Men, Stop Complaining

Every Facebook I read about men going in on women has one common denominator: Women are criticized for wanting bad boys. This is my take: I care nothing about women wanting bad boys, that's their decision. If she wants to be mistreated, who am I to stand in her way? She needs to understand that that bad boy is the one that'll leave her crying & hurt, then she'll want a good man to take away her pain. The best way to avoid hurt is NOT to subject yourself to it.  Men need to stop complaining about women who want bad boys. I know they mean well, but women are grown just like men. They want what they want, even if some women sound crazy for wanting a bad boy. Maybe these women believe they can reform him, who knows? Some bad boys are moved to change because of a good woman, others stay true to their nature; it depends on how thorough the woman is. If a man truly wants to change, he will heed his woman's help, but a bad boy must want to change.

The way I see it: A woman has the right to want a thug. In wanting a thug, she cannot expect a stand-up man to heal her hurt because she made poor choices in men. Some women are good for that: Date bad boys, and after they get hurt, all of a sudden they want a good man that'll love her no matter what hell she puts him through. That's not my business though. Men should stop complaining about women dating thuggish men. Leave them to their devices, and keep handling business like a man is supposed to. I read too many Facebook rants from men complaining about how they're a good man and why women choose thugs over them. These men need to realize that she's doing them a favor. By choosing a thug, she has disqualified herself from eligible men. As crazy as it sounds, many women want to be mistreated. They enjoy being smacked upside the head, mistreated and so on. In conclusion, men should look at it this way: By choosing a bad boy, that's a major bullet he dodged.

So keep calm, and let these women date thugs. When Big Nate goes upside her head, she gonna learn.

Public Service Announcement

For everyone who feels that privacy goes out the window just because you're in a relationship: Cut that mess out, seriously. Your smartphone or IPhone isn't off-limits just because you're involved with someone. It has nothing to do with hiding anything, it's all about privacy. Your mate doesn't need to know every nook & cranny of what you're doing. It's not possible to keep tabs on your mate 24-7 unless you're unemployed, and even then they'll still do what they want. When you reach a point where you have to go through your (wo)man's phone, it's time to end that relationship. No one has time to be checking text messages, screening calls, going through Facebook and Twitter conversations, etc. I don't have time for that. If I'm doing what I'm supposed to do to keep a smile on my woman's face, and she's still not happy, there's the door. I'm not going to play detective to figure out what's wrong with her, I'm done. A (wo)man shouldn't have to play detective just to find out if their (wo)man is cheating. If you think (s)he's cheating, most likely they are. Either they don't care if you find out, or they're covering their tracks. The point is: You can give someone 1000 reasons to smile, but some people will never be satisfied. It's best to leave those toxic people alone because all they're going to do is drag you down with them. Some relationships are doomed from the beginning, but the people stay because one or both parties feel they don't deserve better. Time out for all that Sherlock Homes investigation type stuff in relationships. If you can't trust your (wo)man, you have no business being with them. That's All For Today.

Sip & See

Sip & See must be another term for gossiping, at least that's what I gathered from a previous Preachers Of L.A. episode. The first ladies got together for sipping and seeing what's going on with who. As usual, Loretta and Bishop Jones relationship was the central topic. If you're the topic of discussion for whatever reason, that means you're popular. The irony is that the First Ladies had it out for Loretta since day 1. They have issue(s) with Bishop Jones and Loretta's relationship. Just because the other 1st ladies are married, that doesn't mean every woman desires marriage. You have some people that are better off as friends, and that's fine. Not everyone is cut out for marriage, and given the divorce rate, I see why. Loretta shut that down quick. In a roundabout way, she told the rest of those meddling hens to fall back. What she and Bishop Jones do is their business, although I will say this: When did a man and woman that's supposedly friends, start kissing? When Bishop Jones and Loretta greeted each other last night (I didn't see much of last night's Preachers of LA because I fell asleep), they smooched for a second and went on their way. Kissing is an intimate act between a committed couple. I never knew friendship between a man & woman involved kissing, but I digress. Being a Bishop is a high profile job, and everything you do is analyzed to the T: Who you're with, what you're doing, and so on. Because Bishop Jones, Ron Gibson, Wayne, Jay, Deitrick and others are in the spotlight, they travel in the same circles so the slightest situation will get around. I said all that to say this: Sip & See is just another fancy term for getting involved in someone's business.

