Hating On Another's Blessing

I never thought I would write on this very subject but after reading a friend's FB status, I have to address this. I expect jealousy from the world when you become successful but for Christians to get jealous of another believer's blessing & position is the epitome of flaw. If nowhere else, Christians should be able to celebrate each other's blessing but because Christians are flawed like everyone else, they aren't exempt from feelings of envy. There is no way anyone can make me understand this. Why be jealous of another's position & blessing? That's craziness because God is no respector of persons. What he does/did for one person, he can do for everyone. Everyone can enjoy God's blessings if they are faithful & obedient. The reason why some Christians seemingly are more blessed than others could lie in a believer's level of obedience & faithfulness. Some Christians do what God says with no objection (even if they don't understand the rationale). Your level of obedience is in direct proportion to your blessing. God has blessings & positions for all his children so in the end, it's futile to be envious of another believer's blessing. God's children are supposed to encourage each other, not be jealous because one believer has a greater blessing & position than another. God blesses his children how he sees fit. How God chooses to bless his children is his business, not ours. The sooner people learn this, the better. I think it's sad that God's people can't co-exist; there's probably more backbiting and gossip between so-called Christians than the world. How can Christians lead people to Christ and they're cutting up worse than the world? Shakes Head. It's behavior like this that I understand why the world thinks Christians are flaw because in their mind, they aren't living any differently so what incentive do they have to give their hearts to God? The reason why some Christians envy another believer's blessing is because THEY wish they had his/her calling. That calling may mean he/she is in the spotlight and some Christians want the fame & fortune of another believer. I can honestly say I have never been jealous of another believer's blessing because for one, that's flaw and two, I don't know what they went through for that blessing so I have to be happy for them. Seeing someone gets blessed keeps me motivated to know that I'm in line for my breakthrough.

Love

Love....a word that comes and goes like the wind. We all love in different ways. Some people show love through hugs and others show love by words. We all have our own definition of what love is but the general definition of love is a favorable action towards something or someone. What I can't understand is how people can throw the word love around like the mess isn't wrong. It's easy to love when things are going great but that love is tested when everything's falling apart around you. People attach love to objects, people, things, etc. You can like a certain thing but to have love for an inanimate objects is beyond me. You know what I think? I think people have selective love. They love someone when everything's lovely but when their spouse isn't acting lovable back, that love may go out the window. I'm the first to say that I will not enter a relationship if I can't love my lady in the good & bad. I would be wasting my time and hers. Many people don't think like that, they're looking out for Number One. It's good to look out for Number 1 but that's where people get mixed up. They forget others have standards, too. It's not about one person when it comes to love. Love is about sacrifice; do you give up something to make your spouse happy. For example: A man and woman go to the movies together and want to see a flick. She wants to see a chick flick and he wants to see an action movie. If he would have acquiesced to her, he's proven his love for her because he gave up his action movie for her. He had every right to say no, but because he cares about his woman, he agreed to watch the chick flick with the misses. The previous example showed love in a sacrificial manner.  I don't know too many guys that will watch a chick flick with their fiancee or lady. Honestly, love doesn't carry the same meaning it once did because people use the word carelessly. "I Love Ice Cream, I Love Cars, I Love Food, etc." You have people who love selectively, meaning they love when people are acting right but when people get to acting stupid, they withdraw or limit their love. Don't say you love someone & you don't mean it.

Dealing With Someone's Baggage

Everyone has baggage, it's just a matter of finding someone that cares enough to help you unpack. FALSE! Sensible people do not have baggage, nor should they have to take on someone's issues. Most baggage you created is by yourself. Before you think about getting involved with someone, leave your baggage at the terminal. Better yet, don't bring your baggage anywhere NEAR the terminal. Throw away your baggage where it can be lost forever. I'm aware that everyone is dealing with some type of issue but for me, it's not so much the issue, it's that they refuse to acknowledge the flaw and take corrective measures so they don't run a good man/woman off. Let's be real, nobody in their right mind would (or should) be responsible for another adult. I don't have time to do what her parents should've done, which is prepare her for life. I have issues I'm dealing with myself but the difference is...I recognize them and take corrective action. I want to be the best man I can be for my lady (whoever she is) and most of all, myself. I can't get older and not having grown from my 20's & 30's; that's sad. Women are good for this because they expect a man to deal with her problems but she's quick to check him on his issue. See the hypocrisy in this scenario? Why should a man have to deal with a woman's baggage but she won't deal with his? That's flaw to me and is one of the reasons why I'm single because a woman will not be my project; I will not take on the burden of fixing her up into the woman I want her to be. She should have herself together before I get involved with her. Once I get involved with a woman, it's full speed ahead. What I mean is that I want us to move forward as a couple and in order for us to move forward as a couple, ALL our baggage must be left at the terminal. It's not to say that we won't have issues as a couple because we will; it's just that the issues won't be as bad because we would have a long heart-to-heart discussion about our vision for the relationship. You have some men and women that take on their mate as a project, they work through each other's faults and with enough progress, their mate blossoms into the man/woman they were intended to be. A woman would have to be very special for me to overlook her baggage; those women do exist and require special care. I can work with a woman's baggage as long as she's willing to acknowledge her issue(s) and take corrective action. Here's the irony: Some women expect men to deal with their craziness but won't tolerate a fraction of his issue(s). That won't fly with me because I'll tell any woman off top: There's no shame in having baggage; the shame lies in using your baggage as a crutch to feel sorry for yourself.

