Submission, Sex & Silence Pt. 2

In my last entry, I discussed Submission, Sex & Silence as being the 3 keys to a successful relationship. This is Pt. 2 on this subject. Khrystle Nichole gave some very good responses, so I'm going to post them here.

 

Khrystle Nichole

I think men and women have taken the term "submissive" out of context. You don't have to be argumentative. Men, nor women should be combative. It's called having a conversation, which people have a hard time doing. No man or woman is always correct, and it's really about knowing how to choose your battles, men and women alike.

Submission is mutual, which is what most men forget. It's easy for a man to scream submission to his lady, but there will come a time where he has to submit to her, and then what? Some men will never tell you that side of submission. Choose your battles, is it that serious? It takes a lot for submission to happen because you're entrusting yourself to another person's care, with no guarantee they will look out for your best interest.

Oh, and as far as the sex goes, why is the woman always the blame for a lackluster sex life? Trust me, there are a lot of men out here who REALLY don't know the art of great sex!!!

It's not all about her riding him like a surfboard. You can't go surfing if there aren't any waves.

There is truth to this. The men preaching about sex, are some of the same ones who don't know what they're doing. When your relationship is right, everything.....submission, sex and silence falls into place!



Submission, Sex & Silence

All committed relationships boil down to the three S's: Submission, Sex, and Silence. Most men use the three S's as a way of screening their potential lady. Let me break down each of the 3 S's:

 

1. Submission-It's no secret that men want a submissive woman. No man in his right mind would want a hellcat who challenges him at every turn. Most women have this warped mind that being combative is a sign of strength, when it's not. A combative woman will NEVER be endearing to a man because that tells him she doesn't trust his judgment. Also, submission is seen by women as being a doormat. Submission is a beautiful thing, provided the woman submits to a worthy man. If he's thorough, why would she have a problem submitting? Submission puts a woman in position to get whatever she wants from her man.

 

2. Sex-For most men, they want their lady to be a freak in the sheets. She must be able to back it up, and ride him like a surfboard. Lack of sex is probably the main cause of infidelity in relationships. If (s)he's not getting it from their mate, (s)he will look elsewhere. Couples have to do whatever it takes to keep those flames going.

 

3. Silence-Know when to speak up, and know when to remain silent. No man wants a mouthy woman because most men equate mouthy women with combativeness. If you're always flapping your gums, you don't know how to keep quiet. In a court of law, there's a saying that rings true: You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can & will be used against you. Men can be just as mouthy as women, which for me isn't a good look. When men speak, it's succinct. When women speak, they go on and on.

Woman Of My Dreams? NOT.

Strawberry Letter: My wife and I have been married for several years, and we've been together since our teens. My wife is everything ANY man could want! Beautiful, smart, caring, ambitious. You name it, she's got it!!! Here's the proof: The day our 1st child turned six months old, I went to Iraq. While I was gone, she managed to raise our child alone, graduate HS early, work, AND go to college. She sent me care packages when I needed them most, AND I never missed any of my rare chances at a phone call!!! Even though she went through hell to graduate college, she was by my side from duty station to station. While she was in medical school, I got orders to another base. If we went, she would've had to quit school. I don't think so, so I got out of the military. She graduated a year later. I was blessed with a great paying job, so we moved back home. Soon after, she started her career. Now, we finally have a stable home. Like I said, everything ANY man could want. She's the woman of my dreams...but, she's not. I've prayed about it & did counseling, too. I'm not sure when, but I stopped being in love with her. Don't get me wrong, I'd give my life for her (as mad as I'd be about it). It's not fair to her that she's giving me everything, but I can't do the same. I want a divorce, but she doesn't deserve to have her heart broken either. What do I do?

 

My View: Let me get this straight; this man has a good woman who gives him everything, and he wants a divorce? I would expect this behavior from women, but a man pulling this? He should be ashamed of himself. Most men would kill for a woman like this. As I think about this, somewhere along the line he fell out of love with her. It's normal for couples to go through dry spells; they fall out of love with each other and then rekindle their flame. Before he divorces this woman, maybe he should try to remember when they first met. What attracted him to her? She's beautiful, smart, caring and ambitious. Those traits would make EVERY woman endearing to a man. Unlike a lot of (wo)men, I'm not going to assume he's gay because that's crazy. Just because a man has this uneasy feeling doesn't make him gay, so people need to cut that mess out. My heart goes out to this woman because I don't think he told her what's on his mind.

He mentioned being in the military, so that could be a reason why he's feeling this way. When you're in the military, you're gone for months or up to years at a time, so you lose valuable time with your (wo)man. The absence takes its toll on the relationship that the spouse becomes indifferent to their presence. While he was away, she's accomplished a lot in his absence and upon his return, it's like he doesn't recognize her anymore. She's been taking care of business in his absence, so she's gotten used to not having him around. Sometimes, people are in our lives to save us from ourselves, so I think he should pray about it before he makes a move. He's risking divorce in pursuit of something he's unsure of. Contrary to popular belief, life is not a gamble, it's a sure thing if you play your cards right. I have one question though: Could there be someone else?

He's looking for another opportunity elsewhere and wants complete freedom to pursue it. Otherwise, he has no reason to leave. He goes to great lengths to explain how she's a wonderful woman. A man doesn't leave a happy home unless he's looking at greener grass in the neighbor's yard that's distracting him from appreciating his own grass.