When The Game Stands Tall

Of all the football movies I've seen, When The Game Stands Tall is by far the best one yet. It's about Bob Ladoceur, De La Salle high school football coach in New Orleans who takes his team to unprecedented heights. Under his coaching, his team went on set a record of 151 wins before losing to Long Beach Poly. Anyone who follows sports knows that it's tough to win, let alone put together a win streak. 151 wins is an amazing feat, one that has yet to be broken. What I liked about this movie is that Coach Ladoceur wasn't just a coach, he was a mentor & friend to many of those boys. For some, he was the only father figure they knew. He had those boys eat dinner with him and spend time with him off the field, and I respect that. For a coach to go out of his way to let his players into his personal life is awesome, and how can one not respect that? This wasn't just a regular football movie, the theme was about the coach trying to instill character & brotherhood in his players.

You could see the genuine love those players had for each other. Many of them were friends and grew up playing football together in childhood prior to joining De La Salle's high school football squad. The players even hung together off the field. When one person struggled, the whole team struggled. When one person won, the entire team won. You don't see that kind of bond nowadays. For the most part, people are out for self. There were some tense moments in the movie, such as Ryan's father. Ryan's father was a salesman, and all he was worried about was the streak. Every game he went to, it was streak this, streak that, streak, streak, streak. Ryan's father only cared about his son when he was winning, but when the team lost, all that changed. Ryan was the only one that had sense between him and his father, and to me that's sad. A father is wiser than his son, but sometimes it's the other way around. Ryan's father wasn't saved, but Ryan was.

Moments like Ryan's father putting pressure on Ryan to keep winning are all too common. There are parents who live their sports dreams through their child(ren). The parent sees athletic greatness in their child, so they push their child as hard as possible so they can be the best. Some children respond well to that, others don't. Sadly, some parents of athletic children love their children when they're winning. When the child's team starts losing, here comes the verbal abuse: You suck, what are you doing, get off the field, and so on. At the very end of the movie, when the team was up by 4 touchdowns, and Ryan was 1 TD away from breaking the school record, he came to his senses: He decided to spend the last few minute paying respects to his coach. The whole team, and eventually the crowd followed suit. The premise behind that tribute is that sometimes, winning isn't everything.

In conclusion, it's not about winning, but how you recover from a loss that defines you. That's the point of the movie.



Police Encounters: By Mr.EnigmaticOpinion

 

There was recently another "death by cop" of another black man in Missouri. Typical scenario played out in this case as it seemingly does in most of them. Cops get out of car aggressively barking orders, and black guy acts like they have bananas instead of guns pointed at him. Black man ends up dead. I'm personally tired of hearing about you Negros dying when most of you can avoid it. I'm out of outrage. You Negros continue to lack the ability to avoid interactions with them, or do it with intelligence so that you can walk away alive when you do. Cops don't relate to you. The fact is that typically the majority of police forces are made up of white males. White males who neither relate to black males or the communities you live in. Those same white males are sent to patrol your neighborhoods that you have turned into nightmares. Neighborhoods in which black males kill each other at the rate of 54% of all homicides in this country. Neighborhoods infested with drugs and is high in every category of crime imaginable. Neighborhoods that promotes "stop snitchin" as a way of dealing with how you victimize each other instead of promoting peace and respect for your neighbors property and personal space. This is the only thing those white cops actually do know about you.

Each time another black male is killed, the typical questions arise. Why didn't they taser him? And revelations of "they didn't have to kill him" Both points as redundant as they are moot. Yes they could have used a taser on him. No they didn't have to kill him. But they don't use tasers, and they do kill them. Let's start dealing with reality for a moment bastard nation. You keep expecting white men who don't relate to you, who are not your neighbors, to take you into consideration. When they are fully aware of how you treat your own kind. This is just another form of your welfare mentality, believing that others should feel responsible for you more than you are for yourselves. They don't and they never will.

