This Is The Mess I Don't Like

According to many black women, black men are deadbeats, down low, losers, thugs, lazy, uneducated, etc.What does that make her if she laying down with these men? We all make mistakes yes, but to make the same mistake over and over again; something's wrong.  These same women are having babies by these men and have the nerve to pass over stand-up brothers. When these women are done wrong, they want to look for a good man all of a sudden but by that time, that stand-up guy has moved on to a woman that will appreciate him for who he is, not what he has. 

5 Random Thoughts

1. Everybody has their cup out but didn't chip in. Simply put, you have your hand out but aren't willing to contribute to the outcome.

2. Are women trading their cooch on the New York Stock Exchange? You would think so with how they value it. "I have that good good to make a man never stray"

3. Chris Bosh scored a major victory in his custody battle with his baby mama. This cat claims Texas as an official residence instead of Florida because if he claimed Florida, he would have to fork out $30K a month for the next 15 years for his kid's child support.

4.I'm tired of men and women thinking they are entitled to this, that and the third. Get up, get out and make your own way in this world. You can legitimately need help but no one will give you a helping hand. At least when you make it, you can say you did it on your own.

5. Look out for #1 because no one else will (except God).

The Friend Zone

A woman puts a man in the friend zone, gets with Mr.Wrong and he dogs her out all kinds of crazy, comes to her senses and tries to look up Mr.Friend Zone only to realize he's moved on with someone else. This woman doesn't realize she's prepared him for the next woman. She's looking crazy because she missed out on what could be a beautiful relationship. The issue I see with women who put men in the friend zone is some women want to keep him as a back-up. When their current relationship isn't so hot, she comes to him for advice on their relationship. Her male friend knows the ins & outs of their relationship and this could be his chance to move in for the kill (there are some men who sit on the sidelines waiting for a chance to get in the game). Putting a man in the friend zone could be good or bad, depending on how you look at it. If a man gets in the friend zone, it's because she wasn't attracted to him in the first place, and if the other guy dogs her out, she just wants the other guy to comfort her and rebuild her ego. They also get put in the friend zone as a safety net or emergency jump off, typically the dude in the friend zone is the one they depend on, can call up and cry on their shoulder, will get out the bed and drive across town to see about you; he knows all your issues and gives you good advice, and comes through for you; hes reliable. Now if that doesn't sound like a good man for her, I don't know what does. She doesn't have to be attracted to him, but he displays the other attributes that make him a great catch. These attributes are the same ones women seek in a potential mate. Mr. Friend Zone could be the best thing for her but she would never know because she put him in just that, the FRIEND ZONE.

Ne-Yo - Let Me Love You (Until You Learn To Love Yourself)

Is he being realistic? Is Ne-Yo misleading people to think this will happen? I didn't watch the video. I have been hearing the song on the radio and the gag reflex got started up. Drivel I tell ya!!! This is 2012 and I really don't think anyone is going to attempt to heal someone who is broken no matter how in love they are with them or what they see as potential in a mate. Let's be honest, no one is patient enough to fix a damaged person. If someone's damaged, no amount of love can bring him/her back unless they get the help they need to become whole again. It takes a special person to work with a damaged person, to the point of wanting to build a relationship with them. Honestly I couldn't do it BUT...if I feel she was worth it, I possibly could. She would have to show serious growth because I don't have time to go back & forth. We're all broken to a degree; question is who's healing themselves enough that you want to help? Unfortunately, not many people are into healing themselves because they're on some "this is how I was when you met me so stop trying to fix me" craziness. For the people who depend on others to fix them: It's not their job to fix you. You should fix yourself. Why depend on someone to do for you what you CAN & SHOULD do for yourself? There's more pride in getting where you want to be on your own than depending on someone because in a way, you can say you did that. I feel like this, a man can love a woman all he wants but if she doesn't love herself, it's useless.

Secretive Adoption

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2242567/Terry-Achane-Married-fathers-horror-wife-places-baby-adopted-Frei-family-telling-him.html

