Timeshare: How To Be A Woman

Today's topic comes from How To Be A Woman's Lotus (she's also a friend of mine). She admonishes ladies to stop treating their palace like a timeshare. Read on:

 

How to Be a Woman

Ladies, Are you treating your vagina like a "timeshare?" Allow me to break down exactly what I mean. A timeshare is a program in which a group of people shares use of a property by dividing among themselves the rights to use a property for specific time periods. If you're having sex with multiple men and allowing them to enter your body, this is in essence what you're doing. You may be swapping bodily fluids with this one this week or month and with that one the next week or month. Some females like to label it as sexual freedom. But, in reality, it's sexual promiscuity, sexual irresponsibility and it's nasty. Call it like it is. Having multiple sexual partners isn't the conduct of a quality woman, but the behavior of a trifling female. It's downright disgusting. Quality men aren't interested in timeshares. They want a home they can call their own. And if you're a quality woman, you should too.ℓσтυѕ

I've Got My (Wo)man, The work stops

What you do to get someone, won't be what you do to keep them. You're getting to know someone, and you're vibing with them. She's digging him, he's feeling her. They decide to become exclusive. As time passes, the couple becomes complacent because they've done the work to get each other, so they feel nothing more needs to be done. As the saying goes, what you did to get him/her, do the same to keep them. I can't argue with this because it's easy to get your dream (wo)man, it's hard to keep them. Couples must be willing to keep their relationship fresh by any means necessary. Do date nights, rekindle the first time you two met, etc. Real couples know the work begins after a couple becomes exclusive, not this play-play nonsense most people are into.

Why does the work begin AFTER a couple becomes exclusive? It's easy, life happens. Loss of a parent/loved one, unemployment, life-threatening illness, etc. Those scenarios will rock the most solid couples. A relationship is tested when life's storms hit you back to back. Can you two stand firm in your union, or will you fold at the first sign of adversity? Many couples are quick to end their union over the first sign of adversity. That's a sign that some people aren't cut out for marriage. Even though the Bible says it's not good for man to be alone, and God will create a helpmate suitable for him; the divorce rate would say otherwise. How a spouse reacts to adversity is an indicator of how suitable a mate they would be.

The work doesn't stop once you get your (wo)man, it's just beginning. As the work begins, the couple must always be on the same page. You never know what curve balls life will throw your way. In choosing a partner, tough questions must be asked. If they respond well, you have a keeper. If not, find someone who's willing to fight hard for you as you are for them.

Peace In Your Home

Everybody likes peace & quiet. Who has time to do battle when they battle enough outside the home? That's ridiculous. Home should be the ONE place where you can retreat to in order to escape the BS of the streets. If you can't have peace in your own house, something is wrong. A man gets up at 5am to hit the gym for an hour and a half, then he puts in a full day on the job. Once he comes home, here comes his wife hitting him with nonsense he had nothing to do with. Check this, she's had her own battles and she's going to unload on him? That's foul. If she was going to act a fool, she should've taken a few hours to debrief before unloading her attitude on him. NO ONE should be responsible for your bad attitude. If you need time to debrief, do whatever you have to do in order to get your mind right. Pray, scream to the mountaintop, vent to your best friends, whatever you see fit. It speaks volumes about you if a spouse unfairly gives their mate their attitude. Men & women are equally guilty of this.

I stand by my premise that if there's no peace in your home, something is wrong. There are times to confront, and times to let it ride. Personally, I don't have time to come home to a woman with a horrible attitude. I can have the best day, and here comes this witch spewing her poison. I'm liable to put her in her place, and dare her to move. That's the difference between some men and women: Many times, women make mountains out of molehills. What's not important to him, is important to her. With men, they confront when necessary and move on. This is why people need to gauge their prospective mates very carefully. Will I have peace with him or her? If so, we can make something shake. If not, both should go their separate ways. You go to war outside your home, and you bring that mess into your home? That's dumb.com. I refuse to sacrifice my peace of mind to do battle with my spouse. Then again, I won't have that problem because I will stress to my prospective woman that if we're going to get married, you WILL NOT unleash your attitude on me for any reason. If you're having a bad day, take time to debrief and let me know what's on your mind.

Then again, how many women DON'T like to argue? A small percentage. They think it's "healthy".



Mixing Business With Pleasure

Mixing Business With Pleasure?

 

There's a common theme among workplace romances: Don't eat where you work. In layman's terms, don't get involved with someone from your job. You see your colleagues 40 hours out of the week (which is more time than most spend with their families), and you're going to develop feelings? That's bonkers. Too much can go wrong getting involved with a colleague, and the relationship goes downhill. Here's an example: You and a colleague are competing for a Director position because the present Executive Director was promoted to Vice President. The position is in Miami, and you two work at the Atlanta office. Once the opening is up for grabs, you and your colleague go to war. Both employees have been on point since they were hired and continue to shine. The supervisor knows she can come to her superstars for help with her assignments because they will help her produce top notch work.

The man and woman do overtime, seek out additional projects and they go all out like never before because both of them want that Executive Director position. Here's the catch, they've been attracted to each other for quite sometime, but they didn't act on their feelings because they want to keep business and pleasure separate. Both the man and woman agree to work on a big project. As they're working on this project, they exchange ideas and their relationship grows closer. Once they put the finishing touches on this major assignment, they agree to dinner & a movie. They enjoyed a weekend together and report for work on Monday morning, keeping their relationship professional. When a man & woman have a good working relationship, it carries over into their personal life. They're a little more flirty than usual, and they have lunch together. No harm right? Right. Remember, these two are doing a good job (so far) of separating business from pleasure.