So what do we do? The smart thing to do would be to reduce your own crime in your own neighborhoods. To make cops virtually obsolete in your black communities, while turning your own neighborhoods and homes into peaceful sanctuaries. Less crime equals less cops needed...that's how it works. No city will pay for a bunch of cops who aren't needed. Unfortunately, the black race has its Nigga class, and the Nigga class neither wants or craves peaceful domains for themselves or other black people. The Nigga class feasts on chaos, dysfunction, disrespect and anarchy. With the black race harboring, embracing and even protecting its sacred cow (the Nigga class), your communities will never have peace. Your neighborhoods will always be crime infested, so your neighborhoods will always be heavily policed. If the bastard nation refuses to create a safe haven for its own people, then I suggest you deal with cops as they are, instead of dealing with them as you think they should be. They are not using tasers, they are using guns. They could subdue you without killing you, but the fact is they are killing you. This is reality. What you think they should do means nothing. They don't exist to protect and serve you. They exist to control and contain you in your little corner of hell you call a hood, your ghettos. They don't relate to you, nor do they want to.



Preachers Of LA Tweets

I'm going to share some Preachers of LA tweets regarding Bishop Jones and Loretta's relationship. Here goes:

@TamiraDenaee: Ok, first Bishop Jones says Loretta was his friend, then his gf, his friend again, now his gf again? Which is it? #PreachersOfLA

@iamsharonyvette: @TamiraDenaee Too funny. Either way girlfriend is not a legally recognized title.  She has no power in that 'relationship'.

@Expensivejjewel: STOP inviting Loretta to events as if she is a First Lady & until she ups her standards! #PreachersOfLA

@ItsKevinBond: The body of Christ has a problem handling Confrontations .... Loretta is too truthful for most! I LOVE HER!!!  #PreachersOfLA

@dateandwait: Dear Loretta-  Bishop or not, he needs to commit or quit. #KeepItMoving #PreachersOfLA

@kLockitt7: They need to leave Bishop and Loretta alone.. they will move to their next level in their OWN time!! #PreachersOfLA

@JsonFredericks: Noel & Loretta are more private then Jay & Beyoncé! Problem is we all know the real #PreachersOfLA

@ATLREPPA: #PreachersOfLA So Loretta is still Bishop Noel Side Piece ? Lol she aint been upgraded yet?

This is the realest tweet out of all of these: @Mmoorejr: If Loretta Doesn't do a conference next spring for "Girlfriends In Waiting"...shes playin the game all wrong! LOL. #PreachersOfLA

Preachers of LA: Mind Your Business

Yesterday evening was the Season 2 premiere of Preachers of L.A. According to previews, Season 2 is going to be a lot more real. While ministering, there will be real moments. Last night's episode started off with a bang. Anyone who has followed the show since it's inception knows that Bishop Noel Jones and Loretta have been the topic of discussion. Bishop Jones and Loretta have been friends for 16 years, and supposedly they're carrying on like a married couple. Ron Gibson feels they should get married since they act like a married couple. Here's the catch: Bishop Jones has told Loretta that he has no intention of getting married, but she's looking for more. From what I've watched of Loretta on the show, she's a stand-up woman. She has her own bistro that Noel helped get off the ground, and they've been close since then. Their relationship has grown, so I think they should get married, but that's not my call.

Bishop Ron Gibson is my favorite preacher on the show, and he stays true to who he is. He's taken no shorts in his opposition towards Bishop Jones and Loretta's relationship. My question is: Why is Bishop Gibson so concerned about Loretta and Noel's relationship? While I feel Bishop Jones & Loretta should get married, what if they're not ready? Bishop Jones has been married before, and that ended in divorce so he doesn't want to make that same mistake again, which I can understand. Loretta has a decision to make: She can be content with her friendship with Noel, or she can give him an ultimatum: Marry me, or I'm gone. If a woman has shown herself worthy of a good man, and he's stalling, sometimes she has to make him commit. I think the reason why Noel and Loretta's relationship has drawn criticism from Bishop Gibson is that he thinks they're sinning by how they carry on like a married couple, even though they're not married.

