Balancing Work & Family

At times, it's impossible to balance family and work due to conflicting demands. Either your family will demand more of your time or your job will; you cannot have it both ways. One is bound to suffer. If you put your family first, your job will suffer and vice versa. The key is finding a supportive spouse that understands your rationale for putting in extra hours on the job so you can make sure they're straight. A man's job is to provide for his family and part of provision means you have to take advantage of overtime opportunities or extra income opportunities. After all, he's doing it for the family. Women need to stop running guilt trips on their man because if the money wasn't coming in, she would be upset about that but when the money coming in, she doesn't say anything (by right she shouldn't). At least he has a job because most men don't work. If a man works too much, his woman gets pissed and wants him home more; If he's not making enough, she wants him to step his finance game up. Damned if you do and don't with some women. Did it ever occur to some women that the reason why their man may spend more time at work than with her is because she NAGS too much? *Crickets* No man wants to come home to a motormouth. I said all that to say this: You can't always balance work & family because one is bound to suffer. I got the idea from Sweetie Pie's (a show that comes on at 9pm Saturdays on OWN). Tim and Jenae are supposed to get married, but that's on hiatus due to Tim's busy schedule. Jenae gets pissed because she feels Tim doesn't have his priorities straight.

Arguments Are Counterproductive

 Arguments are counterproductive to a relationship. The reason being is that both sides are trying to prove their case instead of coming to a mutual agreement or at best, agreeing to disagreeing. When you have a man and woman who stands their ground, you're bound to have conflict because neither side wants to admit being wrong because in their eyes, it's weakness. The best remedy is to get someone who is borderline agreeable but has their own mind. They don't have to co-sign everything you say and do but they should understand that you two can have tough conversations without screaming & cussing. When a woman doesn't get her way in a relationship, she gets to acting like a spoiled brat: Throwing verbal tantrums (including but not limited to screaming & cussing, low blows, deflection, belligerence, etc.) and silent treatment. Most men aren't phased by their woman giving them the silent treatment because to him, he doesn't have to hear her mouth and the less he has to hear her whine, the better. Where are the women who DON'T like to argue? There must be a woman that's mature enough to discuss issues in a rational manner. If you have to "argue" in order to have a healthy relationship, that's sad and those women will not receive consideration from me. These women want to be right and refuse to bend, but expect the man to do all the giving & taking. Ladies, a man's word is FINAL. Everything isn't always up for debate. Women are used to dealing in emotions, men are not. Most men will avoid confrontation at all costs; many men will confront when necessary.

Looking Deeper

A woman's heart should be so deep in God, a man seeks HIM to find her. That would be true if she was worth the pursuit but in today's climate, most women aren't wifeable so there's no incentive for men to give chase. Even if she was worthy, many men don't have the patience because some women make men move heaven & earth to prove himself worthy to her. Here's the problem as I see it: Women who use the aforementioned statement are trying to portray themselves as a great catch when they know deep down, they aren't. Everyone wants to portray themselves in the best possible light so people can look favorably upon us. That may work for a while but eventually the truth will come out and when it does, you're looking crazy and those so-called "fans" you had will start disintegrating. If you're going to quote, at least be able to back up what you quote. If a woman says her heart is so deep in God, a man must seek him to find her, then she better portray herself as a Godly woman.

Giving The Benefits=No Commitment

We've all heard the phrase "Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?" It means if you're giving it up to someone with no commitment, you can't expect marriage from them. Sad to say, but it's the truth. If someone's giving you husband/wife benefits, why would you want to marry them? If you're like some people, there's no incentive because they're already giving you the benefit without a commitment. Some women don't know their worth so they feel in order to keep a man, they have to give it up. That may work on some men but not stand-up guys like myself and other likeminded men. I like to earn the benefits, not have them handed to me because there's no honor in that. Knowing I earned something makes me appreciate it more because of the work it took for me to achieve it. If a woman is willing to give it up to me without requiring a commitment, I have to pass on her because that tells me she doesn't value herself and is probably willing to give it up for free to other men. Men are just as guilty of this because you have some men who are so thirsty that they'll bonk any woman with a hole. You have women who apply the same logic to men; if he's giving it up to her for free and she doesn't want to commit, why should/would she? She's benefiting without a commitment. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? If you want the milk, you have to buy the cow. You can't have one without the other.

Shortage Of Good Black Women: A Brother's Perspective

Black women complain about a shortage of good black men? Well, after reading this letter there's more of a shortage of quality black women as evidenced in this letter. Here's the letter I cut & pasted from a mutual Facebook friend's wall: 

Shortage. Remember that word guys, shortage? As in inadequate, sorry, gay, criminal and unworthy. Black women have been whining about a shortage for almost 20 years now. They have pretty much complained about some of us, and insulted the rest of us, and they have done it with little to no remorse what-so-ever. I'm going to take this time to express the shortage that I and men like myself have to experience when considering black women as mates. I'm not talking to Thugs, those worthless pieces of filth are lucky anyone is dumb enough to give them the time of day. No, I'm talking about serious, strong, responsible hard working black men, who expect the best in women they choose to date. I'm going to take this post to express the "shortage" in marriageable black women that us black men experience.