Shakes Head. This article has me fuming because how could a woman be so foul as to place her child up for adoption without discussing it with her husband? Yes, he was deployed but that gave her no excuse. Stories like this are why custody laws need to be revisited & revised because it seems like a woman can be the most  unfit parent and the courts will always rule in her favor. I guess it pays to be a woman huh? To know you've got the legal system in your back pocket, all she needs is a few well-placed stories and boom, the legal system is stupid enough to fall for her stories. In the story, one couple was having marital problems because Ms. Bland suggested having an abortion and he wouldn't stand for it. Their marriage could not have been that bad to where she wants an abortion; there has to be more to the story. If her husband was opposed to the abortion, that should've been the end of it. Carry the child to term and figure out where to go from there. I guess women feel like they have all say so in what to do with a baby since they're the ones carrying. Last I checked, she couldn't get pregnant by herself (she had help) so she should've discussed this with her husband. The husband's a drill instructor who took a job out of town. Unbeknownst to him, his lady went behind his back and put the child up for adoption. The couple that adopted the child say the adopted baby is theirs and they won't give it up without a fight. Make it so bad, she gave the courts fake contact information so the husband couldn't track her down to inquire about his child's welfare; basically she gave him and the courts the run-around. Stories like this are why men need to be CAREFUL who they lay down with because you don't know. You don't know what that woman's moral character is like because as evidenced in this story, some women are very spiteful and will pull stunts like this. I can only imagine how irate the husband is going to be when he comes back only to find out his child isn't there. If my wife (soon to be ex-wife, after she pulled this) pulled this crap, best believe I would be hot. Little does she know that I would already have a tracking system in place so that I would know where my child is at all times. You can't trust nobody (even your man or wife). I'm glad the father won his case but the longer this drags out, the less time he has with his child. You can't get back time lost with your child. At least he's fighting hard to see his child because in situations like this, most men would feel if the mother wants to be spiteful and keep him from his child(ren), that's her problem and not his. The problem with that logic is this: That child will grow up one day and by the time he comes around, it will be too late because that child will be living their own life. They will get used to not having their dad around to the point of indifference. If he's there, good. If not, oh well. Life Goes On.

Facebook hiatus/Miami vacation

I first joined Facebook on March 21, 2008. Since that time I've been on FB nonstop for 4 years straight. No breaks, nada. I've met wonderful people on Facebook and continue to do so. I've even come across people I used to go to school with. I guess it's true what people say: You come up on familiar faces all the time on Facebook. Last week I decided to take a FB hiatus because as with everything, Facebook can beome very addicting. I'm in Miami, Florida as we speak enjoying this beautiful weather and taking in the city. Facebook is the last thing on my mind if I'm in Miami. Think about it, when you break away from your favorite leisure activities, you have more time to focus on what's important. You can use that time to work on a few of your goals, improve yourself, etc. Makes me wonder why I didn't do this hiatus sooner. Since my time in Miami, I've been all over the city (yes, even the hood side of Miami. The hood has some historical spots and some of the most awesome soul food around). From South Beach to Overtown on up to Opa-Locka/Miami Gardens, I've been all over Miami. I'm digging Miami so much I'm not sure I want to come back to Tallahassee, lol. All good things must come to an end so in a roundabout way, I'm looking forward to coming back to Tallahassee so I can pick up where I left off. Best believe I'm returning to Miami because there's no city like it. The international flavor & cuisine, attractive women, palm trees & blue skies, shopping, nightlife, etc. No wonder people from other cities drive for miles just to come get a taste of MIA. I never knew how rewarding a hiatus can be which makes me wonder why I didn't do it sooner. Everyone needs a break at some point, myself included. What better way to break away from Facebook than a Miami vacation?

A Happy Wife Is A Happy Life?

A Happy Wife Is A Happy Life, True Or False? It depends on the person he's with. It's true if a man's woman is appreciative of him but false if she's not. If a woman is appreciative of how hard her man tries to keep her satisfied, then he will have no problem moving heaven & earth to please her. If a woman nitpicks over everything, then her spouse will not put forth as much effort to keep his woman happy because he knows she won't appreciate it. This phrase is one of those quips women use to get their husbands to do whatever she wants, even when he has good reason to refuse. With most men lacking spine, she gets her way. Honestly, I don't buy that "A Happy Wife Is A Happy Life" statement because a man can do everything in his power to please his wife and it's not enough. She will always have something to say about how this, that and the third could've been done better, she wouldn't have done it this way, etc. If it's that important to you, do it yourself. This is why many men are reluctant to get married, unappreciative women. Can you blame them? Why would any man want to marry someone that won't appreciate him? That's silly. When a woman says A Happy Wife Is A Happy Life, red flags go up for me because that says she wants him to do any and everything to please her without reciprocity. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for moving heaven & earth to keep a woman happy but in doing so, I want to know she will appreciate it. In being appreciative of me going the extra mile for her, I have no problem doing what a good man should, and that's pleasing his lady. What one man won't do, another man will (that goes double for women). A Happy Wife Is A Happy Life is valid if a woman's appreciative of her man keeping her happy, not in the big things but the small things. The phrase is false if no matter what a man does, it's not good enough for her. She finds fault in any & everything and wonders why her man checks out. A man will always go where he's appreciated.