Asking The Tough Questions

Why are couples afraid to ask tough questions in their relationship? I've never understood that. You're supposed to ask the hard questions to see where the relationship is going. I don't know about anyone else but if I get involved with a woman, I'm asking the hard questions off top (and I expect the same in return) because I want to see where her head is at. How you answer tough questions determines the relationship length. If one or both people beat around the bush, that says they aren't strong enough to tackle the hard issues in a relationship. If your partner gets offended when you ask them meaty questions, that's their problem. That's also a red flag that shouldn't be taken lightly. If I'm taking on a woman to be my future wife, wouldn't it make sense to ask the hard questions? I think so because you get a better understanding of who they are by their responses. If they aren't honest in their responses, chances are they won't be honest when it counts. I won't trust a woman that's afraid to ask me the hard questions and here's the catch...I EXPECT HER TO AND VICE VERSA. When a couple isn't afraid to ask the hard questions, that tells me their relationship will last because they are able to navigate the rough waters of life together. I was listening to Bishop Jakes "Before You Do" Series and he was spot on with his information. Asking tough questions requires 3 components: Research, Interrogate and Verify. When you want to know something about a person, you do investigative research into their background to get an idea of how their history has shaped them into who they are today. After you research, you interrogate him/her because you want to be sure you know what you're getting into before you proceed further. The verification is the last step in getting to know your mate because he/she is able to help you better understand them by clearing the air about any given information.



Meeting The Ex

I've thought it strange that a man/woman engaged or in a relationship with their mate would feel a need to meet their ex for dinner. Why? You and your ex didn't work out so THAT relationship should be left alone. Meeting an ex raises so many red flags that it could mean (s)he is trying to see if they still have a chance of reuniting or they could have unfinished business and need closure. You shouldn't have to meet your ex in order to get closure, the closure should've been received at the final conversation. There's too many red flags because your current mate could think you and your ex are still seeing each other even though you mentioned it's over between you two. Otherwise, there's no reason for an engaged or taken person to meet their ex for dinner. For example: A man and woman are engaged to be married, both are coming from previous relationships. Those relationships didn't give them the needed closure so they look up their ex's in hopes of receiving the necessary closure. The couple's exes keep their meetings on the low for a while but things start to fall apart: so-called working late, unusual clothing attire, etc. You can keep things on the low for so long before you're exposed so honesty is the best policy. Be straight with your man or woman that you're going to meet your ex for closure. They may be upset (rightfully so) and want to know why but as long as you lay it on the table that you need official closure from the previous relationship, they should be ok. If you're with your man or woman and you plan on building a life with them, your ex should be just that, YOUR EX. Whatever closure you did (or didn't) receive, let it go and focus on the present & future, not the past. If I'm with a woman, she's getting ALL of me. I'm not looking for closure from my ex because I'm thinking she's my ex, that's all the closure I need. Doesn't matter why we didn't work out, it's just that our bond didn't make it. That's ok because except for a select few, all relationships aren't meant to last.

Strength In Weakness

As humans, we project strength at all times (as we should). Nobody wants to be weak because in weakness you're not at your best. When you're not at your best, you can't focus like you normally do when you're at full strength. Weakness is synonymous with vulnerability. 2 Corinthians 12:9 (Message) states: ^7-10Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me: My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength come into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become. Easier said than done right? Of course. The hardest things are never easy, nor are they supposed to be. When you're born with good health & fortune, you should be thankful because there are people who are less fortunate than you that would trade places quickfast. Everyone should be thankful for good health & fortune, why would anyone want failing health and poverty? That's silly but unfortunately we live in a fallen world so these things are prevalent. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for people who are born blessed because they don't have to worry about anything for the most part. I believe when you're born flawless, you tend to be cocky because you've never had to go through anything, you look down on others less fortunate than yourself and most of all, you don't know how to relate to ALL people, especially those who didn't have the same start as you. I know it's tough to embrace weakness because as stated before, being weak is equal to vulnerability. You want to appear as though you have it together when on the surface it may be true but deep down, you're going through hell but you just don't want anyone to know. This is Richard talking: I know who and what I am, what I stand for. I march to the beat of my drum and I honestly don't care what other people think or say about me. If someone plays no major role in my life, I let their idiotic comments roll off my back like shower water. Are they paying my bills, putting clothes on my back & food on my table? Negative. It takes more strength to embrace your flaws than it does to celebrate your strengths.

Giving Your Best To The Wrong Person

Marvin's Motivational Moment: "Relationship Fact" Your best efforts will never be enough when your best efforts are being wasted on the wrong person. This was shared with me by a Facebook friend and it's in line with what I feel about relationships: Both men & women should take their time getting to know one another. In getting to know one another, you find out critical components of their personality such as their life outlook, ambition, spirituality, etc. If any of those are out of whack, proceed with caution. The reason why many people get their hearts broken is because they give their best to the wrong person. Why would you give your best to an unworthy person? That's crazy. If you're the person you want to attract then it would behoove you to be selective. Being selective ensures you attract the perfect person for YOU; that doesn't mean (s)he doesn't have faults, it simply means the person you picked up is suited to YOU. Your best efforts will be enough when they are used on the right person and when they are used on Mr(s) Right, that makes for a beautiful union. I don't know about anyone else but for me, I'm not giving my best to the wrong person. The reason I made that statement is because if I'm the person I want to attract or I'm working on becoming who I want to attract, why would I get involved with Ms. Wrong? That's silly. A woman isn't a project for me; I don't have time to fix her up to my specifications. If she's not on point for me and I for her, there's no need for us to be together. If more people used Marvin Sapp's relationship fact as a screening tool, everyone could find a compatible mate and there wouldn't be a need for failed relationships before he/she FINALLY gets it. When you give your best to the wrong person, you're destined for heartbreak, but when you give your best to the right person, your relationship will soar into the heavens. Not everybody is worthy of your best. Your best should be reserved for those who will reciprocate.