, that's fine. When a man cheats again & she takes him back, I wonder what's going on with her self-esteem. When you have someone that's good to you, do everything in your power to hold onto them, because there are plenty of people waiting to take your spot. As a matter of fact, a good catch is a hot commodity. Everyone is gunning for them. Even the wrong people are looking at a good (wo)man as a prize because of their character. I have a hard time believing a man respects his woman for forgiving him of his indisrections. There are some women who will cut a man off at the first indiscretion, and that's to be expected.

I have a hard time believing a man respects his woman for forgiving him of his indisrections. There are some women who will cut a man off at the first indiscretion, and that's to be expected. Why stay while the other person continues to mistreat you? I've never understood that and never will. Here's the thing: If a man is bold enough to cheat on his woman, he has no respect for her. How can you respect someone you cheat on? You can't. If he respected her before & the cheating was a moment stupidity, then I think he does respect his woman since she took him back. After all, she didn't have to take him back. She could've left him to play sad R&B songs, but she found it in her heart to forgive him and give him another shot. What he does with that second chance is on him. I believe respect flies out the window when there's cheating. If you respect someone, it shows in the way you treat them. 

Inappropriate Stepdaughter

It should be understood there are some things you just don't know, and walking around in your bra & panties is one of them. If an underage child lives with their parents, I'm sure his/her parents told them to put some clothes on when they walk around the house. It's a respect thing. This morning's Strawberry Letter is about a spoiled 19-year old stepdaughter who is feeling herself to where she parades around the home in her bra & panties. The father is 45, and has 3 other children. The stepfather doesn't know if he should back off or confront the stepdaughter via the wife. As the head of household, this guy needs to put his foot down. Tell her to stop being so fast in walking around in her undergarments. If the stepdaughter gets mad, so what? Notice how this child won't pull that with her mother, but he's let her get away with that for so long, that he can't reign her in. No man should have to remove himself from any place in the household. He wants Steve to "watch out" how he talks about his daughter, but he called her a NASTY behind. 

Let me address an ugly TRUTH that people turn a blind eye to. He's LUSTing after his step daughter. TRUTH be told, he's already had SEX with her in his mind, so he's probably not far from SEXING her. The words we speak are very powerful. When he referred to her as nasty, he's speaking that into existence for his stepdaughter- that's why it casually rolls off his mouth. Whther he likes it or not, that's the TRUTH. Out of four children, why does the majority think he spoils THIS one? Her behavior didn't start yesterday. Why does she feel comfortable strutting around the house with next to nothing on and with total disregard for the next person's feeling?. Why doesn't she ACT like this when your wife is present? He should've addressed this inappropriate behavior with his WIFE. His eyes and mind have already humped her daughter and it's a short matter of time before you attempt the physical act. That's the TRUTH. I guess it slipped his mind not to mention the gender of your other children. You should also want to "give your life for" all your children, not just the 19 year old as you singled out. He's not slick.

These N***** Aren't Loyal

You had to know I was going to flip it on the men, right? Right. What's good for one, is good for the other. Ever since this term "These Hoes Aren't Loyal" gone viral, people have taken that statement and ran with it. Personally, I'm sick of that term because some people run it into the hole. Since some men love spouting how women aren't loyal, neither are they. A man meets a respectable woman who's compatible with him, they get married but...he's been cheating on his woman long before marriage. She never found out, which is the strange part. How can you be married to someone for years, and not know they're creeping? Many women have very good discernment, so they know what's up in their relationship. If something's not right, a woman will investigate because her discernment won't allow her to be made a fool of. I'm getting tired of some men saying how "hoes" aren't loyal, when men cheat just as much as, if not more than women.

Just like hoes aren't loyal, neither are some men. One good woman isn't enough for some men, he's got to have a bevy of women. If a man can't appreciate one good woman, something's wrong. When I think of men dogging women, I think of a little boy who hasn't grown up. He doesn't realize the value of a good woman because he hasn't had suitable examples. It's well known if a man doesn't have a stand-up mother, he's not going to hold women in high regard. If a doggish man is lucky to get a good woman, he'll dog her out so bad that she'll become a part of the Angry Black Sisterhood. You'll encounter them on social media or in real life: They're trademark statements are "F a black man, black men aren't spit, this, that and the third". Sadly, the doggish men give good men a bad name because when a good man encounters a jaded woman, he has to pay for another man's sins. Not many men will tolerate a jaded woman, as he shouldn't. It's not his fault you (the woman) were dogged out. If he wasn't loyal, whose fault is it? Hers, because she had to know he was no good before she met him. A good woman cannot make a disloyal man be loyal. Before a man shoots off how women aren't loyal, he should ask himself the same question.