I never thought I'd see Loretta go in, but even the most chill people have their limits. Nobody likes their business put on blast, and Loretta proved that last night. When Lady Lavette (Bishop Gibson's wife) called out Loretta, Loretta checked her. Loretta was like "It's none of anyone's business how Bishop Jones and I conduct ourselves. We're content with our relationship as is." She had had enough of Bishop Gibson and Lavette's meddling, and she shut it down. Next week's episode, she sets Bishop Gibson straight. I won't miss that for nothing.

 



Power In Sex

Whenever I hear of a man getting caught up in mess, the first statement he makes is "There's Power In The *&%$#" That's a cop-out because you're putting power behind a sexual organ. You're telling me that a woman's sexual organ has that much control over you? Shaking My Head. This may not be true of all men, but for some it is: Men who say there's power in the ***** have nothing going for themselves. Their main focus is chasing what's between a woman's legs, and once he gets it, he feels like he conquered the world. To me, chasing tail is the last thing on my mind. I've never valued women that much to where I put myself in crazy situations, then blame it on a sex organ. The only power in something is what you give it, otherwise that ***** that so many men spend their lives chasing, is meaningless. Women know they have what many men want, so they play on that. Only a weak man is succumbed to a woman's sexual organ.

Men who have their stuff together aren't worried about getting any sex. Why would they? They're focused on staying at the top of their game. If they meet Ms.Right, good. If not, that's fine. For a thorough man, he looks at a woman's character instead of what's between her legs. Should a woman use her vagina to hook a man, he immediately checks her because he's not moved by this so-called power in the @#$%&. These men need to ask her what does her heart do, instead of what her mouth does. I have no sympathy for any man who is exploited by a woman. The only reason why men are set up by women is because a lot of men don't have the good sense to look past a woman's sex game. All they're thinking about is how good in bed she is, instead of looking deeper. In conclusion, there is power in the ***** to a thirsty guy. Women know how to use their sex game to their advantage, and unfortunately, many men fall for it every time.

The Irony

 

It's funny how blacks have camraderie during the Ferguson situation, but that same togetherness is nowhere to be found when blacks exterminate each other daily. Where are these marches for the thousands of murdered blacks annually? I'll tell you where: Nowhere. Blacks pick and choose what to be outraged about. Take George Zimmerman: Blacks were raising all manner of hell when Zimmerman shot down Trayvon Martin (RIP to Trayvon by the way), but went back to business as usual. What are you looking at? Don't make me blast you, etc. Some blacks need to have several seats because all they're doing is embarrassing themselves. You can march for Michael Brown, but can't march for the thousands of slain blacks at the hands of other black people. It's said that a black's biggest enemy is someone who looks like him. It's not so much white folks taking blacks out, blacks are killing their own prolifically. The hypocrisy is clearly evident because once this Michael Brown situation blows over, those same blacks will go back to killing each other in the streets. Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Marcus Garvey and all the fallen black leaders are turning over in their graves; not because blacks are livid over Michael Brown's death, but because they don't have that same outrage when a black murders another black. In conclusion, until blacks can be just as outraged over black on black murders, I don't want to hear or see any blacks marching over the death of an unarmed black person at the hands of a white police officer, or someone of any other race.

Fresh On The First Day Of School

It's the 2014-15 school year, which means another year of hustle & bustle. Traffic jams, school administrators rushing to make sure they have things in order so they can start another school year right. As for the students, they reunite with their friends and talk about what they did over the summer. At the same time, a lot of schools have incoming 6-12th graders read over the summer, and then write a report on what they've read. Once they're done, they turn it in for their first grade of the school year. I don't know if this is done nationwide, but I know it's done in the State Of Florida. The premise is to keep students in the academic state of mind, which I understand. Once students get out for the summer, they tend to forget what they've learned over the school year, so you have to keep them focused. It's also a time for students to show off their new school clothes. The truth is, schools have become a fashion show for students. One student has to look better than the next, and so on.

Why do I say that school is a fashion show? It's simple. One student has the newest J's and clothes, and has to wear them on the first day to impress students that probably won't like them. That's crazy, but when you're a teenager, you're trying to fit in with your peers so in a way, I understand. Peer acceptance is everything among teens, so if that means wearing the in-style, so be it. Usually, students who are focused on their wardrobe aren't focused on their grades, and it usually shows later on in the year. While they're dressing to impress, their grades are on life support. At the end of the school year, when they're facing retention, they want to bellyache about how they can make up their work. I have no sympathy for these students because from Day 1, they should've came in ready to work. It's too late to make up a year's worth of work, so it's important that parents instill in their children that they're in school to learn, not dress to impress. Those other students (s)he is trying to impress, they're not worried about them. They probably are serious about their academics. You can dress to impress when you graduate college and get in the work world.