When the Executive Director announces the promotion, the man gets the promotion because he's considered an expert at his position, so that garners him the respect amongst his colleagues. His co-worker friend acts like she's not jealous, but deep down she is. He's excited, and when he goes to share the good news with her, she side eyes him. You know how some co-workers act when they don't get the promotion they want: Envy is magnified x 100. I don't see myself getting involved with a woman I work with; that would be awkward. The moral of the story is: It's not worth it to mix business with pleasure, because when a promotion is on the line, people's worst side comes out.

 

Does Social Media Hurt Relationships?

Does social media hurt relationships? That depends. Some people say yes, others say no. Truthfully, it's a little of both. Some couples don't allow outsiders to meddle in their relationships (as they should), and others will let any & everyone interfere in their business. Go on social media right now, and you'll read various statuses about social media interference in relationships. My personal view is this: While I do believe that social media does hurt relationships, the success or failure of any relationship hinges on the couple. Relationships require work, and nobody has time to let outsiders mess up what they're trying to build. If a couple is going to be on social media, they should establish their relationship status so as not to create confusion.

Once the relationship is established, any suspect behavior should not happen. Commenting on other (wo)men's pictures saying (s)he's fine or I want to get with this and that person. There have been stories where people have broken up over social media. Those relationships weren't strong to begin with. There's more to the story than we know. It takes a level of trust to be in a committed relationship, and be on social media. Think about it: An engaged man is on Facebook or Twitter looking at pictures of curvy women. One woman catches his eye, and he inboxes her wanting to "get to know her". Conversation flows and he arranges to meet this woman. As they're getting to know each other, his fiancee doesn't cross his mind because he's wrapped in getting to know this other woman.

The conversation turns to sexting, and sexting turns into cheating. The woman starts to suspect something with her fiancee and starts interrogating him. At first he says he was working late, then he graduates to hanging with his boys. Some men won't openly admit their cheating because they don't want to hurt their mate. While there is validity in social media hurting relationships; for the most part I believe that if a relationship doesn't have a solid foundation, it will not last.

Multiple Dating

GSRT Member Question:

When you are single and dating, is there anything wrong with dating more than one person at a time? A guy I met a couple of weeks ago – we’ve been out twice – once for lunch, and we also went to the movies. He said it's a turn off for him when he meets a woman that is “dating around” and unless I am willing to date only him, he's not interested.

My thing is, part of being single and dating is getting to know people and if I just met a man, why on earth would he think I would drop everything and focus on him? Isn’t that the point of dating until you meet a person you want to commit to?

What is your opinion?

 

My View: If you're dating more than one person, something's wrong. To me, you can't make up your mind as to who you want, so you have to date multiple people. In this scenario, I agree with the man because he wants to get to know this one woman, and she's "dating around". I'd be turned off by a woman who's dating around too because to me, that shows she doesn't know what she wants. She has to date this & that person in order to find out what she's looking for. That's what turns most (wo)men off. When you have someone who's wanting to get to know you, you turn your attention to them. It's skankish to date multiple people; If that's what some people do, more power to them. That couldn't be me. If I'm interested in a woman, all my focus goes to her because I see something in her that I may not find in anyone else.

If I'm interested in a woman, I'm interested in HER. I don't have time to be dating multiple women because to me, that's foul. What if the woman I'm dating has feelings for me and wants to marry me? I can't do that if I'm dating multiple women. If I'm trying to get into polygyny, then I'd get to know multiple women because the premise of polygamy is for building. One woman does this, the next woman does this and that, etc. Dating around is nothing more than an inability to decide who you want. You date one person on this day, the next person on that day, and so on. To me, dating around reflects poorly on (wo)men because it means the (wo)men involved are being led on.

Say a woman dates around, and she's vibing with several men at the same time. All these men are what she's looking for so she has difficulty choosing the perfect man. At some point, these men will find out about each other, and the woman will look crazy because she led each man to believe that he was the one. That's why I'm against dating around, because feelings will be hurt.



Public Service Announcement

Attention all men: Stop hooting & hollering because a woman gave you sex. What gives you the right to do a praise dance over something she's giving to every other man? That's silly to me. When a man gets sprung over nooky, that tells me he's not used to getting any from a woman, and he doesn't know how to act. It also means he's hard up for sex to where a woman finally sleeps with him, and he doesn't know what to do. He tries to make her pleasure palace exclusive: She can't sleep with other men, or do this & that, etc. It's her body, and she can do what she pleases with it. If she wants to share her cookies with every Tom, Dick & Harry, that's her perogative. Thank goodness I've never been thirsty for sex because I couldn't spend all my resources chasing after something she's giving to every other guy. You can tell when a man's not used to female attention, because when a woman offers the cooch, he starts acting crazy and salivating at the mouth. Some women do this, but not to the degree of men.

Expanding on yesterday's commentary about bad sex, loyalty is a lost art among some couples. Women leaving men over bad sex, men being within their right to leave because she let herself go; it's bonkers to me and gives me more ammunition to remain single. You don't truly know people like you think. People can and will tell you anything just to get in good standing. Once you let your guard down, they show you sides of them you didn't know about. You can prepare all you want, but all that preparation is put to the test once you get into a relationship with someone. If a woman is willing to leave her man over bad sex, she's doing him a favor. She wasn't into him for who he is, she was checking for him because she felt he could blow her back out. If a woman let herself go and her husband was no longer attracted to her, and he left her, all the women would call for his crucifixion. Here come the "that dog, he's not a real man, he's trifling, etc" shots. I see why most people choose to remain single, because they see the lack of loyalty among some couples, and would rather not deal.