Situation (posted from Grown Soul & Real Talk): We've been married for over a year; we are both in our early 30's and agreed to start a family right away. I found out I was pregnant 2 months ago. My husband's attitude has completely changed. Now he's moody, he's worried about how expensive raising a child is, he hasn't touched me sexually since we found out, and he spends more time away from home. I've tried to talk to him and he says he's processing the pregnancy and coming to terms with the fact that our lives are about to change forever. I don't get it. We agreed to this before we were ever married, and even after we got married. Why the switch up? And how long do I wait out his processing?
Pregnancy is a scary time for men and women. She's going through the changes physically, so she's going to need a little more reassurance from her husband that she's still beautiful. Women start to gain weight, be a little more emotional than usual, labor pains, eating for 2, lack of sleep, etc. Women go through a lot during pregnancy. Men go through a lot during pregnancy as well: He's worrying about his child(ren)'s health; whether they will be born disabled or healthy, he's thinking of how he can provide the best life for his family, etc. Pregnancy is a scary time for both. At the same time, if they've agreed to start a family right away, what's the problem? Is he having second thoughts or does he have another woman? A lot of men would be excited their lady is birthing his child(ren). That's HIS seed inside her.
Why do some men think their lady WON'T change physically during childbirth? She's carrying a child for 9 months and that baby is going to be kicking inside her, causing her to feel a little more fatigued. She's going to feel ugly at times, and her man needs to reassure her beauty. Obviously, she doesn't feel sexy because look at how he treats her? He's never touched her sexually since the news. He's expecting her to keep that pre-pregnancy body throughout their pregnancy. I can't speak for him, but I would try to smash every chance I get, especially since she's preggo. He could be trying to come to terms with the pregnancy because he knows what's ahead. He's got a lot of responsibility ahead of him, and I'm not sure he's ready for fatherhood, otherwise he'd be a lot more supportive.
I hope he can "process" things in the middle of night when the baby starts crying. I think he'll come around & love her more than ever before. He's just trying to come to grips with the changes that are ahead.