Encouraging Word

I felt led to post this. It's said that everyone is fighting a battle. Everyone will go through some hard times at some point. Life isn't easy. Just something to think about. Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? Did you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Did you know the three hardest things to say are I love you, I'm sorry, and Help me? Sometimes, just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their smile and see how much pain they may be in.

Women Are The Choosers

I've always felt that in relationships, women are the choosers. A man can have his stuff together, and present himself in the best possible light, but it's up to the woman whether she will proceed with getting to know him. Here is a message from a poster that I'm in a Facebook group with:

 

Maurice Theoutlaw Washington

Women are the choosers...if this were not true then men would be able to choose who they want to be with (first dibbs on Halle). If you are a man, and think you can have any woman you want, go and try...either you are a scumbag because you should have chosen a great wife a long time ago...or you are not the chooser.

All a man can do is make a presentation to a woman and hope that she grants him access.

Men approach women on a daily basis, and the woman makes a CHOICE on if she will entertain the man or not. Men may CHOOSE to PURSUE the woman, but the CHOICE is ULTIMATELY UP TO THE WOMEN.

MEN CANNOT HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN UNLESS SHE CHOOSES TO. OR IT IS RAPE

There are times when men may have a choice between several women (usually bottom feeders & fatty-patties). THE WOMEN HAVE ALREADY CHOSEN HIM...even if he decides to court one of them. It's still up to the woman on if she will grant him intercourse.

Sorry to the men who thought they were macks; she made the decision on whether or not she was going to deal with you a long time ago...all you had to do is not mess it up.

To the ladies who CHOOSE to NOT accept this responsibility, it is highly visible that the quality of your life is due to your inability to understand this fundamental concept or common sense. Every time you complain about a no good man, sperm donor, or a lying cheating man...remember you were attracted to them, you were sold by their presentation, and chose to sleep with them unprotected.
It is a reflection of your character; whether you CHOOSE to accept responsibility or not... THIS is the responsibility and POWER you hold in our culture. The ability to choose great men to support, and build strong families that lead to productive communities.

Instead you CHOOSE procreate with the worst of us, thus destroying our culture and set in motion a spiraling decline in cyclical ignorance.



Strawberry Letter- Can He Be Faithful After Ten Years Of Cheating? | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

Strawberry Letter- Can He Be Faithful After Ten Years Of Cheating? | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

 

Let me get this straight: He's been cheating on her for 10 years, and she's confused about whether she should fight for her family? Common sense should tell her her man had no respect for her when he cheated the first time. He's been messing around on her for 10 years. After the first offense, he should've been out the door. Who cares if they have children together? It's far better for children to be raised in a stable, single parent home than be raised around infidelity. I feel for the children because they may have a negative view of relationships because of one parent's infidelity. If you're not happy in a relationship, either leave or try to work it out. I'd try to work it out only if she's willing. If not, then I'm gone because I will not fight if she's not willing to get in the ring with me. She knows what to do, she's just trying to play dumb. This letter is another reminder that most people do not respect their relationship, and that you really don't know your mate like you think.

She can't be THAT naive about her man's infidelity. She must have (or should've) known about her man's indiscretions. She probably knows, but refuses to believe that her man could cheat on her. Some women hang on their man's every word, and they should if he's thorough. Anytime a person cheats on their (wo)man, respect has left the building. (S)he may forgive, but she won't forget. There's no way he respects her, because if he did, he wouldn't be messing with another woman. I feel sorry for her, because she really has low self-esteem to even want to stay with his cheating butt. A thorough woman would've left him on the spot. I know they've been through the ringer, but how much cheating can one person expect to take? Seriously. Cheating happens once, (s)he forgives. Few months later, (s)he cheats again, and the hurt person forgives. The answer is obvious: She should leave this clown, and not look back. Forget about all the good times, just go. The good times left when he was cheating for 10 years.