Children. It is a fact that well over 70% of single black women have children out of wedlock, on average 2 children by 2 different men. In other words, starting your own family from scratch with a black woman, is about as hard as finding a needle in a hay stack. Believe it or not ladies, not all black men are cool with raising other mens' children, especially 2 or more.

Prison. Black women are the fastest growing prison demographic. Not black men, black women. It is a stat that white male dominated media chooses to keep their own little secret. Men like myself don't want convicts and criminal women for mates anymore than you do ladies.

Education. For every educated black woman there's a ton of illiterate hood rats. Should I pursue these tired hood rat women who no doubt exhibit every quality that makes it a shortage of black women in the first place? Should I convince myself that I have some chemistry with them, chemistry that I know I don't have with hood rats? I don't think so, it's a colossal waste of time for me and other black men with standards.

Weight. Yeah, I know this is a sore subject for black women, but it is a real issue. The fact that 80% of black women are either overweight or obese is alarming if you are considering them for dating and marriage. True, weight is a problem for many people, but black women are the only group with 80% of its population being overweight and obese. No matter what these black magazines that are geared toward black women's mentality may tell you, men are visual creatures, and most of us would not choose an overweight female over a woman that takes care of her body, no more than most black women would choose a broke black guy over one with money. Real talk ladies, 80% is just ridiculous, and to believe men (black, white, red, or yellow) who work hard enough to be able to pick and chose women would ignore healthy in shape women and pursue "big girls" instead, is just unrealistic and lazy.

There it is, if your a black woman, and this pisses you off, SO WHAT! Black men have had our collective faults publicly put on blast by black women for decades now.

Using Your Assets

Women complain that men objectify them; well when you have your T&A out for the world to see, what you expect? Men respect women who respect themselves, period. If a woman portrays herself as a floozy, men will treat her as such. So, if a woman wants to be regarded in high esteem, she needs to conduct herself as such. The reason why women use their booty to catch men is because MEN fall for it. Some men act like they've never seen booty before so that's why they go hog wild over a chick with an ample posterior. I'm not excusing the ladies because they should have enough self-worth to know they don't have to show their butt in order to get a man. Until men learn how to look deeper in getting to know a woman and ladies tighten up on their self-worth, this mess will always be an issue. Men and Women are at fault here because women wouldn't feel a need to dress provocatively if men didn't howl and whistle like horndogs. If you're a man and you ooga booga, catcall or do whatever childish thing men do when they see an attractive woman, you've never seen attractive women before so you react in a juvenile manner. I expect catcalling from 16-year old boys not GROWN MEN. Same applies to the ladies; see a tall, buff man and they lose their minds. There are better ways to find what you're looking for and dressing like a hoochie isn't one of them. If by chance, a loose woman does attract a good man, he's probably going to play up to her to get sex, then leave her. That's the oldest trick in the book; men have been using that strategy for ages and it has yet to fail. Tell her what she wants to hear so she can give up the poontang pie and bam, he's probably long gone. I said all that to say this: Showing up with the booty....DOESNT MAKE U WIFABLE...LADIES...PLEASE LEARN THIS!!!!

**GOT CHARACTER???**

Why Have A President?

Do most people realize that the approval rating for Congress generally ranges from only 10-20%??

I want to make a formal apology to George W. Bush. NOT because I support him -- never that! But I truly realize now that he couldn't screw up the country without the help of the Congress. NO PRESIDENT - INCLUDING BUSH - has enough power to fix, screw up, or approve much in this country BY THEMSELVES. It's not a One-Man Show folks!! Bush was being used as a puppet by folks like Karl Rove and Dick Cheney. Although probably a good man (which I hadn't always believed), Bush was just one man who surrendered his backbone to special interests. And America's prosperity was sacrificed in the end because of that. He didn't mess up alone, is my point. So ALL of the blame cannot go on him. ALL of the blame cannot NOW go onto President Obama either. The republicans in Congress vowed to make this man a "one-term President" before he even spent ONE DAY in office and vowed to say "Hell No" to pretty much EVERYTHING he wanted to do no matter how good it might be for our Nation. Putting your Politics before your People is the biggest reason why this country is going backwards, is broke, and is bitterly divided. Congress is absolutely horrible. Useless. No matter the party! And again, I sincerely hope that BOTH SIDES are going to work to actually FIX things this time. Or we are doomed. What's the point of electing a president if the PRESIDENT doesn't really have any power? I mean, Congress is calling the shots telling him what & what not to do so when you think about it, there's no need for a President of the US.