Dahlia Speaks (How To Be A Woman)

I was cruising the How To Be A Woman page, and came onto this post. I have no problem with tattoos, as long as they're done tastefully. When you're tatted up, that does look crazy. I know it's one's body, but some things you shouldn't go overboard with. I'm leery of tattoos in general because I've read reports where people contracted HIV & AIDS from infected needles. Yeah, that was enough to turn me off from tattoos. Read Dahlia's words of wisdom regarding tattoos:

 

Tattoos *repost*

There's nothing wrong with tattoos, for the most part. The body is one of the greatest canvases. However, it is wise to do proper research and choose wisely when getting a tattoo.
Ladies, an abundance of tattoos splattered all over your body may project something negative. If you have Pookie, Man Man and Lil Grill's names tattooed on your body with a plethora of other ratchet tattoos, it makes you look trashy. If you have Tinkerbell on a flaming $100 bill next to the name of your street or the word "Bitch" tattooed on yourself, that looks trashy. If you're going to get a tattoo, be mindful of what you're getting and where you're putting it.
What you put on yourself says a lot about you. If you put trashy and outrageous tattoos on yourself, you will be viewed as, and may be treated as such. Ladies don't put on garbage and expect to smell like roses, so don't put garbage tattoos on yourself. If you choose to decorate your canvas with tattoos, go for it, but always do it tastefully. Stay classy ladies.
 ~Dahlia

 

 



ID Channel

Shout out to Khrystle Nichole for this status: If you're thinking about getting married, or want to stay married, don't watch the ID Channel. Who would want to ever get married after watching shows like "Wives with Knives", "How Not to Kill Your Husband", and "Who the Bleep Did I Marry?" And if you're single, there is a show for you too...."Stalked:Someone's Watching".

 

The above status came straight from a friend's Facebook. There is humor in this, but much truth. Those shows are good to watch because you don't know your mate like you think. Anybody can put on a good show to attract you, but when you spend enough time with them, that's when they show their real selves. The common theme in all these shows is the couples didn't do their homework on each other. They were in lust, not in love. The easy part is falling in love with a person: The constant I love you texts, calls, the smoochie-smoochie action, etc turns into I hate you, I can't stand you, I want a divorce, etc. Why do people think that relationships are supposed to be rose petals? In a perfect world, that would be ideal, but because we live in a fallen world, the reality is that divorce, infidelity, and shows like Wives With Knives exist.

If you get to the point where you second guess your relationship, it's time to exit stage left. Life is too short to waste on the wrong person. You have people who WANT a loving relationship, but can't find one through no fault of their own. I heard a saying that rings so true: The wrong people end up together, and the right people have a hard time finding each other. Let's discuss Who The @#$% Did I Marry? The show title alone rings a bell because all couples have wondered this at times. The first argument that ensues, one or both parties scream "Who Did I Marry? Depending on how bad the argument, the aftereffects could leave a devastating impression on the marriage, and could lead to divorce. It's important to keep calm and relax before a spouse says something they may regret. Once the damage is done, in most cases it can never be repaired.

I've never watched any of those shows because I don't know what times they come on, but I will make sure to catch them, because knowledge can come from everywhere, even from negativity. As far as being single is concerned, I don't doubt the stalker issue one bit. Some people see what they want, and will stop at nothing to get their mate. The problem arises, does the person want to be pursued? I wouldn't mind being stalked by an attractive woman, but she must have a sound mind and good character. Nothing worse than being stalked by someone you have no interest in.

Honor Your Father & Mother

If you're familiar with the Bible, you know that Ephesians Chapter 6 tells children to honor their parents so they will live long and well. How does an adult child honor a father who allowed them to get sexually violated by a relative when she was young? Fathers are admonished to be providers & protectors of their families. Being a protector means shielding your child(ren) from all (un)seen dangers. I was watching Iyanla Fix My Life when the Pace sisters were featured. One of the sisters revealed she was violated at a young age, and she held onto that secret well into her adulthood. As I got into the show, she mentioned that although her father was flawed (as all people are), she still respected him because that's what she was taught by the Bible.
That was big of her to continue respecting her father even though he knew who violated her daughter and did nothing. Maybe she didn't tell because he wouldn't believe her, maybe she didn't want to cause a family split, who knows? Not too many adult children would have respect for their parents if they failed to protect them while they were little. Whether that's right or wrong is left to interpretation. Because of a fallen world, this monstrosity happens. It's not right, but it's the truth. I will never understand how parents can fail to protect their children from the predators of society. Once the child gets grown and able, (s)he can protect themselves.
The toughest thing to do is to find it in your heart to respect your parents, even if they allowed unfair things to happen to you on their watch. If you're a Christian, you're supposed to do this even if it it hurts: Do I honor my parents? Of course I do. If I was violated as a child, and my parents knew who did it, but did nothing..I couldn't look at them in the same way. I'd respect them, but it would be tough to be close to people that were entrusted to protect me and they let me down.

DAD WHIPS 13 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FOR NOT COMING HOME FOR 3 DAYS.!!

 

I think the father was more upset at his daughter dressing like a ho than being gone for 3 days, although I'm sure that played a factor. If a teen daughter goes missing for 3 days and returns looking like a ho, there were problems in the home and with the parenting long before she pulled a disappearing act. He wanted a reason to let loose on his daughter. Some people are saying he went too far, others are supportive of the daughter's slave beating.

 

Three Points:
1.The daughter should've thought about the repercussions before she acted like a floozy. Like Kevin Hart says: She gonna learn today. She won't do that Ho behavior no more.

2. The father took it waaaay too far. You don't drag your daughter and beat them like a slave. Now, she's gonna be scared of her dad (not good) for life. Her view of men will be tainted by this very memory.

3. Girls are fast nowadays, so any ho behavior they think about engaging in, you have to drive it out of them before they end up in a Luke (Miami hip hop legend) video. Obviously, her home life sucks that she had to run off for 3 days. Couldn't be my daughter.