Aug 21, 2013

Check & Charge: By Nojma Reflects

Nojma Reflects
I will never forget a conversation I had with a Sister, that had been a single parent all her life, who stated that she would always tell her son that he wouldn't be shyt. Now he has three baby mamas, lives with her and she helps him pay his child support, but she says he's like that because his father wasn't in his life.

I was like hold up, hold up, and hold up one more time. You, his MOTHER, the woman that bore him, his FIRST teacher, told him ALL his life that he wouldn't be shyt.....it basically became a mantra that you ingrained that in his head, so you predicted what his ain't shyt future would be, groomed him for his aint shyt future....but somehow, it's his FATHER'S fault? I don't know what I found more disturbing: The way she sacrificed her child in order to discount accountability, the level of denial that she displayed, or that the fact that she really felt she was innocent!

Yes an absent parent can make an impact, I can bear witness to that, but what about the impact that the PRESENT parent makes? This example among many others that I could write about is why I do what I do. Our arrogance, gross denial, the get out of accountability aka "victim card" that we automatically dispense whenever OUR WILLFUL actions are put on display, the various shields of deflection we use....I mean it's gotta end somewhere. It has to. Too many of our babies are suffering, being molded in bitter wombs, used as pawns, too many women using their wombs for retaliation, clearly dysfunction breeds dysfunction.

I get all these pleas for balance from women, but yall don't really want balance. I've been accused of being one sided when in actuality, you don't like that I show OUR dark side of the moon. You want some balance? Ok then. Since so many want me to talk about all the ain't shyt men, then it is only BALANCED if we talk about the aint shyt wombs that produced them. If we talk about the doggish men...then it's only BALANCED if we talk about the bitches that bred them, because every dog has a mother right? If you want me to talk about Brothers not marrying women but are sleeping with them then its only BALANCED if we discuss the women that don't MAKE marriage a requirement, but give men the BENEFITS of marriage.

Now how's that for "balance"?
 
 
*All I'm going to say is this: Sister Nojma just checked these deflective women, and charged them with the crime of deflection. Checked 'em and Charged Them.

Fix Yourself Before Fixing Others

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