 

 

Strawberry Letter- A Chance To Share My Ideas | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

Strawberry Letter- A Chance To Share My Ideas | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

 

Everyone has been where she's at right now. God has given them a creative vision that will make a difference in today's world. They have the passion & hustle behind their idea, but they're stuck. As this lady stated: She doesn't have the connections to bring her ideas to pass, but I take authority over that right now. The Bible says write the vision and make it plain. Once you write the vision, speak that vision into existence. Continue speaking that dream into reality and God will bring it to pass at the right time. He's already got the right people lined up for her, she doesn't know it yet. God will never give you a vision without provision. She just needs to be patient, and thank God for bringing her passion into reality. It's gonna happen at the right time, and when it does, she's gonna dance all night at God's goodness. What most people don't realize is that God gives people ideas, then they go through a desert period. They feel like their idea(s) won't happen because of a dry spell, but that's God molding them so they can be ready for the breakthrough. With vision, comes maturity. If your maturity isn't right, neither will your vision. She's going through a desert period, and at the end she says: This is God's way of telling me to stop trying to be somebody. I remember an old song from the Miami Mass Choir that went like this: What God has for me, is for me. That song lyric makes perfect sense for her: What God has for her, is for her. She just has to be patient, and keep the faith.

Chucking Responsibility

 

At first glance, this photo seems like another (wo)man bashing session. If you look deeper, there's a lot that can be gained from this photo. It's more about playing your position. Men & Women have their responsibilities, and whenever one tries to play another's position, you have a problem. The woman is saying that she's beneath cooking & cleaning, and the man is saying he refuses to hustle like a slave so his woman can reap the benefits of his toil. I will admit that no one wants to be taken for granted, which is why it's important to choose a mate that doesn't have an entitled mindset; (s)he does all the giving, while the other does the taking. Here's a few comments from my thread: 

Katina Person: Ok, so the woman's role is cooking and cleaning? I thought it was that of a help mate? Being a help mate would involve cooking and cleaning if need be. One is subscribing to gender roles and the other is chucking responsibility. This should have been thought out a little more IMHO"

My Response: Traditionally, men are the providers & protectors, whereas women held it down in the home. As time passed, both men and women started getting stuff twisted.

People don't understand the term helpmate. Both parties help each other. Today's mindset is where one person is expected to do this, this and that while the other reaps the benefits. No wonder (wo)men don't want a relationship because both (wo)men come with the expectation that they will be taken advantage of. To avoid that, it's best to not get involved with a taker.

In conclusion, when men & women understand their roles as helpmate, it cuts down on confusion & you have a power couple. The man helps his woman if she's off track & vice versa.

Strawberry Letter- Married Men and Single Women | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

Strawberry Letter- Married Men and Single Women | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

 

These women irk me sometimes. They write Steve Harvey with these letters claiming not to know what to do. This woman is having a dilemma of whether she would partake in destroying a marriage. The husband isn't feeling his wife, so he confides in her. Single women have a way of slithering their way into married men's lives. As a married man, you never vent to a single woman about how unhappy you are in your marriage. That's giving her the green light to be there for him in a way that will piss off his wife. My thing is, if you're not happy in your marriage, discuss the matter with your spouse and if both parties can't come to some agreement, divorce is a good look. Nobody should be forced to endure unhappiness in marriage, that's stupid. Contrary to what many people believe, marriage can be happily ever after if you choose the right person. You two are so in sync that you won't let minor disagreements turn into major ones.

If they're smart, most married cheating men aren't going to let the other woman know of their marital status. For one, the other woman could be friends with his wife, and Lord knows news travels fast among women. There's nothing worse than a married man cheating with another woman, only to find out she reports back to his wife of their actions. The wife is pissed because she's given him her all, and he betrays her like this. She's going to do serious damage to him, and her. This strawberry letter confirms my belief that most marrieds have no respect for their marriage. Either one or both spouses are cheating, but come home to each other like nothing's wrong. If you're going to get married, GET MARRIED. If you want to creep around, marriage isn't for you. You agree to spend your life with one person. You may not like their changes, but you knew what you were getting into when you married them. I have to wonder: Is she doing her part by giving him a reason to want to come home? Believe it or not, if a spouse dreads coming home, something's wrong.