Pastor Jamal Bryant: These Hoes Ain't Loyal

The above mentioned statement has Pastor Jamal Bryant in hot water. I've listened to the message on The Word network and liked the overall premise. As soon as Pastor Bryant said "these hoes ain't loyal", people caught feelings. In a way I understand why because you don't expect to hear that kind of language from a pastor. Most churchgoers expect pastors to be dignified in their sermons, but sometimes you have to tell it like it is. That's what I feel Pastor Bryant did, he kept it a little too real. When you have a platform, you're free to say what you wish even if it will offend some people. If it doesn't apply, let it fly. We have too many pastors that are afraid to tell it like it is because they don't want the congregation to leave. If something (s)he says struck a nerve, it was for a reason. Truth is like medicine: Once you get past the bitter taste, it will benefit you. Every pastor has their own style, and I get that. Joel Osteen is more of the encouraging motivational preacher kind, Creflo Dollar has a teaching style of preaching, etc. There are times to keep it real, and there are times to offer encouragement & hope. When I think about it, he's telling the truth. Hoes aren't loyal, they're not supposed to be. Hoes are for EVERYBODY. Some men get upset when they see their side chick sexing another dude, but he should've remembered she was a ho. Noooooo...he wanted to hit, which he did, and now he wants exclusive rights to her. Fellas, if a woman is loose, you can't claim a ho as your own. There's a reason she's a ho, she doesn't want to be tied down to one man. The sooner some men learn this, the better off they will be.

Enough Is Enough Pt. 2

Enough Is Enough for men not taking care of business.

Enough Is Enough of women trying to be men and vice versa.

Enough Is Enough of men co-signing women just to gain their approval. Last time I checked, that's simp territory.

Enough Is Enough when men think that getting booty is a rite of passage.

Enough Is Enough for a lack of revival in America. We have hurting people, many of which are hanging by a thread. If they don't get a touch from God, they will end it all.

Enough Is Enough when children can't safely play in some neighborhoods because of random rounds of gunfire.

Enough Is Enough of this student loan crisis. How can people expect students to pay back loans when they can't find suitable employment? That's dumb.

Enough Is Enough of false reports saying the unemployment rate has fallen or remained stagnant. Anybody with the ability to dig deeper knows the actual unemployment rate among various groups is 2-3 times higher.

Enough Is Enough for employers complaining about the lack of skilled employees. You pay skilled employees according to their skillset and education, period.

Enough Is Enough for men gossiping like women. A man addresses another man face to face, not talk behind his back. I've never seen so many catty men in my life.

Enough Is Enough for millions of people being in debt. My ultimate goal is to become debt free so I can build wealth and give. This comes from being strategic in the moves I make.

Enough Is Enough when (wo)men try and crawl back into their ex's lives, because they "realize" they messed up. Why does it take losing a good (wo)man to realize you had a good thing going?

Enough Is Enough for every show being a reality show. If regular people can get rich & famous by cutting up on national TV, maybe I need to write my own reality show.

Enough Is Enough

Enough Is Enough for unemployment being 3x the national average for persons with disabilities, blacks, etc.

Enough Is Enough for bullying in schools. If parents can't control their child(ren), they don't need to be in public schools with civilized children.

Enough Is Enough for corporate greed. How much more $$$ do corporate executives need? They already make 20x more than their employees, and in some cases hundreds of times more.

Enough Is Enough for Americans going overseas to help fight hunger and poverty, when we have those same issues in the United States.

Enough Is Enough for this dark & light skin war. Last time I checked, dark and light skinned blacks have the same struggle.

Enough Is Enough for men sexting random women just because she looks good.

Enough Is Enough for some (wo)men demanding a (wo)man bring 100% when (s)he doesn't even have a fraction of what (s)he requires.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH of this child support hustle.

Enough Is Enough for churches becoming social clubs. A lot of so-called Christians won't make Heaven with that foolishness.

Enough Is Enough for black on black murders.

Enough Is Enough for teachers sexing their underage students. Can't (s)he get someone their own age?

Enough Is Enough for a lack of a cure for autism. How many people must continue to be affected by autism before something is done?

Enough Is Enough for men who claim to be providers, but their wife makes more money than him. A provider is a leader financially, spiritually, etc.

Enough Is Enough for women not knowing their role. A woman is supposed to be a helpmate to her husband, not sit on her tail and do nothing while the husband works himself to the bone.

Enough Is Enough for general foolishness. People need to have some sense already.

Enough Is Enough for storefront churches in black neighborhoods, but none of them make a bit of difference in the hood.

Enough Is Enough for black neighborhoods being warzones. Shootings & murders, police sirens at 8pm nightly. Can I get some upper-middle class black communities please?

Enough Is Enough for this employer's market. It must be nice to make prospective employees jump through several hoops to compete for a job that you already had someone else in mind for from day one.

Enough Is Enough for a $15/hr minimum wage increase. Does anyone really think there will be a nationwide $15/hr minimum wage? No, because that would make the cost of everything else go up.



