BUT is a powerful word in the deflector's arsenal. When (s)he is trying to explain their reasoning behind their action(s), they take the responsibility off themselves by inserting the word BUT. Here are some examples:
I was wrong for cheating on him/her, but...(s)he's never home...I got lonely, what else am I supposed to do?
I hit my (wo)man, but he shouldn't have pissed me off.
In these instance, the word but was used to deflect responsibility onto the victim, like as to say the victim is responsible for the outcome. When it comes to domestic abuse, the victim is never at fault, it's always the offender because (s)he (the offender) doesn't know how to control their anger. Domestic abuse could be a generational curse in some families, but at some point people need to ween themselves off of the word but. The word "but" negates everything said before, so I love when some people use that word, because they're showing how much of an adult they're not. Keep up the deflection, it looks good on you (sarcasm).