In The Real World

1. In The Real World: Kids are forced to grow up before their time. From having to take care of younger siblings to in some cases, having to work to help take care of their family, I see why some kids are so independent.

2. In The Real World: Public schools are nothing more than cesspools of foolishness (even though I'm a product of the public school system). Fighting to bullying, all children deserve a safe environment in which they can thrive.

3. In The Real World: So many people are losing their jobs through no fault of their own. Technology is replacing many positions that were traditionally performed by humans.

4. In The Real World: Marriage doesn't carry the same weight it used to. People look at marriage like business; how can THEY benefit as opposed to how they can enrich each other's lives.

5. In The Real World: More children are being born with disabilities. It's almost not worth it to have children because you don't know how they're going to turn out. Depending on the severity of the condition, some children need 24-hour care.

6. In The Real World: Everybody and their mama has a reality show. Maybe I should get one. I get paid millions to show my behind on national TV, and maybe get some endorsements out of it.

7. In The Real World: Many times, stuff happens that's out of our control.

 

As you can see, the real world is what it is: The Real World. It's good to hope for better days, but because we live in a fallen world, bad things happen to good people. I don't like it anymore than someone else, but *shrug*.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Don't Ask, Don't Tell is a military policy that's been around for decades. The premise is for homosexuals to keep their orientation silent. That statement can also apply to all facets of life, especially relationships. You meet someone for the first time, and conversation is flowing. If you're smart, you don't reveal too much on the first date, even if the person is understanding. People can tell you anything to put you at ease, and once you feel comfortable with them, they start to show their true colors. Sadly, you can open up to some people and they use your information against you. My definition of Don't Ask, Don't Tell is simple: Don't ask if you're not ready for the answer. It serves two purposes: 1. It saves the recipient from getting offended, and 2. Prevents you from possibly having your information used against you. Not everyone can be trusted with privileged information, so it's important to enact measures to protect yourself, and others. Let me list a few examples:

1. A couple is going through rough times in their marriage, when one spouse reveals the source of their frustration, which stems from childhood. The receiving spouse isn't ready, even though they want transparency. The lesson: Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

2. Some information can catch you so off guard that you weren't ready for it. Simple resolution: You better be ready for the response. If not, you shouldn't have asked.



Cross Country Cookie

Cross Country & The Cookie

Dear Steve and Shirley: First, congratulations Shirley on your engagement. This letter is directed towards Steve because of his comedy days. Now, I have read both Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man, and Straight Talk No Chasers. I am following the rules setting standards and everything is going well. There is one hiccup: How does the 90 days work when we can only see each other every 60 to 90 days.

The person I'm interested in is a long haul truck driver. We live on the east coast, but his job takes him from Texas to California and New York and all the states in between. Now we have had the luxury of meeting each other 24 years ago in high school, but we were not friends. Recently, we held our class reunion. I made the first move the day after by inboxing him on Facebook. We have become fast friends. We do feel very connected.

He is not taking his week off until homecoming when our class is having another get together. This get together put us at 90 days. So how can I know that he is worthy of the cookie since our first real date will not happen until 90 days later? Often, he says to me that we have to be transparent with one another. We are both approaching this relationship differently. He asked me first about marriage. He wanted to know if I wanted marriage again. He says he wants a wife. I am ready to experience a meaningful relationship that leads to marriage.

So Steve, Shirley, Carla, Junior, not Nephew Tommy, maybe Eugene, or Oatmeal please advise me on how to approach this relationship. When will it be acceptable to give him the cookie?

A little back ground information: He is restarting his own trucking company, and has just ordered 2 new trucks. I am taking a year off from law school, while working on my Master's of library science and getting my oldest out of high school. His business is very demanding and law school can be overwhelming for a much younger student. I am a 38-year-old single mother of 2.

Do I give or keep my Cookie?