Most People Are Cool With You, Until You Pose A Threat

Most people are cool with you, until you pose a threat to them. You know what I'm talking about; you chill with these folks on a regular basis, and as soon as you show ambition, they get an attitude. Some people don't want better for themselves so they want to hold you back from going after what you want. These people feel like you're going to leave them behind (that may be what you have to do, if you want something out of life. At first glance, things are going great between you two; you do small talk, have a few things in common, etc. If you're like me, you don't want to entertain the thought of having someone who pretends to be in your corner, so you nip that in the bud. If you're going to be someone's cheerleader, you have their back through thick & thin. You can't be cool with someone out of convenience, you're either down with them or you're not. Being cool with someone until you pose a threat is equal to being phony. I can't & won't respect that. You have to watch everyone around you because you never know. That's where discernment comes into play: God will always show you who's for and against you, what you do with that revelation is on you. Let you and this person have an argument, and they unload on you. The thing is, you're caught off guard because you never saw it coming. Newsflash: When someone's upset, they show their true colors. They were waiting for a reason to pop off. There's an old saying that rings true: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. You show people how to treat you by what you allow.



Can I Live With The Things I Dislike About You?

Before you get involved with someone, you should ask yourself this question: Can I live with the things I dislike about you? The answer to this question should determine how far you progress in your relationship with that person. Everybody that's in a relationship has things they dislike about their (wo)man, that's a given. Some people choose to love their (wo)man despite their shortcomings, others tolerate, and some people leave. Everyone has to do what's best for them, and I understand that. Little things like occassional sarcasm isn't so bad, but when the sarcasm is frequent and becomes hurtful, you're supposed to nip that in the bud. What you allow is what will continue. If someone's honest, they will be direct in their faults & will give you the option to stay or leave. If you stay, you're accepting the good & bad of someone. I respect people who are forthright about their shortcomings, because at some point you'll see their true colors.

How do you know what you dislike about someone unless you're in a relationship? If you're friends with someone, you're evaluating them as a potential partner. You observe them at their best and worst, and their worst tells you all you need to know. Can you love someone even if they're not being lovable back? I've said this before & I'll say it again, nobody can love unconditionally. I can see why some couples live together before marriage, because you don't really know someone like you think. You're not around them 24-7, so all you can do is go off of what they give you. When you're in tune with yourself, you develop discernment. Discernment allows you to see a person's true nature. If you have good vibes with someone, you feel a sense of calm around them. They've been honest with you about who they are from Day 1, and you respect them & vice versa. If something isn't right about a person, you get an uneasy feeling. That's your spirit telling you to exercise caution.

Some will change for the better or worse. Each person has to keep in mind they're not the person they're in love or lust with. No one's mind stays programmed the same way for long or forever.

 

I'll leave you with this: Eletha Owens Also, when you find out what you don't like about a person, you have two choices: stay or go. If you choose to stay, please keep in mind that a person is most likely to be set in their ways and aren't going to change anytime soon if at all. You can't make a person change, only that person will choose to change. That's why a lot of relationships/marriages fail.

Having Someone On Lock

Never think you have someone on lock, because there's always someone with an extra key. So many times, when we find Mr(s) Right, we lock down a union with them because we think we've found the right person. Most people know what to look for so when Mr(s) Right comes, they're able to lock it down successfully. Can you really lock someone down long-term? Yes & No. Yes: If you and the person have chemistry than I would become exclusive as quickly as possible because there's always someone waiting on the sidelines to take your spot. No, because as stated at the beginning: (S)he may not want anything serious; they could be wanting to play the field. While it's important to try and secure a long-term bond with a person, it's equally important to keep your guard up, because you don't know a person's values. Anyone can tell you anything that sounds good, and most people will eat it up like a buffet. When you have someone on "lock", they're essentially yours. In a romantic sense, when you lock someone down, they are your significant other.

One of my Facebook friends said something that made much sense: "Janea Robinson So the people who married to death, were they not sharing space and time? The divorce rate is high because people marry for the wrong reasons. It's hard to build anything on a shaky foundation." You can't build anything on a shaky foundation because the foundation can crack at any given moment. When it comes to relationships, it's best to lay the foundation as friends, and see where it goes from there. When I think about it, you are sharing space & time with another person by locking them down. You're allowing them into your world; they learn all they can about you & vice versa. Depending on the quality of the person, sharing space and time could be enjoyable or a nightmare. Not everyone is meant to share speace & time with you.

Couples that stayed married until death shared space & time; it was a matter of time before the death of one spouse. They were connected to each other, they didn't belong to each other. The following quote is from Babette Glenn: "IF married couples actually belonged to each other they would marry and stay together for the right and better reasons, not just for convenience." Looking at the divorce rate, she's telling the truth.