My Response: She needs to get to know him first! Don’t focus on giving away the cookie. People say a lot of things, but slow down and see if he puts those things in action. If he wants a wife, let him date you and he will wait on you. Also, this may not be a good time for a relationship for both of them. The time is not there! Keep the cookie!!! A cookie is an edible snack one can buy or files in a computer hard drive. She needs to stop focusing on being a freak in 90 days. She shouldn't let a male stranger (whose job is to make fun of your situation) govern her womanhood. It's no secret that women court for marriage purposes. They're looking to build a life with Mr. Right, and all a man has to do is tell her he wants marriage, and boom, he's got her right where he wants. Never mind that he could be playing with her emotions. Saying he wants marriage doesn't necessarily include her. He could tell her anything, and sensing her desperate mindset, she'll fall for the okie doke.
She read the books and I assume she listens to the program too. I don’t know how many times Steve has told these women; the 90 days isn’t actual rubric. It is a guide to help women STOP giving fools the cookie they aren’t entitled to. It isn’t for HIM, it’s for HER. When is the right time to give him the cookie?   Let’s see: Marriage.  She is hard pressed to get some, it’s unreal. CLEARLY the two kids father(s) wasn’t the one and she STILL hasn't learned squat. She needs her money back on undergrad and law classes.  The trucker's only in it for the ride (no pun intended) After all, she DID hit him first.

 

This Is A Challenge

All over social media, teens are coming up with all kinds of idiotic challenges. Fire challenge, hyperventilation challenge, etc. The fire challenge is where someone oils themselves up and lights themselves on fire. Just yesterday, someone died from that challenge. While I'm saddened by his death, common sense should've told him that you will get burned by playing with fire. Some people should've learned when they were younger not to play with fire. Then you have the hyperventilation challenge, where you hold your breath for as long as possible and someone presses on your chest until you pass out. The first thing that comes to mind is boredom. When you have too much time on your hands, you're gonna pass the time anyway you can. The problem is when your choice of hobbies endangers yourself and others. Since there's all these crazy challenges floating around, I have a few challenges of my own.

This is a good challenge for Chicago: How long can the city go without one shooting or murder? Even though it's not possible, that would be a good challenge. Here's a better challenge: Black parents need to stop publicizing whipping their children like government mules on WorldStar. If you go on WorldStar right now and look for Bad Kids of the day, week, or month, you'll find lots of audio footage of kids cursing, parents beating them like they stole something, etc. That's never been cute, so why do it? What about this challenge: Stop posting footage of kids using profanity. I'm not a prude, but a little 3-4 year old kid cussing like a grown-up is embarrassing. The parents who taught them how to talk filthy should have charges pressed on them. When I watch footage of a foul-mouthed child, I think to myself: It won't be long until (s)he is cussing the parent(s) out, if not already. What the world calls acceptable, God calls abominable. In conclusion, the participants of these challenges need to get some business.

Strawberry Letter- Crazy In Love | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

Strawberry Letter- Crazy In Love | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

 

What's the confusion? Either she loves her husband or she doesn't. From what she says, she's not in love with her husband, nor was she ever. She's leading him on because she doesn't want to hurt him, but you can't force feelings for a person if they're not there. I think she should just tell the truth, and let the chips fall where they may. He may be hurt at the revelation, but he'll respect her honesty. She's not the only one who isn't feeling her husband, because he's still in love with his ex-wife. Basically, they married each other on the rebound. Both were hurting from previous relationships, and by getting involved with each other, they could help each other through the pain. The problem with that is if you marry someone on the rebound, you don't allow yourself the proper healing timeframe. You carry old baggage into a new relationship, and the (wo)man may not be as patient. I'm thinking this wife is working on getting alimony once she can prove infidelity, and whoop this woman's behind.

Who marries someone out of pity? I agree she should marry her friend, but she must be more than friends, and it sounds like her feelings never evolved past friendship. If she's unhappy in her relationship, don’t string him along, just leave. Then she mentioned she would never cut him off sexually because she's not that kind of woman, but she's sleeping with a married man? Okay, that makes sense. Get a divorce and move on. If he was serious about her, he would've married her. Both of them have been messing around on each other, so they both need to figure out what they want to do. Both of them are side pieces to someone else, then have the nerve to come together like they've been married all along. His wife is probably trash, just saying. I would've had more pity for the husband, if the letter didn't reveal that he was still in love with his high school sweetheart. Poor little tink tink.